


Deliver Me

by Lady Divine (fhartz91)



Series: Deliver Me 'verse [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Action, Action & Romance, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Future, Anal Sex, Angst, Attempted Kidnapping, Bottoming, Bottoming from the Top, Character Death, Comfort, Comfort Sex, Comfort/Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, First Time Bottoming, First Time Topping, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Frottage, Future Fic, Hand Jobs, Hiding, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, M/M, Masturbation, Mystery, Non-Canon Relationship, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Oral Sex, Past Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Past!Klaine, Physical Abuse, Romance, Rutting, Sex, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Shower Sex, Stalking, Suspense, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Topping, Topping from the Bottom, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-03
Updated: 2014-02-04
Packaged: 2017-12-31 09:19:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 32
Words: 154,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1029975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fhartz91/pseuds/Lady%20Divine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cut off from his family and his inheritance, Sebastian Smythe leaves college and his home, and is left with no other choice than to get the only job he can find - as a Fed-Ex delivery driver. He takes over a route that no one else wants, because of a client that has been driving other delivery drivers insane. Desperate for a job, Sebastian could care less, because who in the world can out bitch Sebastian Smythe? None other than Kurt Hummel. Everyone thinks Kurt Hummel is a shut-in. He doesn't like people. He strives for perfection, is obsessive compulsive, and has strange rituals. But it seems to Sebastian that Kurt is hiding a secret, one he's itching to find out. It would be much easier, though, if he wasn't falling in love with him instead.</p><p>This is a romantic hurt/comfort story with twist of being a mystery/suspense story as well.</p><p>Warning for being Adam Crawford/David Karofsky/Chandler Kiehl unfriendly. Also warning for mention of Eli C.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KurtbastianAlways](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KurtbastianAlways/gifts).



**A/N:** _I wrote this for a friend. It's fluffy, but with a twist. I hope you enjoy it :)_

 

Sebastian looked down at his tight black Dickie shorts and sighed. He tugged at the hems, trying to will them to reach his knees, but it just wasn't happening.  
  
"Sorry about that," Debbie, his supervisor, smirked in a way that told him she wasn't too sorry, especially considering the way she overtly looked over his ass with hungry eyes.  
  
Sebastian sighed.  
  
 _'Sorry,'_ Sebastian thought sarcastically. _'Not even if we played on the same team.'_  
  
Sebastian's morning had gone from bad to worse and was heading toward zombie apocalypse level of horrible at an alarming rate. It had all started when he dropped the carafe to his coffee machine, which shattered into a million pieces before he even had a chance to make his cup of coffee. It was the first thing he had bought for his run-down shoebox apartment.  
  
He took it as a sign.  
  
He had already been running late for his first day of work so he couldn't stop anywhere for a cup, not that he had $2.38 to spend on a tall drip anyway.  
  
Apparently, when his father said 'cut off', he meant 'cut off'. Sebastian had always taken his silver spoon fed life for granted. He knew his father wasn't an overly affectionate man, but he didn't actually believe that he was a homophobic bastard. Though, to be fair, his dad's decision to leave him with nothing probably came from the fact that traditionally breeders were the ones more than likely to have heirs, and as it seemed less than likely that Sebastian would, his dad chose to dissolve all ties with his eldest son, and rest the entirety of the family's inheritance on his brother, who already had a wife and a newborn baby boy.  
  
That probably explained why his father made a point of saying, "It's just good business," before slamming the door in his face.  
  
Sebastian grimaced as he let the memory of that moment travel to the forefront of his mind, before shoving it back down into the hole where it was normally kept.  
  
Sebastian had started out the day in a funk. Now, looking at himiself in the stained break-room mirror, wearing his brand spanking new Fed-Ex delivery uniform, he became overwhelmingly depressed. By the end of the day, he predicted he would be suicidal.  
  
"You'll be riding the route today with Louis," Debbie said, mostly addressing Sebastian's crotch. Sebastian tried tugging down on his shirt this time, but polyester doesn't give.  
  
Sebastian cringed at the idea that he was wearing polyester.  
  
His life was definitely over.  
  
Debbie gestured to an older hispanic gentleman with graying hair at the temples. The man came up to him, extending a hand for Sebastian to shake.  
  
Sebastian really didn't want to shake this man's hand.  
  
"I'm sorry," he said, thinking quickly and shoving his hands in his pockets, "I'm just getting over the flu."  
  
Louis nodded, smiling appreciatively that the new guy was thoughtful enough not to get him sick.  
  
Sebastian rolled his eyes at the idiocy.  
  
Of course, Louis didn't know exactly how much of a practiced asshole Sebastian Smythe actually was.  
  
The silence in the room lingered, much like Debbie's eyes on Sebastian's body. Now he was convinced that she had ordered him the wrong size on purpose.  
  
"Let's get a move on," Louis said, grabbing his digital delivery pad and stylus. Sebastian followed the man out to the garage, greatful to be heading anywhere else, feeling Debbie's eyes on his ass the entire way.  
  
The sun hadn't even touched the sky when the two men entered the loaded truck and made their way out of the Fed-Ex lot.  
  
Sebastian only partially listened to all of Louis's instructions. All he really wanted was to put his head down and sleep. At Harvard, his first class didn't even start till eight. He could get away with not showing up most days and just picking up the notes later since he was blowing the T. A. on a pretty regular basis.  
  
Sebastian wondered for a moment what...or who...Jeremiah might be doing right now.  
  
Five o'clock in the morning just did not do it for him. He wished he could find something different...anything different...but this was actually the 80th job he had applied for. He only got it because the guy who had the route before him had gone nuts and walked out one day...right into oncoming traffic.  
  
He lived, but there was pretty much no chance of him returning to work.  
  
Louis did the first handful of deliveries alone, talking Sebastian through the procedure of scanning the packages and checking the labels against the master list. Sebastian accompanied him on the next batch, paying attention to how Louis addressed the customers. After lunch, Sebastian was running packages to the doors by himself.  
  
Around two in the afternoon, they pulled up to the last house on the route - a cozy looking, out of the way townhouse, surrounded by a tall, black, wrought iron fence.  
  
"Well, here it is," Louis said, a slight flourish in his voice. Sebastian looked at the older man, bemused.  
  
"Um, am I supposed to know what that means?" Sebastian asked.  
  
" _He's_ the reason you have this route now." Louis looked almost incredulous.  
  
Sebastian made a ridiculous face as he shrugged his shoulders.  
  
"You mean, you haven't heard of this guy?" Louis shifted his eyes left and right, as if someone might be listening to their very important, secret conversation.  
  
Sebastian smirked.  
  
"No," he said, wishing that Louis would just get on with his dramatic story so that he could get back to the shop, take the bus home, and wash the stench of minimum wage off his skin.  
  
"Well," Louis began, "this guy is awful. He's the reason why no one keeps this route very long. He pretty much drives every one he talks to bonkers."  
  
Sebastian rolled his eyes for the hundredth time today. One more time and he might actually sprain something, he thought bitterly.  
  
"Why?" Sebastian asked out of morbid curiosity, "What's his deal?"  
  
"He's a shut in, or something. Works for a publishing company. Gets envelopes every day. I think they're all book manuscripts."  
  
Sebastian shrugged again, failing to see the big deal.  
  
"So, why is he so scary?"  
  
"He finds fault in everything," Louis said exasperated, as if he had just said something really simple that Sebastian was just not getting. "He tears people down. Even if you don't say a word to him, he'll rip you apart for that, too. Debbie had this route a little while ago. He actually made her cry."  
  
Sebastian laughed out loud.  
  
"Sounds like a man after my own heart," Sebastian said. He looked over the soft yellow house with it's thick iron fence and sighed.  
  
"Let's get this over with." Sebastian grabbed a handful of special express envelopes and leapt out of the truck to get to the house.  
  
 _'Shut in,'_ Sebastian thought as he made his way up the walk. _'Must be some moldy old guy three years past death's door.'_ Sebastian laughed at his own joke.  
  
Sebastian looked around at the garden that surrounded the walk. Beautiful dahlias grew almost four feet tall on both sides lining the concrete. Beyond rows of lilacs and marigolds grew vegetables of all kinds - beans, tomatoes, Indian corn. There were more types of plants and flowers than he could identify, all meticulously tended, not a weed to be seen, not a leaf withering, not a stem out of place.  
  
A place for everything, and everything in its place.  
  
It kind of reminded Sebastian of the garden his mom had planted when he was little.  
  
He missed that garden every day.  
  
Sebastian raised his hand to knock when he saw a sign, printed in the most elegant handwriting he'd ever scene. It read, "This door is made of ancient Victorian-era reclaimed wood and is worth more than you are. Use the door bell."  
  
Sebastian shook his head.  
  
His hands itched to knock on that door. He wanted to do it so badly that he actually made a fist and moved it within an inch of the wood. He turned around when he heard the shocks of the Fed-Ex van squeak loudly. He saw Louis, waving his hands wildly, mouthing the word 'No!' over and over again.  
  
 _'This old fart has these guys scared to death.'_ Sebastian wanted to laugh. He turned, resolved more than ever to knock on the door, but it was already open.  
  
Sebastian expected to see a gnarled, hunched over, old man, maybe with one crazy eye and a shock of white hair.  
  
Standing in front of him was clearly not a crumpled old man, but the most incredible, ethereal creature Sebastian had ever seen. The man stood a little shorter than Sebastian, but not by much. His body was lithe and trim, wrapped in a luxurious blue satin dressing robe. He could only be a few years younger than Sebastian, if not the same age. He had the most pale and perfect skin Sebastian had ever seen. It looked so smooth and soft that Sebastian's first instinct was to reach out and touch it, to run a finger down his cheek. Sebastian imagined that if he did, he would hear him sigh, watch his eyelids flutter closed.  
  
The man's eyes had Sebastian hypnotized, struck still by their depth of color. Prismatic irises, almost faceted like a diamond, they shifted between blue and grey, never quite deciding where their loyalties lay.  
  
Sebastian's mouth dropped slightly, unaware that he was staring.  
  
The man smiled, perfect pink lips curling up at the edges in a slightly lopsided grin.  
  
Then, after the pregnant pause between them had run its course, he spoke.  
  
"You're new," he scoffed, his voice deceptively light and airy. The comment sounded more like an insult than an observation.  
  
"Uh, what?" Sebastian asked, confused by the man's tone.  
  
The man rolled his eyes.  
  
"You..." The man spoke slowly, condescention thick in his tone. "Are...new..."  
  
Sebastian clamped his mouth shut, searching to find words...any words.  
  
The only ones that leapt to mind were wholely inappropriate.  
  
He might get slapped.  
  
He'd definitely get fired.  
  
"Uh, I was about to ring the bell," Sebastian said, stuttering a bit. He hated the way his voice sounded. Who am I right now? Sebastian thought.  
  
"Ah," the man said, clapping his hands in front of him loudly with an insincere grin spreading across his face. "The dolt speaks."  
  
That word hit home.  
  
He'd heard his father say it many times.  
  
"I am not a dolt," Sebastian said sternly, feeling himself come back to his own.  
  
"No," the man said defiantly, "you're an ignoramus. You were going to knock, you heathen. Didn't you read the sign? Can you even read?"  
  
Sebastian was stunned. He didn't know how to respond. He didn't want to lose this job. It was painfully obvious that another one wasn't sitting anywhere around the corner. But something else was going on, going wrong. Something bigger than losing this job.  
  
It struck Sebastian immediately how weak this man seemed to make him feel.  
  
Sebastian didn't believe in love at first sight. It was a ridiculous notion. He knew for a fact that this wasn't it.  
  
Still, strangely enough, part of Sebastian wanted to bend to the whim of this beautiful man - whatever that might mean. Another part wanted to kiss him, if for no other reason than to shut his snarky mouth.  
  
Or occupy it in some other way; that was always an option.  
  
Undecided right now, he settled for not looking like a lap dog.  
  
"Excuse me, princess," Sebastian said, raising an eyebrow and thrusting the delivery pad at the man, "I was a little lost in thought."  
  
The man took the device, signing for his packages.  
  
"And what thought might that possibly be? Which of the Power Rangers  becomes the gold one, or something a little less complicated like does the little train make it up the hill? Spoiler alert, he does."  
  
Sebastian had the machine thrust back in his hands. He looked down at the signature as the man tapped his foot, waiting impatiently. Sebastian squinted his eyes to make out the flowery handwriting.  
  
"Kirk," Sebastian said finally.  
  
The man huffed.  
  
"It's KURT," he corrected. "Mr. Hummel to you. Now can I have my packages, please?"  
  
Kurt bit his tongue. He said please! Why did he just say please? Kurt couldn't even remember the last time he had said please. If he was going to start saying please, why would he say it now to this brash, rude, boarish, lower-class oaf with the muscular legs, the emerald green eyes, and the obvious - OHMYGOD!  
  
Sebastian gave the envelopes to Kurt. Kurt's eyes followed the movement of the delivery man's hands as he handed over the packages...and saw a rather impressive one of his own, straining against his incredibly tight and tiny shorts. Kurt immediately shifted his eyes skyward.  
  
"Uh, you might need a new uniform," Kurt suggested, though he surrepticiously glanced to the framed mirror on his wall to get another peek.  
  
Sebastian noticed the subtle dart of Kurt's eyes. He smirked, leaning against the door frame.  
  
"See something you like, princess?"  
  
It was too much fun flustering this uptight, stuck up man. Sebastian suddenly began thinking of all the ways he could go about loosening him up, kissing down the flawless skin of his neck, undoing the belt of his robe, running his tongue over the smooth skin underneath, running his fingertips down his back, stopping to palm over what must be a taut, shapely ass.  
  
Sebastian heard a throat being cleared, and snapped back to the present, to the stormy, acerbic glare of the man, hugging his envelopes to his chest protectively.  
  
"Could you please just go?" Kurt said, his voice trembling slightly.  
  
"Nothing's keeping you from shutting the door, princess."  
  
Sebastian couldn't help getting in one last dig.  
  
Kurt smirked this time.  
  
"Actually, _you_ are, Neanderthal."  
  
Sebastian looked around and noticed he was still leaning against the door jam. He took an exaggerated step backwards, bowing low, as he regarded the man one last time.  
  
"Same time tomorrow?" he said with a low growl.  
  
"God, I hope not."  
  
 _Slam._  
  
Sebastian chuckled as the ancient wooden door shook in its frame.  
  
"It's a date, then," Sebastian quipped, before turning on his heel and walking back towards the truck.  
  
Sebastian's sarcastic, over confident smile slipped away as he relived the last twenty minutes, every sentence, every jab, every flash of those ice blue eyes, every time those perfect bow lips quivered ever so slightly. He plopped down into the seat beside Louis, completely confused. He had managed to get his quarry on the ropes in the end, just like Sebastian liked. But those first few moments, when he set eyes on that sculpted face and those eyes...those eyes that would haunt him every time he closed his own...he had felt something different. A strange, foreign life had flashed before his eyes. He actually could imagine making love to this man - not the same anonymous sex that Sebastian had always preferred, but cherishing Kurt with his mouth and waking up beside him in the morning.  
  
 _Kurt._  
  
The pale, gorgeous face with the exceptional body had a name.  
  
 _Kurt._  
  
Louis turned to Sebastian eagerly.  
  
"So, how'd that...whoa, whoa, whoa!" Louis groaned, his eyes growing wide for a moment before he shut them tight and turned away. "Stow that thing away, sailor. You're going to put an eye out!"  
  
Sebastian looked down at his pants. He had forgotten about his untimely hard-on pressing against the zipper of his too tight shorts.  
  
 _'Fuck!'_ Sebastian thought, trying to pull down his shirt to cover the bulge that refused to go away. _'What would it be like to tap that?'_  
  
He grinned. Sebastian Smythe, jumping from silver spoon to silver lining without suffering whiplash.  
  
Meanwhile, the man with the blue-grey eyes stood behind his closed door, back flush against the wood, his hand covering his chest over his racing heart.  
  
"Oh, dear God," he whispered, eyelids fluttering closed, trying to shut out the light.  
  
Once he did, Kurt could only see emerald green eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

Sebastian sat quietly lost in thought the whole ride back to the Fed-Ex lot. Eventually and thankfully, his hard-on died as Louis jabbered on nervously. Several times he interrupted Sebastian's thoughts with a desperate, "Oh, please man! Tell me you're not going to quit on me! I'm tired of this route." To which Sebastian would sarcastically reassure him that he might as well come back, seeing as he had nothing better to do.  
  
After the third time, Louis said congenially, "Hey, don't let that uptight asshole get you down."  
  
Sebastian flexed his hands where they rested in his lap, resisting a sudden urge to break every one of Louis's teeth.  
  
The moment Louis returned to his other random thoughts, Sebastian drifted off into his own world, one composed entirely of Kurt's eyes, his lips, and what must be hiding beneath that robe. Sebastian imagined worrying the knot of the sash with his fingertips until the it unraveled and the robe slipped open. What did he wear underneath? In Sebastian's daydream Kurt wore absolutely nothing, of course, but a smile and heavy lids shading his come hither eyes. Sebastian had noticed the tell tale collar of a familiar London inspired button down shirt.  
  
Burberry. Sebastian was sure of it.  
  
His Kurt had impeccable  taste.  
  
Sebastian smiled in spite of himself before he even realized he had just referred to the man as _his_ Kurt.  
  
What was going on? What was he doing?  
  
Sebastian shook his head hard. He must be going mad. Maybe he should quit, and get these ridiculous fucking ideas out of his head.  
  
At least, if he didn't work for Fed-Ex anymore, he could seduce Kurt somehow, fuck him, dump him, and get on with his life.  
  
Sebastian chuckled darkly to himself.  
  
 _'Fuck him where?'_ he thought. _'My shit hole apartment? Not a man with class like Kurt.'_  
  
It surprised Sebastian suddenly that he actually cared what Kurt would think about him if he saw where Sebastian lived.  
  
Sebastian sighed. How could someone he talked to for all of twenty minutes derail him so badly?  
  
He needed to get Kurt out of his system.  
  
What he really needed was to get laid.  
  


* * *

  
  
At some point Louis must have realized that Sebastian wasn't really listening to him and stopped talking altogether. They finished the last leg of their trip in silence. They pulled into the lot a little before four. Sebastian had never been happier to see the dreary white building with it's obnoxiously large purple lettering along the side.  
  
In the quiet of his own thoughts he had made a plan. First, he would take a long, hot shower, and probably masturbate for an hour. Letting that erection die on its own had left some serious throbbing in its wake. It was a matter that would need to be dealt with post haste. Then he would dress in one of the few decent designer outfits he had managed to smuggle out of his father's house, hit the first gay bar he could find within walking distance of his apartment, and ride the first guy who showed even a tiny inkling of interest in him, provided he had a nice ass and his face wouldn't necessarily break glass.  
  
If he really felt like torturing himself, he might try and find a man who looked a little like Kurt. This way he could prove this was just some silly infatuation. Maybe he had suddenly developed a taste for pale, blue eyed ice queens in general. He would have to find another one, though, just to be sure.  
  


* * *

  
  
Part one of Sebastian's master plan went bust when he hopped into the shower and discovered he had no hot water. He washed as quickly as he could, and then tried to masturbate with no luck. Not being able to keep an erection under the icy spray, he abandoned all thoughts of a massive, self-induced "O" in favor of not freezing to death.  
  
He lived in a studio apartment which basically meant everything fit in one room. His bedroom also acted as his living room and dining room, all with a view of the kitchen not three steps away. His pitifully small closet housed only his Fed-Ex uniform, his shoes, and his pants, so his dress shirts hung off of every corner in the apartment that he could spare. He had even embedded some of the hangers in the walls like picture frames.  
  
He chose a salmon colored Abercrombie polo and a pair of distressed jeans, hoping against hope that the rolled down cuffs of the light blue denim would cover the scuffs on his rapidly aging boat shoes. The last thing he tried to do was manage his coif, which worked reasonably well considering he had to settle for a $0.99 bottle of White Rain hairspray in place of his regular Redken product.  
  
He looked at himself in the only reflective surface he had - an old toaster that came with the place. Deciding that he was relatively pleased with his appearance, he walked out the door and went on the prowl.  
  
The first bar he could find was not as hot as he had imagined, but considering it was a Monday night he could see why. After three hours of nursing a rum and coke, he finally found and started chatting up the only even remotely attractive guy he could see. Adam was tall and blond, with blue eyes and a pale complexion. Sebastian had to admit that in the dim light of the bar, if he squinted his eyes a certain way and tilted his head to the left, then took a drink of his rum and coke really fast, the man looked vaguely like Kurt. But this man's blond hair was dry, like straw, where Kurt's was a warm chestnut color and looked soft to the touch. Adam's blue eyes were flat and expressionless compared to Kurt's, which shimmered like sunlight as it danced across new fallen snow. Looking at Adam's skin while he talked, Sebastian noticed it was ruddy and sun damaged, where Kurt's skin was flawless and smooth. like fine China, fired and glazed to perfection.  
  
Then, of course, there was Adam's British accent.  
  
Yup, not like Kurt at all really. Sebastian sighed. He had a nice ass, and he was breathing, which was basically at this point Sebastian's only real criteria. So, as soon as he could find a pause in the conversation, Sebastian cut in.  
  
"Look, blondie," Sebastian said, rolling his eyes and setting his empty glass on the table, "are we going to take this party to the bathroom or what?"  
  
The man looked confused and seriously affronted.  
  
"W-what was that?" Adam said with a nervous smile, hoping he had heard the man wrong.  
  
Sebastian leaned in close, trying to get his intent across through the gaze of his own hooded green eyes.  
  
"You're a reasonably hot guy," Sebastian purred, trying for seductive but coming off as seedy instead, "and I'm looking for a good time with no strings attached. So why don't you and I get down and dirty somewhere dark in this establishment. You even get to pick where."  
  
"Um..." Adam stammered, blinking and shaking his head, leaning back on his bar stool to put space between them. "I am not sure what you're implying, sir, but I'm pretty sure my answer will have to be no."  
  
Adam stood quickly and walked away. Sebastian didn't even watch his ass as he left.  
  
Sebastian was bitter. He had just spent over an hour listening (or mostly half listening) to Adam ramble on about taking his cat to the vet, and he couldn't even seal the deal. He spent way too much time comparing him to Kurt, he realized, and not enough time getting in his pants.  
  
That was it. The next man he saw was giving him a blow job for sure, regardless of whether he looked like Kurt or not.  
  
Sebastian scanned the room. Things had started to pick up a bit after ten, and Sebastian had to try hard to peer through the heads of people standing at the bar, sitting at tables, or bouncing around on the dance floor in order to try and spot anyone. As soon as his eyes swept the mob of people dancing, he stumbled headlong into the exact thing he had been searching for.  
  
A man, tall and lithe, with the body of a dancer, was absolutely owning a corner of the dance floor. Over time, people were moving away to give him room to move. He swayed with abandon, smiled up into the swirling lights around him, and ground down erotically on the bodies of two darker skinned men, both with dark, thick, curly hair and eyes only for their gorgeous companion.  
  
 _'Now that's what I'm talking about,'_ Sebastian thought as he watched the beautiful, pale creature, wrapped in Alexander McQueen, moving his body seductively, those two lucky men putting their hands on him anywhere they could touch.  
  
Sebastian stood from his bar stool, and made his way through the other patrons to get to this amazingly sensual man. Sebastian was drawn to those gyrating hips, those long legs, that subtly defined torso and the shirt that clung to it like sin.  
  
The closer Sebastian got to the man, the more Sebastian realized that he looked so much like Kurt it was uncanny.  
  
He was only mere feet from him when Sebastian realized the man was Kurt.  
  
Sebastian's jaw went slack. He was taken back by what he saw, the image of this uptight, straight laced, shut-in throwing himself around with these two men almost pornographically. Kurt turned, catching Sebastian's emerald eyes locked on his body and stopped dancing.  
  
"Great," Kurt smirked, suddenly annoyed, pushing the two still dancing men away from him. "What the fuck are you doing here?"  
  
Kurt stormed off the dance floor in the direction of the bar. Sebastian felt compelled to follow him.  
  
"Well," Sebastian snarked, "this is a bar. A public place. As I am a member of the general public I felt it was alright to come here. Little did I know I should have checked with you first."  
  
Kurt raised a hand to the bartender who immediately brought him a drink without having to say a word.  
  
 _'He must come here a lot,'_ Sebastian thought, and smiled. _'And he orders Shirley Temples? With extra cherries?'_  
  
Sebastian was trying hard to put together a picture of this man and failing spectacularly.  
  
Kurt glared at him.  
  
"If I had known that getting your permission was required, I would have done that at work today and bypassed this unpleasantness."  
  
"You think you're pretty smart, don't you?" Kurt grinned in a sardonic manner that told Sebastian that Kurt definitely did not think that he was smart. Or cute for that matter.  
  
Which was fine with Sebastian. Being cute wasn't necessary for what Sebastian had in mind.  
  
Neither was eye contact, for that matter.  
  
Though doing anything with this man and not looking right into his eyes would most definitely be a sin.  
  
"Smart enough," Sebastian said. "Definitely smart enough to know that those men you're dancing with have something a little more sinister on their minds then dancing."  
  
Sebastian became suddenly serious...trying to impart a warning. They both looked back to the dance floor where the two men huddled, whispering low and close to each other, shooting Sebastian and Kurt uneasy looks.  
  
"Trust me," Kurt said icily, "I've been doing this an awful long time and never before have I needed my Fed-Ex delivery guy to run to my rescue."  
  
Kurt laughed, his voice a gentle lilt, like the ringing of a bell, a sound that should have annoyed Sebastian seeing as he was the one being laughed at, but instead warmed him from head to toe. That sound caught in his head, rattled around, playing with his thoughts - a thought of them naked in bed while Sebastian pinned Kurt to the sheets and tickled him mercilessly. Another thought of them sitting at a table in the sun, sipping tea while Sebastian told Kurt a story from his days in high school, Kurt throwing his head back and laughing that enchantingly high laugh. Or Kurt, eyes filled with tears, while Sebastian tried to comfort him, kneeling between his legs and looking up into those impossibly blue eyes. Sebastian would say something pithy, out of character, and Kurt would laugh.  
  
As all those images dissolved, much like Kurt's sarcastic laugh, he noticed Kurt's eyes on him in the dark light of the bar, one eyebrow raised, and for a moment Sebastian thought he saw a sincere look of concern. As Sebastian blinked, the look on Kurt's face shifted back into place, his lips a tight line as he appraised Sebastian's face.  
  
"Uh, you seem to do that alot," Kurt said, sipping his drink.  
  
"What is that?" Sebastian asked, even though he knew what Kurt was referring to.  
  
"Zoning out like that. You might want to see a doctor."  
  
Kurt put his drink down, and took out a five dollar bill from his pocket.  
  
"Don't worry," Sebastian said, reaching for his own wallet. "I've got it."  
  
Kurt's head snapped to Sebastian's face, an unreadable expression blossoming there. Kurt's eyes shifted again, much more slowly this time so that Sebastian could see the change, the aurora of colors that transformed those stormy gray eyes to a much softer but still rigid sapphire blue. A rosy flush colored Kurt's pale cheeks. Kurt's pink lips pursed slightly as he sucked in a sharp breath.  
  
Sebastian imagined this must be what Kurt looked like when he's just been kissed.  
  
It was extraordinary.  
  
It didn't last long.  
  
Kurt scoffed, looking Sebastian over.  
  
"Yeah," he said, his icy tone returning full force. One blink of his delicate eyelids and the tumultuous storm returned. "Like I need you paying for my drinks, when it's more than obvious that Mr. Trying-to-be-Fashion-Forward gets his clothes from second hand stores." Kurt chuckled once. "Maybe I should be paying for _your_ drink."  
  
Sebastian bit his lip. He wanted to slap this guy.  
  
He wanted to fuck this guy.  
  
More than anything, he wanted to know this guy.  
  
What made him tick. Why he was so angry.  
  
Where he liked to be kissed.  
  
Sebastian longed to come out with something witty, biting, something with an edge that would be equal parts infuriating and equal parts irresistable.  
  
What he came out with was, "What's wrong with the way I dress?"  
  
Kurt laughed again as he turned to the bartender and waved away his change with a flirty smile.  
  
"The question is what isn't wrong with it."  
  
Kurt turned an expert eye on Sebastian, enjoying the opportunity Sebastian had just given him to tear apart his fashion sense way too much. Kurt sat back on his hips, deciding to take his time with this endeavor.  
  
"Well," Kurt drawled, "your shirt is _so_ last season. In fact, it was retro when it came out, which in itself, was a horrendous tragedy." Kurt's eyes traveled down Sebastian's body, his breath catching a little in his throat as he appraised the man's pants. "That also explains the jeans." Kurt's eyes swept over the distressed pattern on the material that clung to Sebastian's thighs. His long, lingering look intrigued Sebastian. Sebastian felt himself drifting closer to the man. He couldn't help it. Kurt's unabashed stare burned Sebastian. It seemed way too intimate for just an evaluation of his clothes.  
  
Sebastian saw Kurt's lip twist into a devilish grin.  
  
"And I can't for the life of me understand why you don't seem to like clothes that fit properly," Kurt said, staring openly at Sebastian's crotch. "Or do you just think the whole world should know how incredible your cock looks when it's hard?"  
  
Sebastian might have shown a little modesty, might have tugged down the hem of his polo to cover the bulge...if Kurt hadn't said it looked incredible...and if it hadn't sounded like a compliment this time.  
  
It seemed that Kurt had forgotten he was supposed to be cutting Sebastian apart and tossing him aside as he stepped closer and peered up thoughtfully into his face. Kurt shook his head.  
  
"No," he said, almost sincerely, "with your coloring, you should stay away from light colors. They wash you out. You should pick jewel tones...to bring out your eyes..."  
  
Kurt didn't  take a step to move away and Sebastian held his breath. Sapphire eyes stared longingly into emerald, and Sebastian realized that if he hadn't been holding his breath, he and Kurt would be breathing the same air, taking the same breath.  
  
If he leaned in just slightly and pressed his lips against Kurt's, just barely brushing his skin, would he feel fireworks? How would he taste?  
  
Sebastian's lips tingled, itching to find out.  
  
He must have moved because Kurt's snark snapped back into place, and he jerked backward as if burned.  
  
"And don't get me started on your ridiculous..."  
  
Kurt looked down dramatically, preparing to insult Sebastian's shoes, but when he saw the dark navy blue boat shoes, he stopped. His face dropped, and from where Sebastian sat, it looked as though Kurt started trembling.  
  
"Uh," Kurt said, his bottom lip quivering. "I've got to go, I..."  
  
Kurt looked around frantically, as if searching for a way out. His eyes, impossibly wide, looked almost panicked.  
  
Sebastian would have normally tried to find something biting to say about this man's apparent weakness. Defeated by boat shoes...classic.  
  
But watching Kurt, his eyes obviously seeing something that wasn't there, Sebastian's heart melted.  
  
"Kurt?"  
  
Sebastian lowered his, trying a hand at being comforting.  
  
Kurt didn't hear him.  
  
Kurt was locked in a nightmare that he couldn't escape.  
  
Sebastian made a command decision. He grabbed Kurt's hand. With another hand to the small of Kurt's back, he led him quickly to the door. They passed by the two dark men on the way out. They tried to block his path.  
  
"Hey," the first one barked in a strange, almost Mediterranean accent. "He's ours!"  
  
"Fuck off, hobbits!" Sebastian yelled as he swept passed the two with barely a glance and made his way to the exit.  
  
They were out the door and into the cool night air in a matter of minutes. Kurt sucked in a breath, as if he was coming up from a fall in deep water. Kurt's hands shook violently. Sebastian took both of Kurt's hands in his, trying to still their shaking.  
  
God, was his skin soft.  
  
Sebastian swallowed hard.  
  
He couldn't help but wonder if it was that soft everywhere.  
  
Kurt continued to look around, but his movements slowed now, became more controlled, his eyes less manic.  
  
Kurt's breathing returned to normal, his eyes focused.  
  
He noticed his hands locked in Sebastian's.  
  
For a moment he looked at their hands linked together, mouth dropped a bit in awe.  
  
Then the bitch came back, and Kurt ripped his hands from Sebastian's grasp.  
  
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Kurt screamed.  
  
"I...I'm helping you, you prick!" Sebastian retorted, tired of the emotional whiplash.  
  
"Do you know what would 'help me'?" Kurt asked, making exaggerated air quotes with his fingers. "If you would go away and leave me the fuck alone!"  
  
Kurt pushed passed Sebastian, heading back in the bar. Sebastian grabbed Kurt's arm.  
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
"Back to my dates," Kurt said with an all too evil grin as he made a point to emphasize the 's'.  
  
Kurt pulled on his arm, but Sebastian held him tight. He knew he might be hurting the man, but Sebastian couldn't let go. There was a scared man hiding somewhere inside this perfectly poised and put together shell, and Sebastian didn't want to abandon him.  
  
Kurt stopped pulling, glaring up at Sebastian, looking for words he could hurl at him that would hurt.  
  
"Would you please take your hands off my McQueen," Kurt said evenly. "It's worth more than ten of you."  
  
That did it.  
  
Sebastian released his grip with stunning speed.  
  
"Fine." Sebastian clenched his teeth, grinding the words out with a healthy dose of venom.  
  
Kurt looked almost triumphant as Sebastian scowled.  
  
"Whatever," Sebastian barked. "Do what you want, princess. Get fucked and sucked by both those dildos. If you're lucky and they don't rape and murder you, that is."  
  
Kurt, head held high, humorless grin plastered on, marched back into the bar.  
  
Sebastian thought he had him, and not in the 'drag you out back to the alley and suck me off' way. He thought he had actually broken through his armor.  
  
For just a moment, Sebastian had been Kurt's white knight.  
  
Sebastian tried several times to leave, but he couldn't get his feet to move. The farthest he managed to get was about half a block, looking over his shoulder every five seconds to see if he had missed Kurt leave. In the end, he rushed back and took up sentry on the cold curb, his long legs bent uncomfortably at an awkward angle.  
  
He just wanted to make sure Kurt would be okay.  
  
After a while, Sebastian felt like a fool. He had been sitting on the sidewalk for about four hours waiting for the man, when in reality those two curly haired fucks could have been double-teaming Kurt in the bathroom this whole time.  
  
Why did Sebastian even care? Kurt had made it more than clear that he wasn't only uninterested, but physically disgusted by the thought of Sebastian.  
  
Sebastian caved and headed home. The farther he got from the bar, the more he figured his resolve would strengthen, and any thought of getting into Kurt's pants would ebb away. But one thought kept cropping up, imbedding itself into Sebastian's skull, refusing to leave him alone.  
  
He could leave Kurt.  
  
He could never think of him again.  
  
But how many angels do you meet in one lifetime?

* * *

  
  
Kurt had sat at a table, close to the door, watching with interest as Sebastian sat vigil on the sidewalk. Four hours he stayed, shivering in the cold, waiting. For what? Kurt wondered.  
  
More importantly, why? Why was this man sitting outside waiting for him?  
  
Kurt knew it was Monday night, almost Tuesday morning, and Sebastian would need to get up to go to work soon, so why would he stay? Several times, Kurt had actually thought of cutting the poor guy a break, going outside and telling Sebastian that the sex would be awful and that he shouldn't waste his time, but he couldn't. He just couldn't.  
  
Kurt knew that if he went back outside and looked into those beckoning green eyes, so full of sass and fire, he would ask Sebastian to come home with him.

* * *

  
Sebastian rode with Louis in silence the next day, looking out the window as the dusk turned to dawn, and the sky lightened to pale hues of purple and green, and then blue.  
  
Blue like the sea.  
  
Blue like the deep lapis earrings his mom used to love so much.  
  
Blue like spring irises.  
  
But no where near as amazing as Kurt's eyes.  
  
Sebastian sighed.  
  
Talk about beating a dead horse.  
  
Kurt was a slut, Sebastian concluded, who didn't mind fucking anyone as long as it wasn't Sebastian.  
  
Sebastian would just move on.  
  
Sebastian would not let Kurt affect him. He grabbed the express envelopes and the digital pad and breezed towards the door.  
  
 _'Just doing my job,'_ Sebastian affirmed to himself. _'Not a stalker or a creeper. I'm supposed to be here...at 2 p.m....everyday for the rest of my life...maybe longer...'_  
  
Sebastian almost knocked, but stopped himself, fist hovering barely an inch from the door. He flexed his stiff fingers in the air before ringing the doorbell.  
  
"Who is it?" a timid voice answered through the door.  
  
Sebastian sighed.  
  
 _'So he brought those fucks home,'_ he thought. _'Nice. Well, if short and greasy's his type...'_  
  
"Fed-Ex," Sebastian announced, "with a package for Kurt Hummel."  
  
"Can you leave it at the door?" the voice asked quietly.  
  
Sebastian sighed.  
  
 _'Come on, cockslut,'_ Sebastian wailed internally. _'I just want to go home!'_  
  
"Unfortunately, I can't," Sebastian said. "They have to be signed for personally."  
  
Silence.  
  
Sebastian had an already short fuse, and he was well passed the end of it.  
  
"Look, dude. Cut me some slack here. I'm tired. Can you just roll His Royal Highness Kurt Hummel out of bed and get him to sign the little pad here?"  
  
Sebastian shook the digital pad obnoxiously in front of the peep hole.  
  
The voice on the other side of the door sighed. He heard the sound of a lock turn, and the door creaked slowly open.  
  
There stood Kurt, his hair perfectly coiffed, wearing a deep purple dressing gown this time, but his eyes looked tired, lonely.  
  
He reached wordlessly for the pad, and Sebastian handed it over with a smirk.  
  
 _'Must be hung over,'_ he thought triumphantly. _'Probably started doing body shots the minute I left.'_  
  
"I didn't go home with those guys, you know," Kurt said, as if reading Sebastian's thoughts. "We...we didn't do anything."  
  
Kurt handed the machine back and reached out for his packages.  
  
Sebastian was stunned.  
  
"Wh---" Sebastian stuttered, but another tired sigh stopped him.  
  
"I just don't want you thinking I actually did anything with those guys. You were right, you know. I knew it, too." Kurt nodded, not meeting Sebastian's gaze.  
  
Kurt looked almost ashamed.  
  
Sebastian's smirk softened. He wanted to take Kurt in his arms and hug him.  
  
The next words out of his mouth were meant to be reassuring.  
  
They didn't come out that way.  
  
"Why do you care what I think?" Sebastian asked.  
  
 _'Okay, wow,'_ Sebastian thought, mortified. _'That sounded kind of bitchy.'_  
  
Kurt's head snapped up, staring Sebastian down with a glare that lowered the temperature in the air a good forty degrees.  
  
"You're right," he said smugly, his voice thick. "I don't."  
  
Without another word, Kurt slammed the door in Sebastian's face.  
  
Sebastian was sensing a pattern.  
  
He was also beginning to think that he wasn't really good with people.  
  
It had never dawned on him before now to care.  
  
"Fuck me," Sebastian cursed at the closed door. "Brilliant, Seb. Maybe next time you could just pee on him for good measure and completely ruin any chance you might have in the future."  
  
Again, Sebastian was having a problem leaving.  
  
He stared at his black $10 Target clearance shoes, and wanted to moan.  
  
He hated himself right now.  
  
"I'm sorry, Kurt," he whispered at the empty space occupying the threshold, imagining the beautiful man looking at him with adoring, forgiving eyes. "I'm so sorry for everything."  
  
Sebastian turned and hurried down the walk, returning to Louis, the truck, and his messed up life.  
  
Behind the door, Kurt listened to Sebastian's foot steps as he left him. Kurt slid down the door to the floor, dropped his head in his hands, and cried.


	3. Chapter 1

Sebastian returned to the same bar again that night, dressed in a darker shirt and jeans.  
  
_'Jewel tones,'_ Kurt had said, _'to bring out your eyes.'_  
  
His aubergine shirt and indigo pants were the most recent and relevant clothes he owned. No boat shoes this time. He chose instead an unassuming pair of Doc Martens.  
  
He hurried the whole walk to the club and sat at the bar for hours, waiting for Kurt to make an appearance. Close to five hours and two rum and cokes later, Sebastian called it quits.  
  
He didn't see that flawless skin or that perfect chestnut hair. He left a tip for the bartender and headed sullenly home.

* * *

  
The following day Sebastian got to drive the route by himself. That annoyed him because it meant he actually had to do work, not just look out the window and think about Kurt. On the plus side, he finally got a uniform that actually fit, much to Debbie's chagrin.  
  
"I found it under the desk in Debbie's office," Louis told Sebastian conspiratorially as he walked Sebastian out to his truck. Sebastian fumed quietly as he recalled the unnecessary chaffing of the last couple of days.  
  
Sebastian thought he had the route pretty much down, regardless of his lack of attention to anything Louis had told him. It seemed that learning the Fed-Ex route wasn't something he could do by osmosis. Several times he got pathetically lost. Once or twice he ended up at the wrong house. He even dropped something that sounded fragile. Luckily, that particular person wasn't home. He left the package on the door step and hurried quickly away.  
  
It was almost two o'clock, and he was no where near as done as he should have been. He had about eight more packages to deliver before he hit Kurt's house, but he couldn't be late. Not for Kurt. He didn't care that the other fuck ups on his route might get pissed for not getting whatever it was in these square brown boxes on time, but Kurt's letters would be on his doorstep by two o'clock.  
  
Come rain or come shine.  
  
Sebastian bit his own tongue at his corny reference to the old jazz love song.  
  
Sebastian pulled up to Kurt's townhouse with a few minutes to spare. He checked, double checked, and then triple checked the envelopes all addressed to Kurt Hummel to make sure he got every one. Though, Sebastian realized, purposefully forgetting to bring one might give him a reason to return later, but with Kurt's obvious drive for perfection, he might get pissed at Sebastian.  
  
On the other hand, Kurt's getting angry meant he would flash that fiery glare Sebastian's way; the one that journeyed straight to his cock and made his whole body ignite on the inside like fire, or really good tequila.  
  
It might just be worth it.  
  
Maybe tomorrow, he decided.  
  
He carried the envelopes - seven today - and the digital sign pad up to Kurt's door. He took just a second to straighten his shirt and tug on his shorts to release any wrinkles from the fabric before ringing the doorbell.  
  
Kurt opened the door immediately. Part of Sebastian wondered if Kurt had been standing behind the door waiting for him.  
  
Sebastian smiled, a little too eager, a little too wide, showing too many white teeth. He handed over the digital device to Kurt.  
  
Kurt, in an emerald green satin dressing gown with a paler green Burberry collared shirt underneath, accepted it and signed his name. Kurt raised an eyebrow as he handed it back, looking over Sebastian's new uniform.  
  
"Nice," Kurt said, taking his packages and setting them aside. Kurt smirked condescendingly, but at the corners of his eyes lay the hint of a genuine smile. "It's nice to see you found something that fit."  
  
"Thanks," Sebastian said. Kurt nodded, preparing to close the door.  
  
Sebastian didn't want that to be the end of it. Not today. Not when he was here alone.  
  
"Uh..." Sebastian stuttered. Kurt stopped and looked back at him. "I went back last night...to that bar...you weren't there?"  
  
Why it sounded like a question, Sebastian didn't know.  
  
"Obviously," Kurt said, trying to sound detached, but it was hard.  
  
_'He went back looking for me?'_  
  
"Yeah." Sebastian tried desperately to find something to say to keep the conversation going. "And I was just wondering if you, um, just weren't there, or were you somewhere else? Do you have a schedule of bars that you hit on certain days?"  
  
_'Were you trying to avoid me?'_  
  
Sebastian wasn't about to ask a question he was certain he knew the answer to.  
  
Kurt opened his mouth to answer, but then shut it again. He looked at Sebastian with narrow eyes.  
  
"Why are you so eager to know?" Kurt asked, his tone less sarcastic and more wary.  
  
Like he was hiding something.  
  
Or, from the sudden flash of fear in his eyes that lasted barely a second, hiding _from_ something.  
  
"I..." Sebastian found he really didn't have an acceptable answer to that question. His first instinct in the matter of Kurt Hummel had been to fuck the man senseless, to make him speak another language using only the persuasion of his tongue on the pale man's perfect body. Now, Sebastian realized, this man was an enigma to him; a riddle he was eager to unearth.  
  
Truth be told, Sebastian, with all of his cocky confidence and devil-may-care attitude, was pretty lonely.  
  
"I just...I find you interesting."  
  
There. That was as near to the truth as Sebastian was willing to get.  
  
He figured he would save _'I think I have some sort of feelings for you and I daydream about making you breakfast in bed'_ for a later conversation.  
  
Kurt's eyes narrowed further, until Sebastian could only see a faint sparkle on his blue eyes. Sebastian tried his best to keep his expression bright, open, and honest. Kurt tilted his head suspiciously, but decided to answer.  
  
"My trip to that night club is pretty much just a Monday night ritual. I don't go anywhere else."  
  
Sebastian nodded. Kurt didn't explain any further.  
  
"Any particular reason?" Sebastian ventured.  
  
The frightened look was back and then gone again.  
  
"No," Kurt answered quickly. "Why?"  
  
The last part sounded a bit like a demand.  
  
"Uh..." Sebastian was taken back by the change in tone. "Somebody told me that you're a shut-in."  
  
Kurt grimaced.  
  
"Who told you that?"  
  
"My supervisor, Debbie," Sebastian answered, a thrill traveling swiftly up his spine at the realization that he was having as close to a pleasant conversation with Kurt as he had been able to get.  
  
"That fat buffoon," Kurt scoffed.  
  
"Yeah." Sebastian smirked. "My coworker says you made her cry."  
  
Kurt chuckled unrepentantly at the memory, closing his eyes and shaking his head, cheeks blushing just faintly. Sebastian smiled at the sight.  
  
When Kurt opened his eyes to look at Sebastian again, his sapphire eyes weren't angry, or wary. They were warm and glowing.  
  
"What's your name?" Kurt asked with a thoughtful tilt of his head.  
  
"Me?" Sebastian asked in surprise. Kurt rolled his eyes.  
  
"No, the guy behind you. Yes, you."  
  
"Uh...it's Sebastian. Sebastian Smythe."  
  
Sebastian stood dumbstruck for a moment before extending his hand for Kurt to shake. Kurt looked at it for a moment before reaching out and taking Sebastian's hand in his.  
  
There it was. It was probably there the other night when Sebastian had grabbed Kurt's hands in the bar, but he was too anxious to help Kurt to notice.  
  
A spark. A single, solitary burst of electrical energy. It sizzled along Sebastian's arm, and then traveled swiftly throughout his body before settling in his chest, causing his heart to race.  
  
Sebastian saw a change, ever so slight, in Kurt's eyes as they dilated.  
  
Maybe he felt it, too.  
  
"Sebastian," Kurt repeated, letting the name roll around in his mouth in a strange way, as if he was trying to understand it.  
  
"Revered," he quietly whispered.  
  
Sebastian's eyes went wide.  
  
"Wh-what?"  
  
"Sebastian. It's Greek. It means 'revered'," Kurt explained. "Sebastian was also Viola's twin brother in Shakespeare's 'Twelfth Night'."  
  
Sebastian nodded, stunned.  
  
"As well," Kurt continued, "St. Sebastian is the patron saint of soldiers."  
  
Kurt swallowed thickly.  
  
Sebastian would never think of his own name the same way again.  
  
"Sebastian," Kurt said once more. "It's nice to meet you, Sebastian."  
  
Just then, Sebastian realized he was still holding Kurt's hand, and Kurt was rubbing the back of his hand with his thumb in small, soothing circles that shot bolts of electricity up Sebastian's arm with each delicate pass.  
  
Sebastian's breathing stuttered.  
  
"It's nice to meet you, too," Sebastian said. "Officially, that is."  
  
At that moment, Kurt noticed their hands, linked far longer than socially acceptable. He pulled his hand swiftly away. Sebastian couldn't bring his hand to move, to leave the open air where it hung, hoping for Kurt's hand to return.  
  
"Uh...I wish I knew what Kurt meant."  
  
Kurt noticed Sebastian's still outstretched hand and giggled.  
  
"It means 'rhymes with Burt'. That's my dad's name."  
  
Kurt's face went blank then, his mouth forming a small 'o' as if he realized he had just made a mistake.  
  
"I have to go," Kurt said quickly. "Good-bye, Sebastian."  
  
Kurt was about to disappear again.  
  
Sebastian panicked.  
  
"That's a nice color on you," Sebastian called quickly.  
  
Kurt froze, his hand on the edge of the door.  
  
"That green." Sebastian peeked around the door for one final glimpse of Kurt's face. "It's beautiful on you."  
  
He heard Kurt's voice catch in his throat.  
  
"It's beautiful on you, too," he heard Kurt say quietly before the door creaked slowly shut.  
  
Sebastian breathed in deeply, sucking in a sufficient amount of air for the first time since he had first smiled at Kurt. He turned, his knees wobbling a bit as he made his way down the walk. He thought over their conversation, everything Kurt said, especially about his name.  
  
Revered.  
  
It sounded so different when Kurt said it than when his dad had last used it.  
  
Like it was a curse word.  
  
Like he was useless.  
  
Like he was nothing.  
  
Then he remembered what Kurt said before he shut the door.  
  
_'It's beautiful on you, too.'_  
  
Sebastian suddenly realized - the dressing gown, in emerald green...the exact same shade as Sebastian's eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for masturbation and fantasizing...

Sebastian finished his route almost an hour late, but nobody seemed to mind. Either they were giving him slack for being the newbie, or nobody really cared when they got their packages or not. Either way, he was happy when he turned in his keys and his digital pad for the day and could head for home.

He took a detour to hit up the library. Sebastian didn't have a phone or a computer at his apartment, and there was something he was extremely curious about. The computer lab charged a quarter for every five minutes of computer time, but since Sebastian was charming, handsome, and broke as a joke, he was able to convince the middle aged librarian to let him jump on for one minute.

He raced to the computer, not wanting to waste any time, opened up a browser window, and Googled "meaning of the name Kurt".

"The name Kurt is German in origin, and means 'courageous advice'. It is also English in origin and means 'bold counsel'."

Sebastian smiled. He wondered if Kurt really didn't know the origins of his own name, or was there some reason he didn't want to tell him.

He took a slip of paper from a notepad beside the computer station and a tiny golf pencil and wrote down the definition quickly. He looked it over, and then took a second piece of paper, writing the information over again but this time making sure that his handwriting was as neat and legible as he could make it. He folded both pieces of paper, stowed them safely away in his pocket, and then left, hoping to make it to the bus stop before the bus came. If he missed it, he would have to wait another hour for the next one. He was eager to be home, alone with his thoughts.

Sebastian took a shower. The hot water hadn't completely returned, but at least he had enough warm water to thoroughly wash his body and hair.

He threw on only a pair of boxer briefs because ironically even though he could barely get a lick of hot water in his studio apartment, the heater was constantly going into overdrive. His first night in his apartment he put on a pair of sweats before sliding under his comforter. He woke up in the middle of the night sweating bullets. By the morning he had sweat so much, he assumed he was at least five pounds lighter.

He lay above his heavy blanket and looked at the slip of paper from the library.

"Kurt...courageous advice."

Sebastian could definitely see it - those fiery blue eyes that changed color from calm to storm in seconds, that determined chin, the strong jaw. He had only known Kurt a couple of days, but he had definitely proven that he was a force to be reckoned with.

There also seemed to be another, completely different side to Kurt. One that rarely left his house, liked things neat and in its place. The Kurt that had that strange panic attack in the bar when he looked at Sebastian's shoes. The one that didn't want Sebastian to think he was cheap and easy.

The one that complimented Sebastian on the color of his eyes, even going so far as to wrap himself in it.

Sebastian closed his eyes to chase the image of Kurt in that emerald green satin robe, the same shade as Sebastian's eyes.

Did Kurt wear it on purpose? He had to have. How could that be a coincidence?

Kurt seemed to be giving Sebastian signs; subtle ones, but still.

Sebastian imagined that Kurt was a hopeless romantic.

Kurt wasn't the kind of man that Sebastian could just pick up at a bar and bend over the bathroom sink for a quickie.

Kurt needed to be wooed. He deserved to be wooed.

He imagined taking Kurt out to dinner, buying him flowers, going to the movies together, and holding hands.

Those perfect, soft hands - so pale and flawless; long, thin fingers interlaced so perfectly with his. Sebastian rubbed his fingers together, trying to recall the feeling of Kurt's hands when he had touched them.

Sebastian would walk Kurt to his door. Sebastian could see Kurt perfectly in his mind, dressed impeccably in another McQueen creation, porcelain skin glowing in the moonlight. Kurt would smile at him, trying to find something else to say, not eager for the night to end. Sebastian would brush a lock of hair off of Kurt's forehead, just an excuse to brush his fingertips across his smooth skin. He would continue the trail of his fingertips down Kurt's cheek, tracing along the contours of his pink lips, a slight flush of color warming his cheeks as he ducked his head demurely.

Sebastian would cup Kurt's cheek with his hand, pleading silently for Kurt to lift his eyes. His gaze would flick over Kurt's lips, pursed sweetly in anticipation since Kurt would know what Sebastian was quietly asking.

Sebastian could feel Kurt's breath ghosting over his lips as he inched closer, spiraling into the depths of his cyan eyes.

Sebastian's whole body burned as he tried to imagine what Kurt's lips would feel like touching his. If Kurt's lips were anywhere near as soft as his hands, kissing Kurt would be heaven. That first touch of lips, just a gentle brush of skin against skin, would send sparks flying between them; he just knew it.

Sebastian's cock twitched in his boxer briefs as he remembered the sensation of electricity crackling across his skin when Kurt rubbed his thumb along the back of Sebastian's hand. Sebastian would kiss Kurt tenderly, pulling his lower lip between his teeth and nibbling gently.

Kurt would gasp, holding onto Sebastian as he moved to deepen the kiss.

With his eyes closed, Sebastian couldn't stop his hand as it blazed a trail from his own lips, over his neck, down along his chest, reaching slowly into his boxer briefs and wrapping his fingers around his cock, which continued to grow harder as he held himself.

Sebastian stroked himself slowly, enjoying the slow drag of his own skin as he worked over his cock, the vivid image of taking Kurt into his arms and holding him tight against him making his body ache. He would gather Kurt up in his arms, hearing Kurt giggle against his lips as he carried him over the threshold and upstairs to the bedroom.

Sebastian figured a man with Kurt's incredible fashion sense would have a stylish and modern bedroom, with walls painted a pale Dior gray, and hardwood floors, maybe even a four poster bed draped in sheer fabric on all sides.

Of course, it wouldn't matter if Kurt's bedroom was simply a mattress on the carpet in the middle of a room with four plain walls. As long as the two of them were together, bodies pressed against one another, heat feeding off of heat as they moved in unison, then the moment the two of them gave themselves to each other would be magic.

Sebastian would lay Kurt down gently, undress him slowly, unwrapping him reverently like a gift.

The slow rhythm of Sebastian's hand began to quicken, and he arched his body off the mattress, as if searching for another body to press against and make him complete.

The sound of Kurt moaning would be musical and airy, like the light sighing of the wind. He would hold him down gently, worshipping him with his tongue, feeling the definition of Kurt's muscles, following the lines of his abs as they dipped and curved beneath his milky skin.

Sebastian bucked into his hand, putting a fist to his open mouth to muffle his own moaning.

Sebastian wouldn't take Kurt on his hands and knees as he had so many nameless, faceless one night stands. He would enter Kurt gently, look deep into his eyes, watch his lips quiver endearingly. He would hold him close, kiss softly down the column of his neck, whisper sweetly in his ear, tell him all of the hidden things he shouldn't be feeling after three days of nothing but sarcastic banter, one failed attempt at a quickie in a bar, and a moment where the gentle touch of fingertips was enough to stop Sebastian's heart and burn the memory of Kurt's skin onto Sebastian's forever.

Sweat started to bead along Sebastian's hairline as he gave up moving his hand over his cock and instead began bucking his hips feverishly into his fist. He bit down hard on the hand in his mouth, feeling the tingle of pain sweep over his skin.

Kurt would writhe beneath him, grabbing at Sebastian's broad shoulders, digging his nails into his skin, and Sebastian would take it. Take whatever Kurt had to give him. Pain, pleasure, it wouldn't matter, as long as Sebastian could have him.

Sebastian would feel Kurt tremble, muscles twitching, failing as his orgasm started to wash over him, and Sebastian would be strong for him, coaxing him to cum - and if there was a God anywhere in the heavens that liked Sebastian even just a little bit - more than once, with Sebastian's name on his lips.

Because right now, Sebastian was cumming, and he moaned long and loud around the fist in his mouth, a sound that was undeniably Kurt's name.

Sebastian felt sated, warm and loved, still lost in a daydream where Kurt had flipped them over, laying his body over Sebastian's, and had wrapped them together in the blanket off his bed. Content and breathless, he would lay in the safety of Sebastian's arms, where the nightmares couldn't touch him, and nothing in the world would matter but the warmth in the air, and the lovers drifting to sleep in each other's arms.

Sebastian smiled, happy for the first time in months, until he opened his eyes and found himself alone. Pathetic and alone.

He sighed.

He cleaned himself up quickly, trying not to acknowledge what he had just done. He didn't bother putting his boxer briefs back on as he lay on his stomach on the bed, hugged his pillow against him, and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Sebastian sat in his truck outside of Kurt's house, dreading seeing him. He was embarrassed, flushing red without even seeing the man, reliving his vivid masturbatory fantasy in his head as he looked at the pale yellow house with its white shutters, looking so much like a gingerbread house in style and form that it actually made Sebastian's teeth ache. He was sure that the minute Kurt looked into Sebastian's face, he would know, know that he had dreamt of making love to him; dreamt of kissing his smooth, angelic skin; dreamt of making him cum over and over.

Sebastian groaned, willing the dream away just long enough to make it to the door, deliver the envelopes, and make it back to the truck with his dignity intact.

Sebastian grabbed up the envelopes and his digital device and made his way to the door, marching like he was storming a beach, prepared to confront the enemy. Before he made it even halfway there, the door swung open and there stood Kurt, dressed in red skinny jeans and a matching Marc Jacobs button down shirt, tight and tailored with a black vest over it.

Devil dressed in red, Sebastian thought. Good Lord!

Suddenly, the sweet daydream of the previous evening changed to one where Kurt was riding Sebastian's cock, mercilessly driving himself up and down, throwing his head back, sweaty hair plastered to his overheated skin as he dug his nails into Sebastian's chest, marking him deliciously.

Sebastian almost tripped over his own feet.

No more dressing gowns. Kurt looked dressed to kill.

But it was only two in the afternoon.

Was he going out somewhere?

Or was there a chance that Kurt had actually dressed like this for him?

Sebastian couldn't think about it, or he'd have another embarrassing hard-on on his hands.

"Uh, I have your packages," Sebastian stuttered, handing Kurt the digital signing pad and stylus, trying to look anywhere but at this man dressed in that sinful outfit.

Kurt took it, signing quickly, and handing the machine back to him, holding out his hands to wait for his envelopes.

Sebastian tried, but he couldn't look into Kurt's eyes. In his mind, Sebastian had made love to Kurt, and he couldn't make the feeling go away, couldn't keep his heart from beating so fast he was sure Kurt could hear it. When he finally did manage to peek up through the fan of his lashes, he noticed that Kurt seemed to be having a similar problem looking at him.

The sideways dart of Kurt's usually fire filled eyes. The way he tried not to touch Sebastian's hands as he handed him the envelopes. The immediate blush to Kurt's pale cheeks when Sebastian's fingertips accidentally brushed Kurt's hand.

 _'Holy shit!'_ Sebastian thought, and silently crowed.

Sebastian felt a grin forming on his face, but not his usual cocky one. This one was shy, bashful.

Kurt busied himself for a moment setting his envelopes down, and then turned back to Sebastian expectantly. Sebastian let an awkward quiet fall between them as Kurt stood, waiting.

Kurt looked up into Sebastian's flushed face, his sheepish smile lighting his green eyes.

Kurt laughed, an unexpected sound that shocked Sebastian into laughing himself. Kurt dropped his head into his hands and shook his head.

"Uh, thanks for the packages," Kurt said, snickering adolescently. He raised his face to look up at the ceiling. Sebastian caught a glimpse of the column of Kurt's neck, and the pulse beating like a drum right below his jawline.

Sebastian held his breath.

He wanted so much to press a kiss to that spot.

Kurt looked back at Sebastian, his eyes shimmering.

"Any time," Sebastian said, saluting comically before turning to walk away.

Sebastian took a few steps before he remembered the slip of paper burning a hole in his pocket.

"Oh!" he said, spinning around and making his way back to Kurt. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the slip of paper. He handed it to Kurt, who took it delicately between two fingers.

"What is this?" Kurt had a surprised expression on his face.

"It's your name." Sebastian gestured to the folded paper. He smiled again and walked away.

Kurt opened the folded paper in his hand carefully. He read the words Sebastian had written. The meaning of his name.

Kurt felt a lump form in his chest.

"Uh, Sebastian?" Kurt called before he had reached the gate.

Sebastian turned to look Kurt's way. Kurt waved him back over. Sebastian raised an eyebrow, then jogged back down the walk, eager for any reason to stay.

"Why did you do this?" Kurt asked.

Sebastian shrugged.

"Because, I thought you should know how special your name is," Sebastian said without a thought. "You did the same for me."

Sebastian watched as Kurt reread the tiny note over and over again, following Kurt's eyes as they drifted repeatedly over the paper.

Kurt looked up suddenly, just as Sebastian had turned to leave.

"What are you doing tomorrow night?" Kurt asked quickly.

Sebastian couldn't believe what he had heard Kurt say.

"Uh...excuse me?" Sebastian needed clarification.

"Tomorrow night," Kurt repeated. "Do you have plans?"

Sebastian felt that shy smile returning.

"Uh, no," he said. "I happen to be free tomorrow night."

 _'And any other night for the rest of my life,'_ his mind supplied.

"Great," Kurt said. "Do you...maybe...want to get a drink...with me?"

Sebastian couldn't believe what he was hearing. He was in such a state of shock, he almost didn't answer.

Kurt cleared his throat.

"Uh, yes! Yes, of course! That would be great," Sebastian said, a little too eagerly.

Kurt giggled.

Sebastian sighed at the sound.

"Well, we'll iron the details out tomorrow," Kurt said, stepping back behind his door. He kept an eye on Sebastian's face as he slowly closed the door.

Sebastian heard the door click shut. The subtle sound snapped him out of his stupor. He turned and walked back to his truck, bouncing a bit with each step.

He couldn't believe it. He had a date with Kurt.

Then the reality of his life crashed down on him, and he went cold.

_'Holy shit! I have a date with Kurt!'_

* * *

Kurt turned, letting out a deep sigh. He had practiced those words over and over again. They sounded nothing like what actually came out of his mouth when the time came. Kurt looked at the paper in his hands and smiled. He ran up the stairs to his bedroom, and fixed the tiny slip of paper securely into the frame of his mirror, so he could look at it every morning. Then he carefully undressed and stepped into the bathroom for his third cold shower of the day.


	5. Chapter 5

Sebastian woke an hour early for work. He showered and prepped meticulously, spending at least thirty minutes fixing his hair. Since he had no choice on what to wear, he made certain that his uniform was clean and wrinkle free, his black shoes polished, and for good measure, he splashed on his favorite Hugo Boss cologne. He realized, with a certain amount of irony, that the last time he worked this hard to look good in a uniform were during his Dalton Academy days.  
  
God, did he ever think back then that this was where he would be now?  
  
He shrugged off the thought as soon as it popped into his head. He wouldn't allow self-pity to push him down, not today.  
  
Tonight, he had a date with Kurt.  
  
After he had come to terms with the shock of Kurt asking him out for a drink, Sebastian began to relax. Sure, they hadn't gotten off to a fantastic start when they first met. Kurt had torn him down royally about his fashion sense, and called him a wannabe. But Kurt knew what Sebastian was. Kurt knew he worked for Fed-Ex. So, learning that he was barely getting by and living in the smallest studio apartment known to man would not be a surprise for him.   
  
Sebastian didn't think Kurt expected him to be a closet millionaire, working this crappy job for life experience. He wouldn't expect much from him.  
  
Besides, Kurt had asked _him_ out for a drink.  
  
Yes, today would be classified as one of those rare good days. He'd get paid, and even though he already knew his paycheck wouldn't amount to that much, after he socked away what he needed to save up for rent and to purchase food, he could make one luxury purchase, and he already knew what that purchase was going to be.   
  
A cell phone.   
  
Not an over the top iPhone or anything too cutting egde. Just the average, run of the mill, pay by the month phone. He did happen to find one with an Android operating system that was well within his budget. This way he wouldn't have to stop at the library every time he needed to use the Internet.  
  
Most importantly, though, he would have a reason to ask Kurt for his phone number.  
  
Sebastian whistled as he walked into work, even dancing a step or two as he breezed by Debbie's desk to get his truck keys and his digital pad, dodging Louis with a bright smile along the way.  
  
"Well, well, well," Debbie drawled as he watched the tall man get ready for the day with an attitude she had yet to see, even during his interview. "Who got into you last night?"  
  
Sebastian smirked as he gathered up the last of his things, winking, but not otherwise acknowledging the suggestive remark.  
  
Louis, however, couldn't just let the matter lie.  
  
"If I had to venture a guess," he said, his accent thicker than normal as his mouth rolled over the words, "I would say it was that guy on his route. Kurt Hummel."  
  
Sebastian stopped cold, his body turned toward the door with the two of them behind him. He heard Debbie gasp, almost in horror.  
  
"You mean, that frigid asshole that hates everybody?" Debbie sounded almost amused. Sebastian, however, was not. He was beginning to take offense to how everyone kept referring to his Kurt as an asshole. He was about to turn around and make a patented Sebastian Smythe cutting remark, when another thought hit him.   
  
What if dating customers was against some rule?  
  
Debbie had given him a book of rules and responsibilities, but he would be damned if he would actually read it. All the heat drained from his body. It had never dawned on him for a second that seeing someone on his route might be against some sort of company policy.  
  
Sebastian wanted to say something smooth. If nothing, Sebastian had always been quick on his feet in a crisis. He could for sure come up with some kind of easy lie..  
  
He didn't want to lie about Kurt, though. He didn't want to belittle something that could turn out to be wonderful by covering it up with lies. He'd rather lose his job.  
  
He turned around slowly, preparing to plead his case, only to be met by teasing grins.  
  
"Well, I...you know..."  
  
Louis chuckled behind his hand at the look on Sebastian's red face. Debbie waved him away as she reached into her desk drawer.  
  
"Look, Smythe," she said as she rummaged around the drawers contents with thick fingers, "no body cares what you do as long as we don't get any complaints and the truck's back by five."  
  
Sebastian smiled, slightly embarrassed but recovering quickly as he headed for the door.  
  
"But," Debbie said, the tone in her voice calling him back to her desk, "if you guys decide to, you know, do anything kinky, and you get it on film..." She held out a business card which for some reason Sebastian took, "my email address is on the bottom."  
  
She winked at him suggestively before shooing him away with a wave of her hand.  
  
Sebastian rolled his eyes, pocketing the business card for looks, and hurried out to his truck.  
  
The day went by quickly. Sebastian felt more secure with his route, though after the debacle of his first day, he would have to do something astronomical in comparison in order to be worse.  
  
He was running nearly thirty minutes early when he arrived at Kurt's house. He parked out front and cut the engine. He gathered up the envelopes, checking each one twice to be sure he got the right ones, grabbed his digital pad, and hurried to the front door.  
  
Sebastian rang the bell and waited. When Kurt didn't open the door he rang the bell again. Sebastian tapped his foot nervously while he waited. He put an ear up close to the door and listened, but he couldn't hear anything on the other side. Sebastian started to get annoyed, which was traditionally his first instinct when he felt like he had been stood up, though the concept was mostly foreign to him. To his memory, Sebastian Smythe had never really been stood up.  
  
Sebastian took a deep breath, deciding to shove away any feelings of rejection and 'what if he didn't really mean to ask me out and is now regretting it after having the night to sleep on it and realizing I'm just a minimum wage slob', and think rationally.  
  
First of all, he had arrived early. He knew nothing about Kurt's day to day schedule. He knew that Kurt's letters needed to be at the house at 2 p.m., but what if he had an appointment somewhere beforehand? Sebastian wouldn't know.   
  
Sebastian looked at his watch. It said a quarter to two.  
  
Sebastian looked at the thick, wooden door, as if it would have an answer. Sebastian reached out slowly to touch the door. He hadn't ever put a finger on it before. Twice he came close to knocking, but always stopped just in time to keep from incurring Kurt's wrath. With gentle fingertips, he ran the pads of his fingers down the smooth wood. The sensation was a little more sensual than he had bargained for, but he let his fingers continue the trip down to the doorknob. He turned it experimentally and found that it was locked.  
  
Sebastian sighed. He weighed his options. He could sit on the stoop till two o'clock rolled around and see what happened. He half expected that if he did, Kurt would magically materialize from behind the door. Or, he could leave, put a Post-It note on the door saying he tried to deliver the packages, and no one was home. Since they had to be signed for, he couldn't just leave them there.   
  
He had to wait till two o'clock no matter what, so he looked around to find a place to sit.   
  
A muffled noise caught his attention.   
  
It sounded like a strange, syncopated thud. He heard it...and then about half a minute later, he heard it again. After the third time, it was followed by a strained, "I'm coming," as Kurt's airy voice made it's way through the door to Sebastian's ears.  
  
Sebastian felt relief rush through his body. He bounced a little on the balls of his feet. In the deep recesses of his mind, the Sebastian Smythe from his high school days was sneering at the man he was now, ridiculously giddy as he waited for Kurt to answer the door. Right now, he couldn't care what his old self thought, though he decided to stop the bouncing since it did make him look like a dork.   
  
Kurt opened the door slowly. The first thing Sebastian saw were two pale hands clutching the edge of the dark wood. When Kurt emerged, Sebastian's heart fell. Kurt looked tired, purple rings beneath slightly puffy eyes. His arms trembled as they fought to hold him up. Sebastian looked him up and down. His hair, still perfectly coifed, clashed oddly with the rest of his appearance. He had dressed way down in a baggy gray sweat shirt and sweat pants. Sebastian smirked when he noticed, however, that his ratty looking sweats were designer. Sebastian's eyes swept down to where Kurt had one leg bent slightly, a bulky looking cast covering his right foot.  
  
"Oh, Kurt!" Sebastian cried when he saw the injury.  
  
"I'm sorry it took me so long to get to the door," Kurt slurred. "I kind of had an accident."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
Kurt shook his head minutely, as if it hurt too much to talk. He opened the door wide. He hopped awkwardly, turning in a complete circle. Grabbing on to furniture along the way, he half hopped/half limped to the sofa. Sebastian stared at the open door for a moment before fixing his eyes on Kurt, who had settled uncomfortably on a Victorian double-end sofa, an eclectic piece of furniture, which was there for style more than for comfort. Kurt sighed and closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the scrolled mahogany, sinking into the stiff, striped, ivory jacquard upholstery.   
  
Sebastian watched Kurt trying so hard to relax. He felt helpless. He had no idea what to do.  
  
Kurt lifted one eyelid comically, looking at Sebastian standing in the doorway.  
  
"I'm really not looking forward to flies in my house, so can you please close the door after you come in," Kurt mumbled.  
  
Realizing that was Kurt's version of an invitation, Sebastian carefully removed his shoes and stepped inside. He moved his shoes out of doorway and closed the door, leaving them outside. Kurt smirked.  
  
"You didn't have to do that." Kurt's eyelids fluttered closed again.  
  
"It's okay," Sebastian said, setting Kurt's packages and his digital pad on a small, circular table just inside the door. "They didn't deserve to come in anyway."  
  
Kurt giggled, and then snorted cutely.  
  
"You put your shoes on time out," Kurt laughed.  
  
Sebastian couldn't help smiling.  
  
Sebastian took a moment to look around the room. The living room space flowed immediately into an adjoining dining room. Both were the epitome of shabby chic. The mismatched pieces - the Victorian sofa, the arts and crafts themed dresser, the Renaissance style end tables, the various flea market style chairs seated around a 60's era card table, all made to look as if they had been thrown haphazardly together in a manner that screamed meticulous searching of thrift stores and carefully considered planning before each purchase. Muted color schemes brought the peculiar pieces together in a single unified theme - a sponged mossy green in the living room, a color washed light blue in the dining room. Framed lithographs littered the walls  - larger frames paired beside a hodge-podge of various smaller sized frames, each one housing either a full picture, or just a specific portion of a painting or photograph.   
  
One frame housed a full reproduction of Dali's 'The Swallow's Tail'. Sebastian remembered this painting from a bullshit elective class he had taken at Dalton. It was the last of a series of paintings based on catastrophe theory. Sebastian remembered it only because of its musical element - the gentle curves of a cello - an instrument his mother loved to play.   
  
This painting also happened to be Dali's last.  
  
Another frame held a small square of aged parchment, with words written in the same flowery hand as the sign on the door. The parchment read, "Drink to me, drink to my health, you know I can't drink any more. - Pablo Picasso, 1973." Kurt had made this himself. He had probably aged the paper by hand as well. Sebastian had never heard the words before, but he knew their possible significance. Picasso had died in 1973.  
  
The first and final pages of a manuscript hung from an opposite wall. Sebastian examined them carefully. The two pages sitting side by side were reproductions from the original score written in Mozart's own hand - his Requiem Mass - unfinished after Mozart's death, though completed later on by another composer.   
  
Sebastian swallowed hard. He took a look at the pieces as a whole.  
  
A black and white image of a tiger swallowtail butterfly, alight on a calla lily. An Ansel Adams photograph of a stark, bare tree in winter. A framed copy of a letter from Van Gogh to his brother Theo - the last letter he wrote to his brother before his death. An original painting of a Mexican sugar skull. A sepia photograph of the exterior of an adobe church, a crumbling shell with nothing left but the the outer structure and a cross.  
  
Image after image, all spiraling in Sebastian's head as individual parts, and then finally all tying together with a single common thread. In their own way, each image had something to do with death.  
  
Two images on the wall stood out among the rest. Sebastian was sure they fit the theme but he didn't know how. They hung side by side on the wall opposite the couch, presumably so that Kurt could look at them every time he sat down. The first was a Bible quote that Sebastian had heard a few times before, sometimes referred to as The Song of Ruth: "Entreat me not to leave you, or to return from following after you: for where you go, I will go; and where you lodge, I will lodge: your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die, will I die, and there will I be buried: the LORD do so to me, and more also, if anything but death parts you and me."  
  
The second was a photograph of a beautiful woman, young and fresh faced, with dark hair, pale skin, high cheekbones, and a small bow shaped mouth. It was a black and white photograph, but the wide, smiling eyes were tinted a spectacular shade of ice blue.   
  
The woman bore a remarkable resemblance to Kurt.  
  
"My mother." Sebastian heard the voice and turned, ducking his head a little, feeling a bit like he had just violated Kurt's privacy by looking at his pictures, even though they were hanging on the walls in plain view. "She died when I was little."  
  
Sebastian's breath hitched in his throat.  
  
"I'm sorry." Sebastian looked back at the photograph of the happy woman, staring almost at the two of them as they gazed back at her. Sebastian wondered if this photo was taken before or after Kurt was born.  
  
"She's beautiful," Sebastian remarked. Kurt smiled and nodded.   
  
"You look just like her," Sebastian said quietly, not missing the fact that he had, in a round about way, just called Kurt beautiful.  
  
Kurt's smile faltered, but he blushed all the same.  
  
Sebastian breathed unsteadily. He pointed to the quote in the next frame.  
  
"A quote from the Bible," Sebastian observed. "Do you believe in God?"  
  
Sebastian wanted to take the words back right as he said them. It was an extremely personal question, and he wasn't sure why he asked it that way. Most people would ask if Kurt was religious, or a Christian, but some people were very private about their relationship with God.  
  
Apparently not Kurt.  
  
"No," he said firmly, resting his head back on the couch and closing his eyes again.  
  
Sebastian felt an unnerving quiet press in on him. Snapping from his thoughts of the strange images on the walls and their possible connection, he suddenly remembered Kurt's injury.  
  
"Kurt?" Sebastian said, taking a seat beside him. "What happened to your leg?"  
  
Kurt's eyes opened, and he regarded Sebastian with a sad expression.  
  
"I don't really know," Kurt said. "It was bizarre. I was out for my morning run, when out of the blue, some other jogger tripped over me."  
  
Sebastian looked confused.  
  
"So, it was an accident?" Sebastian said.  
  
"Yeah," Kurt replied slowly, though the look on his face said he wasn't very sure. Sebastian suspected that his doctor had given him some powerful painkillers. Kurt seemed a little unfocused, drifting in and out of whether he wanted to be awake or asleep.  
  
"I'm sorry," Kurt said, opening his bleary eyes to look at Sebastian. "I don't think I'm being a very good host right now. I guess this kind of kills going out later, huh?"  
  
Sebastian watched as Kurt put his head in his hands and groaned. Going out had actually been the last thing on Sebastian's mind. There was no way he wanted to leave Kurt alone like this.  
  
"Look," Sebastian said, leaning in to Kurt with the sincerest smile he could manage. "I'll tell you what. Let me finish my shift and come back later. I'll make you dinner. We can sit and talk. No big deal."  
  
Kurt sighed.  
  
"You don't have to do that, Sebastian," Kurt said.   
  
"You're right," Sebastian agreed. "I don't have to."  
  
Kurt opened his eyes again, his expression almost incredulous.   
  
"I want to, Kurt." Sebastian took Kurt's hands in his, holding them gently, taking advantage of this opportunity to run his fingers over the soft skin. "I want to get to know you, so let me come back and help you."  
  
Kurt's eyes narrowed a bit, that icy look of suspicion from a few days ago returning momentarily. Those icy blue eyes, transforming to that no-nonsense gray that usually came with a biting remark or put down. But the remark never came. The eyes never changed. Kurt smiled, his face lighting up, his pale skin glowing.  
  
"Yes," Kurt said. "Please. I would like that."  
  
Sebastian squeezed Kurt's hands gently.  
  
"Okay," Sebastian said. "Great!"  
  
"But don't worry about dinner," Kurt said. "I made a lasagna yesterday and froze it for the weekend. I'm sure Friday is weekend enough to break it out."  
  
Sebastian silently breathed a sigh of relief, since the last thing he remembered cooking gave two people food poisoning. If he was going to woo Kurt properly, he might want to learn how to cook.  
  
"Sounds great," Sebastian reiterated. In his excitement, Sebastian reacted, raising Kurt's hands to his lips and kissing them softly. Sebastian stopped mid-kiss, looking up with apprehensive eyes to gauge Kurt's reaction. Kurt stared at Sebastian's lips where they rested against his skin, Sebastian's warm breath ghosting lightly over his knuckles as he breathed in and out.   
  
Sebastian's lips against Kurt's skin felt sweeter than Kurt dreamed they would.   
  
Sebastian didn't want to let go of Kurt's hands. He didn't want to leave, especially when Kurt was looking at him like he had just given him the moon.  
  
"I'll be back in a few hours," he said softly, returning Kurt's hands to his lap.  
  
He had to keep telling himself that in order to get up off the sofa and over to the door, where he saw the stack of envelopes and the digital pad.  
  
"Oh, right." Sebastian remembered he needed Kurt to sign for his envelopes. "I need you..."  
  
Sebastian turned back to the sofa to see Kurt, fast asleep.  
  
Sebastian looked around. In the far corner of the room sat an old upright piano. On the stool, he saw a folded blanket and a pillow. Sebastian wondered if Kurt had brought these down earlier, expecting to camp out on the couch. It didn't seem likely considering how awkward the sofa was to sit on, not to mention sleep on. But for now, it would have to do. Sebastian gathered up the pillow and blanket and brought them back to the couch. He gently lifted Kurt's head and slipped the pillow beneath his neck and head. Then he covered Kurt with the blanket. Sebastian ran his hand over the end of it. It was handmade, old and worn. It smelled faintly like roses, but not fresh roses. More like the lingering scent of an old perfume.   
  
Sebastian stepped back and looked at Kurt, sitting upright and sleeping soundly, his face calm, his lips pursed.   
  
Sebastian wanted to kiss those lips so badly that he had to force himself to back away in order to keep from doing it, keep from pressing his lips against Kurt's.  
  
 _'I'll be back in a few hours...I'll be back in a few hours...'_  
  
Sebastian left the packages by the door. He entered a code on the delivery pad to indicate the packages had been delivered to their intended recipient, but a signature could not be attained. He was actually surprised that he even remembered that code since he was more than sure he hadn't been paying any attention when they went over it.  
  
He didn't know what he was going to do about locking Kurt's door. He didn't want to wake Kurt, and he didn't want to leave the door unlocked. He saw Kurt's keys hanging on a hook in the entryway. He really didn't want to take Kurt's keys, but he had no choice. He pulled out a post-it from the pad in his pocket and scribbled a note telling Kurt that he had borrowed his keys so he could lock up the house, and that he would be back in a few hours.  
  
Sebastian walked out the door, closing it slowly so that he could take a last longing look at Kurt. He locked the door, and pocketed the keys. He rushed back to his truck so he could turn in his truck and head home.  
  
The faster he got home, the faster he could get back to Kurt.


	6. Chapter 6

Sebastian got back to the lot, parked the truck, and got his stuff from his locker in record time. Louis watched the determined young man gather his things with a look of deep concentration on his face, almost like he was scrolling through a mental checklist.  
  
"Hey, buddy," Louis asked. "Why so serious?"  
  
Sebastian looked up at the sound of the older man's voice. He hadn't even realized anyone else was in the room. He looked at him, wondering if he should even bother to respond.  
  
"There's somewhere I need to be, but I have about a million things to do, and unfortunately I'm busing it, so I really need to get out of here."  
  
Louis nodded, chewing on the inside of his cheek. He was pretty sure that wherever Sebastian had to be, it had something to do with that stuck up, angry guy that had suddenly seem to become the center of this man's world.  
  
Falling in love in five days. Louis chuckled to himself. Ah, to be young again.  
  
Sebastian pocketed the paycheck he got earlier, checked his pocket for the umpteenth time to be sure he still had Kurt's keys, and slammed his locker door shut.  
  
"Why don't you let me help you," Louis offered. Sebastian looked up, a skeptical expression clouding his green eyes.  
  
"How do you mean?"  
  
"Well, my wife's kind of being a bitch today," Louis started, picking up his coat and shrugging it on. "To tell you the truth, I'm kinda looking for any excuse not to go home."  
  
Sebastian listened carefully, watching the man for any sign of an ulterior motive.  
  
"If I go to a bar and sit this one out," Louis continued, grabbing his keys and stuffing them into his pockets, "it'll just make things worse. So, let me help you with your million things."  
  
Sebastian didn't want to take Louis up on his offer. He didn't want to have to owe him a favor. He wasn't used to people offering him any kind of help without expecting anything in return.  
  
Louis looked at Sebastian, waiting patiently for the man to accept his offer. In the end, Sebastian had to admit that if he had a car of his own, he could be done with his errands and back at Kurt's in a little less than two hours. He didn't want to think about how long it was going to take him by bus.  
  
Sebastian softened. Maybe this guy wasn't half bad.  
  
"Thank you," Sebastian said, taking him up on his offer. "I could really use the help."  
  
The one thing Sebastian hated most about being poor was having to rely on other people for help.  


* * *

  
  
Sebastian couldn't be more grateful to Louis than he was when his check was cashed, his new phone purchased, and he was back at his apartment in less than an hour. Now he would have the opportunity to shower and dress properly before getting back to Kurt's. He might even make it before the sun went down.  
  
Sebastian dressed in the same outfit he had worn on Tuesday when he went to the club in the hopes of running into Kurt. He had to admit that he was disappointed when he didn't get the chance to show Kurt that he had taken his expert fashion advice.  
  
He decided to spend some money on a cab to drive him. Kurt lived close enough for Sebastian to walk, but it would still take time that he didn't want to spend. If he had a car, he could make it there in about ten minutes, but by bus it would take him over two hours and he'd still have to walk a couple of blocks.  
  
He stuffed the balance of his money in a coffee can. Cliche, but he didn't have the time to sign up for a bank account yet, so he had Louis take him to the local supermarket to get his check cashed. On the way out of the store, he had spotted several bins full of flowers. It hit him that going over to Kurt's house for dinner seemed like the kind of situation that would demand flowers. He didn't quite have the money to spend on roses, but another slightly more modest flower caught his eye. Something about it's flat, circular top and multitude of small petals surrounding a center that resembled a sun made him think of Kurt, made him think of those rare moments when he had smiled at him or laughed so shyly. Sebastian _had_ to buy them. He tried to ignore the way Louis bit his lip to stifle his own grin as he purchased the deep orange flowers.  
  
He left his new phone charging in his kitchen, and locked up, deciding to wait for the taxi by the curb.  


* * *

  
  
Sebastian's heart raced as he approached Kurt's door. It was so different being here outside of work. The sun was just beginning to set, and the horizon glowed with beautiful shades of golds, reds, and cotton candy pinks. How lovely would it be to take Kurt out for a walk in the light of the setting sun. His skin would look gorgeous beneath the blanket of all of those amazing colors.  
  
_Lovely? Ugh. Maybe I should just turn in my man card now_ , he thought.  
  
He smiled and bit his lip. He couldn't help it. He couldn't help being excited.  
  
He took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. Then he rang the door bell.  
  
Sebastian could hear loud thumping as Kurt made his way to the door. The door slid open with its telltale creak, and there he was, dressed more stylishly than before, but still comfortable in a tight black Henley and what looked like Burberry sleep pants. Kurt looked over Sebastian's own fashion choice, noting the dark colored polo and jeans, and most importantly for some reason, the heavy black shoes, and smiled.  
  
"Hello, gorgeous," Sebastian said, before he could stop himself. Old habits died hard, and Sebastian wasn't usually the kind of person who felt the need to censor himself, especially in the face of an extraordinary man that he wanted more than he wanted to breathe.  
   
Maybe it was forward, but Kurt didn't seem to mind, ducking his head a little as the compliment washed over him, his cheeks turning a delicate rosy pink.  
  
"I wasn't sure you were going to come back," Kurt admitted as he opened the door to let Sebastian in. Sebastian walked through the door, careful to avoid Kurt's foot.  
  
"Well, even if I didn't want to," Sebastian said, reaching into his pocket, "I had to at least return these."  
  
Sebastian held out Kurt's keys, dangling from a plain metal ring. Kurt's eyes went wide, his mouth dropping. Sebastian could tell in an instant that Kurt didn't realize they were gone.  
  
"Why--why did you..."  
  
"Uh, you fell asleep," Sebastian rushed to say. Kurt looked like he was slipping, about to go back to that manic place where Sebastian couldn't reach him - just like the bar...and the shoes. "I didn't want to leave the door unlocked...I..."  
  
Kurt curled his fingers around the keys, taking them from Sebastian's hand and looking into his open, honest face.  
  
Kurt steadied himself, examining Sebastian's face, peering into his green eyes. He breathed out slowly, and then smiled, albeit awkwardly and somewhat forced.  
  
"Okay," Kurt said, nodding, returning the keys to their hook on the wall. "Thank you." When Kurt turned back, he finally noticed the flowers. The rosy tinge to his cheeks returned, and the smile became much more sincere.  
  
Sebastian followed Kurt's eyes and remembered he was holding a small bouquet in his hands. He handed them over to Kurt who took them reverently, running his fingers over the soft petals and looking at their burnt orange color.  
  
"You bought me gerberas?" Kurt's voice had a strange touch of awe to it.  
  
"Yeah." Sebastian looked down at his shoes, at little embarrassed by Kurt's reaction. "I know they're probably not too typical, but they just made me think of you."  
  
Kurt looked back up again, and his smile grew even wider.  
  
"Gerberas mean innocence," Kurt explained. He turned toward the dining room, hobbling in the direction of a cabinet by the wall which held an odd assortment of plates and a single blue vase. Sebastian anticipated Kurt's intent, touched the man gently on the arm to stop him, and walked to the cabinet to reach for the vase. He walked through the dining room to the kitchen, which he hadn't seen earlier. He wasn't sure how he could miss it, thought, since it was painted a pale yellow, had bright white cabinets, and looked a little like somewhere the Brady family would have cooked their meals. Some elements were updated and modern. All in all everything oozed a casual, thrown together style, just like the other two rooms he had already seen.  
  
Sebastian couldn't help but notice that Kurt had a thing for retro furnishings, especially where the 60's were concerned.  
  
Sebastian filled the vase partially with tepid water and brought it back to Kurt who took it, placed it on one of the low end tables, and arranged the flowers inside.  
  
"Orange gerberas in particular mean...you are my sunshine." Kurt's voice quieted as he spoke, and Sebastian marveled at the change, how the abrasive ice princess of just a few days ago had melted away into this warm and inviting man. Kurt looked up from the flowers and smiled.  
  
"Thank you, Sebastian," he said. Those simple words struck Sebastian like an arrow, straight into his heart.  
  
_'Shit,'_ he thought. _'I think I **am** in love.'_  


* * *

  
  
Sitting with Kurt, eating dinner in the cozy quiet of his living room, was exactly the kind of night Sebastian needed with Kurt. Not a hectic and loud nightclub scene. Just the two of them together, no distractions, no alpha males vying for Kurt's attentions. A bottle of wine, a single candle lit, and a wonderful dinner.  
  
Sebastian should have guessed, of course, that Kurt would be a master chef.  
  
Sebastian had never expected much from lasagna. Some noodles, sauce, a cheese whose name he could never seem to pronounce correctly, and if he was lucky, some kind of meat. What Kurt served him on what must have been vintage Wedgewood plates, was nothing short of a masterpiece.  
  
Maybe Sebastian would have to learn to woo Kurt some other way, and leave the cooking to Kurt.  
  
They were mostly done with dessert - a New York style cheesecake that Kurt had made from scratch, when Sebastian spoke.  
  
"You know, you do more with a broken foot in one day than I think I do in a week."  
  
Kurt smiled.  
  
"Oh, my foot isn't broken, thank God," Kurt said, wiping his mouth demurely with a cloth napkin and setting his empty plate aside. "It's badly sprained and there's a huge black and blue. The doctor said I should be fine in about a week. It's just these first couple of days that are going to be kind of a bitch, but they put me on some pretty strong pain meds. A few of those and this should be a breeze."  
  
Kurt winked.  
  
Sebastian chewed his last piece of cake thoughtfully before setting his own plate aside.  
  
"Do you know who ran into you?" Sebastian asked, inexplicable unnerved by Kurt's accident.  
  
Kurt shook his head.  
  
"No," he said, seeming nonplussed by the situation. "I've never seen him before. But we've had a few new people move into the neighborhood lately." Kurt shrugged. "It could have been one of them."  
  
Kurt stood, picking up his plate and reaching for Sebastian's. Sebastian smirked and took Kurt's plate instead.  
  
"Please." Sebastian stood with both plates. "You cooked, and you're injured. You are not cleaning up."  
  
Kurt giggled, watching Sebastian walk off to the kitchen with the plates.  
  
Sebastian's head peeked around the corner.  
  
"Do you use anything special to clean these plates?" Sebastian asked, worried about ruining Kurt's plates.  
  
"Oh, Sebastian," Kurt called. "You don't have to clean the dishes."  
  
"Nonsense," he replied. "My mom had a full set of Wedgewood dishes. She never let them sit with food on them."  
  
Kurt bit his lip.  
  
"Just the soft dish cloth and the Dawn is fine," Kurt called back. "Then use the blue towel to dry."  
  
"Gotcha."  
  
Kurt listened as the water ran. His heart stopped when he heard Sebastian start to sing. Kurt's mouth dropped as the sultry tenor's voice drifted into the living room from the kitchen. Kurt sat as still as he could so he could hear Sebastian's perfect voice. Kurt quietly cursed his cleaning spree earlier, wishing he had left a sink full of dishes so he could hear Sebastian sing longer.  
  
All too soon the water turned off, and Kurt could hear Sebastian's foot steps as he walked back into the room. Kurt's expression didn't change. Sebastian sat back on the sofa, rubbing his hands over his jeans to smooth the wrinkles, when he noticed Kurt's wide eyes and slightly parted lips staring at him.  
  
Sebastian's eyes shifted uncomfortably, darting around the room quickly before returning to the look on Kurt's face.  
  
"What?" Sebastian asked with a nervous chuckle.  
  
"You can sing," Kurt said.  
  
"Um...yeah." Sebastian began to feel a little self conscious. Singing was a guilty pleasure of Sebastian's - something he did in school and was really good at, but like all the other things he did in his life when he had no cares or worries, it was something he had taken for granted. He couldn't remember the last time he had actually sung anything.  
  
"I mean, you sing wonderfully," Kurt revised. He looked down at his lap and bit his lip.  
  
"We really don't know anything about each other, do we?" Kurt asked sheepishly.  
  
Sebastian shook his head, agreeing.  
  
Kurt looked at Sebastian's hand where it rested on his knee. He reached over carefully and rested his hand over Sebastian's. Sebastian followed the movement with his eyes, sighing at the sensation of Kurt's soft skin settling gently over his.  
  
"Let's do this," Kurt suggested. "Let's ask each other a question, and we'll promise to answer it honestly, but here's the catch...no talking about anyone else - no parents, no friends, no exes. Just us."  
  
Sebastian nodded.  
  
"That seems fair," he agreed. "But I get to go first because there's something I'm burning to know!"  
  
Kurt giggled, watching Sebastian straighten in his seat and bounce with excitement.  
  
"Okay," Kurt said. "Go ahead."  
  
Sebastian looked around the house pointedly, and then back at Kurt.  
  
"What exactly is it that you _do_ for a living?"  
  
Kurt smirked.  
  
"That's it?" Kurt asked. " _That's_ the big burning question?"  
  
Sebastian nodded.  
  
"Yes, please," he said.  
  
Kurt closed his eyes and shook his head, slightly relieved.  
  
"Well, I am a submission editor for a publishing company," Kurt explained dryly.  
  
Sebastian looked at Kurt with a blank expression.  
  
"And that means..."  
  
"That means," Kurt continued, "that when people send their unsolicited manuscripts to the publisher for consideration, they come to me. I'm pretty much the reason why if you send a book to a publisher and you don't have an agent, it takes you six months to hear that you're book has been rejected."  
  
"Okay," Sebastian nodded in understanding. "But, I thought publishing companies got, like, hundreds of thousands of submissions a day.  You only get about seven envelopes at once."  
  
Kurt rolled his eyes.  
  
"Well, hundreds of thousands may be a bit of an overstatement," Kurt said. "We are a smaller publishing company. My job only includes books from one specific genre, so I don't get that many."  
  
"Oh, let me guess," Sebastian jumped. "Romance novels?"  
  
Sebastian didn't expect Kurt to look so affronted. Sebastian almost burst out laughing when he saw the change in Kurt's face from casual conversation to disgustingly offended.  
  
"What!? Because I'm gay?" Kurt almost screeched. "That automatically means I'm only interested in romance novels!?"  
  
And the bitch was back. Only this time, Sebastian found it more endearing than anything. He threw up his arms defensively.  
  
"No, no, that's no what..."  
  
"Because last time I checked," Kurt interrupted angrily, " _you're_ gay, too."  
  
This time, Sebastian did laugh. Kurt watched as Sebastian's face turned bright red, and he could barely breathe.  
  
"Calm down, kitty, " Sebastian managed to choke out, "that's not what I meant at all."  
  
Kurt calmed down, watching as Sebastian's face scrunched adorably as he fought to catch his breath, putting a hand to his chest as he breathed in deeply.  
  
"Then what did you mean?" Kurt sounded hurt, and Sebastian sobered up quickly.  
  
"I meant that everything about you kind of screams hopeless romantic," Sebastian said, looking at Kurt fondly. "Your house, the garden, the pictures on your walls, your furniture, even the way you answer the door in dressing gowns, and you have one in almost every color. I mean, you would have to be, right?" Sebastian took Kurt's hand and held it in both of his, squeezing gently. He lifted the captured hand to his mouth and kissed it, staring deeply into Kurt's ice blue eyes, still glimmering with a simmering flame.  
  
"That's not a bad thing," Sebastian whispered.  
  
Kurt shivered slightly at the tone of his voice. How many times in the last few days had he imagined that voice whispering in his ear as those perfect lips covered his neck in kisses? He had lost count.  
  
Kurt felt Sebastian's lips brush his knuckles.  
  
The shivers wouldn't stop.  
  
"What kind of books?" Sebastian asked against Kurt's skin, before returning their hands to his lap.  
  
"What?" Kurt asked. He sounded breathless.  
  
Sebastian smiled, happy to know that he wasn't the only one affected by their closeness.  
  
"What kind of books do they send you? What genre?"  
  
"Oh, ah..." Kurt struggled to regain his composure. "Murder mysteries, and suspense thrillers."  
  
Sebastian's eyes went wide. That was not what he expected to hear. Kurt laughed.  
  
"Didn't guess that, did you?"  
  
"Wait...you're serious?" Sebastian smiled. "That's incredible!"  
  
Kurt rolled his eyes, looking at the sponged ceiling and smiling so hard his face hurt.  
  
"Okay, your turn," Kurt said, biting his lip. He turned his gaze back to Sebastian's green eyes, a serious expression suddenly masking his features.  
  
"Why do you work for Fed-Ex?" Kurt asked softly.  
  
Sebastian's face fell. He diverted his gaze, slowly releasing Kurt's hand as he leaned back, pulling away.  
  
Kurt chased Sebastian's hands with his own, grabbing a hold of them.  
  
"I don't really know anything about you," Kurt said, trying to hold Sebastian's gaze. "But you seem like you could be doing so much more with your life."  
  
Sebastian nodded.  
  
"I was," he said. "But, my life...changed...rather drastically not too long ago, and to make a long story short, here I am."  
  
Sebastian didn't want to look in Kurt's eyes. He didn't want to see pity.  
  
What he didn't expect to see was a shy smile.  
  
"What..." Sebastian didn't finish before he smiled, too.  
  
"Is it wrong to be happy that your life suddenly turned to crap?" Kurt asked.  
  
Sebastian looked incredulous for a moment until he realized why Kurt had said what he said. If Sebastian hadn't been cut off and kicked out of his father's life, he would have never met Kurt.  
  
"Can you tell me the story?" Kurt asked.  
  
Sebastian shook his head.  
  
"Sadly, no," he said to Kurt's questioning expression, and then leaned in slightly. "As per your rule."  
  
Kurt opened his mouth soundlessly as he mouthed 'ah'. Kurt looked down at Sebastian's hand, and then up at his face through a fan of long, brown lashes.  
  
"Was it because you're gay?" Kurt's question was innocent, but also unashamed.  
  
Sebastian nodded.  
  
"Yeah." His voice sounded slightly choked. "Yeah."  
  
Kurt wanted to pull Sebastian close. Wanted to hold him and kiss him until all the homophobes of the world went away.  
  
He sighed. He just didn't know if Sebastian would want him that way. Who would? He was too thin, too feminine, too much of an ambiguous joke. Isn't that what he'd been told for years?  
  
Sebastian's eyes on his face and his lips on Kurt's skin said differently, but those words...they were just too hard to forget.  
  
The silence in the air became too heavy for Kurt to handle.  
  
"Hey," Kurt said. "Let's take our minds off things with a really stupid movie. I have a blu-ray player I haven't even opened since I moved in here."  
  
Kurt stood, bending the knees of his stiff legs.  
  
"How long have you lived here?" Sebastian stood, mirroring the action.  
  
"Uh...about three years?"  
  
Kurt laughed at the look on Sebastian's face.  
  
"Let's move upstairs," Kurt offered. Sebastian raised a shocked eyebrow. Kurt bit his lip and laughed.  
  
"Not like that," Kurt said. "The only t.v. is upstairs in my room."  
  
Kurt limped painfully to the staircase.  
  
"Let me start up first since it takes me a while."  
  
Sebastian watched Kurt climb the first step. He steadied himself, hand on the railing as he raised the foot with the heavy cast onto the step. Then wincing in preparation, he jumped up to the next step.  
  
_'This must be how he gets down the steps, too,'_ Sebastian thought, remembering the strange syncopated thud from earlier.  
  
Sebastian didn't like watching Kurt struggle. He didn't like the face he made, knowing he was in pain. He couldn't take it any more.  
  
Sebastian crossed the room quickly. Coming up behind Kurt, he lifted him into his arms, carrying him bridal style up the stairs. Sebastian could feel Kurt's eyes on his face, felt Kurt's arms wrap tentatively around his shoulders. Sebastian held Kurt close, feeling his breath catch his throat. Sebastian negotiated the staircase carefully so as not to hurt Kurt's foot.  
  
At the top of the stair case, Sebastian saw five doors: two to the right, two on the left, and one at the end, each door a deep stained wood against a lavender hallway.  
  
"Where are we going?" Sebastian asked, barely breathless with Kurt staring wide eyed at him, cradled in his arms.  
  
"Uh, last door on the left," Kurt said, stunned and swooning just a bit.  
  
Sebastian walked down the hallway and opened the door. He was amazed at how close he had been when he had imagined Kurt having a stylish bedroom. The walls were painted a pale gold, textured using a technique that made the color muted. The wide and moving brush strokes gave it a flow like waves on the water. The four poster bed had a sheer canopy, and the frame, made of dark, coffee colored wood, looked exactly like Sebastian had pictured.  
  
The room, so close to Sebastian's dreams, and this gorgeous man in his arms, did nothing to quell the state of his arousal, which was growing by the minute as he held Kurt close.  
  
Kurt felt the mood shift as Sebastian walked him to the bed and set him carefully down, treating him delicately, like he was made of fine crystal or porcelain.  
  
Someday, Kurt would have to show this man that he wasn't as delicate as he looked.  
  
Sebastian saw Kurt wince, and scrunched his nose in sympathy.  
  
"Shouldn't you take your pain medicine?" Sebastian asked. Kurt hadn't moved his arms from around Sebastian's neck. He tried to stay still in the loop of Kurt's arms.  
  
"I don't want to," Kurt said, his eyes looking shamelessly over Sebastian's face.  
  
"Why not?" Sebastian swallowed as he watched the path of Kurt's eyes.  
  
"Because," Kurt's eyes lingered for a moment on Sebastian's lips, where they hovered just inches away from his own, " I don't want you to think that you're taking advantage of me when you kiss me."  
  
Sebastian breathed Kurt in deeply, the sweet scent of vanilla filling his senses as he moved in closer. His eyes drifted leisurely over Kurt's flawless skin, glancing once more at his sapphire eyes, pupils becoming impossibly wide as they looked at Sebastian with anticipation.  
  
Sebastian wanted to be smooth and gentle as he claimed Kurt's lips, kissing him softly the way he deserved to be kissed. That first touch of his lips against Kurt's, the slow slide of their skin together, stole all of Sebastian's breath, until he felt like he needed Kurt in order to breathe. He slipped a hand up Kurt's back, coming to rest at the nape of his neck, massaging the muscles with firm circles.  
  
Kurt moaned against Sebastian's mouth, and Sebastian made a bold choice, pulling Kurt in deeper and sliding his tongue between Kurt's lips. He heard Kurt yelp in surprise, felt Kurt's body stiffen for only a moment, before Kurt melted against him, breaking the loop of his arms draped around Sebastian's shoulders and threading his fingers into Sebastian's hair.  
  
Sebastian smiled into the kiss. He couldn't help it. This was a perfect moment, and he wanted it to last forever.  
  
All too quickly, Kurt pulled away  
  
"Can I tell you a secret?" Kurt asked breathlessly.  
  
"Anything," Sebastian said, forehead pressed to Kurt's.  
  
There were so many secrets Kurt had wanted to say in that moment, so many confessions he felt the need to say. It wouldn't be fair to Sebastian if he didn't tell him.  
  
Courageous advice?  
  
Maybe.  
  
This time, however, Kurt took the coward's way out.  
  
"I...I don't want you to leave." Kurt breathed in, closing the gap between them, stopping barely a breath away from Sebastian's lips. "Will you stay with me?" Kurt swallowed thickly. "Tonight? Just, hold me?"  
  
Sebastian nodded. His heart swelling.  
  
"Of course." Sebastian smiled, ducking his head to gather some courage before looking back into Kurt's eyes.  
  
"Can I kiss you again?" he asked, his voice a whisper, tickling Kurt's lips.  
  
Kurt smiled, blushing faintly.  
  
"For as long as you like."  
  
Kissing Kurt in real life was so much better than in Sebastian's dreams. His dreams weren't smooth like the skin on Kurt's cheeks felt beneath Sebastian's lips. His dreams didn't smell like vanilla, the way Kurt did. His dreams didn't moan quite as sweetly as Kurt did when Sebastian latched onto a spot on Kurt's neck, right where it met his shoulder, and sucked gently. His dreams didn't wrap strong arms around his torso and pull his mouth in deeper, didn't slide up against him deliciously, or feel hard against his thigh.  
  
If this was his life, if this was reality, Sebastian never wanted to dream again.  
  
Kurt moved against Sebastian, and he groaned against Kurt's lips. He wrapped an arm tighter around Kurt's waist, moving the hand from Kurt's neck to card his fingers through Kurt's chestnut colored hair.  
  
"God," Sebastian moaned.  
  
"What?" Kurt whispered sweetly.  
  
"Your hair," Sebastian explained between kisses, " _is_ as soft as it looks."  
  
Kurt giggled.  
  
"Usually touching it comes with a penalty of death."  
  
"Well, then..." Sebastian licked a stripe up Kurt's neck, from the hollow of his throat up to his jawline, "I'll die a happy  man."  
  
Kurt squirmed in Sebastian's arms, but held him tighter. Sebastian enjoyed that reaction, so he licked up Kurt's neck again. Kurt trembled, moaning softly.  
  
Sebastian wondered if he could make Kurt cum that way. He decided to try a third time, but a gentle hand stopped him.  
  
"Please..." Kurt looked at Sebastian with pleading eyes. "Please, not like this."  
  
Kurt's eyes shifted, his lust blown pupils contracted rapidly and he looked almost afraid.  
  
Sebastian felt cold. He knew that look...knew there was something there. He just couldn't bring himself to ask.  
  
"Maybe, we should watch that movie?" Sebastian asked, wanting Kurt to be comfortable.  
  
Kurt smiled, and how he managed to look devilish and innocent at the same time, Sebastian didn't know.  
  
"Or..." Kurt bit his lips as he rubbed soothing circles into Sebastian's scalp with the pads of his fingertips, eliciting a sweet, airy moan. "We can lay up here and make out until we fall asleep?"  
  
Sebastian's sly, cocky grin returned.  
  
So many times when he was around Kurt he felt out of his depth.  
  
This...this he could do.  
  
He swiftly kicked off his shoes. Cradling Kurt's lithe body in his arms, Sebastian lay him back against the pillows, carefully settling down beside him. He took a moment to look at Kurt, look over the beautiful face he had memorized and dreamt about kissing over and over. He reached out a finger and gently traced the contours of Kurt's lips, smiling when Kurt giggled at the sensation.  
  
Kurt looked into Sebastian's eyes, losing himself momentarily in their unique emerald depths.  
  
"Kiss me?" he asked, his voice barely louder than a whisper.  
  
"How can I say no to that." Sebastian spoke the words into Kurt's mouth as their lips met again. Sebastian kissed every where his lips could reach, spending more time than anywhere else on Kurt's neck. Every gentle kiss pressed to the long column of Kurt's neck produced the most delicious sounds, Sebastian couldn't resist.  
  
Sebastian kissed Kurt until he felt his eyelids become heavy, and Kurt's breathy moans became quieter and quieter. The last memory Sebastian had before drifting off to sleep in Kurt's arms was of moving the collar of Kurt's unbuttoned V-neck aside to press a final soft kiss above Kurt's heart.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** _This chapter gives you a little more insight into what Kurt might be hiding from. I don't want to give away any spoilers, but triggers for emotional issues and past events. Nothing gory or expressly stated. It's relationship related, so you have been advised. I also have a tongue in cheek reference to fangirls and fanboys everywhere, and all of those more exotic fanfics we all know and love. I also give a nod to our own Chris Colfer. If you follow him on Twitter, you'll catch the two specific references. That said, I think this may be the best chapter so far as we get to see our boys relate more with each other. Please enjoy :)_

Kurt felt a weight on top of him. A searing pain raced up his leg from his foot. He couldn't remember where he was or what he'd been doing. A chill ran through him as he realized there could only be one explanation.

 _He_ was here again.

Kurt started to panic.

He squeezed his eyes shut and held his breath.

Like a child, he believed that if he lay perfectly still and didn't make a noise, didn't move at all, then the monster under the bed would stay away, and he would be safe.

 _'No, Kurt,'_ he admonished himself. _'You're an adult. A man now. And the monsters you've faced don't go away when the sun comes up.'_

He would have to look. He would have to prove himself wrong.

Kurt whimpered, fighting to find the courage to open his eyes.

Kurt tried. He tried to will his eyes to open, but fear kept them locked. When he felt the hand on his cheek, he winced, preparing for the slap that would surely follow.

It didn't. He held his breath, waiting.

"Kurt?" A soft, gentle voice spoke to him.

Kurt couldn't reply.

"Kurt...honey?" the voice said. "You're having a bad dream."

Kurt felt a finger trace the line of his high cheek bones, stopping to tuck a stray hair behind his ear.

"Kurt, love. Open your eyes."

Kurt tried to relax, tried to blink his eyes open. He felt compelled to follow this voice out of the dark.

Kurt opened his eyes, expecting to see an angry grimace and burning, hazel eyes glowering at him.

Instead, green eyes danced before him - a small, unsure smile playing around soft, pink lips.

"Kurt?" Sebastian spoke again.

Kurt tried to think of anything to say. When nothing came to mind, he nodded instead. Sebastian smiled wider in response.

"There you are," Sebastian said, the concern and worry on his face melting away. "Bad dream?"

Kurt nodded. If it were only that simple.

Sebastian leaned in and kissed Kurt's forehead.

"Here." He shifted his weight to pull down the covers. He lifted Kurt up in his arms and slid him beneath the blanket, climbing in beside him. He gestured for Kurt to lay on his chest. Kurt rested his head gently so he could catch the muffled thump-thump of Sebastian's heartbeat. The soothing sound calmed Kurt almost instantly. Kurt sighed, cuddling against Sebastian's side, feeling himself drift off to sleep .

* * *

Sebastian woke to the sun on his face and the warmth of Kurt's body wrapped in his arms. For a moment, he wasn't sure whether or not he was dreaming. He had woken up to a similar dream several times in the last few days. Sometimes, when he was extremely tired, or the dream felt particularly real, it was hard to tell sleep from reality. Right now, remembering last night, lines blurred all over the place.

Sebastian felt Kurt stir in his arms and smiled. This wasn't a dream. This was real. He had spent the night kissing Kurt until he fell asleep...at Kurt's request.

His sweet, shy, honest request.

Sebastian couldn't remember a happier moment.

Then he remembered Kurt's horrible nightmare.

The sound of Kurt whimpering like a lost child woke Sebastian. Kurt trembled like a leaf, and when Sebastian reached out to touch him, Kurt flinched as if he thought Sebastian was going to hit him.

Sebastian worried about Kurt. He knew something was bothering him, and he wanted to protect him from whatever in the world Kurt thought might

hurt him. For now, though, Sebastian would try to be there for him - a strong, secure presence, holding him and guarding him against the nightmares and the pain.

Kurt looked up at Sebastian, blinking bashfully, a rosy tinge coloring his pale cheeks.

"Hi," Kurt whispered.

"Hello, gorgeous." Sebastian's voice, still thick with sleep, was low and gravelly, but the sound to Kurt's ears was seductive and promising. Kurt blushed deeper.

Would it be too early in their budding romance to admit that he really wanted this man?

That wasn't even a question. Who wouldn't want a beautiful man like Sebastian Smythe?

But could Sebastian ever want him?

Sure, he had spent the night kissing him, but what did it mean to Sebastian?

Kurt wanted to find out.

He decided to make a bold move.

He only had this one life, right?

"What would you be doing if you went home today?" Kurt asked.

Sebastian's green eyes grew wide in surprise at the question.

"Honestly?" Sebastian asked.

Kurt nodded.

"I'd be wishing I was here, with my arms around you."

Kurt smiled. He bit his lip, trying to screw up his courage.

"What would it take for me to convince you to spend the weekend with me?" Kurt asked, burying his head into Sebastian's chest so he wouldn't have to see the look on the man's face when he laughed at him.

He didn't see Sebastian's smile, the way he squeezed his eyes shut as he cheered, _'Yes!'_ in his head. Sebastian held Kurt tight, kissing the top of his head.

"All you have to do is ask," Sebastian said.

"Sebastian..." Kurt peeked almost shyly up at him. "Would you spend the weekend with me?"

Sebastian gave Kurt a thoughtful look, meeting those expressive blue eyes.

"It would be an honor," Sebastian replied.

"Annnd..." Kurt decided he had already come this far, he might as well go one step further, "do you think we can spend most of it here...lying together?"

Sebastian bit his lip, trying not to laugh out loud with the joy welling within him. He suddenly felt more like a teenage boy finding out his first crush liked him back than a grown man - confident, secure, cocky, with a gorgeous man lying in his arms.

"What would we do here," Sebastian couldn't help asking, "lying together in bed all weekend long?" The old Sebastian would have insinuated they'd be spending the time in bed naked, most likely fucking. This Sebastian wanted to know what Kurt was comfortable with.

"W-well..." Kurt stuttered a bit, "we could talk, and learn more about each other, and...maybe...make out...a lot..."

Sebastian chuckled. He would have never pegged Kurt for being so timid, but it was kind of nice.

Kurt looked up at Sebastian with wide eyes.

"But...but that's probably as far as it would go," Kurt clarified. For a moment Kurt was frightened that Sebastian would be angry. Maybe he'd get up right then and leave.

Or do something worse.

But Sebastian looked more charming than ever.

"That sounds perfect, Kurt." Sebastian rocked Kurt gently in his arms. "I couldn't think of a better way to spend the weekend with you."

Sebastian's eyes caught sight of the state of his clothes. What he could see of his shirt was wrinkled beyond repair. He chuckled a little.

"Uh, it might be a good idea if I went home and picked up a few things, it that's all right," Sebastian said.

Kurt dropped his head against Sebastian's shirt, making a disappointed sound in the back of his throat. Sebastian shook his head.

"Not right this second." Sebastian massaged Kurt's back with strong, gentle hands, enjoying the feeling of Kurt melting against him. "When we get tired of laying in bed like this, then I'll go."

"Well, then," Kurt murmured. "I don't think you'll be leaving till tomorrow."

Sebastian bit his lip harder so he didn't completely embarrass himself by giggling like a school girl. Whatever he had done right in the world to make this dream a reality, he wished he could remember it, so he could do it again every day for the rest of his life.

Sebastian and Kurt stayed in bed together as the sun rose higher in the sky, content to share the quiet morning holding one another, Sebastian running a hand over Kurt's shoulders, massaging his neck and down the long line of his spine. Kurt hummed happily, absorbing Sebastian's warmth and the gentleness of his touch. He wanted to remember their imprint on his body so he could relive them again and again when he woke up alone and scared.

Eventually the needs of their bodies outweighed the wants of their hearts, and they had to get up and face the day. Kurt sheepishly admitted to an errant couponing obsession, which led to him keeping a stockpile of basic toiletries in the cabinet underneath the bathroom sink. After Sebastian stopped giggling and caught his breath, he was gifted with a new toothbrush and toothpaste, and access to Kurt's skin care products so that he could brush his teeth and wash his face.

Sebastian helped Kurt downstairs. Kurt admitted he could get addicted to being carried around in Sebastian's strong arms, but he needed to walk on his foot if it was going to heal. Sebastian still held him steady as Kurt limped down the stairs. Kurt made them breakfast - French toast with maple syrup and fruit. Sebastian stood beside Kurt, watching him as he made the batter from scratch, hoping to pick up a few pointers.

They ate mostly in silence, Sebastian moaning appreciatively around almost every bite of his food while Kurt hid his smile behind the arts and leisure section of the newspaper.

Sebastian looked at the clock a few times, narrowing his eyes and doing random calculations in his head, before Kurt asked him what was wrong.

"I'm trying to figure out when I should leave so I can catch the bus. It's about a ten minute walk from here to the stop on Elm if I book it, and then..."

Kurt shook his head, scrunching his nose in that adorable way he did when he thought Sebastian was too cute for words.

"Nonsense," Kurt said. "I have a car service on call. I rarely ever use it. I'll send them a text. They can be here in ten."

Kurt picked up his iPhone.

"That's really nice of you Kurt," Sebastian began, "but I..."

"You what?" Kurt said, not looking up from his text. "You'd rather spend two hours on a bus than be here with me?" Kurt looked up from the phone after he hit send. His eyes looked weary, and maybe a little hurt.

Sebastian sighed, smiling as he crossed the room and took Kurt in his arms.

"Of course not," Sebastian said. "All I want to do is be here with you."

Kurt's eyes sparkled again, filling with hope.

Sebastian leaned down and kissed Kurt slowly, loving Kurt's response, how he leaned into his embrace, fitting so perfectly against the contours of his body.

"You know," Sebastian said, speaking against Kurt's lips as he continued to kiss him softly, "since I'm allowed to do this now, I probably won't want to stop."

Kurt laughed lightly as Sebastian's mouth moved against his, his tongue slipping tentatively between Kurt's lips to caress his tongue with just the lightest of strokes.

"I never said I wanted you to." Kurt wrapped a hand at the base of Sebastian's neck, carding his fingers up through his hair. Sebastian closed his eyes and moaned quietly as Kurt tugged gently at his brown hair, tightening his grip a bit, and then letting his fingers slide through the strands.

Ten minutes turned out to be three as all too soon the luxury town car pulled up in front of Kurt's house. Kurt peeked out the window, saw the deep blue car, and groaned.

"Ugh," Kurt said. "It's Madeline."

"I take it you're not too fond of Madeline?" Sebastian asked with a wink.

"She doesn't seem to understand the concept of 'personal space'," Kurt explained. "Just keep your legs crossed and you should be fine."

Kurt wanted to walk Sebastian out to the car, but Sebastian wouldn't hear of it, making Kurt promise, after the persuasion of several kisses, to put his feet up and relax until he returned.

Sebastian got to the car and immediately realized what Kurt was talking about. Madeline didn't approach him physically, as she stayed in the driver's seat when he stepped to the door, but her suggestive comments and lecherous stares seemed to know no bounds.

Madeline looked Sebastian up and down leisurely before unlocking the car door, licking her lips as she watched him climb into the back seat.

"Where to, handsome?" she purred.

"My apartment," he replied, giving her the address and buckling his seat belt.

"Nice," she said. "I like where this is headed already." She looked over the seat as Sebastian adjusted the belt. "Do you need a hand with that?" she drawled.

Sebastian rolled his eyes.

"No, thanks," he said. "I'm a big boy."

"I bet you are," she murmured, pulling out from the spot in front of Kurt's house and driving off down the street.

Sebastian was used to women flirting with him. It used to be one of his favorite past times, flirting back, dangling himself in front of them like bait just to reel himself back in because there was no way he was going there.

He was eager to get back to his Kurt, and this woman's misguided attempts at flattery just came off as annoying and depressing.

"So, are you visiting Mr. Hummel for business...or _pleasure_?" she asked, her eyes spending more time looking back at him through the rear view mirror than actually watching the road.

Old Sebastian reared his ugly head. He couldn't help it. Madeline made it just too easy.

"Oh, definitely pleasure," he said with a low growl. "In fact, I would really like to get back to what I was doing before you picked me up."

Sebastian wiggled his eye brows, sitting further back in his seat and crossing one leg over the other.

Madeline followed the movement of his legs with her eyes.

"And what would that be?" she asked, a little breathlessly.

"Now, I'm not at liberty to say," Sebastian admonished playfully, "but the pictures should be online by five. Be a good girl and I'll give you the link."

He winked at her before staring out the window, putting an end to the conversation.

They pulled up to Sebastian's apartment building, and he told Madeline to keep the engine running.

Sebastian's apartment always looked dark, dreary, and way too cramped for any human being to live in. But compared to Kurt's house, his apartment was a rat hole. He sighed. He took a moment to toss on a new outfit, similar to the one he was already wearing, but he made sure the new shirt was blue. For some reason, he felt the need to be wrapped in a color close to the shade of Kurt's eyes, even though his old Marc Jacobs polo didn't do that beguiling color justice. He packed quickly, mostly comfortable clothes for the two days because, with Kurt's injury, he didn't imagine they'd be going anywhere.

He checked his coffee can quickly, needing to see that his money was still safe. He unplugged his cell phone and stuffed it in his pocket. He took one last look around, and deciding that the meager contents of his duffel would be enough for the weekend, he locked back up and raced downstairs.

"That was quick," Madeline commented, and then looked at his small bag. "And it doesn't look like you packed any clothes."

Sebastian looked up at her with his best attempt at innocent eyes.

"Why would I need any?" he asked, adjusting his belt.

She moaned under her breath as she pulled away from the curb, her own mind wandering to the sexy man in the backseat, and the other sexy man back at the house.

When they pulled up to Kurt's curb, Madeline handed Sebastian her business card with a wink.

Sebastian took it, looking over it to appraise the extremely forward woman.

"You _do_ know I'm gay," Sebastian asked, pocketing yet a second useless business card.

"Does it really matter?" Madeline asked, throwing Sebastian another wink, and a long, leering glance before pulling away down the street.

Sebastian shook his head.

 _'It takes all kinds...'_ he thought, but he didn't linger on it too long, because he was back at Kurt's house. He could see Kurt sitting at a desk in one of the upstairs rooms. He was wearing black rimmed glasses, and had the eraser of a pencil stuck between his teeth, looking thoughtfully over something on his desk. Sebastian took a moment to watch him. He was reading with intense concentration. He smiled, and then laughed, looking up and shaking his head. He was happily mouthing the word, _'No!'_ over and over again, as if someone had just told him the most absolutely ludicrous joke. He scrunched his nose and set the paper aside, leaning his hand on his cheek and gazing out the window.

Their eyes locked and Kurt immediately smiled. He waved at Sebastian, who raised a hand and waved back. Then Kurt disappeared, and Sebastian knew he was making his was downstairs to unlock the door. Sebastian rushed to meet him. He'd been gone barely an hour, but he had missed Kurt so much that seeing him felt like a first breath, a first kiss.

On top of that, he couldn't stop smiling.

Kurt opened the door before Sebastian got there.

"Geez, Kurt," Sebastian joked, "did you slide down the railing?"

Kurt laughed.

"Almost," he said as Sebastian made his way passed him with his bag. Kurt scrunched up his nose at the sight of the old Harvard duffel.

"You travel light," Kurt said, eying the crimson bag with the famous shield and the Latin word 'veritas' silk screened in black. Kurt closed and locked the door behind him, still eying the bag.

"Harvard," he said, catching Sebastian's gaze. Sebastian's smile fell just a bit at the corners. He shrugged his shoulders and cleared his throat.

"Uh, yeah," Sebastian said, hoping Kurt would change the subject.

Kurt didn't.

"You went to Harvard?" Kurt narrowed his eyes as he looked Sebastian over, appraising him differently with this new information. "I'm thinking you aren't into the applied sciences, so...business?"

Kurt continued, looking Sebastian over like he was a riddle that Kurt couldn't fathom.

Sebastian thought that was a little ironic.

"You were going to take over a family business, right?" Kurt asked. Sebastian's face went blank. "But that wasn't what you wanted to do, was it?"

Sebastian dropped his bag, sighing. He looked down at his feet, shifting back and forth uncomfortably.

"You're pretty good at that," Sebastian said with a bitter laugh. "You're right. I had no interest in taking over my father's business. But, it made a lot of money, so..."

"Oh, Sebastian." Kurt's whole demeanor changed as he took the slightly taller man in his arms. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry, really. It's just...force of habit, I guess." Kurt pressed his head to Sebastian's chest, right below his chin. "Occupational hazard. Once you read your five hundredth murder mystery, you tend to profile everything and everyone."

Sebastian wrapped his arms around Kurt's thin frame and held him.

Kurt bringing up his father's business and his days at Harvard did sting, but Kurt's warmth, his undeniable compassion that seeped from every pore, washed over Sebastian like a salve and quickly mended the tears, sewing them back together and setting things back in place.

Sebastian smiled, thinking of the garden, remembering the decor of the house.

Organized chaos, but in the end, a place for everything and everything in its place.

"It's alright, my love." Sebastian breathed Kurt in deep, loving the feel of him in his arms, the scent of him right below his nose where he could breathe and take his fill of the angelic man. "What were you doing upstairs?"

"Ooo, you caught me hiding..." Kurt teased, but Sebastian thought for a moment that truer words were never spoken.

"I was in my sanctuary getting some work done." Kurt's eyes danced as they looked at Sebastian, and Sebastian couldn't help the change in his mood. Kurt had rooted out one of his secrets, but he would have told it eventually.

"Come on up and see, since my work _fascinates_ you so."

Kurt made his way to the staircase, preparing to hop up, but Sebastian needed to hear his intoxicating laugh, so he picked him up quickly, tossing him over his shoulder this time, and rushing up the stairs.

Kurt squealed with laughter as Sebastian put a hand on his back to steady him.

"Put me down!" Kurt yelled, trying to sound angry through a peal of laughter. Sebastian laughed at Kurt's distress until he looked at his shoulder where the man flailed and found himself only inches away from Kurt's perfect ass. Sebastian swallowed hard as he stared at the beautiful sight. So pert, so taut, mere inches away, and old Sebastian wanted so much to just bite into it and hear Kurt yelp.

New Sebastian had to admit that he wanted it, too.

Instead, he did the gentlemanly thing and put the squirming man back on the ground at the top of the stairs with a smirk.

"Okay, caveman," Kurt said with a light slap to the arm, "follow me."

Kurt led Sebastian to the first room on the left, where the door was already open a crack.

"Okay," Kurt prefaced as they approached the room, "now, don't think I'm a total and utter control freak, but I seriously need you not to touch anything."

Kurt's eyes turned dark and playfully dangerous as his hand lingered on the door knob, blocking Sebastian's entrance.

"Scout's honor," Sebastian said, raising a hand in mock salute. Kurt rolled his eyes and pushed open the door.

Kurt's office was about the same size as his bedroom. Sebastian couldn't tell the color of the walls since every inch was blocked by tall wooden bookcases, each one filled with books. The desk where Kurt sat was pushed right up against the window so he could see out over the garden and the street. On every other conceivable surface stood stack after stack of FedEx envelopes, as well as plain letter sized brown envelopes. The piles were obviously organized by some secret system. Sebastian held his breath as he entered the room, not wanting to disturb anything.

"What is all this?" Sebastian asked as he followed Kurt's exact footsteps into the room. Kurt sat in his chair at the desk. Seeing no other chair, Sebastian sat on the floor at Kurt's feet.

"These," Kurt said, opening his arms wide with a flourish, "are piles and piles of people's hopes and dreams of becoming a writer."

"Do you read _all_ of these?" Sebastian asked.

Kurt nodded.

"Our policy is to consider every submission, so the publishing house has to send me everything they get. It's up to me how they get handled, though. A lot of submissions editors have a strict criteria for tossing certain things the minute they get them - envelopes that aren't addressed correctly, or are handwritten or...whatever..." Kurt looked a little offended at this admission.

"But you don't?" Sebastian concluded.

"I can't," Kurt said with a shrug. "I mean, most of these aren't any good. I won't lie to you. But someone out there took the time to think them up, to write them, and to send them to me."

Kurt looked deep into Sebastian's sparkling green eyes.

"They all deserve a chance."

Sebastian smiled, ducking his head bashfully as he eyed the envelopes stacked orderly around the room.

"So, why the different piles?" he asked, not looking back at Kurt right away.

"Sorted by classification for easy access." Kurt gestured vaguely around the room. "I have manuscripts sent to me by other editors, manuscripts that aren't solicited, but the authors have a name in the business so they get special priority, manuscripts sent to me by the publishing house for other special consideration, but the majority are mostly just unsolicited manuscripts by new hopefuls."

Sebastian quirked an eyebrow, his voice dropping low as if imparting a secret.

"Any really weird ones?"

Kurt smiled, as if knowing exactly what Sebastian might be looking for.

"The fanboys and fangirls." Kurt picked up an envelope he had just opened, the contents of which lay across his desk. "They write stories based on television programs and movies that have already been made. Some of them are excellent, really, but the work is copyrighted, so we can't do anything with it."

"What about the bad ones?" Sebastian asked.

Kurt scoffed.

"The bad ones are really bad."

"Like what?" Sebastian switched from sitting to kneeling, bouncing slightly. "Show me one."

Kurt knew what he wanted immediately, rifling through a stack of papers and pulling out a thin manuscript, fastened together at the top with a binder clip.

"This one," Kurt explained, "about a detective and his gal Friday, set in the 20's..."

"Ooo," Sebastian interrupted. "Sounds like an old Bogart movie."

"Yeah," Kurt laughed, "except the main characters in this one are a puppy and a kitten."

Sebastian raised an eyebrow.

"What?" he asked as Kurt shook his head in disbelief.

"I kid you not."

"Well, that would make a good children's book, wouldn't it?" Sebastian offered. "Can't you just lateral it over to another department?"

Kurt flipped through the manuscript, bending back the pages to expose a particular passage. He handed it to Sebastian.

"I don't know," he said, pointing to the middle paragraph. "You tell me."

Sebastian read. Kurt watched his face closely. Three sentences in, Sebastian's brow furrowed, and he actually blushed, chuckling lightly as his eyes scanned the page. Sebastian mumbled over the words.

"Grooming...kneading his...mouth on his...whoa, okay!" Sebastian dissolved into a fit of giggles, handing the manuscript back to Kurt. "I guess not, huh?"

"What do you think?" Kurt stowed the manuscript back in the pile.

"I think I need an adult," Sebastian joked. "Or a shower."

Kurt laughed.

"I think our friend..." Kurt picked up the envelope to read the sender's name, "Sandy Ryerson here has gone to one too many furry parties."

Sebastian laughed at the reference.

"I don't know though," Kurt continued, drawn to Sebastian's unabashed laughter. "I was an only child, and my mom read me Dickens, Wells, Shakespeare. Do kids read stuff like that these days?"

"Well, I have a younger brother, and I have to say I never read stuff like that to him."

The two stopped laughing and looked at each other, realizing they had just reveled something about themselves.

"So, you have a little brother," Kurt observed.

"And you were an only child," Sebastian returned.

They looked at each other in silence for a moment. Kurt bit his lip. Sebastian, drawn by that lip that Kurt pinched with his teeth, made his way closer to Kurt, staring shamelessly into his blue eyes. Sebastian noticed Kurt's cheeks flush with color. He didn't want to push Kurt. He looked passed him at another pile on his desk.

"So, is that pile the best of the best or something?" Sebastian gestured to a large stack of brown envelopes on Kurt's desk. Kurt smiled.

"Actually, no. The exact opposite. These..." Kurt grabbed a few envelopes and showed them to Sebastian, "are the submissions that most editors would toss on sight."

"Why?" Sebastian looked at the envelopes, addressed simply to Littleton and Brown, Attention: Submissions.

"These are the ones who know nothing about 'the business'." Kurt said with air quotes. "They don't know the first thing about submitting a manuscript, who to address it to. They get sent to me in my bulk mail. It would probably save me a lot of time and trouble to just toss them. I mean, the likelihood of any of these being even remotely publishable material is next to nil."

"But you like these the most?" Sebastian handed the envelopes back.

Kurt nodded.

"These represent to me the bravest of the brave," Kurt said. "You know, the ones who knew nothing about writing other than they wanted to be writers. They had an idea, put it on paper, and sent it off with little more than a hope and a dream. I open one or two when I need a pick me up. Every one gets a response from me."

"Have you found any good ones yet?" Sebastian asked, looking over the large pile.

"Oh, heavens, no." Kurt waved the comment away with his hand. "90% of them are exactly what we expect them to be - total flops."

"And the other 10%?"

"Well..." Kurt pulled the knee of his uninjured leg closer to his chest, "9.9% of those are decent. They show some kind of promise. To those people I send..."

"Courageous advice?" Sebastian raised his eyebrows, his emerald eyes shining.

"I guess." Kurt smiled and shrugged.

"But that leaves .1%," Sebastian pointed out.

"Yup." Kurt nodded. "That honest to goodness raw talent that doesn't know how to present itself, but finds its way through."

"Ever have one of those?" Sebastian was intrigued by Kurt's thought process regarding his job, how he took something that other people might see as dull and monotonous and turned it into a special mission...like trying to find love, or hope. Trying to give a chance to a nameless, faceless stranger...or maybe a FedEx delivery man.

Kurt smiled.

"I'm always searching."

"And, this is how you spend your time?" Sebastian looked around the room. "In here, reading other people's work?"

"Yup."

"Doesn't it get a little dull...or lonely...being in here all day?" Sebastian ventured carefully, not wanting Kurt to throw up defensive walls and shut him out, not after they'd come so far. Sebastian looked around at the stacks of envelopes and couldn't help seeing a prison, one that Kurt had carefully constructed himself out of other people's words, thoughts, and feelings.

"Not really. I like the quiet and the solitude. I have my garden to work on when I want to go outside. I run..." He looked down at the cast on his foot with a grimace. "...or, I _usually_ run every morning."

Kurt looked out the window, sweeping his eyes up and down the street.

"I don't really need to go out too often," he defended. "I order everything I need online, and besides, some of the best things in my life come right to my door."

He looked at Sebastian only a moment, darting his eyes quickly away when he saw the other man's face flush lightly with color, feeling his own cheeks heat as well.

Kurt was flirting, shamelessly flirting, and he couldn't seem to stop.

"So," Sebastian spoke with a smile in his voice, "not a shut-in?"

"No," Kurt laughed with a gentle shake of his head. "Not a shut-in. Just picky about the company I keep."

Kurt bit his lip and looked back down at his desk. He picked up one final envelope and sealed it shut. He dropped it onto a pile and sighed.

"Well, that's the last one I'm doing this weekend."

"You know, I can probably take those when I leave tomorrow and drop them at the office when I go to work." Sebastian looked over the stack of envelopes Kurt had accumulated.

"Oh, no," Kurt said, patting the pile possessively. "I'll schedule a pick up. Otherwise, how am I going to insure that you come back?"

Kurt meant it as a joke, but the hitch in his voice and the shift of his eyes uncomfortably around the room spoke a different story...and the ending broke Sebastian's heart. Sebastian put his hand on Kurt's knee. Kurt looked down into Sebastian's intense gaze, lips trembling slightly with some hidden emotion.

"Kurt," Sebastian began, kneeling tall so he could be closer to Kurt, "I don't know what man ever told you that you weren't good enough..."

Kurt turned away now, bringing one shaking hand to his cheek to sweep away a stray tear. Sebastian cupped Kurt's cheek with his hand, turning his face and pulling Kurt's gaze back to his own eyes.

"But he was wrong." Sebastian swallowed around his own words. "So, _so_ wrong. And I'm going to spend every moment I have with you trying to show you how absolutely amazing and wonderful you are."

Kurt rolled his eyes halfheartedly.

Sebastian couldn't take it. Couldn't take the look in Kurt's usually fierce eyes that said he didn't believe him. Sebastian eased closer to Kurt, lips ghosting over his, brushing delicate kisses to his soft skin.

"What can I do?" Sebastian asked, rubbing their noses together, Sebastian's eyes roaming over Kurt's pale skin before meeting his eyes again. "What can I say that would make you see what I see?"

Kurt couldn't trust his voice not to break, but he spoke anyway.

"What do you see?" he whispered.

Sebastian smiled.

"Perfection..."

Sebastian kissed Kurt's temple lightly.

"Beauty..."

Sebastian pressed a kiss to Kurt's cheek when he tried to duck his face away.

"Compassion..."

Sebastian chased Kurt's mouth with his own.

"I see _you_ , Kurt."

Sebastian's words touched him, like a light breeze across his lips, before Sebastian claimed them again, hands moving to cradle Kurt's face tenderly as his eyelids fluttered closed. He lost himself in the softness of Kurt's skin, and the warmth of his perfect mouth.

Kurt's heart raced, and when Sebastian moved closer, pulling Kurt against him, he was sure that his heart was beating so loudly that Sebastian could actually hear it.

Sebastian's hands on his skin grounded him, kept him in the here and now, where there were no bad dreams, no horrible memories, no need for the double paned glass on all of his windows, the over the top security system, or the two sets of bolts on his front door. All things that, thankfully, Sebastian hadn't seemed to notice yet, so they didn't require an explanation.

"Do you think it would be alright," Sebastian asked as he reluctantly pulled just an inch or so away, "if we went back to our original plan of lying in bed all day?" Sebastian's fingertips caressed Kurt's skin as they traveled down his cheek, outlined his jaw, and then slid smoothly down his exposed neck, leaving a trail of delightful shivers in their wake.

"I think that's a wonderful idea," Kurt agreed, and this time Sebastian picked Kurt up properly, holding him in his arms and taking him back to the bedroom to get lost in a few thousand more kisses before dinner time.

* * *

Kurt ordered Chinese, another part of his well ordered routine, he explained. The publishing house assumed that he spent the weekend wooing new up and coming authors, and gave him an expense account for things like food and his car service, both of which he used sparingly so no one bothered him about how he spent the money.

Sebastian offered to pay for his own meal, and when he asked Kurt how much he owed him, Kurt asked him offhandedly what was the last book he had read.

"Uh... _The Land of Stories_?" Sebastian admitted sheepishly. It was the last brand new thing Sebastian had bought himself when he had moved, splurging on a copy from the airport bookstore. As luck would have it, it was also signed by the author. How he had managed to get so lucky, he would never know.

Kurt raised his eyebrows in surprise as he handed Sebastian his container of food.

"Now, see, you can't pay me, because this just became about work, and ergo, a business expense."

Kurt smiled triumphantly as he followed Sebastian to the couch, Sebastian shaking his head at Kurt's adorable cleverness.

* * *

They both took turns showering and retired almost immediately after dinner to Kurt's bedroom, where they decided to watch the movie they had forgone the night before. Shortly after the opening credits, Kurt climbed onto Sebastian's body, both men still warm, hair slightly damp. He lay himself out over the muscular planes of Sebastian's chest, and without a word spoken between them, kissed him gently on the lips.

Sebastian let out a slow, relaxed sigh, sinking deep into the pillows as he let Kurt have his way with him, tracing over the outline of Sebastian's lips with his tongue. Sebastian could feel Kurt's need, not just to be kissed, but to be cherished - touched and held tenderly. Mostly though, it seemed, Kurt needed some measure of control, over people, over his life.

Even after spending just one day with Kurt, Sebastian began to notice things...little things really, but they all added up and painted the picture of a man desperately holding on with both hands to the sanity that he had left. Locks on the windows. Locks on the doors. Security key pads on the upper and lower levels of the house - discreet, but Sebastian couldn't help but recognize them.

His mother had them installed every where in their old house.

Kurt was opening up to Sebastian, and Sebastian liked what he saw.

He wanted to know Kurt, and letting him take his time enjoying what he could give was as good a start as any, since some of his kisses came with confessions as well.

"I love the smell of Hugo Boss," Kurt admitted as he peppered kisses over Sebastian's neck. "I hate to admit it, but it reminds me of working in my dad's tire shop."

"Really?" Sebastian hummed as Kurt ran his fingers through Sebastian's drying hair.

"Yup." Kurt giggled.

Another time, when the music from the t.v. had managed to distract Kurt from nibbling Sebastian's earlobe, Kurt groaned.

"I usually skip passed this part of the movie...you know, when I'm actually watching it."

"Why?" Sebastian asked, moving his head to give Kurt more access to his neck.

"Because in high school we sang this song in Glee club."

Sebastian moaned, holding Kurt tight around the waist as he sucked a particularly sensitive spot.

"You sing?" Sebastian managed around another moan.

This time Kurt refused to stop sucking long enough to answer, and Sebastian had to work hard not to buck his hips up into Kurt's.

This was different for Sebastian, stretched out beneath a gorgeous man, being showered with kisses, some sweet and innocent, some demanding and full of fire. In all of his relationships, he was the dominant one. He had no time for slow seduction, nor did he want it. It was only necessary to know how to get from point A to Z in the quickest way possible. Kurt seemed to know his way from A to Z, but he was happy to linger at all the other points in between.

Kurt was nothing like any of the men from Sebastian's past. He was gentle but possessive, equal parts fire and ice.

Sebastian was more sure than ever that Kurt wanted him.

So, why did Sebastian feel the need to stop Kurt now before things went too far?

Sebastian felt Kurt snake his hands beneath his shirt, and his breath caught in his throat. He felt his cock go completely hard as Kurt's delicate hands explored his skin, running light fingertips down his chest, and then tracing the same path again with his nails. It was all so much, spiraling deliciously out of control.

Sebastian put his hands on Kurt's wrists to stop him.

"You're testing the boundaries of my self control, darling," Sebastian said with a smile. "I don't know how far you want to go."

Kurt felt embarrassed and a little ashamed. He didn't see himself following this through to the end...not tonight, anyway. He knew he couldn't even just take off his shirt for Sebastian.

"I'm sorry," Kurt said, trying to pull away, but Sebastian wouldn't let his hands go just yet. "I guess I just got carried away. It's just last night...it made things better."

Kurt spoke the last part so quietly, Sebastian didn't know if he had heard him right.

_Made things better._

Helped him sleep.

Helped him passed the nightmares.

Sebastian knew already that there were things Kurt had yet to tell him. He wanted Kurt to trust him. He wanted Kurt to bare his soul to him, to feel comfortable around him.

He wanted to give Kurt what he wanted, let Kurt take what he needed.

He was beginning to realize that someone in Kurt's past must have hurt him - shut a door within him that Kurt hadn't yet opened.

That was okay. Sebastian would give him time.

Sebastian smiled his cocky, sexy smile as he pulled Kurt back, putting his hands back in place on his chest.

"Can I be crass for just a minute?" Sebastian asked, dropping his voice a bit, feeling Kurt tremble against him as the sound of that voice washed over him.

"I guess," Kurt said curiously.

"I don't want to offend you, but you know...a massive 'o' might be just the thing to help you sleep."

Kurt's expression looked both shocked and offended, and Sebastian thought he may have crossed a line.

Kurt stiffened in Sebastian's arms, but he waited, patiently, while Kurt tilted his head and stared at him intently. Sebastian saw the fear return, the eyes that flickered gray for just a moment as they watched Sebastian's face.

Then Kurt's cheeks went red, and he shook his head.

"But, I...sex, I mean...I..."

Kurt was making no sense, but Sebastian knew what he was trying to say.

"There's other ways, sweetheart." Sebastian leaned forward and kissed Kurt's cheek. "We don't have to do _that_."

Sebastian tried to find that spot on Kurt's neck that he knew would make him absolutely liquify.

He found it pretty quickly.

"I'm not trying to rush you," Sebastian said honestly. "I just want to help. I want to make you feel good...the way you make me feel."

Sebastian lifted off the bed just a little. Kurt sat up, straddling Sebastian's hips, feeling Sebastian's arousal pressing into his own. Sebastian felt it, too, and smiled as he grabbed the end of his shirt, lifting it up his body and slowly over his head, tossing it carelessly to the floor. Kurt gasped as he laid eyes on Sebastian's well defined chest, his smooth skin - pale, but not so much as Kurt's porcelain complexion, muscles rippling along his abdomen.

Kurt had stopped breathing as he stared at the incredible body of this gorgeous man.

Sebastian let him look, with no expectations of anything else between them.

Kurt leaned over Sebastian hesitantly, eyes still taking in the beauty of Sebastian's body. Kurt's lips connected gently to a spot above Sebastian's heart, and Sebastian breathed in sharply, closing his eyes to fully appreciate the light contact.

Kurt's lips drifted slowly over Sebastian's skin, experimenting with touch, pressure, and tiny kitten licks from his tongue. Sebastian's arms fell to his sides, his hands fisting the blankets beneath him as he willed himself not to move.

Sebastian concentrated on the movement of Kurt's body above him, how he slid carefully over him, lips searching, tongue exploring. Kurt stopped a moment, as if contemplating his next move. Sebastian was about to open his eyes, to ask Kurt if he was all right, but then he felt tight heat surround his sensitive nipple, and he was on fire.

"Oh, God, Kurt," Sebastian moaned. He couldn't help it. Kurt's perfect mouth sucked gently, licking in tentative circles that became bolder the more Sebastian moaned. Kurt ran his fingers up Sebastian's sides, scraping his nails over his skin as he continued to kiss and lick and suck his way across Sebastian's chest. Sebastian tossed his head from left to right on the pillow, biting his lip to stop cursing.

After scrolling through a list of inappropriate responses, all he could come up with was, "Kurt!" over and over again, until it became a chant that Sebastian couldn't cease.

He could feel Kurt's warm breath panting as he licked a trail from Sebastian's belly button up to the hollow of his neck. It was becoming a little more than Sebastian could bear - too much torture without hope of release, but he would do whatever Kurt asked, even if it meant taking care of himself discreetly in the bathroom after Kurt fell asleep.

He felt Kurt's lips hovering just above his ear.

"Show me?" Kurt asked.

Sebastian opened his eyes to see the angel again.

"What?" Sebastian asked.

"Show me...how to do _that_...without having sex..."

Sebastian looked into Kurt's guileless eyes.

"Are you sure?" Sebastian asked, settling his hands on Kurt's hips.

Kurt nodded confidently.

Sebastian's first instinct was to roll Kurt on his back, to pin him beneath the weight of his body as he rutted against him, but everything he knew about Kurt so far stopped him. Instead, he pulled Kurt down over him, putting an arm securely around his waist and another at the small of Kurt's back. Sebastian ran his nose down the column of Kurt's neck before sucking gently on his favorite spot. With constant pressure on Kurt's back with his hand, Sebastian started to move, rolling his hips up slowly, sliding against Kurt's cock with his own.

Sebastian heard Kurt gasp, and then felt him become still and quiet. Sebastian swirled his tongue over the spot, moving down Kurt's neck so it wouldn't become sore. As his lips dragged along Kurt's skin, mimicking the movement of his hips, Kurt moaned.

Kurt slid his arms slowly around Sebastian's body, wrapping his arms around his torso, surrendering to the smooth undulation of Sebastian's hips as they rutted sensually against his own.

"Oh, Sebastian," Kurt breathed, and the wanton sound in Kurt's high, beautiful voice, sent chills through Sebastian's body.

"That's it, baby," Sebastian whispered, feeling Kurt's head rest against his chest. "Just relax. Let me take care of you."

Kurt wanted to squirm, wanted to writhe against this man, but he didn't want to take away from the delicious friction Sebastian's sinful movements supplied. He abandoned himself completely to Sebastian's ability to give him pleasure, which was obviously, Kurt realized with a little embarrassment, much more expert than his own.

He had time to feel self-conscious later as he felt an unfamiliar heat surge through him...something he hadn't remembered feeling in so long that he didn't even know where to access it in his memory.

Kurt never masturbated.

For so long, it wasn't allowed.

But here was Sebastian...beautiful, amazing, almost uninvited Sebastian, an unexpected gift of a man, giving him pleasure, expecting nothing in return.

Kurt hoped it would last, that this sweet romance wouldn't turn sour when Sebastian discovered what Kurt truly was.

That he was less than nothing.

Kurt had spent so much time dwelling, so much time doubting, that he had barely registered the constant mantra of Sebastian's soft voice, talking to him, calling him beautiful.

"Oh, Kurt," Sebastian moaned. "I can't even tell you how amazing you feel. I wish we could stay like this forever. I don't know how much longer I can last. Please...please tell me how you feel..."

It was the last part that struck him.

Only one other man in his life had ever cared like that.

Kurt felt the assault of Sebastian's hips start to falter, his movements stutter, his romantic words turn into murmurs that quickly became breathy moans.

"Oh, Kurt," Sebastian pleaded, kissing over the skin of Kurt's neck.

Kurt wanted to get lost in this feeling - Sebastian's cock coaxing him to orgasm, his heat engulfing Kurt as Sebastian held him in his arms, his lips worshipping Kurt's neck, his soft murmurings marking praises against Kurt's skin.

"Cum for me, sweetheart," Sebastian whispered.

That did it, tipped Kurt into the heat that tingled over his skin. It wasn't a command, or a threat, or a warning, but a gentle plea filled with want, affection, and seduction, all the things that Kurt had forgotten could exist in a world where men had sex for pleasure - not punishment.

Kurt felt his body momentarily become something other than his own. As he grabbed onto Sebastian, wrapping himself around him until he lost his sense of self, he was what Sebastian wanted him to be - beauty and perfection. He never wanted it to end.

Kurt could feel Sebastian grow still beneath him, and for a moment, the fear returned. Kurt waited to see what Sebastian would do. Maybe this wouldn't be enough for him. Maybe the part that hurt would come soon after, when Sebastian regained his strength.

Kurt felt Sebastian lift his chin, bringing him forward to meet his lips, which trembled slightly as they moved against his mouth. Sebastian smiled against Kurt's skin, and laughed gently.

"Would it be presumptuous for me to tell you that felt wonderful?" Sebastian asked, his voice sweet and shy.

Kurt smiled.

"No," he whispered. "Not at all."

Sebastian rested his forehead against Kurt's, eyes closed as he took a moment to center himself, to chase the breathtaking moment before it passed away completely, and he only had a shadow of it to remember.

When he opened his eyes again, Kurt was looking at him in wonder, and Sebastian couldn't imagine why.

"Why don't I get something to clean us up with," Sebastian said, smiling as he looked passed Kurt at the credits rolling on the t.v. screen, "and maybe we can restart the movie."

"Do you think the outcome will be the same?" Kurt asked.

Sebastian kissed Kurt again.

He would never get tired of having that privilege.

"I can only hope," he said with a wink.

Sebastian left the bed quickly, and came back from the bathroom with a warm, wet cloth in a flash. They restarted the movie and managed to wait a good twenty minutes before falling into the exact same routine of kissing and touching, which turned into Kurt above Sebastian's body, moving against him, chasing his release.

This time, when the credits on the movie rolled and they were cleaned up one more time, they drifted off to sleep in each other's arms.

Sebastian decided this movie...whatever it was...was now his favorite movie of all time.

Kurt didn't have a single nightmare.


	8. Chapter 8

Kurt opened his eyes before the rays of dawn made their way through the sheer curtains. He turned in Sebastian's arms, still reeling from the unusual feeling of having a man in his bed again. It felt unexpectedly nice, too. Kurt had spent so much time alone, waking up in the middle of the night, unable to go back to sleep. Too many nights he spent reliving memories he had tried so hard to forget. The good and the bad haunted him. Those spirits wouldn't leave him alone.

Sebastian had managed to keep them all away. The bitter and the sweet faded beneath his fingertips and his lips, changing everything for Kurt...making it all something beautiful and new.

Kurt watched Sebastian sleeping peacefully beside him. The first time they met, he had acted so cocky, self-assured, confident. Damn, was he hot. Even though Sebastian definitely wasn't his type, Kurt couldn't deny that something about him made Kurt weak in the knees. Kurt tried to memorize this moment, memorize all the things about Sebastian that he found attractive. Sebastian's hair was a warm brown, almost like smooth milk chocolate, and his eyes could put the greenest leaves of summer to shame. Kurt looked over the gentle slope of his nose and the perfect twist of his mouth, smirking just slightly even in sleep. As rugged as he seemed, with his rippling muscles and his athletic physique, his skin still managed to be impossibly smooth. Kurt couldn't help himself. He longed to touch Sebastian. He dreamed about touching him, about being intimate with him.

Kurt didn't understand what was happening to him. His life had been so well ordered, so safe. There was no room for anything or anyone else. He hadn't even tried to replace his beloved cat.

Now here he was, laying beside this phenomenal guy who wanted him. After last night, Kurt was convinced. Just thinking about it made his head swim and his cock hard. Cumming in the arms of another man was such a lost treasure for Kurt.

Sebastian might never know the gift that he had given him.

Caught up in his quiet fantasizing, Kurt didn't notice the grin that had started to grow on Sebastian's face.

"Kurt?" Sebastian whispered, his voice gruff, but happy. "Are you watching me sleep?"

"Uh...is 'yes' a creepy answer?" Kurt asked.

Sebastian swept Kurt up onto his body, moving him as if he weighed almost nothing, placing him astride his hips as if that's where Kurt belonged - straddling Sebastian's body with his head on his chest.

"Yes," Sebastian chuckled, still not opening his eyes, "but you're in luck, seeing as I seem to have a thing for perfect, gorgeous, creepy guys."

Sebastian opened one tired eyelid, knowing he'd see Kurt blush that enchanting shade of pink that managed to gather in perfect circles on the apples of his cheeks. Sebastian bobbed up off the pillow and pecked Kurt on the nose.

Kurt laughed at the gesture, putting his head on Sebastian's chest and snuggling close.

It didn't escape Kurt that today was the last day of the weekend. Kurt didn't want to go to sleep. He didn't want to forget a minute of it.

"You're not going back to sleep, are you?" Sebastian asked with an affectionate laugh.

"Sorry," Kurt said.

Sebastian chewed his lip thoughtfully, peeking through the sheer curtains to see the light outside barely glowing over the horizon. He got an idea.

"How does your foot feel this morning, gorgeous?" Sebastian asked, ducking his head to look at Kurt.

"Um, okay I guess," Kurt answered. "Why?"

Sebastian smiled. He patted Kurt on the ass.

"We're getting up," Sebastian said.

Kurt groaned.

"Really?" he whined as he sat up. "But, the bed is so warm..."

Sebastian grabbed a pair of jeans and an old Dalton Academy t-shirt out of his bag.

Kurt was about to complain some more when Sebastian, already shirtless, stripped off his jeans.

Kurt's throat was suddenly too tight as he saw those muscular thighs and that gorgeous ass on display in nothing but a pair of sinfully tight boxer briefs.

Sebastian caught the look on Kurt's face - his eyes comically wide and staring, his eyebrows almost to his hairline, his lips forming the cutest little 'o' shape.

"See something you like, beautiful?" Sebastian asked. He couldn't help it. Maybe it was a little over used and cliche. Kurt's eyes devoured Sebastian's every move, as if he physically couldn't look away.

It took Kurt a moment to recognize that Sebastian had spoken to him, and just a second later for his entire face to glow red. He looked down at his hands in his lap.

"I'm sorry," Kurt said. "I didn't mean to stare."

Sebastian looked Kurt over, trying so hard to picture the man who had danced with such obvious abandon, grinding against two men at the night club. For some reason, that Kurt had gone.

Sebastian thought he might try getting him back.

Sebastian walked purposefully back over to the bed. He knelt in front of Kurt, trying to catch his gaze. Kurt seemed determined not to look at him.

"Why the bashful eyes, gorgeous?" Sebastian asked. He took Kurt's hands and placed them on his bare knees. "I like it when you look at me."

Kurt peeked an eye up, let it roam over Sebastian's body from where his hands rested on Sebastian's knees, over his tight boxer briefs, along the ridges of his abdomen, up an expanse of flawless skin, along the column of his neck where a small dark mark had blossomed overnight, finally settling on the emerald of his eyes.

Sebastian smiled, moving closer to Kurt, pulling him up to his knees to meet him face to face.

"Can I ask you a question?" Sebastian asked softly, resting his forehead against Kurt's. Kurt nodded.

"Why the change? I mean, pardon my French, but when we first met, you were such a bitch."

Sebastian almost spat out the last word, and Kurt laughed.

"And at the club..." Sebastian growled as he grabbed Kurt's ass in his hands, pulling him close so Kurt could feel the way he turned Sebastian on so easily. "...you were so hot on the dance floor, so carefree."

Sebastian took a moment to suck on Kurt's neck, needing to hear him moan.

He wasn't disappointed.

"Why are you so different now?" he asked, trying not to sound demanding.

"I'm sorry," Kurt said.

Sebastian held Kurt close.

"I'm not looking for an apology," Sebastian said soothingly. "I want to know why. Is it me? Did I do something?"

Kurt shook his head.

"No, it's me," Kurt admitted. "That person I was...it's just a disguise. It keeps..."

Kurt stopped, swallowing hard.

Sebastian nodded.

"It keeps people away," Sebastian finished. "It keeps you from getting hurt, doesn't it?"

Kurt started to fold in on himself a bit.

"I'm not like you, Sebastian," Kurt whispered. "I'm not an alpha gay."

"Is that what you want to be?" Sebastian asked, rubbing his hands up and down Kurt's arms.

Kurt paused for a moment, then shook his head.

"No," Kurt said. "I want what I am to be good enough."

Sebastian held Kurt's arms tighter than he intended, but Kurt didn't flinch.

"Who ever told you that you weren't, Kurt?" Sebastian didn't mean to sound exasperated, but he needed to know. He needed to find this mystery asshole and rip his balls off.

Kurt didn't answer, just shook his head.

"Look," Sebastian said, "I have a confession to make..." He looked at Kurt with soft, pleading eyes. "It's ridiculous how much I care about you, seeing as I only met you on Monday, and to tell you the truth, on one of those days, you weren't exactly my favorite person."

Kurt shook his head, biting back a smile.

"But, look at us!" Sebastian kissed Kurt's knuckles. "Look at us here, together, enjoying each other, spending time together. And I don't feel anything but extraordinarily lucky to be right here...with you."

Kurt nodded, straightening his back and looking up to meet Sebastian's eyes.

"Thank you," Kurt said, his voice a little weaker than he had hoped it would sound, but steady and unapologetic.

"So...can we get up now?" Sebastian asked with a goofy smile on his face.

Kurt laughed, rolling his eyes to the ceiling.

"Yes," Kurt said. "Let's get up. It's only..."

Kurt looked over at the clock on his dresser and groaned.

"5:30!"

"Oh, boo!" Sebastian said, climbing off the bed. "This is when I get to work."

Kurt made a sympathetic noise.

"Poor baby," Kurt said.

Sebastian smirked.

"I bet it must be nice to sleep in," Sebastian teased as he pulled up his jeans and buttoned them.

Then he stopped cold.

_'Fuck!'_ he thought.

Kurt made his way to the closet to look for an outfit.

"I bet it is, too," Kurt said, smiling at Sebastian knowingly.

Kurt pulled out a pair of jeans and an Ann Arbor hoodie. He looked at Sebastian sheepishly.

"Um, I'm going to get dressed in the bathroom," Kurt said.

"That's okay." Sebastian pulled on his own Harvard sweatshirt. "I'll wait downstairs."

Sebastian turned and left, making his way down the stairs. He heard Kurt shut the door, the lock clicking behind him.

Sebastian took a moment to inventory the contents of the refrigerator, seeing what was available for breakfast. Sebastian found a couple of Macintosh apples, a wedge of Greek cheese, a box of table crackers, and a quart plastic bottle of milk. He gathered these all together into a reusable cloth shopping bag just as Kurt made his way down the stairs.

Sebastian watched Kurt limp into the living room, eyes still heavy lidded with want of sleep, looking like an overworked college student in his cyan hoodie. He had a boot on his cast so he could walk outside, and looked way more at ease with his sprained ankle than he had in the last two days.

Sebastian couldn't help himself. He walked toward him, dropping the bag on the sofa as he crossed the room quickly, picking Kurt up in his arms and spinning him around, kissing him soundly on the mouth.

Kurt smiled despite himself.

"What was that about?" Kurt asked when Sebastian finally put him down.

"Because you somehow managed to be completely adorable and super hot all at the same time, and I just had to kiss you." Sebastian brazenly grabbed Kurt's ass, laughing when Kurt yelped, and kissed him again, this time backing him slowly towards the wall. When Kurt's back almost touched the wall, Sebastian stopped, realizing with a sudden panic that he was about to trap Kurt.

Sebastian flipped their positions at the last moment, picking Kurt up and spinning them around so that Kurt had Sebastian trapped instead. Kurt pressed against Sebastian, pinning him with his body.

"Ok," Kurt murmured as Sebastian kissed him. "I'm awake."

"That's too bad," Sebastian said, squeezing Kurt's ass as he pressed against him. "Because I'm kind of thinking of taking you back to bed now."

Kurt smacked Sebastian lightly on the arm, and Sebastian laughed, nibbling Kurt's lip in retaliation.

"Let's go before I take you up on that," Kurt said, limping towards the door. Sebastian felt tortured. There was something he wanted to share with him, something he had seen in the early mornings when he drove around in the area nearby, that he thought Kurt might appreciate. On the other hand, there was something he wanted to share with Kurt upstairs in the bedroom, too.

Sebastian grabbed the bag off the sofa. He noticed the blanket from a few days ago and grabbed it, too. Rolling it up and stuffing it into the bag, he stepped out the door. The sky had just begun to light with early morning sun. Sebastian occupied himself by looking over the garden, at the blooming flowers and the ripe tomatoes waiting to be picked, while Kurt set what sounded like an intricate alarm code.

Kurt came up beside Sebastian and looked at the tomatoes.

"My poor neglected babies," Kurt sighed, tutting as he obviously saw something in the flawless looking vegetables that Sebastian didn't notice.

"I've never seen some of these before," Sebastian mentioned, gesturing to a few vines that held tomatoes of unusual colors - some yellow, some pink, and one with a bizarre mixture of red and orange.

"That's because those tomato varieties are endangered."

Sebastian raised an eyebrow and looked at Kurt. Kurt smiled.

"It's true," Kurt said. "About 50 years ago or so they were pretty common, but now...not so much." Kurt reached out and pulled a yellow tomato off the vine. He brought it to his nose and sniffed it delicately, handing it to Sebastian who did the same.

"Try it," Kurt urged. Sebastian popped the tiny yellow orb into his mouth. He bit down. The pert flesh exploded between his teeth; the resulting flavor sweet and unusual.

"That's really good," Sebastian said, putting a hand over his mouth as he attempted to chew and talk at the same time. Kurt snickered.

"Those are called Ryder's Midday Sun."

Kurt pointed as he named each one.

"The pink ones are called Whippersnappers."

Sebastian chuckled at the name.

"And those orange striped ones are an heirloom variety called Tiger Tom. I belong to a club that's trying to save rare vegetables"

Sebastian put a hand on Kurt's shoulder and massaged gently. At this point, it was almost an unconscious gesture to touch him in some way. It felt like something his body needed to have. It craved a connection with Kurt.

Sebastian smiled as he looked at the tomatoes, in their neat rows, obviously so carefully tended regardless of whatever insignificant imperfection Kurt saw.

Kurt seemed to find the tiniest flaws in a lot of things.

Sebastian wondered what Kurt saw when he looked at him.

"That's not all," Kurt said, taking Sebastian's hand and leading him down the walk, through the black iron gate to the front of the house. He directed Sebastian's attention to the garden passed the bars.

"Those over there..." Kurt pointed to a vine growing along the retaining wall, "...are yellow-meated watermelons. They were cultivated by the Tohono O'Odham people of the Southwestern United States and Northern Mexico. And there..." He pointed at a small grouping of plants in a far corner. "...are Chiltepin peppers. They're the only wild native pepper in the country."

Sebastian scanned the garden appreciatively.

"I have quite a few endangered vegetables in my garden," Kurt supplied. "Algonquin squash, Speckled lettuce..." Kurt drifted off as he looked over the bounty of vegetables, some of them on the verge of ripening, some just barely sprouting flowers.

"How do you get them all?" Sebastian asked, watching the soft glimmer in Kurt's eyes as he looked at the plot of land with all of its neatly ordered plants.

"Some of them you can order. But some of them are really exclusive. There aren't a lot of available seeds, and they can only be sent to master gardeners."

Kurt pushed Sebastian a little farther over till he could see part of the way to the back of the house where a small structure stood - a frame made of PVC pipes and covered in a green screen-type fabric.

"That's my greenhouse," Kurt said, a twinge of pride slipping into his voice. "I was gifted just last year with three different varieties of rare bean."

"Okay," Sebastian said incredulously. " _I_ could grow a bean. When I was in the third grade, my whole class had to grow beans...in coffee cans. Mine was the tallest."

Kurt turned to Sebastian, meeting his smug expression as he glanced down at Kurt. Kurt giggled.

"What?" Sebastian stuck out his lower lip, pretending to be hurt.

Kurt shook his head.

"These beans are rare because they don't pollinate the way other plants do. In fact, if you look closely, you can see other flowers in there with them."

Sebastian squinted as he looked closer and noticed pots beside each bean sprout that had an unusual yellow and red flower growing from it.

"Those flowers are pollinators. They attract the bees. All three elements are necessary for the beans to propagate. The society only sent out several hundred seeds, and I got some. I've been on a waiting list for the past two years."

Sebastian furrowed his brow as he thought. He noticed that most of Kurt's life, the parts he talked about, at least, encompassed only the past three years. Three years, when he had moved to this little yellow house, and had locked himself away.

"Do you get to eat the vegetables?" Sebastian asked.

Kurt laughed.

"Yeah," he said, turning to look at Sebastian's warm and open face. "Some of them are really awful." Kurt made a face and Sebastian smiled, moving a hand to Kurt's cheek, running his thumb along the curve of his cheekbone. Kurt leaned in to the heat of Sebastian's palm as it cupped his cheek.

"Mostly, I harvest the seeds, and dry them. Some I keep and replant, but the majority go back to the society. This way these plants can be brought back."

Sebastian watched Kurt as his eyelids fluttered shut, a smile curling the edges of his mouth as he turned his face into Sebastian's hand and kissed his palm.

"Why do you do it?" Sebastian asked softly, leaning in closer to Kurt. "Why all that work to save vegetables? No kid on this planet is going to thank you."

Kurt chuckled nervously.

"One or two might," he said. Sebastian snickered, ghosting his lips over Kurt's, waiting for an answer before he kissed him.

"I don't like the idea of losing things," Kurt explained. "Not when I can do something to save them."

Sebastian hadn't expected that answer.

Kurt made the whole thing sound personal.

Sebastian wondered what Kurt had lost that had turned him into this - a beautiful, tortured soul who put more value in other people's thoughts and feelings than his own, and went on a crusade to save things most people probably cared nothing about.

Sebastian's lips were almost on his. Kurt held his breath.

"Can I kiss you?" Sebastian asked, nuzzling his nose against Kurt's.

"Why are you asking?" Kurt asked with a smirk.

"We're outside," Sebastian asked. "I didn't know if..."

Kurt leaned in, just a hair, and captured Sebastian's lips. Sebastian made a noise of surprise as Kurt's kiss cut him off mid-sentence. Sebastian wrapped an arm around Kurt, pulling him in close.

Sebastian loved kissing Kurt. Every time felt like the first time, and once they started, they didn't seem to want to stop. Each touch of Kurt's lips against Sebastian's started the same way - a delicate, almost questioning press, then more confidence as Sebastian's lips moved against his, and finally a caress of his tongue as he grew bolder.

Sebastian broke their kiss and held Kurt in his arms, hugging him tight against him.

"I love kissing you, Kurt," Sebastian breathed quietly.

Kurt hummed happily, sounding content in Sebastian's embrace.

Sebastian put his nose to the top of Kurt's head and took a deep breath in, capturing the sweet scent of vanilla in his hair. The early morning mist surrounded them, and the still air carried all the sounds of the world waking up to their ears. Birds had just started to sing, and a few crickets chirpped around their feet. Sebastian could hear his own breathing, as well as Kurt's soft pants against his neck. Sebastian smiled at this moment of bliss.

A strange shuffling noise caught Sebastian's attention. He looked up to see a jogger approaching. The man had earbuds in his ears, a wire traveling down to an iPod he had strapped to his upper arm. He was covered head to toe. He wore a knit cap pulled low, and a muffler around his nose and mouth. A windbreaker in a bizarre combination of yellow and orange with matching track pants to match covered his too thin frame. He wore yellow knit gloves on his hands, and bright orange Nike running shoes.

Just looking at the man gave Sebastian a headache.

The man didn't really jog at all; more like shuffled as he approached, not even breaking a sweat as he barely went faster than a walk. Covered as he was, Sebastian couldn't see the color of his hair or his skin, just his eyes -blue, but no where near as startling or beautiful as Kurt's glasz eyes. As he got closer, he suddenly turned his face to stare at Kurt and Sebastian.

Sebastian felt immediately defensive as the man looked them over. Even though Sebastian couldn't see the expression on the man's face, he could tell the man was grimacing, eyes burning with anger. The man shot a quick look at Kurt's foot with the cast and the boot on it. Sebastian turned only his head as the jogger passed, meeting the challenge of those eyes, and Sebastian knew that this man had injured his Kurt. He suspected it had been on purpose.

Sebastian wanted to race after this jogger, follow him home, catch up with him and break every bone in his body. He chose not to bring attention to the other man's presence and taint their relaxing morning. Sebastian vowed to find a way to keep Kurt safe and deal with this man somehow.

The jogger made his way slowly down the block, not turning back to look at them once. He rounded the corner and disappeared from sight.

"Sebastian," Kurt murmured, turning his face to look into Sebastian's green eyes, "you're trembling."

Sebastian let out a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding slowly through his teeth.

"I'm sorry, gorgeous." Sebastian quickly smiled, and kissed Kurt on the forehead. "I guess I'm just cold. Let's get going, hmm?"

They walked through a labyrinth of quaint houses and back streets, cutting through a park that abutted a hill. Most of the hillside boasted great thorny bushes and clusters of trees, but a man-made hiking trail cut its way up the side with a gentle slope. Kurt got tired about half way. Sebastian convinced Kurt to let him carry him the rest of the way piggyback style. Sebastian lifted Kurt, who tittered bashfully the whole way up.

The flat top of the hill overlooked Kurt's whole neighborhood. From their vantage point they could see all the way passed the maze of little houses and cul-de-sacs to the highway. Most importantly, Sebastian could pinpoint Kurt's house.

Sebastian rolled out the blanket on a patch of grass that wasn't saturated with dew, and sat, patting the space beside him for Kurt to join in. He spread out the food between them. They sat and ate, enveloped by the heavy morning air, enjoying the peace and the quiet, and the glorious view - Kurt gazing out over the landscape below; Sebastian with eyes only for Kurt.

"Wow." Kurt sighed as he swept his eyes over the view below him. "This is amazing. How did I not know this was here?"

"I only found it by accident." Sebastian took a bite of his apple.

Kurt raised an eyebrow at him, silently asking him to explain.

"The first part of my route circles around here. I come back to your neck of the woods by the afternoon."

Sebastian blushed, biting on his lip and looking away.

"Uh-oh," Kurt said, grinning. "This doesn't sound good."

"Well," Sebastian tilted his head up, trying to avoid looking back at Kurt, "I really had to find a bathroom..."

"Okay!" Kurt sad, "TMI, Sebastian. I don't need to hear about you peeing on hillsides."

"Kurt," Sebastian said seriously, "did you miss the park at the bottom of the hill?"

Kurt blushed a deep, vibrant red.

"Oh," he said silently. Sebastian burst out laughing, falling over onto the blanket. Kurt pulled up his knees and buried his head.

"Kurt," Sebastian cooed, looking up from the blanket where he lay. "Kurt, please come out."

"Too late," Kurt muffled, and Sebastian laughed some more.

"That's not what I meant, gorgeous. I want to see your pretty eyes."

Kurt shook his head. Sebastian could see Kurt's ears, the tips glowing red.

Sebastian crawled to Kurt, and scooted up behind him, one leg on each side, pressing his chest flush against Kurt's back. He felt Kurt sigh as he wrapped his long arms around him. He held Kurt, resting his head on Kurt's bowed back. Sebastian began to hum, the strains of a piano piece he had heard in a movie once that had always tickled his head.

He felt Kurt loosen, lean back towards Sebastian's heat and the sound of his voice.

"The Sacrifice," Kurt said as Sebastian hummed.

Sebastian stopped humming.

"Hmm?" he asked, kissing Kurt's neck.

"The piece you were humming. It's called 'The Sacrifice'. I used to play it."

"You play the piano?" Sebastian continued to kiss down the back of Kurt's neck.

"Yeah, I do...well, I did. A long time ago." Kurt closed his eyes and ducked his head, giving Sebastian more access to his neck.

"You play the piano," Sebastian whispered against Kurt's skin, "and you sing. Do I ever get to hear?"

"Uh," Kurt stuttered, "that was a long time ago. I don't know..."

"That's okay," Sebastian said soothingly between kisses. "Who knows...maybe someday."

Sebastian ran his hands up and down Kurt's thighs, nails scraping along the denim of his jeans to his knees, and then back down toward his stomach. He heard Kurt's breath hitch as his fingers approached his crotch before he changed direction and traveled back up to Kurt's knees.

"I like touching you," Sebastian said. "Do you mind? If I make you uncomfortable, let me know."

"No," Kurt said quickly. "You don't make me uncomfortable. Not at all. But, could you..."

"What?" Sebastian asked softly.

"Could you keep humming?" Kurt's sweet request made Sebastian moan quietly against Kurt's skin.

Sebastian hummed softly as he ran his fingers along Kurt's legs. Sebastian let his eyelids close as he rested his head against Kurt's back, listening to his breath catch the closer Sebastian got to his inner thigh, his heart racing.

Sebastian wanted Kurt to feel good, to relax and enjoy this morning, this one moment in his life where he could be free of his little prison with it's black iron gate and it's carefully constructed bars inside and out. To feel the cool air and be free with Sebastian's arms around him.

Sebastian felt Kurt grab his wrist, stopping his hand. Sebastian expected Kurt would want to go back to his house now, back behind the walls.

Sebastian didn't care where they were, as long as they could stay together.

Sebastian felt Kurt lead his hand further up his leg, coming to rest on Kurt's cock, hard and pressing against the zipper of his jeans. Kurt pushed Sebastian's hand over his cock, palming himself through his jeans, leading Sebastian's hand. Sebastian moaned into Kurt's skin as he continued the movement after Kurt removed his hand.

Kurt supported himself with his arms propped on the ground, head rolled back to rest on Sebastian's shoulder, eyes shut, face lifted to the rising sun. Sebastian felt Kurt tremble against him with every pass of his hand over his erection.

"Oh, Kurt," Sebastian groaned. "My beautiful Kurt."

Sebastian licked slowly up Kurt's neck, hearing him gasp at the touch of heat, followed by the cold from the air around them. Between every kiss, Sebastian marked him with praise.

"My amazing Kurt...my wonderful...my incredible...my gorgeous..."

All Kurt heard was, "mine...mine...mine..."

Kurt prayed silently in his head to a God he didn't believe in that sooner than later Sebastian would make Kurt his.

Kurt didn't want this to end. He wanted to sit in Sebastian's arms forever, feeling the sun warming his face, and the delightful shivers from Sebastian's hand as they echoed over his skin, connecting to the gentle brush of his lips on Kurt's neck. Kurt found himself lifting his hips to meet Sebastian's hand. Sebastian reached an arm around Kurt's chest and held him.

Kurt could feel Sebastian humming against his skin - that rich tenor voice falling over him; the solemn piece of music wrapping within him and breaking his heart.

Kurt stilled Sebastian's hand again.

"Sebastian," Kurt whispered.

"What is it beautiful?" Sebastian wrapped both arms around Kurt.

Kurt rolled his head until he could see Sebastian's eyes, pupils lust blown so that his alluring green irises were reduced to thin rims around a dark center.

"Take me home, Sebastian," Kurt sighed.

"Okay." Sebastian nodded, kissing Kurt's cheek.

He didn't want to get up, didn't want to be away from Kurt, especially when he knew Kurt was so close.

Kurt stood carefully, his leg stiff and sore from walking. He pulled out his iPhone while Sebastian cleared away the food and the blanket, packing them back into the cloth bag. Kurt refused to climb back on Sebastian's back, opting instead to walk excruciatingly slowly down the trail, leaning on Sebastian's arm for support. When they reached the park at the base of the hill, Sebastian could see why, as a familiar blue town car sat idling in the cul-de-sac.

"You have to be paying a lot of money if they can get me up at 7:30 in the morning to get your sexy asses," Madeline yawned as Sebastian helped Kurt into the backseat of the car.

"Where to, Handsome One and Handsome Two?" she purred, putting the car into gear.

"My house," Kurt said, his voice unexpectedly breathless.

Sebastian leaned over to whisper into Kurt's ear.

"Let me kiss you."

Kurt smiled, and nodded, knowing exactly what Sebastian wanted.

Sebastian kissed Kurt's neck tenderly, following each press of his lips with a swirl of his tongue. Kurt's eyes darted to the rear view mirror to see Madeline's brown eyes wide and smiling as they stared at the action in the back seat.

Kurt hadn't intended on getting so caught up in Sebastian's kisses in the back seat of the car, but before he knew it, he felt a sharp pain as the arm rest on the door pressed into his back, and his head thunked backward on the window. He might have felt embarrassed, might have firmly pushed Sebastian off of him, except he felt Sebastian's teeth nip at his collar bone, his soft hair tickling Kurt's neck, his hands reaching around to palm his ass.

"Sebastian," he moaned. Long fingers pulled up the hem of his shirt, tugging it free from Kurt's jeans and his world began to crash down around him.

"No!" he barked, grabbing at Sebastian's hands, a terrified look in his wide blue eyes. Sebastian's eyes met his, worry and concern etched into every line of his face.

"Oh, yes!" Madeline purred. Apparently they had been parked in front of Kurt's house for a few minutes already.

Kurt looked rooted to his seat in fear as he looked at Sebastian.

Sebastian turned a sly smile to Madeline as he tried to get Kurt out of the car before the woman noticed the change.

"That's enough for now," he said with a wink as he opened the car door and quickly ushered Kurt out, grabbing their bag quickly as he turned to shut the car door.

"Awww," Madeline whined as he watched them go. "Another time perhaps."

Sebastian walked Kurt to the front door. Kurt fished his keys out of his pocket, and unlocked the door.

Sebastian started apologizing as soon as they stepped inside.

"I'm so sorry, Kurt." Sebastian kept his distance as Kurt locked the door and disarmed the alarm. "I didn't mean..."

"It's alright." Kurt crossed quickly to Sebastian and wrapped himself around him. "It wasn't you. Alright?"

Sebastian nodded against Kurt's cheek as they held each other.

"Normal people would be okay with that," Kurt said quietly. "Having someone they like put their hands up their shirt, touch them. You let me do it to you."

Sebastian listened.

"I should be okay taking my shirt off in front of you. Lots of people are okay with their bodies. If I had your body, for example, I think I'd walk around naked all the time."

Sebastian didn't want to chuckle, but he did.

"Things with me...they're not that easy."

"It's okay," Sebastian said. "You don't have to explain."

"But, I do." Kurt sounded close to tears. "You deserve an explanation."

"If that's what you want." Sebastian kneaded the muscles in Kurt's back with firm strokes of his hands. "But it doesn't have to be now, if you're not ready."

Sebastian felt Kurt relax, felt him emerge a bit more from his shell.

"I'm not," Kurt affirmed. "Not yet. But, I don't want it to haunt me all day." Kurt shook his head. "If it wasn't so close, I could push it away, but I can feel it, crawling all over my skin. I want to just forget, for a little while."

Sebastian didn't quite understand, didn't know why Kurt, with his incredible body, would be so violently opposed to removing his shirt, or to at least having Sebastian put his hand underneath. But he thought he might know a way he could help.

"Come on," Sebastian said, leading Kurt by the hand up the stairs. "May be I can help you forget." He stopped to bring Kurt's hand to his lips and kiss it gently. "For a little while."


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:** _Warning for discussion of past violence, and some anxiety. Here is where things get a little darker, as we find out more about Kurt..._

 

Kurt followed Sebastian up the staircase and into the bedroom. At the top, Sebastian pulled Kurt into his arms and kissed him sweetly, tracing his lips with the tip of his tongue. Sebastian reached behind him to open the door, and lead Kurt inside.

"Why don't you put on something a little more comfortable than these tight jeans?" Sebastian suggested. "If you want, I'll wait outside."

Kurt considered Sebastian's words for a second before shaking his head.

"No," Kurt replied. "That's all right. But maybe, would you face the wall?"

Sebastian winked, turning away so Kurt could peel off his jeans, and slip back into his lounge pants. He pulled off his hoodie, keeping his t-shirt on. Kurt turned to see Sebastian had stripped down to his boxer briefs, and stood facing the wall.

Kurt bit his lip as he silently enjoyed the view of Sebastian from behind - his broad shoulders, his perfectly sculpted back, and his gorgeous ass. Kurt walked up to Sebastian and wrapped his arms around him.

"Are you ready, gorgeous?" Sebastian asked. Kurt nodded against Sebastian's skin. Sebastian put his arms over Kurt's where they wrapped around his waist. He closed his eyes, soaking in the feeling of Kurt against his mostly naked body. He could imagine spending his life this way, waking up in the morning with Kurt in his arms, going to sleep every night making love to him.

If only Sebastian could open Kurt up just a little more.

Sebastian turned in Kurt's embrace and took his hand. He pulled Kurt to the bed. Kurt shivered a little as he assessed their situation - a mostly naked Sebastian and his king-sized bed.

Kurt gripped Sebastian's hand tightly.

"No, no, angel," Sebastian said with a warm smile. "I know you're not ready for that." He pulled Kurt to him, holding Kurt against him. "I just want to help you forget, Kurt. I want to take the bad memory away, and replace it with something good."

With Kurt melting in his arms, Sebastian settled onto the bed, lying back against the pillows, pulling Kurt on top of him.

He wrapped the blanket around them, slipping his hands beneath to grab hold of Kurt's hips.

"Why don't we start with the things we know you like, and move on from there?" Sebastian suggested, humming as he licked lightly around the shell of Kurt's ear.

Kurt moaned at the feeling of Sebastian's tongue on his skin. Sebastian felt Kurt's body react - his muscles relaxing, his cock twitching and becoming hard.

Sebastian rolled Kurt next to him on the bed, lying beside him so he could run his fingertips over Kurt's body the way he did on the hill top, over his clothes, feeling the contours of his muscles through the thin layers of fabric.

Kurt bunched the blanket beneath him in his fists.

"Tell me if you want to stop," Sebastian whispered, and as sweet as he tried to be, his voice sounded like pure sin - dark and resonant.

Kurt nodded, focusing on Sebastian's fingers, losing himself in the warmth of Sebastian's tongue, and the open-mouthed kisses he planted on Kurt's skin. Kurt rolled his head to the side, allowing Sebastian more access to the pale column of his neck.

Sebastian smiled.

"Well," he said, "I know you like _this_."

Sebastian gently kissed Kurt's neck, peppering his skin with delicate licks and nips. He felt Kurt relax into these familiar touches, smiling against Sebastian's mouth when he kissed Kurt's lips.

Sebastian's fingertips on his skin left shivers in their wake, and Kurt whimpered at the sensation, at the promise of more that he was trying to decide whether or not he wanted to give into.

Sebastian traced lazy patterns back and forth over Kurt's chest, from shoulder to shoulder over his collar bone, down both arms to lace with Kurt's fingers before slipping through, nails scraping lightly over Kurt's nipples and then continuing along his sides.

"You have a beautiful body, Kurt." Sebastian's words marked Kurt's skin, seeking out all the places that had been marred or ruined by misguided affections and the evil of a man who never really loved Kurt. Those words mended the hurt, sewing old wounds slowly back together. "Your skin is so smooth and perfect. I'll never get tired of kissing you, Kurt...never..."

Kurt sighed, seeking out Sebastian's mouth, chasing his lips every time he broke their kiss to speak.

Sebastian's fingers continued their journey over Kurt's flat stomach, tracing a small circle around Kurt's belly button. Kurt giggled.

"You sound like an angel when you laugh," Sebastian whispered. "I could listen to you laugh all day."

Sebastian ran the pads of his fingers as far down Kurt's leg as he could reach without moving away from the joy of kissing Kurt's mouth, down to the right knee, and then back up the left leg, slowly inching his way to the growing erection in Kurt's pants. Sebastian settled a warm hand over it, cupping Kurt gently. Kurt's breath caught in his throat as Sebastian kissed him, caressing Kurt's tongue in a similar gesture.

"You seemed to like this, too. Is this okay?"

Sebastian's voice tempted Kurt like no other. Kurt was pretty sure he would let Sebastian have his way with him as long as he kept talking, kept whispering beautiful words.

Kurt nodded, his nose rubbing lightly against Sebastian's.

"Yes," Kurt breathed. "That's okay."

Sebastian moved his hand slowly, first just palming Kurt's cock as it grew beneath his touch, then carefully wrapping his fingers around it, still over Kurt's pants, kissing him tenderly, never apart from him.

Kurt's body felt alive for the first time in years. It wanted Sebastian - his touch, his warmth, his words. In Kurt's mind, he had already surrendered to Sebastian. He already belonged to him.

"Sebastian? Would you...touch me?"

Kurt's voice barely rose above a whisper, but he spoke them against Sebastian's lips, wrote them over his skin.

"I _am_ touching you," Sebastian teased gently.

Kurt smirked.

"No..." Kurt took a hold of Sebastian's hand and slipped it passed the waistband of his pants, down over his skin to settle on his cock.

Sebastian moaned. Kurt hadn't put on any underwear.

"Oh, Kurt," Sebastian moaned. "My God, Kurt. You feel amazing."

Kurt blushed profusely, a deep scarlet that rose from his chest, still hidden beneath his shirt, and painted his face. Sebastian moved his hand, taking a firm hold of Kurt's cock - long, fluid strokes from base to head and back, twisting his wrist ever so slightly as he ran his rough thumb over the slit. Kurt fought to keep still, fought not to buck or writhe, but it was no use. Sebastian's mouth seemed to be everywhere - kissing him, nibbling his lip, licking a long stripe up his neck and then blowing the slightest breeze over it, chilling Kurt and making goosebumps form. Sebastian moaned against his skin as Kurt arched his back, breathing in sharply.

Kurt couldn't silence his own moans as they slipped passed his lips. He squeezed his eyelids shut, and in the dark he was no longer Kurt, the broken, the unloved. He was cherished and beautiful and full of fire.

Sebastian could feel Kurt tremble, heard his moans turn into breathy cries, watched the play of muscles that had started to tighten and twitch with every pass of Sebastian's hand over the head of Kurt's cock. Kurt was close, and as much as Sebastian wanted to slow down, to torment Kurt until he could barely breathe, he couldn't. Kurt needed this. Kurt needed to know he could trust himself with Sebastian - his body and his heart.

"Kurt?" Sebastian whispered softly into his ear. "Kurt, open your eyes and look at me, gorgeous."

"I...I can't..." Kurt stuttered.

Sebastian ran his nose over the flawless skin of Kurt's flushed cheek.

"Yes, you can, love," Sebastian urged. "Please, look at me. Let me see those beautiful eyes."

Kurt turned his face, and Sebastian watched Kurt fighting with himself to open his eyes, to share this part of himself with him.

"There is nothing more spectacular in this world than the blue of your eyes, Kurt," Sebastian cooed. "Nothing at all. I need to see them...please."

Kurt's eyelids fluttered, like the faint quivering of butterfly wings, as Kurt managed to force them open. Kurt gasped, another wave of heat rushing through him as Sebastian's gaze swept over his face. A look of awe dissolved into a smile that Kurt couldn't quite describe...because he hadn't seen love in a long time.

"Beautiful, Kurt," Sebastian whispered. "Gorgeous, Kurt."

Kurt swallowed hard.

"Your...beautiful Kurt?" It almost hurt to say, to ask. And it _was_ a question, because Kurt didn't know for sure.

"What?" Sebastian asked, pulling closer, wanting to be next to Kurt, to feel his body shudder when he came.

"Earlier..." Kurt had to stop and swallow as the heat that threatened to take him raced through his limbs, "you said...your beautiful..."

Kurt couldn't finish. It was all too much. Sebastian felt Kurt's hips as they began to stutter beneath the movements of his hand, which had quickened when he felt Kurt tense against him.

"Yes," Sebastian breathed over Kurt's skin as he came, "my beautiful Kurt...my gorgeous Kurt...mine...mine..."

Kurt's knuckles turned white as they grabbed the sheets. His body moved on its own, chasing Sebastian's grip as he spilled over his fist, with Sebastian's words ringing through his ears, and a gentle kiss pressed to his overheated cheek.

Kurt's body felt drained, every bit of energy bled out of him. He couldn't release his grip on the sheets, couldn't speak passed his shuddering breaths. There were stars in his eyes that shone so brightly that nothing else seemed to exist, and as they finally began to fade, two different stars took their place - two uniquely fantastic stars - green and perfect.

Sebastian didn't want to remove his hand from Kurt, even as he became soft. Sebastian didn't want to leave his side to find a washcloth to clean them with.

Sebastian did these quickly, eager to be with his Kurt, because now he could call him _his_ Kurt.

Sebastian kissed down Kurt's neck as he gently wiped him down, and then wrapped him back in the safety of his arms beneath the blankets. Kurt lay his head against Sebastian's chest, at a total loss for words. Sebastian sighed at the feeling of Kurt's weight lying against him.

"Did you mean it?" Sebastian asked. " _Will_ you be mine, Kurt?"

Kurt smiled against Sebastian's chest, wanting to scream, to dance, to jump up and down. Why did he feel like he was back in high school instead of feeling like a grown man?

"Do you want me?" Kurt asked. Sebastian kissed the top of Kurt's head, running his fingers lightly through his hair.

"Who wouldn't want you, Kurt?" Sebastian sighed. "Of course, I want you to be mine. I would have hoped that I made that obvious."

Kurt nodded.

"Of course," Kurt said. "I just needed to make sure."

Sebastian rolled his eyes fondly.

Kurt's body fit against Sebastian's like the matching side of a similar coin. Kurt curled up beside him, and all of his cares drifted away. He closed his eyes, absorbing Sebastian's touch as his fingers played over his arms. He could still feel those hands as they wrapped around his cock, stroked him slowly until he came. The vibrations of it still sang over his skin. Kurt smiled, biting his lip, blushing at the memory of Sebastian's tender words.

Then, as it always seemed to, doubt crept in.

Kurt's inexperience, his shyness, his anxiety. Would it push Sebastian away?

Maybe Sebastian would realize that other men, sexier men, who were better at sex than he was, were more worth his time and endless energy.

_'You're a nobody, Kurt. And who's going to love a nobody? No one, Kurt. No one's going to love you.'_

"Sebastian?" Kurt bit his lip, bringing his own fingers up to trace a path over Sebastian's skin. Can I ask you a kind of personal question?"

Sebastian took a deep breath, smelling the sweet scent of Kurt's hair. He needed to find out what it was exactly, and keep it with him always.

"Sure."

A voice in Kurt's head screamed, _'Don't ask! Don't ask! You don't want to know'._

But curiosity is too big a bitch to live with.

"How many men have you been with?"

"Ah," Sebastian sighed, nodding and looking off into the distance.

Kurt immediately regretted his question.

"I'm sorry," Kurt said. "I shouldn't..."

"Yes, you should, Kurt. It's not you." Sebastian ran a finger down Kurt's spine, noticing for the first time how unusual Kurt's back felt through the thin fabric of his t-shirt. Sebastian looked down at the dark fabric and wondered. He rested his hand on Kurt's shoulder instead.

"You have every right to ask. It's just...I'm a different person now than I was even a month ago."

Sebastian turned to look at Kurt as he spoke.

"I've slept with..." Sebastian paused, trying to find the most tactful words to use before continuing, "a lot of men, Kurt. And the person I _was_ would have said that with pride. But now, laying here with you, I'm kind of ashamed."

Kurt looked back at Sebastian, trying to push away irrational feelings of jealousy at Sebastian's admission.

"Why did you do it? Sleep with all of those men?"

Sebastian chewed the inside of his cheek as he looked up at the ceiling.

"If I tell you," Sebastian said, "I'll be breaking the rule."

"What rule?" Kurt furrowed his brow.

"About mentioning other people?" Sebastian's eyes swept around the room, at the walls, the television, the curtains on the windows. "We're only supposed to talk about ourselves."

"Fuck the rules," Kurt said with a smile.

Sebastian laughed, looking into Kurt's blue eyes shining at him.

"Tell me?"

Sebastian sighed.

"I did it..." Sebastian took a deep breath, "to please my dad."

Kurt lifted up a bit to look into Sebastian's face. Sebastian tried to smile, but he couldn't, thinking about the angry, older man who had thrown him away.

"Why would your dad want you to sleep with all of those men?" Kurt asked, confusion furrowing his brow.

Sebastian shook his head.

"Well, first of all, he didn't know they were _men_ ," Sebastian explained. Kurt nodded, listening intently. "He just knew that his eldest son was the...uh...big man on campus, so to speak?"

Kurt closed his eyes and shook his head, embarrassed at the choice of words.

"My dad is a Harvard legacy," Sebastian continued. "Old money, from a time where a man was measured by his success in business and in bed. And for my dad, that never stopped."

Kurt put his head back on Sebastian's chest.

"Didn't your mom get upset?"

Sebastian shrugged.

"I think she expected it," Sebastian said. "It came with the territory. She knew she wasn't going to be enough. I'm not entirely sure how much they loved each other when they got married. It hardly matters now."

Kurt gasped, incredulous.

"Why wouldn't it matter?" Kurt sounded almost livid. "Married without love, always being second place? Why would she not care?"

"Because she doesn't really remember." Sebastian's voice cracked slightly. He kissed Kurt on the forehead so Kurt wouldn't see him fighting back tears. "She has Alzheimer's. Some kind of early onset sort of thing. When my dad discovered that the long line of nameless women rocking his son's bed were actually men, he pulled my inheritance and disowned me. By that time, my mom barely remembered that I was her son."

Kurt tightened his arms around Sebastian's chest, trying to hold him together.

"Do you miss them?" Kurt asked.

"I miss my mom," Sebastian answered quickly. "She was such a wonderful woman."

It was getting harder for Sebastian to hide the tears now.

Sebastian pulled Kurt up his body and kissed him, trying to take comfort from Kurt's soft lips and his smooth, pale skin.

"She had a garden like yours," Sebastian continued. "She worked in it every day." Sebastian looked into Kurt's eyes. "I think the two of you would have gotten along."

"Sebastian," Kurt said. "Your mom's not gone."

"You're right," Sebastian agreed. " _I_ am."

Kurt leaned his forehead against Sebastian's, looking at his closed eyes and his mouth frowning slightly as he recalled memories of his own past, wondering at how different the two of them were, and in some ways, how much the same.

"I've had two boyfriends," Kurt volunteered.

Sebastian smirked.

"You know I don't believe that," Sebastian said, coming back to his cocky, sarcastic self. "I don't believe for one second that you didn't have a line of men outside your house begging for you."

Kurt rolled his eyes.

"I'll admit to a small slew of admirers," he joked. "Though in reality, I tend to attract some real losers."

Sebastian made a face, looking offended. Kurt laughed.

"Oh, really?" Sebastian winked at Kurt slyly, holding him tight in his arms.

"Only a few losers...no one you know." Kurt winked. "Actually, only two really spring to mind."

"Do tell," Sebastian pulled Kurt onto his lap, resting Kurt's ass in his palms and squeezing excessively.

Kurt wiggled his ass playfully and Sebastian moaned.

"Let me think," Kurt tapped his chin with his finger. Sebastian pinched his cheek hard and Kurt yelped.

"Alright, bossy," Kurt whined. "Adam and Chandler."

"Wow," Sebastian commented. "Were they brothers or a singing group?"

"No," Kurt said. "Adam went to school with me, and Chandler I worked with."

Sebastian raised an eyebrow.

"You know I'm not just going to let you leave it at that," Sebastian said. "I broke the rules. Now it's your turn."

Kurt looked down a little nervously, and Sebastian knew they were treading into unsure ground, possibly a period of time that extended passed the three year window of safety where Kurt felt comfortable.

Kurt ran his fingernails down Sebastian's chest as he tried to find a way to answer.

"I used to live in New York," Kurt started. "I moved there after high school. I went to a school called NYADA. I don't know if you've heard of it."

Sebastian's look of awe answered his question. Kurt smiled.

"I...I was also an intern at Vogue," Kurt continued, trying not to sound like he was boasting.

"Kurt..." Sebastian sat up with Kurt in his lap, sitting face to face, and held him. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"It's in the past," Kurt said with a shrug. "My life is here now."

Kurt sounded nonchalant, but his eyes darted away quickly, his smile fading.

"Anyway, Adam went to school with me, and Chandler was an intern at Vogue."

"So, why were they weird?"

Sebastian ran his hands up and down Kurt's thighs, massaging the muscles with firm strokes.

"Well, Adam was really possessive and jealous. He ran a singing group called 'Adam's Apples'."

Sebastian barked out a laugh.

"Yeah, yeah, it's kind of lame, I know," Kurt agreed. "Anyway, I guess he liked me. I kind of liked him, too. I went through a bad break up my first year in college, and he was sort of a shoulder that I cried on. He thought it meant I was going to automatically throw myself into his arms. But when I started dating someone else, he threw me out of 'Adam's Apples'."

"It sounds like you caught a break," Sebastian said through another laugh.

"Anyway..." Kurt continued, "Chandler was kind of flamboyant, even for being in fashion, and that's a lot coming from me. But he got creepy when he admitted he liked me. He started going to lunch with me every day, and then he started dressing like me."

Sebastian rubbed his eyes as he stopped laughing, looking back at Kurt in time to watch his face change slightly.

"What?" Sebastian asked.

"Nothing really." Kurt shrugged. "Just, thinking about Chandler comes with other memories."

Kurt sighed.

"It wasn't the happiest time in my life."

Sebastian watched as Kurt's face changed again, and there it was. The fiery, flirty Kurt retreating back into his shell. Whatever happened to Kurt, it must have started in New York.

"So, why did you leave New York?" Sebastian tread lightly, expecting Kurt to find some way to change the subject.

"I started dating a guy...and he...well...he had a dream, too. His dream was in Chicago. And...and we agreed that my dream was a bit too big for me, so..."

Sebastian clenched his jaw.

"So, he convinced you to leave your dream behind...for him?"

Kurt swallowed. Sebastian didn't want to badger Kurt out of anger at someone else, but was getting harder and harder to keep it in check.

Sebastian knew there was more. He wanted all the details, including name, address, and phone number so he could go after this asshole.

Most of all, he wanted to know what else this bastard had convinced Kurt to do; why this angelic man who was obviously so strong could fold so easily.

"But, you left him?"

"I got into an accident." Kurt's eyes didn't leave his hands, splayed across Sebastian's chest. "I had to be hospitalized for a while. We kind of left each other. I haven't had a boyfriend since."

"Thank you for telling me, Kurt," Sebastian said, kissing him on the cheek.

"Now, you tell me something," Kurt demanded.

Sebastian grabbed Kurt's hips, bucking up playfully.

"Anything," Sebastian said.

"What did you really want to do with your life?"

Sebastian sighed.

"You promise you won't laugh."

Kurt nodded.

"I wanted to be...a photographer."

Sebastian waited for Kurt to giggle...snicker...anything. Instead, Kurt sat patiently, waiting for Sebastian to continue.

"I wanted to travel around the world, sleep in a tent, meet new people and record the events in their lives."

Kurt smiled, his own look of awe brightening his face.

"That's incredible, Sebastian!" Kurt gushed. "You should do that, if that's what you want."

Sebastian scoffed.

"I'm serious, Sebastian! And the best thing is you can get started today. You don't have to travel around the world to take pictures. Start here."

Sebastian didn't want to admit to the fact that spending his time taking pictures, even in the butthole town where they lived, sounded like a dream.

"Unfortunately, the only camera I own is..." Sebastian stopped himself before he could mention his father again. "Well, it's unavailable at the moment."

Kurt had a thoughtful look on his face as he digested Sebastian's words. He made to get up from the bed. Sebastian held him fast.

"No," Sebastian said. "You stay here. I like you where you are."

Kurt swatted his hands.

"I'll only be a minute," Kurt said, managing to slip out of Sebastian's grip.

"Stay here for a second, okay?" Kurt limped out the door and down the hallway. Sebastian heard Kurt unlock and open a door, presumably a door to a room he hadn't seen yet. Sebastian waited as he heard boxes being shuffled around. He burned with curiosity as he waited for Kurt to return. He heard him limp back down the hall, and when he entered the bedroom, he had a small black bag in his hands.

"Now, before you open your mouth, I know what you're going to say," Kurt said as soon as Sebastian's eyes went wide. "So, I'm making this a loan instead of a gift. That way you'd be a fool to refuse."

Sebastian chuckled as Kurt put the bag on the bed and opened it.

"Now, it's not the most updated camera in the universe," Kurt explained, as he removed the digital SLR and assembled it, "but it was a gift from Isabelle Wright. So I could photograph models wearing my designs. But I never used it."

Sebastian watched as Kurt attached the body to the lens, and then inserted the battery and compact flash card. Kurt switched it on, smiling as the power indicator glowed green. He handed the camera to Sebastian, who took it, turning it over in his hands to look at it. The smile on his face was reverent, happy. He looked through the viewfinder and focused on Kurt, taking a quick shot before Kurt could complain.

"Hey!" Kurt whined. "I didn't mean take pictures of me!"

"You said to start here...start today..." Sebastian kept snapping pictures as Kurt blushed, threw his hands up over his face, turned away. "I figured I'd start with the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

Kurt rolled his eyes as Sebastian took another picture.

"You need to stop saying things like that." Kurt ducked his head.

"Why?" Sebastian stopped taking pictures, and looked seriously at Kurt.

"Because I might start believing it."

Sebastian knelt in front of Kurt, putting the camera aside.

"You should," Sebastian said, ducking to catch Kurt's gaze. "I dare you to find something more gorgeous."

Kurt's eyes flicked up immediately. He picked up the camera where it lay on the bed, aimed it at Sebastian, and pressed the shutter. Sebastian watched Kurt look at the display screen and smile, turning it to show him the photo he had just taken of Sebastian's face.

"Don't erase that one, please." Kurt handed the camera to Sebastian, who cradled it in his arms.

* * *

Sebastian and Kurt spent the remainder of the day enjoying as close to comfortable domesticity as they could get. Sebastian had forgotten how much he missed seeing the world through the viewfinder of a camera. He photographed everything at Kurt's house, including Kurt a couple of hundred times, to the other man's dismay. Sebastian photographed Kurt's bedroom window, and his closet lined with designer clothes. He photographed the lavender hallway with its wooden doors and all the various eclectic furnishings in the house. He even went outside and snapped pictures of Kurt's plants in the garden, and the tiny green house Kurt seemed so proud of.

Sebastian took hundreds of pictures that afternoon, but his photos of Kurt were his favorites. He managed to take one of Kurt making their paninis at lunch. He snapped one of Kurt tending to the tomatoes when he was sure Sebastian was too occupied photographing the dahlias to pay any attention. The last picture he took of Kurt was of him sitting at his desk, black rimmed reading glasses perched on his perfect nose, looking out the window as a breeze blew through, ruffling the sheer curtains.

Kurt turned to Sebastian when he heard the shutter click, smiling at the look of joy on Sebastian's face.

"Let me see what you have so far," Kurt requested, holding out a hand to accept the camera. Sebastian handed it over, and knelt at Kurt's feet to look at the photos with him. Kurt smiled as he shuffled through pictures of his bookcases, shelves packed at all angles with books. He saw a photo of vines in his garden, small gourds emerging from yellow flowers. Another was a full portrait of his house that Sebastian had taken from across the street.

"These are wonderful." Kurt hummed as he continued to flip through the photographs. "I've always wanted a photo of my house. Maybe we can print one of these."

Sebastian nodded, accepting the camera back when Kurt handed it to him.

"You have an excellent eye," Kurt commented. "You're very talented."

"Thank you." Sebastian kissed Kurt on the cheek, his eye catching a manuscript that Kurt had laid out on his desk, marks and notes scribbled in the margin that Sebastian couldn't make out.

"What's this?" he asked, gesturing to the pages.

"This is a book that I'm ghost writing." Kurt took off his glasses and rubbed his tired eyes. "Some no-talent t.v. actor got it in his head that he wanted to write a book and sent me this..." Kurt reached across his desk and picked up the original treatment. Sebastian took it from Kurt and scanned through it.

"Is this guy in the seventh grade or something?" Sebastian asked, wincing at the horrible grammar and the terrible spelling.

"It doesn't matter if he is or not." Kurt sighed. "I re-wrote the majority of it. It's going to be published in the next two years to coincide with some movie he's putting out."

"So, the words are yours, and the idea is yours, but he gets all the credit."

Kurt nodded.

"Pretty much."

"Well, that sucks," Sebastian said, looking over the pages. Sebastian looked down at Kurt, still rubbing his eyes. "Can I read it?"

Kurt huffed.

"You want to read this tool's book?"

"No." Sebastian looped his arms around Kurt's neck. "I want to read _your_ book that just happens to have this tool's name on it."

Kurt looked around the desk, found a second copy of the manuscript, and handed it to Sebastian.

"Here. This is the revised copy for the tool to read." Kurt smirked as Sebastian laughed, knowing that whoever this actor really was would forever be known as 'The Tool'. "I was supposed to send it to him, but he doesn't even seem to care about this stupid book anymore."

* * *

Sebastian sat on the sofa, reading the manuscript, as Kurt threw together dinner. Several times Sebastian's heart nearly stopped. He normally didn't like suspense thrillers, but this book had him hooked. Kurt had a gift, and it hid behind someone else's name and their picture on the jacket. Sebastian couldn't help feeling that an injustice was being done.

_'Elizabeth shot up the staircase, tripping over the top step as she tried to make her way to the attic. If she could only climb into the crawl space she would have a chance. Holding her right arm tight against her, the towel tied to her wrist soaked through with blood, she turned for just a second to see if Azimio was still following her...'_

Sebastian flipped to the next page, not realizing he was holding his breath.

_'Slowly she inched, feeling her way down the dark corridor, counting her steps as she had so many times before when she had to escape her husband's anger. But no, he wasn't her husband anymore, and if she could only get away, only find her way to a window or a phone, she could get help. Then maybe, just maybe, that worthless piece of paper called a restraining order might be put to good use...'_

Sebastian's hand actually shook as he flipped to the next page, praying silently that Elizabeth would escape her abusive asshole of a husband and make it to the dusty crawl space that had been her refuge so many times before.

_'The dark and the quiet pressed in on Elizabeth as she slowly made her way to the door. Her mind swirled and her heart raced. She couldn't take it. She saw her chance and she took it. She ran, reaching for the door knob, and hopefully, safety. But the door was locked. A cruel voice laughed in her ear. A rough hand grabbed at the collar of her shirt, tearing the delicate fabric in half, the fiery end of a Cuban cigar searing a mark into her skin as she screamed...'_

"Hummus?" an airy voice sang, the sound of a plate settling onto the little wooden table at Sebastian's elbow interrupting his thoughts.

"Jesus!" Sebastian exclaimed, sitting straight up in his seat, the manuscript flying out of his hands and falling to the floor.

Kurt giggled as he watched Sebastian, green eyes blown wide with panic as he returned from Elizabeth's small house in the city to the quaint and elegant townhouse where he sat on the couch, gorgeous blue eyes appraising him with a smile.

"Do you like it?" Kurt asked, gathering up the pages that had fallen to Sebastian's feet.

"It's amazing," Sebastian said. "I'm glad you changed the names from Sally and Roy. How did you come up with them?"

"Azimio was this jock who bullied me in high school," Kurt explained, setting down a plate sliced vegetables to go with the hummus.

"And Elizabeth?"

Kurt picked up a baby carrot, twirling it in his fingers.

"Elizabeth was my mother's name."

Kurt nibbled on the carrot stick. Sebastian looked at the stack of pages in his hands.

"Your...your dad wasn't..." Sebastian stumbled over his words. Kurt narrowed his eyes as Sebastian tried to put together his thoughts into a coherent question that he had no right to ask.

"No," Kurt said as realization dawned on his face. "Absolutely not." Kurt shook his head, looking down at the carrot stick again. "It's only a story," Kurt said. "I'm just the one telling it.

Sebastian blew out a sigh of relief as he set the manuscript aside.

* * *

Sebastian didn't want to leave Kurt, and he was thrilled to discover that Kurt didn't want him to go either. Sebastian needed to go to work early in the morning, and he didn't have his uniform with him. Kurt sat in Sebastian's lap on the sofa, rutting slowly up and down over Sebastian's cock, which strained against his jeans, while he kissed down Sebastian's neck, holding his hands fast to his sides.

Unable to touch, unable to grab or hold, Sebastian moaned, an odd combination of fighting and surrendering, like being tortured outside the gates of heaven.

"Are we really this ridiculous?" Kurt asked against Sebastian's neck. "That we can't keep our hands off each other long enough to say good-bye? I mean, I'm going to see you tomorrow, right?"

"When I stop by during work," Sebastian said. Then, he had a thought. "Kurt? Are you going clubbing tomorrow night? You said you go on Mondays, right?"

Kurt looked down into Sebastian's face, his lips swollen from kissing along the stubble on Sebastian's chin, his face flushed.

"I didn't think..." Kurt looked down at the collar of Sebastian's shirt, running a finger underneath it. "Considering...you know...us and everything..."

"I thought, maybe, we could change it a little. You know, turn it into a date night? Make it into our own thing?" Sebastian freed his wrists from Kurt's grasp and wrapped his arms around him. Kurt smiled.

"Yeah," he said, smiling. "I think I'd like that."

It was late when Sebastian finally forced himself away from Kurt's inviting mouth and light touches to make his way to the door, duffel over his arm with the camera and manuscript tucked safely inside.

"I wish you'd let me call for a car to take you home," Kurt said as Sebastian held him in the open doorway.

"It's okay," Sebastian said. "Really. I kind of want to spend some time in the evening air...you know, cool down a little?"

Kurt chuckled, hugging Sebastian tighter.

"It's not going to be the same sleeping without you," Kurt said quietly. Sebastian felt guilty, knowing that the nightmares would return. He sighed. Kurt pulled away.

"Nope," Kurt said, looking into Sebastian's face. "No, I refuse to make you feel guilty. I'm a big boy. I just...you're incredible...and this was the most amazing weekend of my life."

"I'll stay over tomorrow night if you want," Sebastian offered. "I'll make sure I have all my stuff, and I won't leave you."

Kurt smiled.

"I'd like that," Kurt said. He closed the distance one last time and brushed his lips gently against Sebastian's.

"Till tomorrow, gorgeous," Sebastian whispered, lifting Kurt's right hand to place a kiss to his knuckles, his eyes darting along the underside of Kurt's hand. Sebastian's heart stopped. He squinted for a moment to see if he was seeing what he thought he was seeing. Blinking and focusing his eyes, he was sure.

A smooth scar, cutting across the underside of Kurt's wrist.

Sebastian needed to get home. He needed to read the rest of the book.

Sebastian had a feeling that the story Kurt was telling was his own.

* * *

Sebastian ran through the events of the weekend slowly through his mind, reliving every moment - every kiss, every touch, every conversation. But it was always the memory of Kurt in his arms that Sebastian returned to. Kurt lying above him as Sebastian rutted against him. Kurt on the hill top, sitting between Sebastian's legs as Sebastian hummed over his skin. Kurt snuggling beside him while Sebastian worked his hand over him, stroking him slowly until he came with a shudder. The beautiful way Kurt's eyes widened and his face flushed as the heat of his orgasm washed over his body.

Sebastian almost skipped, whistling in the quiet still of the night, when he suddenly realized he felt eyes burning into him, and the prickling sensation of the hairs rising on his neck that told him he was being followed. Sebastian, never one to be intimidated or back down from a fight, turned around to confront his stalker. He saw no one behind him. No one walking, or jogging, no eyes peeking at him from a front yard or through the bushes. Just the dark, quiet street in the direction from where he came.

Sebastian turned back around and continued to walk, but this time he didn't whistle, didn't let his mind drift. He walked with a purpose, but he refused to run. He was a block away from his bus stop when he stopped again. This time he had heard a definite shuffling on the cement. He turned around.

"Hey!" he called out. "If you have something to say, why don't you come out here and say it! Stop following me in the shadows like a bitch!"

His voice echoed slightly of the dark houses and the street. This time, as he scanned the sidewalk behind him, he heard the shuffling again.

Out of the dark, a small pebble struck him in the chest.

As he tried to determine what direction it had come from, another flew from the dark and hit him on the neck. Suddenly, a small rain storm of tiny pebbles flew at him. He had to raise his hands to shield his face and protect his eyes from the gravel that brushed by his cheeks.

Just as quickly as it had started, the storm of pebbles stopped.

The street was quiet and still.

"Is that all you've got?" Sebastian called to his faceless assailant, not caring for a moment that whoever this was might have something worse than a handful of pebbles. He could have a gun. Sebastian couldn't help it. He was angry. He was pretty sure he knew exactly who this was.

"Is that you, you freak?" Sebastian yelled. "If you go anywhere near my boyfriend again, I'll kill you! Do you hear me? Touch him and you're dead!"

Sebastian was panting, realizing he was yelling full force into the dark.

There was a moment of silence before he heard the sound of shuffling, heavy footsteps running in the dark.

* * *

Sitting on the bus, headed for home, Sebastian sent a text to Kurt, asking him to make sure his alarm was set, and his doors and windows locked, relaying the story of the footsteps and the strange attack.

Kurt didn't respond right away, and Sebastian started to get worried. He was going to call, get off the bus and turn around, run back to Kurt's house, but Kurt did reply. When he did, Sebastian smiled.

_From: Kurt_   
_Done and done. All safe here at Fort Hummel...P. S. I miss you :)_

Sebastian kissed the screen of his phone, and the message that was displayed there.

Sebastian texted Kurt well into the night, while he read the manuscript, lying in his boxer briefs in bed. Soon, Kurt's messages started becoming nonsense as he grew more and more tired. His last text message, which he had probably meant to read _'Good night',_ said _'Gudngt'._

Sebastian wanted to smile, but he couldn't. He never thought he would smile again when he read how Azimio tied up his wife, and for thirteen hours beat, tortured, and raped her.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** _Several people have PM'd me regarding how much I am going to delve into Kurt's dark past. I would like to say that chapter 9 is as graphic as I see myself going. I am not a big fan of graphic violence. Kurt's experiences will be addressed as generally as possible, without any specific details of the attacks mentioned. However, some things may be a trigger, or just plain uncomfortable for some readers. With that in mind I will put a warning in place for this chapter. At the beginning Sebastian has a nightmare about the things he has read in Kurt's manuscript. If you feel this may bother you, skip from after the italicized paragraph at the beginning to the part where Sebastian wakes up screaming. I have even bolded that part for you. After that, things should be okay. But again, there are no graphic details. That said, this is a pretty cute chapter with a shower hand job and a little light role playing, so have at it, and tell me what you think. I love you all :)_

 

 

 

_'A bear...a giant...a massive behemoth of a man...Azimio stood a full head taller than his cowering wife, his brown hair plastered to his head with sweat, piercing hazel eyes that had gone black with rage. He reeked of beer, cigarettes, and some other woman's cheap drugstore perfume...'_  
  
That was how Kurt described Azimio, and that monster haunted Sebastian's dreams.  
  
Except in his nightmares, Sebastian stood helpless, watching as Azimio repeatedly beat Kurt, whipped him, burned him with cigarettes. More often than any of these, the raging titan Azimio would tie Kurt's wrists with piano wire and rape him, the full weight of his body pressing Kurt into the mattress, his hands wrapped around Kurt's throat until he stopped screaming.  
  
When he was done with Kurt, the monster locked him in a prison made entirely of thick, black, metal bars. Kurt curled into a ball, shaking and crying, blood dripping in rivers down his legs. Sebastian tried to reach him, held out a hand between the bars to touch him. Kurt looked at Sebastian with wide, frightened eyes, crawling as best he could on weak and bruised knees just out of Sebastian's reach.  
  
This Kurt from the past didn't know Sebastian, knew nothing about his love for him.  
  
This Kurt - beaten, damaged, trapped in a cage - was dying.  
  
Sebastian searched frantically for a crowbar to break Kurt out, but the psycho had returned. The terrifying beast with the hazel eyes but no recognizable face barely regarded Sebastian. Sebastian struck out, hitting and kicking, fighting with every ounce of energy he possessed, but not a single punch connected. With a cruel and evil laugh, like the scraping of metal fingernails down a chalkboard, he attacked Kurt again. Sebastian flailed at the man, but it did no good. He couldn't stop Azimio. He watched in horror as Azimio tied Kurt's wrists, holding him down again, shoving his face into the floor.  
  
 **Then the screaming started.** It rang in Sebastian's ears and threatened to choke him.  
  
It startled him from his sleep.  
  
Sebastian woke to the sound of his own voice screaming. His throat burned - ragged and raw - before he realized he was in his own apartment, the heater blasting, the paint on the walls chipping.  
  
There was no Kurt and no Azimio.  
  
Just Sebastian - weak, helpless Sebastian - crying, impotent, unable to fix or change anything.  
  
His rage rushed over him like a tidal wave, his face hot and wet from crying, his voice hoarse from calling for Kurt in his sleep. He picked up the first thing he saw - a two dollar WalMart coffee mug - and threw it against the wall, watching it shatter, disintergrate with the force of his throw.  
  
His sheets clung to his sweaty skin, threatening to suffocate him. He needed out.  
  
He needed Kurt.  
  
He looked at his digital clock.  
  
Exactly midnight.  
  
He didn't even think. He grabbed his packed duffel and tossed in his uniform. He threw on an old pair of Harvard sweats and a beat up Carhartt jacket he got at the thrift store. Shoving his phone and his keys in his pocket, he grabbed his duffel and ran out the door. He knew the buses didn't run after midnight, but that didn't matter. He wouldn't have waited even if they did. He needed to run. He needed the air searing his lungs to tell him that he wasn't dreaming; he needed the cold wind to dry the tears in his eyes.  
  
Sebastian focused, forcing his mind to see the neighborhoods and the streets the way he did when he sat on the hill top with Kurt - all the back streets and alleys, all the places he could cut through and the fences he could scale. He ran at full speed and didn't stop until he bolted through the black iron gate and stood before the Victorian door.  
  
He didn't want to frighten Kurt by ringing the bell, so he called his phone instead.  
  
Sebastian never thought he would actually pray for Kurt to have a nightmare; pray that he was sitting up awake, trying to recover from the pain.  
  
The phone rang and rang, eventually going to voice mail. Kurt used the default computer message. Not even a recording of Kurt's soothing voice to calm his frayed nerves.  
  
Sebastian called again, and this time, a sleepy sounding Kurt answered on the third ring.  
  
"Sebastian?" The weary voice sounded confused.  
  
"Kurt?" Sebastian couldn't hide the tears in his voice.  
  
"Sebastian!" Kurt sounded as if he had snapped. "What's wrong, baby?"  
  
"Kurt?" Sebastian gulped in the cold air, trying to steady himself. "Kurt? Can you open the door?"  
  
"Are you outside?" Kurt asked, and Sebastian could hear the sound of Kurt's bedroom door unlocking; the syncopated thud-thud as he made his way down the stairs.  
  
Sebastian pocketed his phone and waited for his angel to unlock the door.  
  
The door slowly creaked open and Kurt's blue eyes peered around it.  
  
"Sebastian!" Kurt gasped, looking at the man in the faded sweats, his hair shaggy and unkempt, staring back at him. "Is everything okay?"  
  
Sebastian looked at his Kurt. He had showered since Sebastian had seen him last, and he had changed into a clean green t-shirt and soft looking gray flannel pants. He looked worried, but otherwise happy to see Sebastian, the wreck that he was, standing on his doorstep. He wasn't screaming, he wasn't crying, he wasn't bleeding.  
  
"I am now," Sebastian said in a broken voice. Kurt opened the door and let Sebastian in. He waited until Kurt had set the alarm and locked the door before grabbing Kurt in his arms and holding him tight.  
  
"Please, please let me stay with you tonight." Sebastian cried into Kurt's shoulder. His tears stained Kurt's shirt as he sobbed openly.  
  
"Of course." Kurt cradled Sebastian in his arms. "Of course you can stay."  
  
Sebastian didn't wait for anything else to be said. He picked Kurt up in his arms and carried him upstairs. He refused to let him go, not even for a second. He managed to open the bedroom door with one hand, walk through, shut and lock it quickly, with Kurt still in his arms. Sebastian dropped his bag along the way, toed off his running shoes, and only when he knew he would need to take off his jacket, did he let go of Kurt, putting him down on the bed.  
  
Sebastian stripped down to his underwear, needing to feel Kurt's body against him. He climbed beneath the blankets and pulled Kurt to him. He looked into Kurt's eyes - wide and caring, but not scared. He looked over Kurt's green shirt and knew what must lie beneath. He read all about it - the burning, the whipping, all of those scars were there, covered by this thin fabric barrier, and Sebastian needed to see. But he couldn't take it off him. Keeping those marks and brusies covered made Kurt feel safe. This thin t-shirt was armor to him. Sebastian balled his hands into fists looking at it. He wanted to hit something. He wanted to hit someone.  
  
But not Kurt. Kurt he adored. Kurt he wanted to protect.  
  
Kurt he loved.  
  
He lay his head down on Kurt's chest. He felt Kurt run his fingers through his hair, trying to calm him. Sebastian closed his eyes, but the nightmare threatened to return. Instead, he ran his hands over Kurt's body, reminding himself that his beautiful Kurt was there with him, safe and sound.  
  
"Sebastian," Kurt whispered. "Sebastian, honey. Please tell me what's wrong."  
  
"I needed you," was all Sebastian could think of to say.  
  
Sebastian caught sight of Kurt's wrist and the thin silvery scar that marred his skin. Sebastian grabbed it, pulling it to his eyes for a better look. Kurt tried to pull his hand out of Sebastian's grasp, but Sebastian wouldn't let go until he had studied it, seeing how it was formed, how thick it was, how deeply it cut through the skin.  
  
Hot tears rushed down Sebastian's face anew. He brought Kurt's wrist to his mouth and kissed it gently with quivering lips.  
  
Kurt sighed.  
  
"You read the book," Kurt whispered.  
  
"I didn't finish it," Sebastian admitted through tears.  
  
"You know she wins," Kurt reassured him, running his fingers over Sebastian's scalp. "She gets free. He goes after her. In the end, she kills him...in the attic of their house."  
  
Sebastian calmed a little, listening to Kurt's soothing voice as he continued to shush Sebastian gently.  
  
"Is...is that how it happened?" Sebastian asked, his voice full of hope.  
  
Kurt sighed and looked out the window.  
  
"No," he replied quietly. "No, it's not."  
  
Sebastian's heart shattered.  
  
Sebastian couldn't stop himself when he started covering Kurt with kisses. He started at his wrist and traveled up his arm. He didn't try to lift Kurt's shirt, content to kiss him over the cotton fabric. He left as many tears as kisses as he traveled up and down Kurt's body. Kurt lay still at first, confused by Sebastian's reaction, overwhelmed by his obvious pain. A small part of him froze with fear, bad memories surfaced of being pinned to his bed in the dark.  
  
But Sebastian's whimpers were unmistakable. The murmured 'I'm sorry's, the broken humming against his skin - they all belonged to the gorgeous man who had tried so hard to put the broken pieces of Kurt back together. When Sebastian finally made his way back to kiss Kurt's mouth, a string of promises tumbled from his lips.  
  
"I'll never hurt you, Kurt." Sebastian sniffled as he kissed Kurt's skin. "I promise, I'll never lay a hand on you in anger. Never. I'll protect you, always, Kurt. Always."  
  
"I know," Kurt said, cupping Sebastian's face in his hands, tears rolling down his cheeks. "I know, sweetheart."  
  
Sebastian couldn't stop. Kurt covered his mouth with his own to quiet him. More kisses over his face, his eyelids, along his hairline, and Sebastian finally calmed down enough to recognize that he had Kurt trapped beneath him. He rolled onto his back, taking Kurt with him, flipping their positions. Kurt laced his fingers with Sebastian's and held their hands down on the mattress, pinning him between his legs as he hovered over the man. Kurt kissed the trails of his tears, as well as the new tears that threatened to fall. He kissed him until Sebastian's breathing stopped catching in his throat, and the shuddering of his chest ceased. Kurt kissed Sebastian until his lips went dry, and his cheeks were sore from smiling.  
  
Kurt kissed away the pain that brought Sebastian to his door. Kurt kissed Sebastian until his eyelids fought to stay open, his breathing evened out, and he drifted off to sleep with Kurt lying over him.  


* * *

  
  
Sebastian only got three hours of sleep, but it was the most amazing three hours of sleep, wrapped in Kurt's arms. Sebastian's phone alarm went off, a strange high pitched tinkling noise that annoyed Sebastian so much he couldn't sleep through it. Kurt groaned, but the radiant smile on his face told Sebastian that he had gotten an amazing night's sleep as well.  
  
"Do you feel any better?" Kurt asked, kissing Sebastian's forehead. Sebastian felt guilty receiving comfort from Kurt. Here he was - unbroken, unbruised, never struck or beaten a day in his life. He had shown up in tears on Kurt's doorstep in the middle of the night, and Kurt had taken him in, taken care of him.  
  
"Yes," Sebastian said with a smile, clamping a playful hand onto Kurt's ass. "I feel much better."  
  
Kurt rolled his eyes, which sparkled in the low light as he looked at Sebastian. Kurt didn't judge him. He didn't care about the what or the why that had brought Sebastian to his door. He only cared that Sebastian had come to him, and had spent the night lying beneath him.  
  
Kurt looked positively ecstatic. Sebastian wanted to chuckle at the joy on his face.  
  
This was what Sebastian wanted for his future - every day waking up in Kurt's arms.  
  
The fact that falling in love with Kurt had happened so quickly scared the crap out of him.  
  
Kurt wrapped his arms around Sebastian's torso, and kissed along his neck, humming happily.  
  
"Go take a shower," Kurt commanded, bouncing off the bed and limping across the floor. "I'll make breakfast."  
  
Sebastian watched Kurt crawl off the bed with an energy that he didn't understand.  
  
"Kurt, honey," Sebastian called, trying to stop him, "you don't..."  
  
"Can't hear you," Kurt interrupted, hobbling out the door.  
  
Sebastian laughed at his adorable boyfriend. He had to work hard not to think about the story he had read last night, Kurt's story. He almost had to keep himself from blinking so as not to picture that faceless monster and all the horrible things he had done to Kurt.  
  
Sebastian grabbed his duffel and went to the bathroom. Kurt's bathroom had to be the cleanest bathroom he had ever seen. He marveled over it every time he saw it. In fact, clean wasn't an appropriate word to describe it. Immaculate fit the bill much better. The whole room was white to boot. The first time Sebastian saw the room, he was afraid to even wash his hands. He found himself wiping down the sink and scrubbing the toilet bowl every time he used it.  
  
It was such a treat showering in a place that never seemed to run out of hot water, and where a magical thing called water pressure existed. The best thing about showering at Kurt's house had to be using all of his various products. This way, Sebastian smelled like Kurt for the rest of the day.  
  
Sebastian stood with his hands resting against the tile, leaning with his arms locked as he pressed his weight into the wall, letting the water fall over his back. The heat worked at the knots in his muscles, loosening his stiff joints. It felt good, but it didn't really help him relax. The rushing water thundered in his ears so that he barely registered the sound of the bathroom door opening, and then clicking shut. With his eyes squeezed shut as he tried to clear his mind, he didn't notice when the lights dimmed.  
  
He did feel the hand that touched him gently, and ran slowly down the curve of his spine.  
  
Sebastian smiled.  
  
"Hello, gorgeous," Sebastian said. He wasn't sure what Kurt had planned, but whatever it was, he couldn't wait.  
  
"If I asked you for a favor," Kurt asked quietly, "would you do it for me?"  
  
Kurt's sultry voice surprised Sebastian, and he smiled even wider.  
  
"Anything for you, gorgeous," Sebastian replied.  
  
"Stay the way you are," Kurt requested. "Don't move your hands, or open your eyes."  
  
Sebastian laughed fondly.  
  
"If that's what you want."  
  
Sebastian heard Kurt pull aside the curtain and step inside the shower. Kurt put his hands on Sebastian's back, dragging his nails slowly from his shoulders to his hips, and then back again. Sebastian moaned, arching his back at the delicious sensation. Keeping his hands in place and his eyes closed became torture as he imagined his incredible boyfriend, who had joined him in the shower and stood a mere foot behind him, completely naked.  
  
Kurt closed the distance between them and pressed his naked front against Sebastian's wet and overheated back. Sebastian threw his head back, but kept his eyes closed.  
  
"Oh, Kurt," Sebastian groaned. "Oh, God, Kurt! You're going to kill me!"  
  
Kurt giggled.  
  
With the slippery water falling between them, Sebastian felt every part of Kurt pressed against him - his muscular legs, his flat stomach, his gloriously sculpted chest, and his magnificently hard cock, wedged perfectly between the cheeks of Sebastian's ass.  
  
Kurt reached for the soap and lathered his hands. Sebastian felt Kurt's fingertips slide up his chest, stopping for a moment to trace lazy circles around his sensitive nipples. Sebastian rolled his head from one shoulder to the other, enjoying the sensation of Kurt lavishing attention on his body. Kurt's hands traveled down Sebastian's stomach, and one hand gripped his hip, the other settled over his cock.  
  
Sebastian moaned low in his throat, praying that Kurt would wrap his beautiful long fingers around his aching cock.  
  
"Do you mind?" Kurt asked sweetly. He took Sebastian's cock in his hand and started to stroke slowly.  
  
"Mind?" Sebastian laughed. "Sweetheart, you can do that whenever and wherever you want."  
  
"Wherever?" Kurt asked with a grin.  
  
"Yup," Sebastian groaned as Kurt tightened his grip and moved his hand a little quicker. "Grocery stores, churches, bus stops, funerals, sporting events, children's birthday parties..."  
  
Kurt laughed out loud.  
  
"I think I get the picture," Kurt said with a chuckle.  
  
Sebastian wanted to move against Kurt, to feel that beautiful cock rutt between his cheeks, but he didn't know how to ask. He promised not to move, and he wouldn't. Every step forward with Kurt was an exercise in not fucking up.  
  
He didn't have to ask, though. Slowly, ever more slowly than he would have, Kurt began to move, his hips sliding up and down, slowly dragging his hard cock over the crack of Sebastian's ass, brushing just barely over his entrance.  
  
Sebastian was a top. He'd always been a top. But this attention to his entrance, this light teasing over his hole, had him imagining being topped by Kurt, having Kurt be his first.  
  
"Oh, Kurt," Sebastian moaned, his voice broken and higher than normal. Kurt rested his forehead against Sebastian's back, biting his lip as he let Sebastian's voice ring through his ears.  
  
"You know," Kurt started, whispering seductively, "you really do have an amazing body. I'm so lucky to call you mine."  
  
Sebastian gasped.  
  
"I feel the same way," Sebastian confessed. "I feel... _oh God, Kurt_...so lucky to call you mine..."  
  
Tiny rivulets of water fell over Sebastian's body in the most erotic way. He felt Kurt kiss down his spine, caressing his skin with the flat side of his tongue. Sebastian felt so relaxed and yet so on edge.  
  
"God, Kurt," Sebastian shivered with every pass of Kurt's hand. "I want you so bad. You're so amazing...so beautiful."  
  
"But, you can't see me," Kurt joked, but his voice hitched, breaking as he chased his own orgasm.  
  
"I don't have to see you, Kurt." Sebastian felt heat coiling within him, waiting to spring free. "I memorized every inch of you the first time I met you."  
  
Sebastian heard Kurt gasp. He felt Kurt's hips stutter against him, felt him spill over his skin. That feeling of heat and abandon, the slight falter of Kurt's hand as he fought to continue stroking Sebastian sent him spiraling towards completion. Kurt's small gasps, his breathy moans, and the feeling of his body pressed close, pushed Sebastian to the brink. He came, his arms almost failing beneath his weight, Kurt wrapping an arm around his waist to keep him from slipping.  
  
Sebastian inhaled deeply, trying to steady his breathing, the need to turn and take Kurt into his arms too strong.  
  
"I...I want to see you," Sebastian said with a shuddering breath. He felt Kurt smiling against his skin.  
  
"Not today, love. Maybe soon...but, not today."  
  
Sebastian sighed, staying perfectly still so that Kurt could step out of the shower without Sebastian seeing him. Kurt kissed Sebastian's back gently, and a moment later, Sebastian heard the curtain slide open and felt Kurt leave, stepping out of the shower quickly. Sebastian decided he wouldn't move until he heard the door open and shut. He felt something cold and hard touch his hand. He reached around and took the object from Kurt's outstretched hand. When the lights became bright again and the door clicked shut, Sebastian opened his eyes to see the object he held - a tiny rounded tumbler of orange juice. Sebastian chuckled and shook his head. He emptied the glass in one breath, and begrudgingly turned off the water.  
  
Sebastian dressed in the bathroom, not eager to leave the warm confines of the cozy room. He rubbed his head vigorously with the fluffy white towel Kurt had left for him. He stepped out with his duffel, and saw Kurt leaving the bedroom, dressed back in his gray flannel lounge pants but with a new white t-shirt, his hair still damp, but perfectly styled.  
  
Sebastian chuckled when he saw how primped and perfect his boyfriend could manage to look at this hour of the morning. Kurt smiled when he heard Sebastian laugh, walking up to him and wrapping his arms around his waist.  
  
Sebastian eyed the doors to the two rooms he had yet to see.  
  
"Kurt?" Sebastian continued to dry his hair with the towel, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. "What are these other doors?"  
  
"Hmm?" Kurt looked at the doors as if just noticing their existence. "Well, the one all the way at the end goes to the attic. I keep it locked because the first year I lived here I had bats."  
  
"Eww," Sebastian commented.  
  
"Yeah, not fun..." Kurt eyed the remaining door. "And that room..." Kurt sighed, "is where I keep the dead bodies."  
  
Sebastian knew Kurt had to be joking, but he said it so calmly, so seriously, it gave Sebastian a moment to pause.  
  
"Really?" Sebastian asked.  
  
Kurt laughed, but the smile on his face did not reach his eyes.  
  
"Sort of," Kurt said. He sighed deeply. "It's just full of old ghosts. I keep it locked so I don't have to deal with them." Kurt left it at that.  
  
Kurt pulled Sebastian down the hall and down the stair case, leading him to the kitchen.  
  
"Oh, Kurt," Sebastian said. "I'm going to run late if I stay for breakfast."  
  
"No, you won't," Kurt said with a superior grin. "I called for the car. It will be here in half an hour."  
  
Sebastian smirked.  
  
"Madeline's going to have it out for you after this, you know."  
  
"Eh, she needs to earn her keep," Kurt said as he went to the warmer and dished out a plate of eggs and sausage, and a homemade cinnamon bun. "Besides, I made extra. You can give her some as a peace offering."  
  
Kurt sat at the table with Sebastian, nibbling on his own cinnamon bun as he watched Sebastian eat. Kurt smiled to himself, happy to have someone to cook for again.  
  
Kurt chewed thoughtfully, his mind wandering on a subject he wanted to broach. He just didn't know how. He couldn't remember discussing it with anyone else.  
  
"What's up, gorgeous?" Sebastian asked, taking his empty plate to the sink to wash it.  
  
"Uh, nothing really." Kurt put his own plate down and folded his hands in his lap. "I just...there was something I wanted to say, but I'm not really sure it's breakfast conversation."  
  
Sebastian chuckled as he dried the Wedgewood plate and put it back with the others.  
  
"Well, unless you're going to talk about getting something lanced, I'm pretty sure you're okay." Kurt made a face as Sebastian pulled out the chair next to him and sat in it.  
  
"Go ahead, sweetheart."  
  
Kurt sighed.  
  
"I just wanted you to know...in case you were wondering...that I'm clean."  
  
Sebastian would have laughed at how cute Kurt looked when he was flustered if Sebastian hadn't remembered what Kurt said about being in the hospital. An accident, he had said. After reading the manuscript Sebastian knew that had been a little white lie. Kurt had been put in the hospital by his boyfriend? His lover? Sebastian didn't know for sure.  
  
He did know the hospital had run a rape kit. That's how Kurt had known.  
  
He said he hadn't had a boyfriend since then, and Sebastian believed him.  
  
"Thanks for telling me," Sebastian said, smiling at the implication.  
  
"Just so you know," Sebastian continued, "so am I."  
  
Kurt looked into Sebastian's eyes, asking silently for an explanation.  
  
"Before I left school, I was in a kind-of sorta relationship." Sebastian looked down at Kurt's lap where he nervously thrummed his fingers against the back of his hand. He didn't want to go into details about the guy he was sucking off so that he didn't need to attend classes. "I found out later that the guy was a pretty huge man-whore."  
  
Kurt laughed, his face turning red.  
  
"Anyway, I needed to know...you know?"  
  
Kurt nodded.  
  
"I'll do it again, though," Sebastian rushed to say. "If you want to come with me, and see the results in person, I..."  
  
Kurt shook his head.  
  
"No, no, that's okay." Kurt looked uncomfortable with the conversation, and just wanted it to end.. "I believe you."  
  
They heard a car pull up outside. The driver leaned on their horn. Kurt winced, wondering how many of his neighbors she woke with that display.  
  
"That's Madeline," Kurt said, grabbing a plain, brown paper bag off the kitchen counter and handing it to Sebastian.  
  
"Now, these are for Madeline. Go play nice and I'll see you at two." Kurt stood and kissed Sebastian, delicately capturing his lower lip between his own, sucking lightly until Sebastian tried to sit back down and take Kurt with him.  
  
"No, no," Kurt taunted. "Go to work, and you can have me later."  
  
Sebastian shivered at those words, smiling wider than he could ever remember smiling.  
  


* * *

  
"You've got to be kidding me, man!" Madeline whined as Sebastian climbed into the car. "You have to be fucking kidding me!"  
  
"Hey," Sebastian said, handing over the bag, "don't blame me. I didn't call you."  
  
Madeline opened the bag and smiled.  
  
"Are these Hummel's homemade cinnamon buns?" she cooed, looking at the gooey rolls piled on top of each other.  
  
"Yup," Sebastian said. "I see you're familiar with them."  
  
"Dude, you are so lucky," Madeline crowed. "He never makes these. _You_ are a well kept man."  
  
Sebastian relaxed in the back seat of the town car, looking back at the upstairs window of the house where Kurt sat at his desk looking over his manuscript. He looked down at the car, still parked at the curb, and blew Sebastian a kiss.  
  
"Yeah," Sebastian agreed. "I think I am."  
  
At two o'clock, Sebastian pulled up outside Kurt's house. He gathered up Kurt's envelopes and bounded for the front door. It opened before Sebastian even reached it. A detached and unamused Kurt stood in the doorway, silently appraising Sebastian. A sinfully tight white button down shirt clung to his torso, paired with an equally tight pair of black jeans. A silvery blue scarf draped loosely around Kurt's neck.  
  
"You're late," Kurt said, his voice icy and hard.  
  
Sebastian stopped short, feeling as if he had been slapped in the face.  
  
"Kurt..." Sebastian started, confused at the change in Kurt's demeanor.  
  
"Excuse me?" Kurt said, stepping out slightly. Sebastian stepped back a bit as Kurt advanced into his personal space. Kurt's cold, unimpressed expression was betrayed by the teasing glint in his eyes and Sebastian realized that Kurt, his Kurt, was role playing with him.  
  
Sebastian's sly, crooked half-grin emerged as he pushed Kurt back toward the house.  
  
"Well, princess," he retorted, "why don't you just sign for these then, and I'll be out of your hair."  
  
Kurt huffed, trying hard to bite back a smile as he grabbed his packages and tossed them onto the little table by the door. Sebastian held out the digital pad, shaking it obnoxiously in front of Kurt's face.  
  
"You're insufferable," Kurt barked.  
  
"Yeah, well, you're a bitch," Sebastian growled. Kurt's head snapped up, his face flushed, his eyes wide. "Can I have my pad back please? I have other packages to deliver."  
  
Kurt finished signing his name and thrust the device back into Sebastian's hands.  
  
"There," he said.  
  
Sebastian winked.  
  
"Thanks again, princess." He pivoted on his heel and began to walk away. He took three steps, and then turned back, seeing Kurt still standing in the door way.  
  
"Actually," Sebastian said smoothly. "I do have one more package to deliver."  
  
"Really?" Kurt said, trying to maintain his ice queen persona, but faltering a little at the sight of a swaggering Sebastian, the full force of his mega-watt smile aimed at Kurt, and a rather impressive hard-on pressing against the zipper of his shorts, visible even with the shirt of his uniform pulled down over it. Kurt swallowed.  
  
Sebastian walked Kurt back into the house and shut the door. Putting the digital pad down, he grabbed Kurt, one hand around his waist, and the other grabbing roughly at his ass. His first instinct was to push Kurt up against the wall, to force him there with his own body pressing against his, but he couldn't.  
  
He held back when he kissed him, ashamed of his own fantasies about being rough with Kurt.  
  
"Sebastian?" Kurt gasped. "I'm not delicate."  
  
"What baby?" Sebastian said as he slowly slid his tongue down Kurt's neck.  
  
"I know what you're doing." Kurt pushed Sebastian back a bit. "And I appreciate you being so gentle with me..."  
  
"But," Sebastian prompted gently.  
  
"I'm not going to break," Kurt assured him. "Sweet and slow is nice, but I want to feel you, Sebastian..." Kurt looked into Sebastian's green eyes, lust blown and sparkling. "I want you to put me up against the wall."  
  
A damn broke somewhere in Sebastian's psyche. He pushed Kurt harder than he intended, and when he did, he immediately stopped, watching Kurt's face for any sign of fear...but there was none. Kurt pulled Sebastian toward him, looping his arms around his neck, threading his long fingers into Sebastian's hair, kissing him hard on the mouth. Sebastian moaned. He grabbed Kurt's left leg and lifted it to wrap around his hip, slotting his own hard cock against Kurt's. Kurt groaned into Sebastian's mouth at the feeling.  
  
"Yes," Kurt whimpered, "yes, yes..."  
  
The old Sebastian Smythe came out to play, undoing the button of Kurt's pants and shoving his hand down the back to cup Kurt's ass.  
  
"God, Kurt," he chanted into Kurt's mouth. "God, you're so gorgeous."  
  
Sebastian moved against Kurt, pinned against the wall and squirming.  
  
"Am...am I really a bitch?" Kurt asked, panting as Sebastian sucked a mark onto Kurt's shoulder.  
  
"Yeah," Sebastian said against his skin, "but, it's really hot."  
  
Kurt bucked slowly against Sebastian, tightening the hold of his leg around his hip as he absorbed Sebastian's dominating touch.  
  
"Someday, Kurt," Sebastian continued in broken gasps against Kurt's neck, "someday I get to fuck you, right? Please, tell me I do."  
  
Sebastian heard Kurt gasp, and moved to pull away, wanting to make sure that Kurt hadn't taken his words the wrong way. Kurt held him, grabbing his ass in his hand and pulling him tighter against him.  
  
"Yes," Kurt wailed. "Yes, you do! Someday soon, yes..."  
  
Sebastian felt himself come hard and fast at the wanton sound of Kurt's voice. Kurt followed him, his body convulsing, trapped between Sebastian and the wall. Sebastian smiled as he held Kurt, cradling him against his own body as he shook and trembled, mumbling adorable nonsense that sounded a lot like Sebastian's name.  
  
"God," Sebastian panted, his breath warm against Kurt's neck, "do we get to do that every day?"  
  
"Or something close," Kurt agreed, laughing. "Now, let's get you cleaned up so you can get back to work."


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for anxiety and a little oral sex ;)

Sebastian longed to get to Kurt again. After their afternoon rendez-vous, Sebastian's mind always found its way back to thoughts of Kurt - his deliciously red kiss-swollen lips, his fire and ice sapphire eyes, his beautifully sculpted body hugged by sinfully skin-tight clothes.

Sebastian's mind replayed over and over in his head that moment when Kurt asked him to play rough. Once Kurt had shut the front door and Sebastian sat in his truck, his mind wandered to the memory Kurt's body trembling, helpless, as Sebastian pinned him against the wall, held him and squeezed him, rutting against him until he fell apart in his arms.

Kurt's need to feel Sebastian made Sebastian literally hungry to see his boyfriend. Sebastian never dreamed he would see this side to Kurt - this playful Kurt who teased him, who begged him to pin him up against a wall while Sebastian had his way with him, the one that might let old Sebastian come out and play from time to time.

Sebastian knew he would have to tread carefully into these new waters, and go only at Kurt's speed, but the thought of his Kurt as a hot-blooded vixen made Sebastian's blood boil.

Sebastian stopped off at his apartment after his shift to shower and change into a new outfit. Then he repacked his duffel for his night with Kurt.

His night with Kurt.

He smiled every time he thought about spending the night with Kurt.

Back in high school and college, one-night stands were Sebastian's addiction - his sex life's bread and butter. He loathed men spending the night, detested the thought of anyone sleeping in his bed. He never wanted a physical connection that extended passed an orgasm. He didn't cuddle, barely kissed, and no one ever heard from him the morning after.

Sebastian thought back on the man he was and realized he'd been an ass.

As guilty as he could manage to feel for the way he treated these naive victims of Sebastian's insatiable appetite, it wouldn't have mattered. He couldn't really feel apologetic for acting like a heartless lothario. As it turned out, the love of Sebastian's life truly did exist.

His angel.

His Kurt.

* * *

Kurt invited Madeline and her boyfriend to join them on their date to make up for waking her so early in the morning. Sebastian started to think that Kurt might actually have a soft spot for the busty redhead, regardless of how many times he complained about her inappropriate behavior.

Madeline drove them in the town car. They picked Sebastian up at his apartment at 8:00 to grab dinner before they hit the club. Sebastian met them by the curb. He knew Kurt cared about him. He wasn't sure whether or not Kurt loved him. Either way, the fear of Kurt seeing Sebastian's apartment forced him out onto the sidewalk at 7:45 to insure that Kurt wouldn't try to come up to his place.

Madeline - dressed in the shortest possible red plaid school girl skirt, white thigh high stockings, and black patent leather platform Mary Janes - bounced giddily on the arm of a mountainous, muscular man; an MMA fighter named Justice. Madeline and Justice, which Sebastian was surprised to discover was not the man's stage name, had been dating for the passed seven years. Sebastian watched them interact over dinner, and marveled at how perfectly they fit together. Where Madeline flirted shamelessly and her mouth seemed to have no filter, this bizarrely calm and incredibly intimidating muscle man was fair minded, well spoken, and polite.

Sebastian also couldn't help but notice that they were the epitome of being in love.

They decided to end the night at the same club where Kurt and Sebastian had first run into each other. Spotting Kurt on the dance floor had become one of Sebastian's favorite fantasies, except in his mind, the evening ended in a different way. Sebastian would find a way to dance with Kurt, cast be damned.

The moment they walked through the door of the club, Madeline dragged her boyfriend to the dance floor. Kurt laughed as he watched the petite woman commanding the massive man.

"I'm going to get a table." Kurt yelled so Sebastian could hear him over the music.

Sebastian nodded.

"I'm going to get a drink."

Kurt kissed Sebastian on the cheek sweetly before making his way through the crowd to a table with a view of the dance floor.

The same blond man Sebastian saw tending bar the first two times he came there was there again tonight, drying wet glasses and mugs with a white dish towel. Sebastian didn't know much about the man except his name - Sam, that he seemed to be straight, he liked working without a shirt on underneath his leather vest, and he mostly spoke to the customers through mediocre impressions. He seemed cool regardless, and he definitely noticed everything.

"So," the bartender said as Sebastian approached, "I see you found your friend."

It took Sebastian a minute to remember that while he had sulked at the bar, waiting for Kurt, that Sam, a la Sean Connery, had struck up a conversation with him.

"Yeah..." Sebastian said with a nod. Feeling a sudden urge to clarify, he added, "actually, more than friends now."

"Really?" the man responded with a genuine smile while he mixed Sebastian's drink. "Congratulations. Though I have to admit I'm surprised. Judging by the guys he hangs with, I didn't see you as being his type."

Sam slid the glass to Sebastian, who took it with a grateful nod.

"Really?" Sebastian smirked. "And what is his type?"

"I don't know..." The bartender looked thoughtful as he turned around and replaced the rum. "Short guys, dark hair, usually curly. Like those guys he was dancing with the first time you were here."

Sebastian's smile faltered as he remembered that night, and those two greasy, dark-haired men with the roaming hands.

"What?" Sebastian started to feel sick. "All the time?"

"Exclusively," Sam replied. "At least since I've been here, and that must be..." The bartender rolled his eyes as he thought, "...going on two years now."

Sebastian looked down into his drink as he considered this information, his smile disappearing.

"But, hey," the bartender said, leaning over the bar and putting a hand on Sebastian's arm,"I'm glad he's got you. You seem like a nice guy, and to tell you the truth, it was kind of sad watching him every Monday. Some of those guys he hit on were real ass hats."

The bartender slid a Shirley Temple across the bar for Kurt, throwing Sebastian a wink.

"Thanks, man," Sebastian said, taking the drinks and moving through the small crowd of people to get to the table where Kurt sat, watching Madeline and her boyfriend move together on the dance floor.

Kurt looked up as Sebastian sat, reaching out for his drink, a blush coloring his cheeks when he realized Sebastian knew his drink order.

"You know," Sebastian began, "I just had a very interesting conversation with the bartender."

"You mean Sam?" Kurt asked, smiling passed him to the man wiping down the bar.

"Yeah," Sebastian continued. "I told him we're together now."

Kurt smiled and took Sebastian's hand.

"What did you guys talk about?" Kurt sipped his drink, picking up a cherry and popping it in his mouth, stem and all. Sebastian watched Kurt curiously as Kurt moved his mouth around the fruit. When Kurt swallowed and reached back up to his lips with his fingers to remove the stem, he plucked it from his mouth, tied in a perfect knot.

Sebastian stopped breathing and swallowed hard. Kurt giggled at Sebastian's wide eyes.

"You were saying?" Kurt said, depositing the knotted stem onto his napkin.

"Uh..." Sebastian found he had lost his place. "Actually, we were talking about you."

Kurt smiled.

"Me?" Kurt said, reaching for another cherry. "What about me?"

Sebastian's eyes followed Kurt's fingers as he twirled the cherry on its stem between two delicate fingers.

"He said that he didn't think I was your type."

Kurt smirked.

"Really?" Kurt said incredulously, dunking the cherry into the carbonated drink.

"Yeah." Sebastian suddenly felt inexplicably bitter. "He said that when you came here, you only danced with one type of guy. Short men, with dark, curly hair..."

Kurt's smile disappeared. Kurt left the cherry submersed in his drink, lifting his fingers to his lips to suck off the last drops of soda. Sebastian wanted to kick himself. Why did Sebastian care as long as Kurt was with him now?

Kurt turned to find Madeline on the dance floor, slow dancing with Justice even though the rapid pace of the music hadn't changed. They swayed, looking deep into each other's eyes. Kurt's eyes misted over as he watched them.

"You know," Sebastian tried to make his voice sound softer, less offended. "You never really explained this ritual to me."

Kurt sighed and pulled his iPhone out of his pocket. Sebastian's face blanched, fearing for a moment that Kurt was calling another car to come take him home.

"Kurt," Sebastian said apologetically, "please, I..."

"You wanted an explanation," Kurt said, looking at the time on his iPhone screen. "Ha," he chuckled humorlessly. "Perfect timing."

Kurt put his phone on the table and looked at it, apparently expecting it to do something.

Sebastian looked at the phone, than at Kurt.

"What..."

"Wait for it." Kurt watched his phone. At ten o'clock exactly, his phone chirped, and a message alert appeared on the screen. Kurt slid the phone across the table to Sebastian. Sebastian looked at the phone, raising a brow.

"Read it," Kurt prompted. "I already know what it's going to say."

Sebastian opened the text message.

_From: Blaine Anderson_   
_Hoping you're okay. If you need anything, please, just call._   
_\- B_

The thumbnail that accompanied the message on the screen was a picture of young Kurt in a tuxedo jacket with a plastic, gold-colored crown on his head, his arms wrapped around a shorter young man, with dark curly hair. The short man also wore a tuxedo. The two of them smiled at the camera that took their picture, their young faces glowing, neither one with a care in the world.

Sebastian stared at the picture, and the message, reading it over and over until he had it memorized.

"Is this him?" Sebastian asked, huffing out a frustrated breath through his nose. "Is this the asshole that hurt you?"

Kurt smiled sadly.

"He hurt me," Kurt said, pulling the phone back towards him, erasing the message. "But no, he's not the one you're angry at."

"Who is he?" Sebastian asked.

Kurt sighed.

"He was my first boyfriend," Kurt explained. "My first love, my first...everything..."

Sebastian looked down at his drink, fiddling with the small straw, stirring the ice cubes in his cup until they became a blur.

"What did he do?" Sebastian asked, not looking back into Kurt's eyes.

"He cheated on me." Kurt pocketed his phone. "Broke my heart."

Sebastian took a long sip of his drink, draining half the glass.

"Forgive me," Sebastian said, his voice tight, "but you look like you still love him."

Kurt looked taken back.

"I think that maybe I still love the idea of him," Kurt explained quietly. "First love and all that. I'm a hopeless romantic." Kurt swallowed, closing his eyes as he recalled the memories of his life with Blaine. "We had planned our whole lives together, our wedding, where we were going to retire..."

When Kurt opened his eyes, they focused passed Sebastian, passed the bar, on some point in the distance.

"Being with him wasn't all bad," Kurt struggled to say. "There will always be a place for him in my heart."

Kurt sniffled, fighting back tears.

"But he cheated on me. That's unacceptable."

Sebastian gazed up at his boyfriend and sighed. His beautiful angel frowned, his pale face a mask of hurt and sorrow, brought on by bittersweet memories and fueled by Sebastian's bruised pride. Sebastian felt like a heel. Tonight was supposed to be about the two of them. _He'd_ suggested it, for Christ's sake. Kurt would have probably been content to stay at home, wrapped around Sebastian's body, lying in bed, watching campy musicals, and kissing all night long.

That suddenly sounded like an amazing idea. Sebastian longed for that kind of evening.

"How long has he been sending you this text message?" Sebastian whispered, trying to sound like a supportive boyfriend and not a jealous ass.

"Every Monday since we broke up," Kurt said, sipping his drink.

"Have you ever thought of telling him to stop?" Sebastian said it before he could stop himself. He really had to stop with the rum.

"I..." Kurt retreated, head down, lips drawn into a tight line, eyes closed. "I wouldn't know what to say..."

_'How about, fuck off, asshole?'_ Sebastian thought. _'That sounds like a good start.'_

"I think he _needs_ to send it," Kurt rationalized. "I think he feels guilty. After he cheated on me, I started dating..."

Kurt stopped short, almost biting his tongue to keep from talking.

Sebastian understood. If Blaine hadn't cheated, Kurt wouldn't have dove headlong into an abusive relationship.

Sebastian found that, much to his disliking, he couldn't hate Blaine.

He just never wanted to hear about him again.

Sebastian watched Kurt fiddling with the cuff of his button down shirt, but it wasn't the cuff Kurt fiddled with. It was the scar. He ran his thumb over it as he sat, head bowed. Watching him silently running his finger over it, Sebastian's heart stung.

Sebastian got up from his seat. He extended a hand to Kurt.

"Dance with me?" Sebastian asked quietly. Kurt looked at Sebastian's hand.

Kurt wanted to move past this. He wanted to move forward...with Sebastian.

Taking his hand would be the first step.

Kurt slipped his hand smoothly into Sebastian's. Sebastian sighed at the soft touch of Kurt's skin against his. Sebastian led Kurt to the dance floor, where a slower song played. Madeline and Justice didn't seem to notice. They hadn't left each other's embrace since the moment they had stepped on the floor.

Sebastian pulled Kurt into his arms. Kurt put a hand on Sebastian's shoulder, and Sebastian held Kurt's other hand over his own heart. Kurt rested his forehead against Sebastian's and sighed, swaying slowly, leaning into Sebastian's embrace.

Kurt's expression barely changed. Sebastian bit his lip, longing to see Kurt smile again.

"Kurt?" Sebastian held Kurt a little tighter. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push you."

The corner of Kurt's mouth tipped slightly into a shy grin.

"I mean, this was your life before I showed up. I have no right to question how you live it."

"I think you're jealous," Kurt teased, his voice still sad.

"Who wouldn't be?" Sebastian teased back. "My gorgeous boyfriend has a stalker! How do I compete with that?"

Kurt's smile grew.

"You don't compete," he said quietly.

Kurt looked into Sebastian's emerald eyes.

"You accept the fact that you've won."

Sebastian breathed in sharply, the teasing tone gone from Kurt's voice.

Sebastian suddenly needed to kiss his Kurt.

He gathered Kurt closer and laid claim to his lips, cradling his head in one hand as he kissed him breathless. Kurt hummed happily into Sebastian's mouth, startled at first by the sharp taste of rum, but he pushed that aside when he recognized that this kiss, agressive and dominant, was also warm and tender.

Sebastian carefully nibbled Kurt's lips - top lip first, then bottom. Kurt's ragged breaths tickled Sebastian's skin and he smiled.

Sebastian didn't release Kurt, didn't let him move an inch. They swayed to the music, pressed as close together as they could get. Sebastian practically carried Kurt in one arm around the floor.

"Are you ever going to tell me who the asshole is who hurt you?" Sebastian asked, caught up in his need to protect Kurt, to claim him, to keep him safe.

"No," Kurt said with a soft smile.

"Why not?" Sebastian asked.

"Because," Kurt said, ghosting over Sebastian's lips with his own, kissing gently between breaths, "someone needs to protect you, too."

* * *

When the night came to a close, both Sebastian and Justice carried their dates to the car. Kurt's ankle started to sting after their fourteenth turn around the floor. Madeline needed to get to work early in the morning. Overwhelmed by her long day, she fell asleep the moment Justice swept her into his arms.

Justice drove the town car back to Kurt's place. Sebastian lounged in the back seat with Kurt cradled against him, breathing softly with his eyes closed. Sebastian smiled at Kurt's beautiful face, so peaceful in sleep, so calm and carefree.

Kurt woke when the town car pulled in front of his house.

"Thanks, Justice," he murmured, pecking the man gently on the cheek before exiting the car. Sebastian's eyes widened in surprise. He patted the man's muscular shoulder before grabbing his duffel and stepping out himself.

"Thanks again for inviting us along, guys," Justice said in his deep, gravelly voice. "We had a great time."

"Take care, Justice," Sebastian said with a wave. "Hope to see you again soon."

Justice nodded before pulling the car away. Sebastian caught up with Kurt who fiddled with his key in the lock.

"So..." Sebastian started as Kurt unlocked the door. "What was that kiss about?"

Kurt's eyebrows shot up as he looked at his boyfriend.

"Oh," Kurt said. "Justice and I have been friends since I moved here. He's the one who recommended the car service where Madeline works."

Kurt locked the door and set the alarm.

"When I first moved here, he worked for the moving company I hired. I kind of unloaded about some of my...problems. He used to come by sometimes to make sure I was okay."

Sebastian nodded, imagining for a moment a frightened, broken Kurt, moving to this house all alone. It comforted him to think that Kurt hadn't been completely alone when he first moved in; that there was someone Kurt could turn to when he was scared.

Sebastian wrapped his arms around Kurt, feeling his body pressed against him, his mouth urgently planting a trail of kisses along Kurt's neck.

"Do you forgive me?" Sebastian asked.

"Forgive you for what?" Kurt's eyelids fluttered closed as he leaned into the touch of Sebastian's mouth.

"For being a jealous, immature ass?" Sebastian ran his hands up Kurt's thighs, ghosting gently over Kurt's swiftly hardening cock on their way up to Kurt's stomach.

Kurt reached out an arm to brace himself against the wall.

"You're kind of cute," Kurt panted, slowly moving against Sebastian's body, "when you're an ass."

Sebastian moaned against Kurt's skin as he sucked a mark to match the one he had made earlier.

"Does that mean you still like me?" Sebastian brought his hand back down to Kurt's thighs, palming his cock through his jeans. Kurt bit his lip, leaning into the heat of Sebastian's palm.

"I...I think I more than like you, Sebastian," Kurt admitted.

Sebastian snaked his free hand around Kurt's waist, melting against Kurt's body as he moved against him.

"More than like me, hmm?" Sebastian whispered into Kurt's ear.

Sebastian unbuttoned Kurt's jeans, slipping a warm hand beneath the waistband to wrap his fingers around Kurt's cock, pumping slowly.

"Oh, Sebastian," Kurt groaned.

"Yes, baby." Sebastian purred low into Kurt's ear, feeling Kurt lose his grip on the wall. "Fall apart if you want to."

Kurt smiled.

"Not without you," Kurt whimpered.

"Upstairs?" Sebastian asked. Kurt, too far beyond saying anything intelligible, nodded instead. Sebastian gathered Kurt up, always too happy to carry Kurt in his arms, and carried him up the stairs.

"Is this becoming a thing with you?" Kurt laughed.

"Yes," Sebastian said without any more thought or explanation.

Sebastian put Kurt down carefully at the top of the stairs. Kurt tried to lead Sebastian to the bedroom, but Sebastian wouldn't follow, one hand roaming possessively over Kurt's body, the other hand gently stroking Kurt's cock. Sebastian pressed Kurt against the wall with his body, marking his creamy pale skin with small bites.

"Sebastian," Kurt whined, "if you don't stop...we're never going to make it..."

"I don't want to stop," Sebastian interrupted, his tongue swirling patterns over Kurt's neck, his lips sucking at him hungrily. "I want to do more, Kurt. I want more of you."

"What...what more do you want?" Kurt asked, bucking slowly into Sebastian's hand.

Sebastian panted, weighing his words.

"Do you trust me?" Sebastian asked, his hand tugging lightly at Kurt's soft, chestnut hair.

Kurt moaned as he chased the feeling of Sebastian's fingers carding through his hair.

"Yes," Kurt choked around another quiet moan as Sebastian twisted his wrist beneath the head of his cock.

"I want to taste you, Kurt," Sebastian pleaded.

Kurt gasped. Sebastian didn't give Kurt a chance to object before dropping to his knees in front of him. He pulled Kurt's jeans down a little farther. Kurt didn't stop Sebastian when he felt him palm his bare ass. He didn't move when Sebastian took a moment to appreciate Kurt's hard cock, standing at attention inches from his twinkling green eyes.

"Gorgeous," Kurt heard Sebastian exclaim quietly, feeling Sebastian's warm breath caress his sensitive skin. Kurt blushed, his head spinning. Sebastian was kneeling before him, languorously sweeping his eyes over his cock, and he had just called him gorgeous.

The first touch of Sebastian's soft lips to Kurt's skin seared him, like lightning striking his body, igniting every nerve, filling him with sparks, electricity racing over the network of his nerves. A gasp of pure pleasure slipped passed his lips and echoed down the hall. His legs threatened to give way the moment he felt the head of his cock hit the back of Sebastian's throat.

Sebastian's hands held him up, braced him against the wall to keep him from falling.

Sebastian sucked Kurt languidly, savoring the taste of him, reveling in the heavy feel of him against his tongue. He moved slowly, taking cues from Kurt's whimpers, searching out the spots that made Kurt moan. Sebastian felt Kurt's fingers as they threaded through his hair, grabbing fistfuls and tugging gently. After the fifth slow suck, Sebastian pulled off of Kurt, gazing up into his face to gauge his reaction. Kurt's head rested against the wall, his face flushed a deep red, his lips parted, panting.

"Is that okay, gorgeous?" Sebastian asked. "Do you like that?"

"Please don't stop!" Kurt said so quickly it sounded like one word. "Just...don't stop!"

Sebastian smiled as he took Kurt back into his mouth. Kurt gifted him with another beautiful, high-pitched moan.

The darkened hallway added a touch of taboo to the erotic experience - like they were doing something forbidden, out here in the open. Out where they could get caught.

Where _he_ could catch them.

Kurt froze at the errant thought. His skin prickled, hair standing on end. His instincts kicked in. He was ready to bolt, preparing to break free from Sebastian's glorious mouth and escape.

In his mind, behind eyes that saw nothing sinister waiting for him in the darkness, Kurt grew angry.

Angry that the memory of the man who turned him from Kurt Hummel, rising star, to Kurt Hummel, victim, could ruin this perfect moment for him. Angry at his body for reacting to the slightest thought of him. Kurt gritted his teeth against his own fight or flight reflexes. He reached out a shaky hand and switched on the light.

The shadows disappeared, the nightmares ran for cover, and the man on his knees moaned.

"God, yes, Kurt!" Sebastian murmured around him. "Let me see you, baby."

"Nngh!" Kurt moaned, enjoying the light bathing over him and the fluttering sensation of Sebastian's hair tickling his stomach.

Kurt felt himself coming undone. His fingernails dug into the wall behind him. He wanted to move, to buck his hips, to feel Sebastian's perfect, hot mouth move faster. Sebastian's hands had his hips pinned. He felt Sebastian smile around him. Sebastian hummed, taking Kurt in as far down his throat as he could and swallowed around him.

_'Oh God,'_ Kurt thought. _'Oh no!'_

Kurt gave Sebastian no warning when he came. It had taken Kurt completely by surprise. He closed his eyes to focus on the slide of Sebastian's tongue around his shaft, lapping lightly at his slit, and then traveling with tiny licks back to the base. When he opened his eyes, the world tilted, and his vision blurred. His body gave way to the feeling of Sebastian's throat clenching around the head of his cock. Kurt's nails scratched jagged lines into the lavender paint on the wall. His back arched, pushing further into Sebastian's throat. He heard Sebastian choke around his girth, but then a sound like a laugh hit his ears.

Not cruel or unfeeling, but genuine, sincere laughter.

Kurt was mortified. He didn't think Sebastian would get angry with him, or hurt him, but some tiny, niggling voice in his head told him that he didn't know for sure. Sebastian pulled away from Kurt with an amused grin on his swollen lips.

"I'm sorry," Kurt said as Sebastian rose to his feet, "I didn't mean...I should have warned you...I..."

"Shh," Sebastian said, kissing Kurt on the forehead. Sebastian leaned close to Kurt's ear.

"You taste like heaven," he whispered.

Kurt looked up at Sebastian in awe, blushing furiously.

How did Sebastian always know the perfect thing to say?

"Kiss me?" Kurt asked gently. Sebastian rubbed his nose tenderly against Kurt's.

"No," Sebastian teased, licking his lips. "All mine. And I don't share...even with you."

Kurt laughed, playfully swatting Sebastian on the arm.

"I think showering may be in order before we move on to round two," Sebastian suggested. "Who do you want to go first?"

Kurt looked at Sebastian through the fan of his lashes.

"If we can do what we did this morning, would you shower with me?" Kurt bit his lip, holding Sebastian's gaze as Kurt waited for him to respond.

Sebastian took Kurt's hand in his, lifting it to his lips.

"Of course." Sebastian kissed Kurt's hand, brushing his lips gently over his knuckles with the barest touch.

Sebastian climbed in the shower first, setting the water temperature as hot as he could stand, and positioning himself beneath the spray while he waited for Kurt.

Deciding to go down on Kurt had been a risk...a gamble...but it had paid off. Those musical moans, the subtle twitch of Kurt's muscles beneath Sebastian's fingers, the way Kurt had abandoned himself to Sebastian's mouth, and the way he tasted...Sebastian groaned at the memory. He replayed all these details in his mind as he waited for Kurt, and cursed at how riduclously fast he became hard.

Sebastian fought to stay still, to will away his hard-on without touching himself, hoping that Kurt might find a way to help him with the problem.

He felt Kurt before he heard him, wrapped up in his daydreams under the pelting water.

"We have to stop meeting like this," Sebastian said, hoping to hear Kurt's demure giggle.

Kurt smiled, kissing along the line of Sebastian's spine.

"Just...stay like this for me. Okay?" Kurt grabbed a bottle of shampoo. Squeezing a bit into his palm, he started to lather the shampoo through Sebastian's hair.

"Hmmm," Sebastian hummed as he felt Kurt's fingers working into his hair, massaging Sebastian's scalp, and rinsing it carefully so as to avoid any soapy water running down his face.

Next, Sebastian felt a soft, warm cloth run over his skin.

"Kurt," Sebastian sighed. "You're going to spoil me." Sebastian relaxed as Kurt continued to pamper him, stretching out his back with his hands crawling up the tile, arching his back like a cat.

"Maybe I like spoiling you," Kurt said. Kurt's eyes followed the line of Sebastian's spine as he stretched, chased the drops of water as they traveled down his smooth form, down over Sebastian's ass and his muscular legs.

Sebastian sucked in a quick breath as Kurt's movements over his body with the cloth became less like cleaning and more like caressing.

"Kurt?" Sebastian moaned as the cloth covered hand inched closer and closer to his aching cock. "Would you please touch me?"

Kurt licked a line up Sebastian's spine as he gently moved his hand over his growing length.

"Actually, I was hoping you might come back with me to the bedroom and help me with something."

Sebastian raised an eyebrow. He longed to turn around and see the expression on Kurt's face, but he had made a promise, and he would never break a promise to Kurt.

"Help you with what, darling?" Sebastian purred, moving his hips, looking for friction against the cloth in Kurt's hand.

Kurt took a deep, steadying breath.

"Can...can I see if you taste like heaven, too?"

Sebastian's breath caught in his throat. His mind race with images of Kurt, his perfect pink lips stretched over him, feeling the warmth of his mouth surround him. He reached a hand to grab Kurt's wrist, to stop his hand touching him before he came from his fantasizing alone.

"You don't have to, Kurt, if you don't..."

"I want to," Kurt said confidently. "You have no idea."

Sebastian was speechless. The 'yes' he so desperately wanted to utter stayed lodged in his throat.

Kurt kissed Sebastian, wrapping his arms around his waist and squeezing him gently.

"You know where I'll be when you make up your mind."

Kurt stepped quickly out of the shower...with Sebastian following only a second behind.

Sebastian didn't even dry himself off completely when he stepped out the bathroom and crossed the hall to Kurt's bedroom.

Kurt had dressed quickly, anticipating Sebastian's decision. Not wanting to be caught naked, he had tossed on a t-shirt and flannel pants, and sat waiting on the bed.

Kurt's eyes were the first thing Sebastian saw when he walked into the room. Hungry, wanting, and full of fire, they followed his body as he approached Kurt. Half way to the bed, Sebastian dropped his towel.

Kurt sucked in a breath through his teeth, his face coloring a bright pink that crept down his neck, disappearing beneath his shirt.

Kurt swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry, his tongue feeling too big for his mouth.

He had seen Sebastian naked in the shower. Why was this different?

But Kurt knew the difference - they were in his bedroom, and Sebastian looked over Kurt's body as if Sebastian were a predator...and Kurt was something he was dying to eat.

"I admire the way you can walk around like that," Kurt confessed with a shaky voice as he looked over Sebastian's body shamelessly. "You seem so comfortable without your clothes."

"I have nothing to hide," Sebastian said, climbing over Kurt's body. He put his hands on Kurt's shoulders, pushing him down. "I have a feeling you don't have anything to hide, either, gorgeous. At least, not from me."

Kurt sighed, his eyes dropping, hooded with shame.

"Kurt," Sebastian said. "You are so beautiful. I don't know how many times I have to tell you."

Kurt's eyes slid one more time down Sebastian's body, and then stared at the white comforter. Sebastian bent low to catch Kurt's gaze.

"But I'll tell you every day...a hundred times a day...until I get you to believe it."

Kurt considered all the things he tried to hide, and how he had started to peel his facades away one piece at a time. He had exposed himself so much to Sebastian so far, and the incredible man still hadn't run away. Kurt decided to strip away one more. He hooked his thumbs under the waistband of his pants and slipped them down his hips, bringing them over his leg and the cast on his foot, and tossed them away.

Sebastian smiled deviously as his eyes followed the movement, grazing over Kurt's bare legs, the definition of his muscles, the same flawless, pale skin as his face and neck, and in a few hidden areas, the disappearing shadows of long ago bruises, almost completely faded.

Maybe Kurt had forgotten.

Sebastian would never tell.

Sebastian grabbed Kurt's hips, burying his face over the bulge in Kurt's boxer briefs, running his mouth over the cotton fabric and blowing hot air over Kurt's cock.

"No, no, no," Kurt taunted with a half-hearted effort at pulling away. "Your turn."

"I don't know," Sebastian said, mouthing over Kurt's erection. "I'm kind of enjoying myself where I am."

Sebastian slipped his hands beneath Kurt's ass, pulling Kurt closer to his mouth.

"Sebastian!" Kurt tried to wiggle free, but Sebastian's hand had him locked against him.

Being trapped, unable to break free, was Kurt's greatest nightmare.

This experience was different. Kurt wanted Sebastian to trap him.

He trusted Sebastian.

Sebastian definitely knew how to turn Kurt into a quivering mess. Sebastian got high off of Kurt's breathy moans and fruitless struggles.

Sebastian nosed down the waistband of Kurt's boxer briefs, and took Kurt in his mouth again. He couldn't help himself. Everything about Kurt was delicious - the sounds he made, the taste of his skin, the way he moved against Sebastian's mouth.

He needed Kurt to cum one more time before he gave in and let Kurt take over.

"Sebastian," he heard Kurt whine, his voice breaking, his hands gripping at the blankets around them. "Sebastian...I..."

Kurt began to moan in earnest, and as much as Kurt fought to be free of Sebastian's grasp, his hips started to buck, burying himself deeper into Sebastian's mouth.

"Sebastian," Kurt repeated over and over, tossing his head from side to side, giggling at one point as he felt himself about to cum. "Yes, Sebastian! I..."

"I know, baby," Sebastian mumbled around Kurt's cock. "Cum for me, baby. Let me taste you again."

It was the vibration of Sebastian's voice around him that sent Kurt into a tailspin, cumming with a shudder down Sebastian's throat. Sebastian swallowed, taking him in greedily, not wanting to let him go, even when Kurt began to whimper, the sucking too much around his oversensitive cock.

With a reluctant sigh, and a kiss to Kurt's thigh, Sebastian released him.

"God," Kurt said, wobbling to get to his knees. "How many more times do you intend on doing that?" Kurt asked with a blissful smile on his face. He crawled beneath the covers, settling under the blankets.

"I haven't decided yet," Sebastian said with a wink, following Kurt, stretching out on his back beside him.

"Well," Kurt said, licking his lips as he ran his hands down Sebastian's body beneath the blanket. "It's your turn now, so no more distractions."

Kurt left a last, lingering kiss on Sebastian's lips before climbing beneath the blanket, crawling down Sebastian's body, to find his prize.

Sebastian felt Kurt's lips engulf him, the heat of his mouth so intense it was almost uncomfortable. Kurt's soft tongue swirled around his shaft, and Sebastian's eyes rolled back in his head. Kurt's technique lacked a bit of the finesse that Sebastian's had, but he had no intention of complaining. Kurt hesitated a bit as he licked lightly from the base of Sebastian's cock to the head, making Sebastian beg for more. Kurt's delicate and experimental sucks and strokes were too hot for words. Sebastian ached to snap his hips, to fuck into Kurt's perfect mouth, but this moment wasn't all about Sebastian's pleasure - it was about Kurt coming in to his own, taking control, and feeling safe expressing his sexuality.

Sebastian recognized all of this, knew that years of Kurt's life had been stolen by threats, pain, and fear. Sebastian was going to be good for Kurt.

He wanted to be a better man for Kurt.

Sebastian reached for Kurt beneath the blanket and ran a hand through his silky locks, tugging gently, running his rough fingertips over his scalp.

Sebastian felt Kurt suck harder, move more confidently. He found a pace he liked and fell into it. Sebastian cupped the back of Kurt's head with his hand, just enough to feel Kurt move. He reached behind him and grabbed at the pillow beneath his head, kneading the soft fabric with his restless hand.

What Sebastian thought might at first be awkward and uncomfortable soon crossed a line to torturously hot.

Sebastian bit his lip hard to make sure he wasn't dreaming. He moved the hand that kneaded senselessly at the pillow down over his own body. He always enjoyed the sensation of his own hand scratching along his own skin, but now he was wishing it was Kurt's soft skin caressing his chest and scratching over his nipples. He had no intention of interrupting Kurt in any way, not when he was so close.

"Kurt," Sebastian moaned, tugging lightly at Kurt's hair, "Kurt, I'm going to..."

Sebastian tugged lightly again, doing the gentlemanly thing and warning Kurt so he could pull off and finish him with his hand.

Sebastian didn't dream that Kurt would grab his ass in both hands and pull him with one thrust down his throat and swallow.

He realized then that his beautiful Kurt had no gag reflex.

Kurt held him tight in his hands, not letting Sebastian move as he swallowed around him.

"Kurt," Sebastian pleaded, his voice a breathy whine, not able to hold back anymore. Kurt giggled - how he had managed to giggle without choking Sebastian would never know. He didn't imagine it could be physiologically possible, but the vibrations from that musical high-pitched laugh tipped him over the edge. Sebastian came embarrasingly hard. He couldn't stop himself even if he wanted to. He had never felt a rush so intense as cumming down Kurt's throat.

Kurt's blessed mouth around Sebastian's cock was worth every other blowjob he'd ever had.

Kurt shyly emerged from beneath the blankets as soon as Sebastian went soft.

As soon as Kurt was within his reach, Sebastian grabbed him and held him, groaning into the crook of Kurt's neck.

"My Kurt," he moaned. "My amazing Kurt."

Kurt laughed.

"I take it you enjoyed that," he chuckled.

"What do you think?" Sebastian asked sarcastically, smiling against Kurt's skin.

"I think..." Kurt said with a shy smile, "that you taste like heaven, too."

Sebastian sighed. Kurt in his arms had become home. It was his only true happiness.

He knew that he would fight to the death to protect it, give everything he had to give.

"Is it alright if I spend the rest of the night kissing you?" Sebastian asked, cradling Kurt close. "And touching you?"

"I'm pretty sure it's a requirement now," Kurt said, looping his arms around Sebastian's neck and rolling him on top of his body, letting his weight settle over him, intent on kissing him through the night.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:** _Warning for some tense situations and some more sex. Also a brief mention of Finn. Note: Bokwa is cardio vascular exercise that teaches dance moves using the letters of the alphabet._  
  
  
Sebastian and Kurt fell into a comfortable routine that felt almost like life. Sebastian spent most nights at Kurt's - his perfect, pale prince wrapped in his arms as they slept, sated and more than content. Kurt and Sebastian had no more nightmares when they slept together, no more early morning panic attacks. On those days when Sebastian spent the night, he would get out of bed early and shower with his boyfriend, still in their own unique way. Then Sebastian would get ready for work while Kurt put together breakfast for the two of them to share. As they ate, Kurt would read the newspaper, and when he found something that interested him, he would read it aloud. Whether Sebastian had an interest in the subject of the article or not, he hung on to every word, simply enjoying the lyrical sound of Kurt's voice.  
  
Sebastian stopped by every afternoon at two o'clock to deliver Kurt's packages. Sometimes Kurt would dress in one of his demure satin gowns, sometimes he would dress up in something skin-tight and too sexy for the afternoon. Either way, Kurt would drag Sebastian inside, drop him on the couch, and make out with him for about half an hour. Sometimes he'd let Sebastian cum...sometimes he wouldn't.  
  
It started to become a game at work to see if Debbie and Louis could spot the new hickeys on Sebastian's neck before he could grab his gear out of his locker at the end of the day.  
  
Weeks between the two seemed to pass like hours. Sebastian spent more time with Kurt than at his own apartment, and even though Kurt tried to convince Sebastian that giving up his place and living with him would be a more economically sound decision, Sebastian felt that the two of them needed separate spaces - regardless of how unused his was at the moment. Sebastian wanted his relationship with Kurt to grow, and eventually be his last, and he reassured Kurt everyday with as many kisses as needed that he wanted forever with him...just him.  
  
Sebastian knew in his heart that Kurt's walls, though starting to topple, would take more time to come down completely. Sebastian told Kurt every day how wonderful and beautiful he was, but spoken words seemed to bounce off him, as if every time Sebastian tried to cover him in compliments and praise, something else, some other voice, crept in to take their place. Sebastian did his best to create as close to a normal life for Kurt. After the fated 'Monday-night-date-night-almost-train-wreck', they switched to a weekly Tuesday night extravaganza, which often times included Madeline and Justice, and ranged anywhere from dinner and a movie to something a little more over the top, like hot air balloon rides and bungee jumping.  
  
Weekends were reserved for them and them alone. The moment Sebastian stepped through the threshold of Kurt's house on Friday afternoon, they were rarely seen or heard from till Monday morning.  
  
Sebastian hadn't seen hide or hair of the creepy jogger again, nor had he been pelted by anything else when he walked alone at night through Kurt's neighborhood, but the thought of the strange man still hanging around had Sebastian on edge. Sebastian knew what hate looked like, and hate that hid its face was one of the most dangerous of all. It schemed and planned while it hid in the shadows and bide its time.  
  
Or maybe Sebastian had just read one too many of the mystery thrillers Kurt kept in the bookcases in his office.  
  
Either way, when Kurt had his cast removed, Sebastian convinced him to give up his morning jog in favor of an evening workout with Sebastian. He even let Kurt convince him to take a Bokwa class with him one night a week.  
  
It was fun going to the class with Kurt, but he hated the alphabet now.  
  
Regardless of how much time they spent together and how much they opened up to each other, there seemed to be something missing. Kurt trusted Sebastian with his body, his heart, and his love. Still, a fear festered within Kurt's mind that if he lifted all the facades and Sebastian saw everything, he would leave.  
  
The thought of Sebastian leaving him alone paralyzed Kurt. It pushed all other thoughts aside. On the rare nights that Sebastian didn't spend with Kurt, a new nightmare haunted him; Sebastian would see Kurt's final secret, and he would leave. He would give up on him. He would walk away and never look back.  
  
Over a month had gone by since they had first met, and Kurt still couldn't take his shirt off for Sebastian.  
  
Sebastian had to find another way to reach Kurt, some way that Kurt's mind would be able to fully comprehend. Something that Kurt could digest over time, at his own speed, and maybe, bit by bit, Sebastian would get through to him.  
  
As soon as he thought of it, he put his plan into action.  
  
These professions of Sebastian's love had been walking into Kurt's house, right beneath his nose. Kurt just hadn't noticed yet.  
  
It was Friday night, and Sebastian decided to brave cooking dinner for Kurt. That morning, having no other friends other than Kurt to talk to, he struck up a long and somewhat embarrassing conversation with Louis. He discovered, to his surprise, that the man, youngest of seventeen siblings, had also worked as a chef in his native San Salvador.  
  
Sebastian's truck had been acting up, and Louis offered to show him how to fix it. With his head under the hood, he told Sebastian about his childhood, growing up with a French grandmother who he was named after, and the modest restaurant she owned that supported the small family after his father died and his mother became ill. Old Sebastian, the one who couldn't really be too concerned with any one else's lives or problems, would have rolled his eyes and tuned him out. New Sebastian, eyes opened by the time he had spent with Kurt and the insight that time had given him, listened to every word the man spoke. Sebastian left the lot before sunrise with a recipe for pupusas and empanadas, as well as a new photo for his collection - a black and white image of the older man, sleeves rolled up, wiping his brow with the back of his left hand as he peered into the engine of Sebastian's truck. Most of all, he took with him a new appreciation for this man that he worked with, and a burning desire to someday photograph the beautiful village in San Salvador where Louis had grown up.  
  
After work, Sebastian showed up at Kurt's house carrying six overfilled grocery bags. Kurt opened the door and stared at Sebastian with an amused grin as the man shuffled his way into the kitchen and started preparing food. Sebastian tried to look pro as he fumbled through Kurt's kitchen, but Kurt couldn't help but see Sebastian peeking at a worn piece of lined paper that he pulled from his pocket from time to time when he thought Kurt wasn't watching.  
  
Kurt would never tell.  
  
Things went smoothly once the first and only gas fire had been put out. Sebastian and Kurt talked about their days, omitting, of course, the blow job that Sebastian had given Kurt that lasted almost an hour at two o'clock that afternoon. Sebastian told Kurt all about his talk with Louis that morning, and showed him the photo he had taken.  
  
Kurt flipped through Sebastian's recent photos as Sebastian started plating their food and bringing it to the table. Before the photo of Louis there was a picture of the sky at sunset, dotted with multi-colored balloons, which Sebastian had taken from their own hot-air balloon. Another series of photographs were of Justice, wrapped in a harness, leaping from a bridge with Madeline cheering him on in the background. If Kurt flipped through the pictures quickly, it almost looked like a movie. There were a group of portaits of Madeline that Sebastian had taken as a favor to Justice. Kurt wasn't necessarily a big fan of boudoir photography, but these pictures were tasteful and artistic, and he had to admit, Madeline looked beautiful.  
  
If Sebastian were bi, Kurt would definitely be jealous.  
  
Kurt flipped through a few more and saw a series of black and white photographs that made his blood turn to ice. Scrolling through them, Kurt's eyes burned, fire igniting their sapphire depths.  
  
An arm, delicately posed across a pillow, shadows dancing along the wrist and the fingers. He flipped again and he saw a leg, muscular, well-defined, slightly bent, part of it hidden beneath a blanket somewhere out of frame. Another flip and he saw a part of a stomach, peeking out from the space between a shirt hem and a waistband, the skin smooth and almost perfect. Kurt's eyes began to water, his lower lip trembled.  
  
Here it was for him to see. His new life, over.  
  
Kurt wondered if this beautiful man with the fair skin and the exquisite hands was another customer on Sebastian's route, maybe someone else he delivered daily packages to. He flipped through the photos, pressing the button almost violently, tears running down his face. A close up of a hand with perfectly manicured nails, the gentle curve of a hip as it blended into a thigh.  
  
As he looked at the photographs, almost thirty so far, with quiet sobs shaking his chest, only then did Kurt realize that Sebastian stood above him silently, watching.  
  
Kurt snapped his head up to catch Sebastian's emerald gaze and what Kurt saw made him furious. Sebastian didn't even have the dignity to look ashamed. His eyes challenged Kurt's, daring him to say something.  
  
"Who is he?" Kurt asked, hands shaking as they gripped the camera with white knuckles. "Who the fuck is this, Sebastian?"  
  
Sebastian smirked, but his expression wasn't cruel.  
  
"Don't you know?" Sebastian asked, sounding somewhat surprised.  
  
Kurt scoffed.  
  
"How am I going to know who this asshole is, Sebastian?" Kurt cried.  
  
Sebastian's face fell.  
  
"Don't call him that," Sebastian said calmly. "The man in those photographs is the kindest, most compassionate, most beautiful person I've ever met."  
  
The next words out of Sebastian's mouth skewered Kurt.  
  
"He's the love of my life."  
  
Kurt choked, a strangled sound like the last breath of a dying man.  
  
Kurt wanted to throw the damn camera, break it into a million pieces, but he couldn't move.  
  
Sebastian took the camera out of Kurt's frozen grip, and knelt at his feet.  
  
This is what this stupid dinner was all about, Kurt thought. He was breaking up with me. And these pictures. - this is how he chose to do it.  
  
Kurt never thought Sebastian could be so callous.  
  
"Kurt," Sebastian started. Kurt steeled himself for what would follow.  
  
 _'You're broken. You're weak. Who would want you? You're sloppy seconds...dried up...done...'_  
  
"You never look at yourself in the mirror, do you?"  
  
Kurt's hurt, confused eyes burned into Sebastian's cool green gaze.  
  
"What?" Kurt snapped.  
  
Sebastian flipped through the photos as he talked.  
  
"You have the vanity mirror upstairs, but nothing full length. You never look at yourself. You don't seem to know how perfect you are."  
  
Sebastian turned the camera so Kurt could see the picture on the screen. Kurt had seen the photo of a hand, dainty fingers curled slightly, bathed by sunlight from a hidden source, but this time Sebastian had zoomed in to make the image more clear.  
  
Kurt darted his eyes away. He didn't want to see Sebastian's beautiful lover.  
  
"Kurt," Sebastian pleaded quietly. "Please look at the picture."  
  
Kurt swallowed hard, but the lump in his throat wouldn't go away.  
  
If this was his punishment for falling in love, he might as well take it and get it over with.  
  
He would have preferred if Sebastian had just hit him and left.  
  
It would have hurt less.  
  
Kurt looked at the photo on the screen, but the details were hard to make out through his hot, overflowing tears. He saw the pad's of the man's fingers, the delicate curve of his hand, palm slightly closed as if it had been holding something, and across the wrist, a tiny silver scar.  
  
Kurt's cheeks flushed with color.  
  
He took the camera again and stared at the photograph, noticing things that anger and humiliation hadn't allowed him to notice before - the pattern on the pillow case, the freckle on the palm, and that silver scar.  
  
The hand was his.  
  
"I was putting this together for you," Sebastian admitted. "I took them while you slept." Sebastian huffed out a laugh. "You know, saying that out loud makes it sound kind of creepy."  
  
Kurt flipped back through the photos and looked at each one again with a new attitude.  
  
He barely recognized himself. Sebastian was right. He never did look at himself, not naked at least. He got up in the morning and dressed himself before looking at his reflection in the mirror. It had been a long time since he had paid attention to his bare skin.  
  
A whole life time had passed since he could look at himself and think he looked anything other than grotesque and damaged.  
  
He started at the beginning, and flipped through each one. When he finally reached the end, he saw picture he had missed - his own sleeping face, eyes closed, long lashes fanning out above his cheeks, his chestnut hair falling lightly over his forehead.  
  
 _'...the kindest, most compassionate, most beautiful person I've ever met.'_  
  
Kurt smiled, repeating the words in his head.  
  
 _'He's the love of my life.'_  
  
Kurt bit his lip and looked at Sebastian, who looked back at him expectantly, like he had just told Kurt the most fascinating riddle, and was waiting patiently for Kurt to figure it out.  
  
"You...you said that I'm..."  
  
Sebastian nodded, emerald eyes smiling.  
  
"Is it true?" Kurt asked, a tiny twinge of doubt creeping into his angelic voice.  
  
"Yes, it's true," Sebastian said unabashedly. "It's been true for a while. I just didn't know how to tell you."  
  
"Sebastian..." Kurt shook his head with disbelief as he stared at the pictures. Sebastian had prepared himself for this. Had prepared himself for the moment when he told Kurt he loved him, and Kurt didn't say it back. It was alright if Kurt didn't say it. Sebastian knew that Kurt needed time.  
  
He just hoped he didn't lose Kurt because of it.  
  
"Kurt, I know that..."  
  
"I love you, too," Kurt said, shutting off the camera and cradling it against his chest. Kurt sighed deeply, and closed his eyes.  
  
"What?" Sebastian asked, needing to hear it again.  
  
Kurt opened his eyes.  
  
"I love you, Sebastian," Kurt repeated. "I love you."  
  
"Are...are you sure?" Sebastian asked.  
  
Kurt smiled.  
  
"Yeah," Kurt said nodding, rolling his eyes and smiling. "Pretty sure."  
  
Sebastian took the camera and set it aside. He brushed Kurt's hair out of his eyes, and then ran a thumb down the tracks of his tears, carrying the last remaining strays away.  
  
Sebastian's lips against Kurt's felt different this time. Instead of just intense and overwhelming heat, an undercurrent of something else simmered, rising to the surface as Sebastian traced the contours of Kurt's mouth with his tongue. Each gentle kiss, placed just around the seam of Kurt's lips, was followed by a softly whispered, "I love you...I love you...I love you..."  
  
Sebastian caressed Kurt's head tenderly, cupping it in his hands as he stared into Kurt's eyes.  
  
"I would never...never cheat on you, Kurt." Sebastian swallowed hard before continuing. "All I want in this life is you...wonderful...magnificent...sexy as hell...you."  
  
Kurt laughed, watching as Sebastian looked up a moment, biting his lip - the look he had when he got an idea. He picked Kurt up in his arms and carried him to the sofa, depositing him carefully on the cushion. Without a word, Sebastian started unbuttoning Kurt's pants.  
  
"Wait?" Kurt said with wide eyes, laughing as he fought to sit up. "Isn't dinner going to get cold?"  
  
"Probably." Sebastian pulled Kurt's pants down below the swell of his ass and wrapped his arms around his waist, sinking his head into Kurt's lap. "But I'm sure it'll taste just as good reheated."  
  
The first gasp to escape Kurt's lips after the heat of Sebastian's mouth took him wasn't just the sound of Sebastian giving pleasure to the man he loved, but the man he knew for certain now loved him back.

* * *

  
  
After dinner and a long hot shower, Sebastian sat on the sofa reading another one of the mystery thrillers Kurt kept in his office upstairs, while Kurt copied the photos from Sebastian's camera to his laptop. Sebastian had long finished Kurt's manuscript, and even though he kept the copy Kurt had given him, for his own sanity, he decided not to open it again.  
  
"You know, babe," Kurt said as he finished downloading the last of the photographs, "you have an amazing talent."  
  
"Thank you," Sebastian murmured as he continued to read.  
  
"I'm serious!" Kurt closed his laptop and slid it under the couch. "People should see these."  
  
"You see them," Sebastian muttered, "and you're people."  
  
"Other people," Kurt smirked.  
  
"What other people?" Sebastian turned a page.  
  
"Well, you can start a blog," Kurt suggested. "And the foundation for the arts downtown has competitions for unknown artists a couple of times a year..." Kurt put a finger to his chin as he thought. Suddenly, he was struck by a sudden stab of inspiration. "Oh! I know! My publishing house buys stock photos. Maybe you can sell a few of the more...you know...generic ones."  
  
Kurt worried that Sebastian might take offense to the term 'generic', but when Kurt looked up at his boyfriend, he didn't even seem to be paying attention.  
  
Kurt leaned over, looking at Sebastian, eyes glued to the book in his hands.  
  
"Oh, Sebastian," Kurt said, his voice smooth and seductive, "why don't you carry me upstairs like the caveman you are and fuck me on my hands and knees?"  
  
Sebastian's head snapped up. He tossed the book to the side, and grabbed Kurt up in his arms.  
  
Kurt laughed, smacking Sebastian playfully.  
  
"Okay, okay! You were listening!"  
  
Sebastian sat back down on the sofa with Kurt in his lap, holding him in place, kissing him softly.  
  
"So, are you really enjoying this book or something?" Kurt picked up the abandoned book, and looked it over. " _Island of Fear_." Kurt read the dust jacket before handing it back to Sebastian. "You read the other two in the series last week, didn't you?"  
  
"Yup," Sebastian said, opening the book to stick his book mark in its place. "Have you read them?"  
  
"No," Kurt admitted. "They were sent to me by the publishers after they were printed, but I never saw them. Someone else must have pushed the series through. Are you enjoying it? Because I really can't tell."  
  
Sebastian made a face as he turned the book over in his hands.  
  
"I don't know," Sebastian said. "I don't think so. I mean, the first one was good, so I felt obligated to read the rest of them."  
  
"Obligated?" Kurt chuckled. "How do you feel obligated to read a book?"  
  
"I don't know." Sebastian tossed it aside. "I guess I felt invested...or maybe I was just hoping the books would get better, but they only seem to get worse."  
  
"Good to know." Kurt kissed Sebastian deeply. "Now I know not to waste my time."  
  
"So, you know," Sebastian said, idly running his hands over Kurt's jeans, his fingers dancing over the seams. "You never really told me why you chose mystery books. I mean, are they your favorite or something?"  
  
"Not exactly," Kurt said. "If I had a choice, I probably would have picked something to do with fashion, or musical theater, but they don't really have a lot of books coming out about those now, do they?"  
  
Sebastian smiled, shaking his head. He reached for Kurt's hand and started placing a row of light kisses over his knuckles.  
  
"Anyway, the only spot they had available was in mystery and suspense, so I grabbed it. I needed the job. _Oh!_ "  
  
Sebastian turned Kurt's arm over in his hands, lips traveling along his skin to kiss and lick lightly over the scar on his wrist. Kurt used to be so self-conscious of that scar, even though he never really hid it. He felt wearing a cuff or something would just draw attention to it, and since no one ever seemed to notice it, he just let it be. But Sebastian seemed to have a strange fascination with it, and whenever he could, he would touch a gentle kiss to it. The spot was extremely sensitive, and every time Sebastian touched it, time seemed to stand still.  
  
"Do you enjoy it?" Sebastian asked, his voice muffled as his lips traveled up Kurt's arm.  
  
"What?"  
  
Sebastian smiled as he licked at the bend in Kurt's arm.  
  
"Mystery and suspense? After a while, don't they all kind of bleed together? What do you like about it?"  
  
Kurt found it hard to gather his thoughts together while Sebastian sunk his teeth into the soft skin of Kurt's shoulder. Thinking got difficult once all the blood in his head rushed south.  
  
"They're...uh...they're smart...and fun. Being scared can be fun sometimes." Kurt moaned, his hands grabbing for Sebastian's arms as they held him in place. "The best ones... _oh, yes_...are the ones that make you think... _God, Sebastian_...the ones that bend you perception... _right there_...and make you see things in a different way..."  
  
"Like how?" Sebastian asked, toying with the button of Kurt's jeans. When he pulled up and to the left, the button came free of its button hole. He pulled the zipper down. Slipping his hand inside Kurt's jeans, he started palming Kurt's cock over the cotton fabric of his underwear, rubbing firm, slow circles over his hardening length. Kurt rolled his head back on his shoulders, giving Sebastian enough room to latch onto his neck and suck.  
  
"Like how?" Sebastian repeated, smiling as he sucked harder.  
  
"Like...the ones that hide clues in plain sight..." Kurt spread his legs a little, giving Sebastian better access to his cock. Sebastian loved this, loved touching Kurt and having Kurt open up for him.  
  
"What else?" Sebastian asked. The sound of Kurt's voice quivering, becoming quieter as Sebastian slowly slipped his hand beneath the waist band of Kurt's boxer briefs. Kurt gasped at the first touch of Sebastian's cool hand on his overheated skin.  
  
"Th-the ones where the reader... _God, Sebastian_...the reader finds out what's happening w-with the characters..."  
  
"Lay back," Sebastian whispered. Kurt obeyed, stretching out on his back on the tiny sofa while Sebastian continued to stroke Kurt slowly. With one hand, Sebastian pulled Kurt's tight jeans and his boxer briefs down his legs, standing up to pull them off, remembering to lay them carefully over the back of the sofa.  
  
"Sebastian," Kurt whined. "Sebastian, what...?"  
  
"Shhh," Sebastian said, stopping for a moment to pull off his own shirt and slipping it underneath Kurt to save the upholstery of his sofa. "You trust me, right?"  
  
"Of course..." The words were stolen out of Kurt's mouth when he saw his gorgeous boyfriend's bare chest, hair slightly mussed from when he pulled his shirt over his head.  
  
"Then lie back..." Sebastian reached over Kurt's body, pushing him gently back against the sofa. "Relax...and let me enjoy you."  
  
Kurt closed his eyes as he relaxed against the soft cushion beneath his head. He felt Sebastian's hand return to his cock, moving slowly up and down over the length, squeezing lightly as he reached the head. Kurt felt Sebastian's warm breath ghost over his skin. He moaned, anticipating the feeling of Sebastian's tongue touching his sensitive skin. Sebastian's tongue traveled along Kurt's thighs, down to the bend of Kurt's knee, sucking a small mark into the perfect pale skin hidden there.  
  
Kurt moaned, bucking his hips, trying to get friction for his aching cock, which Sebastian simply held, following the movements of Kurt's hips so Kurt couldn't get the relief he wanted.  
  
Sebastian wouldn't torment Kurt too long. He knew he still needed to take things with Kurt slowly. He wanted to build anticipation for his next move, praying it would be as well-received as the last one.  
  
Sebastian ran his tongue back up Kurt's leg. He circled and teased the base of Kurt's cock, without going near where Kurt desperately wanted him.  
  
"Sebastian..." Kurt's high-pitched whine went straight to Sebastian's cock.  
  
"Okay, baby," Sebastian murmured, dragging his tongue down Kurt's body to toy playfully with Kurt's balls. Kurt gasped, holding his breath as Sebastian sucked gently, first one, then the other, while carefully lifting Kurt's legs to rest over his shoulders.  
  
"Sebastian?" Kurt's voice shook a little.  
  
Sebastian ran his tongue down Kurt's crack, spreading his pale cheeks with gentle hands to expose his tight, pink entrance.  
  
Kurt had gone quiet. Sebastian could feel him tense beneath his hands, but he didn't object, didn't tell Sebastian to stop. Sebastian blew lightly over the sensitive skin, and Kurt moaned.  
  
A shuddering, "Yes!" slipped passed Kurt's lips.  
  
Sebastian pressed his tongue against the puckered hole gently, swirling around in a tight circle, waiting for Kurt's reaction.  
  
Kurt drew in a sharp breath as he felt Sebastian's tongue touch him. The sensation was so foreign. He thought that he should feel self-conscious. He couldn't even bring himself to think of the specifics of what was going where. It felt so magical, so amazing. Every pass of Sebastian's tongue sent shivers through his body. He felt like he shouldn't like it, he shouldn't enjoy what Sebastian was doing, but it felt too good to stop.  
  
Sebastian had taken Kurt's breathy gasps and loud moans as cues to go faster, move his tongue deeper...push in harder. Kurt moved his hand to wrap his fingers around his neglected cock, still twitching and aching from Sebastian's earlier attentions. Sebastian beat him to it, gently moving Kurt's hand away as he took his cock and started to stroke slowly.  
  
Kurt gripped the wooden frame of the sofa with his hands, arching his back as pleasure from Sebastian's hand met with the erotic sensation of Sebastian's tongue circling around his hole, plunging in and out. He cried out suddenly, and Sebastian knew he had him. Sebastian smiled as his hand sped over Kurt's cock, pumping him quickly, but the lazy, teasing pace of his tongue remained the same.  
  
"Sebastian!"  
  
Kurt whimpered Sebastian's name over and over, squirming in the hopes of making his tongue move faster, but Sebastian knew what he was doing. He was playing with Kurt, but not in a sadistic way. He wanted every orgasm Kurt had to be better than the last. He wanted to replace every traumatic memory from Kurt's past with the light touch of Sebastian's fingers, the brush of Sebastian's kiss over Kurt's skin, or even his tongue licking gently over hidden spots like this that he knew would make Kurt fall apart.  
  
Sebastian hummed over Kurt's entrance, pressing his lips against Kurt's skin, and Kurt broke. Sebastian felt Kurt cum over his hand, pulling away from Sebastian's mouth when the sensation became too much to handle.  
  
"Sebastian!" Kurt cried after he spilled his last. Sebastian laughed, wiping his hand off on the shirt beneath Kurt's body, and crawling along the floor to Kurt's flushed face.  
  
"How was that, gorgeous?" Sebastian asked, rubbing his nose against Kurt's.  
  
"That..." Kurt said, panting and catching his breath, "should be illegal."  
  
"I think it is in some states," Sebastian chuckled, nuzzling the crook of Kurt's neck. Kurt laughed, looping his arms around Sebastian's neck, and turning to his side so that they fit together perfectly. His eyes drifted down and caught sight of Sebastian's pants.  
  
"Poor baby," Kurt cooed, kissing down Sebastian's neck. "You look like you were close."  
  
Sebastian scrunched his nose and nodded.  
  
"Yeah," Sebastian laughed. "I think I was. I can't help it. All of this gorgeous sounds you make...and they way your skin tastes..."  
  
Kurt ran his hands down Sebastian's back, scratching his nails over his skin, reaching beneath the waistband of Sebastian's pants.  
  
"Maybe I can help you with your problem," Kurt purred, sitting up on the sofa. Sebastian knelt up to give Kurt an easier reach as Kurt slipped his fingers around Sebastian's cock.  
  
Sebastian knew it wouldn't take much. He had been so close when Kurt came. He had considered sticking his hand down his pants to deal with the issue. But Kurt's fingers felt so much better, held him so differently than he would himself. Kurt stroked Sebastian, and Sebastian bit his lip for what he knew would end up being embarrassingly quick. He was already cumming into Kurt's hand when Kurt flicked out a tongue to circle his nipple.  
  
"Jesus!" Sebastian moaned, his head bowed against Kurt's shoulder.  
  
Two strokes was all it took.  
  
Kurt bit his lip and Sebastian raised his eyes to meet his.  
  
"We never speak of this," Sebastian said seriously and Kurt laughed out loud.  
  
"Who am I going to tell?" Kurt said. "Except maybe Madeline...and Justice..."  
  
Sebastian stood quickly, lifting Kurt with him, throwing the man over his shoulder. Sebastian raised a hand to spank Kurt's bare ass, but stopped himself short, his hand flexing in thin air. He turned his head to see Kurt, raised up a little to look into Sebastian's face, catching Sebastian mid-swat. Kurt had a strange look in his eyes, his lips twisted into an odd grin.  
  
"You can...if you want," Kurt said.  
  
"Are you sure?" Sebastian asked with a questioning look.  
  
"Who knows?" Kurt said. "I might enjoy it."  
  
Sebastian bit his lip and gave Kurt an experimental swat across the buttocks, not too hard, but enough to sting.  
  
Kurt yelped, and then moaned.  
  
"Oh my God!" Kurt said quickly. "Do that again."  
  
Sebastian swatted him again, a little harder this time.  
  
"Oh, Sebastian!" Kurt dropped his head back down. "Did you know about that, or were you guessing?"  
  
"I knew." Sebastian blushed a bit. "Maybe we could take this party upstairs."  
  
"Lead the way," Kurt chuckled.  
  
Sebastian carried Kurt upstairs. He sat with Kurt thrown over his lap, squirming to break free. After an hour, Sebastian discovered that Kurt definitely enjoyed a good spanking.

* * *

  
  
"Can I ask you a question?" Kurt curled up against Sebastian and put his head on his chest, lying on his stomach to avoid putting pressure on his sore ass.  
  
"Sure, gorgeous." Sebastian carded his fingers through Kurt's hair. "What's up?"  
  
"You said you had a younger brother?" Kurt broached gently.  
  
"Yup," Sebastian said. "Richard. He has a wife and a kid. Why?"  
  
"Well, I was just wondering, when was the last time you talked to him?" Kurt traced small patterns over Sebastian's bare chest with his fingertips. Sebastian stretched out his arm to rest his hand over Kurt's taut ass.  
  
"I haven't," Sebastian admitted. "Not since my dad disowned me."  
  
Kurt sighed.  
  
"What's wrong?" Sebastian asked, remarking on Kurt's change in mood.  
  
"I know that your dad gave him the whole inheritance, and that must suck, but...I think that you should talk to him." Kurt concentrated on his fingers as they danced over Sebastian's skin, avoiding the green eyes that stared up at the ceiling.  
  
Sebastian sighed.  
  
"I've thought about it," Sebastian admitted. "I mean, he didn't ask for this. I can't imagine the amount of pressure he must be under. I'm sure now that I'm gone that dad will expect him to take over the business, and he wanted it less than I did."  
  
"Sebastian," Kurt said quietly. "I had a brother...a stepbrother, actually. His mom married my dad when we were in high school. His name was Finn. He was one of my best friends. He was kind of like a super hero..."  
  
Kurt chuckled sadly. Sebastian slid down the bed to look into Kurt's eyes.  
  
"While I was out here, hiding, he passed away."  
  
Sebastian looked at Kurt in shock.  
  
"I'm sorry, Kurt." Sebastian took Kurt into his arms and held him.  
  
"I hadn't spoken to him in over a year," Kurt continued, melting into Sebastian's embrace. "And now, I'm never going to get that chance again."  
  
Sebastian nodded against Kurt's hair. He heard Kurt sniffle.  
  
"I get it," Sebastian said, kissing the top of Kurt's head. "I'll think about calling him. I promise."  
  
Kurt nodded, closing his eyes. A few more tears slipped down his cheeks, falling onto Sebastian's chest. Sebastian held Kurt tight, kissing gently over his face and neck until Kurt fell asleep in Sebastian's arms.  
  
He waited until he could feel Kurt's breathing even out before Sebastian reached over to the bedside table and grabbed his cell phone. He held it and stared at it a few moments before he composed a text message to his brother.  
  
 _'So, did you disown me, too?'_  
  
He looked at it a few more moments before he made the decision to press send.

* * *

  
  
 _Jiggle jiggle jiggle.  
_  
Kurt couldn't figure out what the terrible noise was, but it was loud and jarring and woke him from a deep, comfortable sleep.  
  
 _Jiggle jiggle jiggle._  
  
"Sebastian?" Kurt whispered, shaking his boyfriend gently. "Sebastian, wake up?"  
  
"Mmmm," Sebastian murmured, hearing the anxious pitch of Kurt's voice. "What is it, darling?"  
  
 _Jiggle jiggle jiggle._  
  
Kurt didn't have to answer. The loud, metallic noise hit Sebastian's ears and put him immediately on edge. He sat up and swung his feet over the side of the bed, waiting for a moment to see if the noise would return.  
  
 _Jiggle jiggle jiggle._  
  
"Sebastian..." Kurt started, but Sebastian put a hand up to quiet him. Sebastian padded silently over to the bedroom window and peeked out, trying to look down over the side of the house to get a glimpse of the front door. This portion of the house jutted out just enough to obscure the view of the front door, which was situated pretty much right below Kurt's bedroom window.  
  
Sebastian cursed quietly, and stepped through the room to the door, with Kurt close behind. They made their way down the staircase, Sebastian leading the way. Sebastian motioned for Kurt to stay at the foot of the stairs as he approached the ancient door.  
  
Sebastian slipped along the wall in order to reach it, moving to put his ear against the wood.  
  
 _Jiggle jiggle jiggle._  
  
The sound - the grating, metallic sound of someone trying to turn the door knob - had started to fray at Kurt's nerves. It was startling. It was jolting.  
  
It was a little too familiar.  
  
The intense silence that followed was deafening as they waited to see if the mysterious stranger had realized his mistake and would just go away...until the sound of a metal key slipping into the lock and trying to turn sent Kurt completely over the edge.  
  
"Sebastian!" Kurt screeched in a voice so high pitched, it sounded like the hissing whine of a steam engine whistle screaming through the air.  
  
Sebastian turned to see Kurt, hands pressed over his ears, sprawled on the stairs where he had tripped trying to run back to his room, and now lay paralyzed.  
  
Sebastian wanted to throw the door open and punch whoever it was, but he knew that facing this person would tip Kurt too far to a place where Sebastian might never be able to reach him. Thinking quickly, he turned to the security panel on the wall and hit the panic button. A piercing alarm sounded, inside and outside the house. Kurt curled up in a tight ball, pulling his knees to his chin, crying with his eyes squeezed shut.

Sebastian was about to gather him into his arms and carry him upstairs when he heard a noise that filled his body from head to foot with searing anger...the shuffling sound of footsteps as they ran down the walk.

The urge to chase down that pale freak hit Sebastian. He went so far as to reach for the door knob, but he heard a small squeak of pain and turned back to Kurt, his intense fear trapping him to the floor.

The panic alarm triggered the alarm company to send the police. They arrived within minutes, and dispersed a small crowd of concerned neighbors who had gathered in front of the gate. One officer questioned a few onlookers, but no one claimed to see anything out of the ordinary that would have prompted the alarm.

Sebastian lifted Kurt off the steps and settled him onto the sofa. He stepped outside when the police arrived, giving Kurt a moment to compose himself before letting the officer inside. Both men told the officers the same story, but when Sebastian let the man out he took a moment to relay the incident about the jogger, how he had tripped Kurt, and then returned in the morning and glared at them. Sebastian told the officer about the shuffling foot steps, and how he heard them when he had gotten pelted by the stones, and again when the intruder had run away.

The officer sympathized with Sebastian, but told him that Sebastian's suspicions would be considered speculation without any real evidence, but if the Sebastian wanted, he could bring Kurt down to the station and make a statement, just in case something else happened in the future.

 _'Great,'_ Sebastian thought. _'I wonder how many times Kurt's heard that before.'_

When the officer left, Sebastian locked the door and set the alarm. Kurt sat on the couch, wrapped in a blanket that Sebastian had draped around his shoulders, and holding a framed object in his hands. Sebastian scanned the walls, expecting that Kurt had taken his mother's picture off the wall and held it for comfort, but it was the Bible verse that was missing from its spot.

That was the item that Kurt held in his arms now.

Sebastian sat beside him and put an arm around his shoulders, holding him close.

"The Song of Ruth?" Sebastian clarified. Kurt, eyes glued to the front door, nodded.

"It was my mom's favorite Bible verse," Kurt whispered, his voice hoarse. "She was the religious one in the family." Kurt took a deep breath. "When my mom died, I used to read it all the time, thinking I could talk to her, and she would come help me, but of course, she never did."

Kurt sniffled, his eyes filling with tears.

"What if _he's_ found me?" Kurt's voice broke as he choked around the words.

Sebastian held Kurt tighter, feeling Kurt's body curl into his.

"I won't let him touch you, Kurt," Sebastian said firmly, and Sebastian knew as the words left his lips that he would put his life on the line to protect Kurt.

"Sebastian," Kurt said through a sob. "I can't stay here. Not tonight. Please, can we go to your place?"

Sebastian's heart stopped. He never had any intention of taking Kurt to his apartment.

"Why don't I take you to a hotel instead?" Sebastian offered. "My treat. Someplace nice."

"And sleep in a strange place next to people I don't know, on sheets someone else had sex in?" Kurt grimaced, sticking out his tongue and shuddering in disgust. "No. Please? Can't we just go to your place?"

"Kurt..." Sebastian got on his hands and knees in front of his boyfriend, his eyes pleading as they gazed into Kurt's weary blue depths. "My apartment is...what I mean to say is, it's..." Sebastian sighed. _'Just say it, Sebastian,'_ he thought. _'My apartment's a shit hole and I can't stand the idea of you seeing it.'_

"I don't want..."

"Sebastian." Kurt put his hand on top of Sebastian's where it rested on his knee. "You want me to trust you. But, why don't you trust me?"

Sebastian sighed. He couldn't fight with Kurt, especially when he needed Sebastian to be strong right now.

"All right," Sebastian said with a small smile. "We'll go to my place."

After hearing about the possible attempted break in, both Madeline and Justice came to pick Kurt and Sebastian up and take them to Sebastian's apartment. At first, Madeline insisted they take the guest room at their house, and as much as Sebastian prayed and sent psychic waves to Kurt hoping he'd say yes, Kurt politely turned her down.

Justice dropped the men off at the curb. Madeline climbed out of the car and hugged them both, before getting back in the car and driving away with her boyfriend. Sebastian shouldered a bag that held Kurt's things for the night, while keeping his other arm around Kurt's waist. Kurt still cradled the wooden frame in his arms.

They took the elevator in silence, and walked down the long, brightly lit hall to Sebastian's apartment. Sebastian took a moment before he unlocked the door, opening it quickly, like pulling the bandage off a wound. He flipped on the light, and a thousand apologies came pouring out of his mouth - sorry about the heat, sorry about the mess, sorry about the walls, and the kitchen, and the tiny full-sized bed.

Kurt didn't seem to hear a word. He shrugged off his jacket, kicked off his shoes, took off his lounge pants, and with the framed words hugged tightly to his chest, he zeroed straight in on the bed and made a bee line there.

Kurt lay down on the edge of the mattress. He looked up at the tiny table at the head of Sebastian's bed. Sitting on it was a digital clock, and a single folded piece of paper. Kurt looked at it closely, eyes narrowing to read the handwriting. _'Kurt...courageous advice.'_ Kurt picked it up carefully and looked it over, reading the words he already knew by heart. He kissed it gently and put it back in its place. Then he positioned the frame next to it. He appraised the two side by side, and smiled tiredly. Kurt pulled the only pillow on the bed to his face and inhaled deeply, catching the fading scent of Sebastian that lingered there. He curled it up beneath his head and closed his eyes.

He opened them again to look for Sebastian, who stood in the hallway, staring at Kurt in awe.

"Are you coming in?" Kurt asked, closing his eyes again and drifting immediately to sleep.

Sebastian stared at Kurt as he stepped through the door, amazed at Kurt's reaction, or lack of reaction, to Sebastian's horrible studio apartment. He shut and locked the door, pushing several heavy pieces of furniture in front of it for good measure, so Kurt would feel safer.

Sebastian stripped down to his boxer briefs and climbed into bed beside Kurt. It was an odd feeling having Kurt here with him - in this tiny bed, in this atrocious apartment, where Kurt, in his designer clothes and perfectly pale skin, seemed so out of place.

Gathering the man in his arms Sebastian began to realize that it didn't matter if Kurt didn't fit the apartment. Kurt and Sebastian fit each other. No matter where the two of them were, as long as Sebastian had Kurt, it would feel like home.


	13. Take a Leap with Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am inserting this here, but I also made it a stand alone chapter in the Deliver Me 'verse. This is a one-shot of what happened when Sebastian and Kurt went bungee jumping with Madeline and Justice. Here's a little fluff for you :)

"Tell me again why I let you talk me into doing this?" Kurt's voice shook so badly that he almost stopped talking altogether. Rough winds whipped through Kurt's chestnut hair. His blue eyes had gone beyond grey, almost shifting to a shocking silver as they stayed glued to the water below...miles and miles below the bridge where they stood, waiting for the nerve to jump.

Kurt jolted as he heard Justice whoop, leaping backward off the bridge for the third time already. His harness wrapped only around his ankles, and looked pretty useless to Kurt. Watching him fall backward, Kurt thought he might throw up. Madeline, wearing a white tank top and denim capris, screeched, "I love you, baby!" as the muscular man plummeted through the air.

Kurt held his breath, certain for the third time that his friend would definitely break free of his anklet, plunge into the icy water, and die.

"Gorgeous..." Sebastian wrapped his arms securely around Kurt's waist, feeling him shiver like a dry leaf, preparing to break free from the branch where it had been happily anchored its entire life. "You're going to be fine. You'll be perfectly safe."

Kurt turned slowly in Sebastian's embrace, pale face whiter than Sebastian had ever seen, eyes as wide as saucers, mouth agape.

"Are you crazy, Sebastian?" Kurt cried. "We're about to jump off a bridge! What about that says 'perfectly safe' to you!?"

"The part where you're wearing two harnesses," Sebastian pointed out. "That chord they hook you up to will more than hold your weight, and we're surrounded by trained professionals."

Kurt shot a look at the two teenaged-looking young men who were retrieving a still whooping Justice. A high pitched scream rent the air as Madeline went over the side, harnessed the same as Kurt.

"Look," Sebastian said, gathering his shivering boyfriend into the circle of his arms, "think of it as a metaphor."

"A metaphor for what? Mental illness?" Kurt panicked, gripping onto Sebastian's upper arms, digging his nails into his bicep.

Sebastian whimpered. _'That should not feel as hot as it does right now,'_ he thought.

"It's a metaphor," Sebastian said, trying to soften his half hard cock that had started to notice the moment Kurt latched on to him for dear life, "for freeing yourself from your chains."

Kurt scoffed.

"For letting go," Sebastian continued. "For removing fear. For being free."

"B-but...but..." Kurt stammered, "what about the falling, and the water, and the possibility of death?"

Sebastian laughed and shook his head.

"Kurt," Sebastian pleaded, "there's no possibility of death!"

"They made us sign a waiver, Sebastian," Kurt said incredulously, "there is so the possibility of death!"

"Okay...try not to think about it."

Kurt sighed, trying to clear his mind and settle his nerves. He looked down at the water again and tried to focus. Sebastian looked at his boyfriend's bowed head. He kissed the tips of Kurt's cold ears, and sighed, his warm breath ghosting over Kurt's chilled skin.

"I have an idea." Sebastian gestured to one of the young men who had hooked them up.

"Yes, sir?" The man wore a name tag that read 'Tommy'.

_'Tommy?'_ Kurt thought. _'What adult in their right mind goes by the name 'Tommy'?_

"Can we jump tandem?" Sebastian asked.

Sebastian felt Kurt stiffen even more, if that was even possible.

"Sure!" Tommy said brightly. Kurt had the sudden urge to punch 'Tommy' in the mouth. How could this insane child be so happy about sending them to their deaths?

Kurt watched in horror as Tommy hooked his and Sebastian's harnesses together, and then patted them both hard on the back, urging them towards the edge. Kurt knew that he would have to step up onto the ledge when Sebastian did. He swallowed hard as Sebastian held his hand and counted, "1...2...3..."

The two men stepped up together.

Kurt felt his entire body go cold and rigid, as if he had already died and now just needed to make it official.

Sebastian put his strong arms around Kurt, holding Kurt tight against his body.

"I'm not going to let go of you, gorgeous," Sebastian said, gazing purposefully into Kurt's eyes. "I'm never going to let go. Alright?"

Kurt nodded weakly, warming with the touch of Sebastian's body against his.

"It's you and me together," Sebastian whispered. "Or not at all."

Kurt knew Sebastian didn't just mean the jump; he meant everything they had already gone through in their short time together. For whatever reason fate chose to drop Sebastian on Kurt's doorstep, he might never know, but if there was anyone else in his life he'd want beside him as he stupidly jumped off a bridge, it would be this beautiful green eyed man.

"Just close your eyes..." Sebastian's lips brushed lightly over Kurt's, "and fall. I'll be with you."

"Promise?" Kurt asked quietly, a smile curling his lips for the first time that day.

"I promise." Sebastian smiled as he captured Kurt's lips, feeling Kurt's warm tongue sweep across his cold lips. Sebastian' lips chased Kurt's as they kissed each other, breathed together. He felt Kurt's body tip slightly toward the edge. Sebastian surged forward and claimed his mouth as they started to fall.

Sebastian held Kurt tight, watched Kurt's eyes fly open, caught Kurt's scream with his mouth as he continued to kiss him, refusing to let go.

Sebastian kissed Kurt until he felt him relax, saw his eyes drift closed, felt him try to dominate the kiss as they plunged through the ice cold air. Sebastian smiled against Kurt's lips, feeling the wind and the air trying to tear them apart, but Sebastian wouldn't let them. He felt Kurt hum happily against his lips.

The fall that Kurt had prayed would be quick was over way too soon. He felt the chord snap them back. He grabbed onto Sebastian, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend's muscular body. They bobbed in the air a few times before the chord stopped rebounding, and they hung from their harnesses, swinging lightly in the wind.

"We'll be okay," Sebastian soothed, anticipating Kurt's distress at hanging for too long over the edge. "They'll have us back up in a minute."

Kurt carded his hand through Sebastian's chocolate brown hair.

"I hope they take their time," Kurt said, his eyes melting back to a sensuous cyan as he pulled Sebastian to him, licking slowly over the curves of Sebastian's lips, nibbling on the plump bottom lip and drawing it into his mouth.

Sebastian moaned into Kurt's mouth, adrenaline level peeked from the fall, the cold wind beating against their skin, and a gorgeous man he got the privilege to call his own clinging shamelessly to his body.

Bungee as an aphrodisiac. Who knew?

They both broke apart briefly at the sound of a mixed scream. Madeline, seeing them go over together, thought tandem would be the most romantic thing imaginable, and had her harness hooked to Justice's.

Kurt drew in a sharp breath as he saw them barely brush the water, their combined weight pulling them all the way to the river's surface.

Sebastian held Kurt tightly and laughed, watching the oddly matched couple bob on their line, laughing madly.

Sebastian looked at Kurt, worried since he had gone quiet. Kurt bit his lip as he looked down at the rushing water.

"What are you thinking, gorgeous?" Sebastian asked, running his hands over Kurt's back in soothing circles as the men on the bridge started to bring them back up. Kurt looked into Sebastian's green eyes, which glittered beautifully in the cold air and the clear, bright sunlight.

"I was hoping we could do that again." Kurt blushed deep red. Sebastian laughed.

"Yes," he said, nodding enthusiastically. "We can definitely do that again, if you want."

"Bastian!" They turned on their line when they heard the deep voice booming at them - Justice calling Sebastian by a nickname he seemed strangely fond of. "Yeah, man!" Justice whooped, holding tight to his girlfriend as they spun around on their line. "Whoo-hoo!"

"Whoo-hoo!" Sebastian crowed back, raising a hand in an enthusiastic gesture, mimicking a high-five with the other man. Kurt rolled his eyes, feeling safe as long as he was wrapped in Sebastian's embrace.

Kurt had gone from frightened baby penguin to bungee jumping addict in no time flat. Ten times he jumped tandem in Sebastian's arms. He even tried once by himself. He wasn't frightened without Sebastian, but the experience wasn't the same. Since they started their jumps in the late afternoon, it was after sunset before the group packed up for home.

Kurt was the most reluctant of them to leave the bridge.

Sebastian watched Kurt pick up a rock and scratch something into the metal railing of the bridge in a spot no one would see unless they were looking for it.

While Kurt busied himself removing his harness, Sebastian got out his camera and took a picture of it - a small heart, with 'K + S' etched in the middle, and underneath that, the date.

Justice drove the town car with Madeline in the passenger seat, flipping through the pictures Sebastian had taken that day. Kurt, who tried to stay up long enough to get a turn looking at the photos, fell asleep the minute he rested his head on Sebastian's chest.

Madeline handed the camera over to Sebastian, smiling when she saw the grin on Kurt's sleeping face.

"I'm glad he has you," Madeline yawned, looking over the back seat at Kurt, cuddled into Sebastian's side, arms wrapped around Sebastian's torso, calm and peacefully asleep. "We've known Kurt for a while, and he doesn't usually do good with people. But you..." She yawned again. "You definitely seem smitten."

Justice chuckled from the driver's seat as he pulled the car onto the highway.

"I guess you could put it like that," Sebastian smirked.

"How would you put it?" Justice asked, looking at Sebastian's face in the rear view mirror.

"Me?" Sebastian asked. He looked at Justice's smiling brown eyes, and then down at the sleeping angel wrapped around him. Sebastian sighed.

"I think I'm in love."


	14. Chapter 13

**A/N:** _This chapter dwells just a little tiny bit into what a few of Kurt's bruises look like. It is not at all overly descriptive, very general, but part of a very poignant and romantic moment. If you think this will bother you nonetheless, just stop reading at the bolded word, and start again at the next bolded word, but it's not explicit enough in my opinion to garner a warning. Please, enjoy :) This might be short, but it needed to be on its own._

 

Too hot. Everything around Sebastian felt oppressive and stifling. The thick air surrounded him like a heavy blanket. Sebastian found it hard to breathe. He wanted to open a window, but he couldn't move. Oddly enough, a weight pressed against his chest that felt comforting, so moving to find some sort of relief for his overheated body wasn't an option. He decided to give in to the discomfort if it meant staying tangled up in the arms that held him tight, wrapped around his torso like a vine.  
  
Sebastian reached out with his hand to touch the weight that pressed him down into the mattress. His fingertips came in contact with something unusual, unrecognizable. He traced around deep crevices and strange ridges with the pads of his fingers. It confused him. His fingers explored the odd textures, much like an old rock, weathered and worn, eroded by wind, water and time. He took this bizarre collection of sensory clues and tried to piece them together. Maybe he was lying on the beach. That would explain the heat.  
  
He opened his eyes, and now the confusion escalated. Why would he be at the beach after midnight? Or the end of time? Why was it so dark?  
  
Sebastian turned his head from side to side, trying to see, and caught a small sliver of light coming from somewhere. He felt the strange rock beneath his hand move, up and down, expanding and then contracting. Sebastian tried hard to remember anything.  
  
He spent so little time at his apartment anymore that it took him almost a while before he became aware that he was lying in his own bed. He remembered the strange metal noise, the attempted break in, and that horrible shuffling sound as that freak ran away. Kurt had wanted to come back to his apartment. Kurt should be here.  
  
Where was Kurt?  
  
Sebastian lay still and let his senses fire, reaching around the room to locate Kurt. He could hear soft breathing, smelled the sweet vanilla scent of Kurt's hair, the soft skin of Kurt's cheek resting above his heart.  
  
His hand, still lazily roaming over the rough surface froze. Realization struck him like a hot iron scalding his skin. He jerked his hand away.  
  
His hand wasn't running over the rugged surface of a rock on the beach.  
  
His hand was touching the skin of Kurt's back.  
  
In the nearly unbearable heat, Kurt must have stripped off his shirt to cool down.  
  
Sebastian didn't know what to do. Should he pull the blankets up over Kurt's body and pretend he hadn't felt the scars and bruises? Should he wake him up and tell him?  
  
Sebastian felt stuck, caught in this dilemma with no satisfactory outcome. If he told Kurt what happened, maybe they could move forward...or maybe he'd pull away.  
  
Sebastian sighed deeply. He wanted Kurt to open up to him about this, and in a way, this seemed like fate breaking the ice for them. He shifted a little, not wanting to startle Kurt, and then sat up. They'd only been asleep for about four hours, but Sebastian didn't think this should wait.  
  
"Kurt?" Sebastian put a hand on his shoulder, shaking him gently. "Kurt, sweetie. Wake up."  
  
"Hmmm?" Kurt's tired face turned up to meet Sebastian's, eyes still shut tight by sleep, searching him out in the darkness.  
  
"Kurt." Sebastian swallowed hard. "We need to talk."  
  
Kurt rolled onto his back, lying with his head in Sebastian's lap. Sebastian leaned over and flipped on the kitchen light using a strange switch right by the head of his bed that he always questioned the placement of.  
  
Kurt blinked as the light assaulted his eyelids. Kurt smiled once he saw Sebastian, but then furrowed his brow when he noticed his expression.  
  
"What's wrong, baby?" Kurt asked, his voice thick and gravelly with sleep.  
  
Sebastian didn't answer, waiting for Kurt to come to himself and put the pieces together.  
  
Sebastian watched Kurt's face fall, his smile pulling down at the corners as worry set in. He subconsciously scratched at a spot on his chest, and stopped dead when his fingers came in contact with bare skin.  
  
Kurt's face went from vague concern to extreme panic in a split second. His eyes went wide and his mouth twisted into a grimace of pure agony.  
  
A deep, gut-wrenching pain split Sebastian's body, as if whoever had done this to Kurt had punched through Sebastian's chest and torn out his heart.  
  
"No! Oh my God!" Kurt whimpered as he backed away from Sebastian, grabbing at the thick comforter and wrapping himself in it. "Oh, God! Did you see?"  
  
"No," Sebastian said, crawling over the blanket to get closer to Kurt, approaching slowly like he would a wounded animal. Relief washed over Kurt's face.  
  
Sebastian wanted to be sick, knowing his next admission would pull that relief away.  
  
"But, I felt it."  
  
Sebastian watched the damage those words did as Kurt dissolved into tears, rolling himself tightly in the blanket, a tortured sob escaping his throat.  
  
"Please, Kurt." Sebastian tried to peel away the blanket to uncover Kurt's face. "Please, gorgeous. Let's talk about this."  
  
"No!" Kurt cried, pleading with Sebastian to let him hide. "Please don't!"  
  
Sebastian let go of the blanket and sighed. He laid down awkwardly on the bed, doing his best to rest his forehead against Kurt's.  
  
"Kurt," Sebastian said, trying his best to sound calm and soothing, "please, share this with me."  
  
Kurt choked around painful gasps, sobbing so hard his chest stuttered until he went completely silent, his body convulsing with soundless cries.  
  
"Kurt..." Sebastian ran his hand over Kurt's covered form, rolled into the fetal position. "Kurt...please. Please let me see you."  
  
Kurt's shuddering stopped. He lay still.  
  
"I'm not going anywhere," Sebastian said firmly. "You're not getting rid of me that easily." Sebastian kissed the blanket above Kurt's head.  
  
Kurt's sobs quieted as he sat up, turning red-rimmed eyes to look into Sebastian's comforting green gaze. Kurt lowered the blanket slowly, letting it slide over his skin.  
  
Seeing Kurt expose his exquisitely sculpted chest made Sebastian's heart skip a beat. His eyes roamed over the pale skin reverently.  
  
Kurt dropped his gaze and sighed, turning his back to Sebastian.  
  
Sebastian bit back a gasp. He wanted to cry. He wanted to hit something, hit it hard.  
  
A gruesome patchwork of cuts and bruises covered Kurt's back; countless burns from cigars and cigarettes, and deep ridges made from a belt or a whip. The scars were layered so deep, Sebastian could not make out an inch of new skin; just old scar tissue.  
  
"Oh, Kurt," Sebastian breathed as a single tear slipped from his eyes.  
  
Kurt hurried to pull the blanket back up, but Sebastian grabbed it, stopping him.  
  
"No," Sebastian said. "Please. No more hiding. Not from me."  
  
"Sebastian," Kurt pleaded tearfully.  
  
"Kurt..." Sebastian put a hand to Kurt's damaged skin, and Kurt flinched. "There's no reason to hide. No reason to be ashamed. I love you."  
  
Kurt scoffed, sounding angry and humiliated.  
  
"Even though you see what I really am?"  
  
"Kurt." Sebastian wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. "These scars...they don't define you."  
  
"Yes, they do." Kurt's whole body shook. "I'm ugly. They show everyone that I'm weak."  
  
"Ugly?" Sebastian almost laughed. "Kurt, there isn't a single thing about you that is ugly."  
  
Kurt tried to pull away, but Sebastian refused to let him go.  
  
"And weak?" Sebastian pulled Kurt impossibly close, so that Kurt's back pressed flush against Sebastian's chest. "How can anyone who's been through what you've been through and come out the other side be weak?"  
  
Kurt stopped fighting. He sat still in Sebastian's embrace, crying quietly.  
  
Sebastian felt himself breaking, fighting so hard to keep this man together that something inside him had started to crack in half. He couldn't let Kurt go. He couldn't let him slip away. He had to keep Kurt with him, or he'd risk losing himself in the process.  
  
"You are _not_ weak, Kurt," Sebastian said, shaking a little, tears thick in his voice.  
  
 **Sebastian pulled** away to look down Kurt's back - all those scars, all those bruises. The closest one to him - a round, faded mark with uneven edges - seemed to be the oldest.  
  
The burn mark from the book, a shadow of which managed to remain as it must have damaged several layers of skin. Sebastian pressed a delicate kiss to the mark. Kurt jolted, bristling as if shocked by a bolt electricity.  
  
"You are strong," Sebastian said.  
  
He looked over Kurt's back again and saw the ridge of a deep gash that could have been made with a belt. He pressed a kiss there, too.  
  
"You are gorgeous."  
  
Sebastian caught sight of another gash, not quite as deep, but wide, maybe from a whip. Sebastian suppressed a shudder at how it had left an imprint of the braided leather's design on Kurt's skin. He ran the tip of his tongue gently along the bruise.  
  
"You are a survivor."  
  
Another burn mark caught Sebastian's eye. It looked bigger and deeper that then the first, and sat right on Kurt's spine. It had a distinct pattern, and the more Sebastian examined it, the more he realized it was the capital letter D.  
  
The burn had been made by a cufflink, the metal heated. It had been meant as a brand.  
  
 **"You're** a warrior," Sebastian said, biting his lip to stop it quivering as he kissed this mark as well.  
  
 _'D',_ Sebastian thought murderously. _'The asshole's name starts with a D.'_  
  
Kurt gasped at each brush of Sebastian's lips against his skin.  
  
Kurt's mind buzzed with a thousand thoughts. What should Kurt do now? This was the final test, wasn't it? Sebastian had stumbled across Kurt's darkest secret, and yet he stayed, kissing him, trying to make years of hurt go away.  
  
There was one more thing Kurt needed.  
  
Sebastian talked about wanting forever with Kurt.  
  
Kurt wanted to know what forever would feel like.  
  
"Sebastian?" Kurt rolled his head on his neck, absorbing the feeling of Sebastian's lips, his gentle caresses with their underlying heat.  
  
"What is it, gorgeous?" Sebastian asked. "What do you want?"  
  
"Sebastian?" Kurt whispered. "Would you...make love to me?"  
  
Sebastian sucked in a quick, surprised breath. He put his hands on Kurt's shoulders, turning Kurt to face him.  
  
"Are you sure?" Sebastian asked.  
  
"Do you not want to?" Kurt crossed his arms in front of his chest, feeling exposed and vulnerable.  
  
"I didn't say that." Sebastian ran his hands down Kurt's bare arms, watching as goosebumps formed on his skin. "I've dreamed of making love to you for longer than I care to admit."  
  
Kurt couldn't help smiling.  
  
"I just...I need you to be ready," Sebastian admitted, resting his forehead against Kurt's. "I need this to be perfect for you. I don't want to screw this up."  
  
Kurt found Sebastian's hands and took them in his own, bringing them slowly to his lips. Sebastian watched Kurt place a trail of delicate kisses from one hand to the other, following each kiss with a gentle swipe of his tongue, like a signature.  
  
"You're not going to screw this up," Kurt whispered between kisses. "It will be perfect...if I'm with you..."  
  
Sebastian felt his body flood with heat. He wanted Kurt, so much more than he had ever wanted anyone in his life. He didn't want to over think things, complicate them with memories of Kurt's tormented past. He wanted to take Kurt to a place where only the two of them existed.  
  
First, he had to get his body to move.  
  
Sebastian reached around Kurt's body, picking him up carefully in his arms. Locking his emerald eyes to Kurt's sapphire ones, he carried him back up the bed and laid him down on the pillow. Sebastian straddled Kurt's hips, hovering above him. He ran his fingers gently through Kurt's hair, soaking in the feel of the silky strands between his fingers. Sebastian cradled Kurt's head in his hands, leaning in to capture Kurt's mouth.  
  
Sebastian felt Kurt's arms loop behind his neck, pulling his body down to cover his, to claim him with his warmth, to keep him safe. Kurt needed to feel all of Sebastian against him, every inch of skin against skin.  
  
While Sebastian's kiss captured Kurt's tongue over and over, Kurt's hands slid over Sebastian's smooth skin, wandering along the lines of his muscular back to the waist band of Sebastian's boxer briefs, still hugging his body in that sinful way that made Kurt stare uncontrollably. He tried his best to pull them down, but the reach of his arms wouldn't let him.  
  
Sebastian broke the kiss with a delicate nibble to Kurt's chin as he sat up, pulling Kurt up with him. Sebastian put Kurt's hands on his hips. Biting on his lip, he pulled Sebastian's briefs down over his already swollen cock, sliding them down over Sebastian's thighs. Sebastian maneuvered a bit to allow Kurt to pull them the rest of the way off his body and toss them carelessly to the floor.  
  
Sebastian tried to lay Kurt back down on the bed, but Kurt, so close to perfection, couldn't resist taking Sebastian into his mouth, sucking him slowly. Sebastian's hands stopped being so insistent, content to rest on Kurt's shoulders and enjoy the attentions of his silky tongue as it wrapped skillfully around him - no more tentative licks or hesitant sucks. This Kurt knew what he wanted.  
  
He wanted Sebastian.  
  
All of him.  
  
Sebastian closed his eyes. He could get lost in the heat of Kurt's mouth, abandon himself to those tight, flawless lips and their lazy sucks over his shaft. He ran his shaking fingers through Kurt's hair. He couldn't get enough of the soft feel of Kurt's chestnut hair.  
  
Sebastian had to reach out a hand and brace himself against the wall. Kurt's lazy pace became heated and greedy, his hands palming Sebastian's ass, pulling him deeper down his throat.  
  
Sebastian knew he couldn't last like this. He pulled himself away from Kurt's mouth with a whimper from his own lips that he didn't recognize.  
  
Kurt giggled as Sebastian settled his body back over him, pulling Kurt's briefs quickly from his body for good measure.  
  
Sebastian considered their position for a moment before flipping their positions, putting Kurt over his hips, straddling him. He wanted to look up into Kurt's beautiful blue eyes, wanted an unobstructed view of Kurt's gorgeous chest, watch him move over him. He wanted to watch Kurt dissolve into pleasure, wanted to feel his legs tremble against him.  
  
Mostly, he wanted Kurt to feel in control.  
  
Sebastian reached behind his head to the small table and its solitary drawer. He opened the drawer just enough to reach a hand inside, pulling out a gold foil packet and a pocket sized bottle of lube.  
  
"Is that all you have in there?" Kurt asked shyly.  
  
"Pretty much," Sebastian chuckled. He held his hand with the two items in his palm out to Kurt. "Help me out?"  
  
Kurt held his breath. He couldn't remember the last time he put a condom on someone. He didn't want to look like a fumbling idiot.  
  
Sebastian saw Kurt's eyes shift, saw the slight expression of discomfort cloud Kurt's eyes. Kurt took the foil packet and the bottle. Setting the bottle beside him on the bed, he tore the foil carefully, then pulled out the rolled up condom, looking curiously at it.  
  
Sebastian bit his lip, trying not to smile at the bashful look on Kurt's rapidly blushing face.  
  
"Take your time, gorgeous," Sebastian said reassuringly. "We have all the time in the world."  
  
Kurt nodded, taking a deep breath in through his nose and let it out through pursed lips. He pinched the tip and positioned it carefully over Sebastian's cock. For a moment, Kurt questioned whether or not this tiny piece of latex would actually stretch over Sebastian's generous length.  
  
Sebastian watched Kurt as he carefully rolled the condom down his cock. Kurt reached for the bottle of lube, popping the top and squeezing a dollop into his palm. His long fingers delicately caressed Sebastian as they spread the viscous fluid around him.  
  
"Oh Kurt," Sebastian breathed. "You're so gentle. So beautiful."  
  
Kurt's eyes darted away, avoiding Sebastian's gaze.  
  
"No," Sebastian said, and moving a finger beneath Kurt's chin, he directed Kurt's gaze back to his eyes. "Don't look away from me. Don't keep your eyes from me."  
  
"What should I do?" Kurt asked, his voice wavering a little. He didn't like sounding so foolish, so inexperienced.  
  
"What would you like to do, gorgeous?" Sebastian said patiently. "Do you want me to finger you? Stretch you a bit?"  
  
Kurt looked into Sebastian's green eyes, so full of love - sincere and unsullied.  
  
Then his eyes moved to Sebastian's beautiful erection, waiting for him.  
  
"No," Kurt said, finally. "I just want you."  
  
Sebastian's breath hitched as he watched Kurt climb daintily over him, positioning himself above Sebastian, ready to accept him, all of him.  
  
Kurt was about to close his eyes in concentration, until he remembered Sebastian ask him not to deprive him of his eyes. Kurt's skin crawled at the idea of being laid bare in front of this gorgeous man, but Kurt fought with his own insecurities to lock eyes with Sebastian's unashamed gaze.  
  
Kurt moved slowly, teasing himself with the head of Sebastian's cock, tearing a moan unexpectedly out of Sebastian's throat. Strengthened by the sound of Sebastian's arousal, Kurt slid down, allowing the head of Sebastian's cock to breach his entrance. Kurt hissed at the burn, but refused to break his gaze, willing the blush in his face away.  
  
 _'He thinks you're beautiful,'_ Kurt reminded himself. _'He wants this. He wants you.'_  
  
"So gorgeous," Sebastian mumbled, his voice tight as he tried to reign in his compulsion to slam himself deep into Kurt's tight heat. "My beautiful Kurt."  
  
Kurt shivered at Sebastian's words, wondering if this incredible man could read his mind.  
  
Kurt slid farther, stopping when the burn became a little too much, backing off a bit to adjust.  
  
Sebastian bunched the blanket beneath him in his fists as he watched Kurt's sensous body move, slowly, ever so slowly, down his length. Small beads of sweat had already started to form around Kurt's hairline. Sebastian silently cursed the heat, but with Kurt's amazing body sliding over him, it was an easy thing to ignore.  
  
"Oh Sebastian." Kurt moaned as he finally settled onto Sebastian's hips, fitting around the man's enormous length. "How did I get so lucky?" Kurt said with a cheeky grin.  
  
Sebastian looked at Kurt seriously, serenely.  
  
"I'm the lucky one," he said, taking Kurt's hands and lacing their fingers together, trying to ignore the incredible squeeze around his cock. Kurt looked over Sebastian's face. "You loving me," he continued, "is such an incredible gift. You...are such a gift to me. I don't know what I did to deserve your love...and you."  
  
Kurt's mouth dropped in awe. He couldn't remember hearing anything so romantic, especially not directed at him.  
  
Kurt felt like he was drowning in the love he could see in Sebastian's green eyes. How could this man love him so much in such a short amount of time, Kurt wondered.  
  
Probably the same way Kurt loved him, he decided without too much thought.  
  
Kurt did love him. He loved everything there was about Sebastian Smythe - his heart, his smile, his sassy attitude, his gorgeous body, the way he felt he needed to protect Kurt, those unbelievable eyes so full of admiration.  
  
Sebastian settled his hands on Kurt's hips. The feeling of Sebastian's hands gripping his skin broke him from his daydream.  
  
"Do you want to move?" Sebastian asked softly.  
  
Kurt nodded, though he didn't know how he was going to be able to accommodate Sebastian's tremendous cock over and over without splitting in two. Kurt's body wanted him, greedily wanted to take pleasure from him.  
  
Kurt wanted to give himself to Sebastian, be one with him.  
  
Kurt braced himself with his hand on Sebastian's chest. He found some strength in his already trembling legs, and began to slowly move, gliding over his length smoothly.  
  
Sebastian groaned as soon as Kurt slid over him.  
  
"Oh, Kurt," Sebastian sighed. "That's it, beautiful. My Kurt. My gorgeous Kurt."  
  
Sebastian bit his lip, eyes locked on Kurt's body - his glittering blue eyes, his quivering lips, his strong stomach muscles and his undulating hips.  
  
"Talk to me," Kurt pleaded in a broken whisper. Kurt bit his tongue, trying to quell the onslaught of his orgasm, rising too quickly within him. Sebastian's cock couldn't seem to avoid hitting the secret spot within Kurt's body that made him liquify. He was afraid this would all be over before it had barely even started.  
  
"I love watching your body move." Sebastian didn't need to think. He just said the words that had gathered in his heart the moment he laid eyes on Kurt. "Your innate grace...your strong body. God, Kurt..." For a moment, Sebastian had to take in a deep breath and steady his voice. "You take me so well, gorgeous."  
  
Kurt had gone to a place where he was beyond being embarrassed by Sebastian's compliments, and absorbed them instead - let them fuel his fire.  
  
"I love you, Kurt," Sebastian almost whispered. "I love you so much, and I don't see that changing any time soon."  
  
Sebastian took Kurt's hands, lacing their fingers together, helping support Kurt as he sped up a little, moaning at the increased pace.  
  
"I belong to you, Kurt." Sebastian growled in the back of his throat, the sound of a barely restrained animal waiting, teetering on the edge of its self-control. "I'm all yours. I have been since the first moment I saw you."  
  
Kurt whimpered. Sebastian's words worked through all his defenses, fought past all the walls and the barriers. They fought to release Kurt's captive soul...and they were winning.  
  
"Oh, Kurt." Sebastian felt himself meeting Kurt's movements with thrusts of his own. "You're everything, Kurt. You have me...my heart, my soul, my body...it's yours."  
  
Sebastian felt Kurt tremble, felt his grip on his hands tighten. Before Kurt almost couldn't make himself look into Sebastian's eyes. Now he felt like he couldn't look away.  
  
Kurt's body tightened, clenching around Sebastian. His arms shook, his lips parted. Sweat slid down his back as he moved, his hips losing a bit of steam.  
  
Sebastian felt Kurt's body fail him, saw his blue eyes blow wide, black pupils replacing crystal blue irises as lust took over. Sebastian held Kurt's hips and pounded up, chasing Kurt's orgasm and his own.  
  
There was an intense heat spiraling between them. Eyes locked, Sebastian felt Kurt's body burn around him, every touch of his skin like a lick of flame where they connected. It was unfamiliar, almost unreal. Sebastian didn't want to let go of it; wanted it wrapped around him forever.  
  
It couldn't last. It burned too hot. Sebastian's heart slammed so hard in his chest he thought it might actually stop, but there was nothing that was going to keep Sebastian from giving everything he had left in his body to Kurt.  
  
Sebastian's fingers started to dig into Kurt's hips as he felt the coil of lava in the pit of his stomach unravel.  
  
Kurt's eyes told the same story. The inferno that flooded Sebastian's veins flowed through Kurt, too, and Kurt's body was telling him it was time to let go.  
  
Sebastian had only time to say one last thing.  
  
"I feel like I've been waiting for you...my whole life."  
  
This time Kurt bit his lip until it bled.  
  
His legs started to give out as he came. Sebastian held him tight, body arching up to meet him. Kurt barely registered Sebastian's fingernails as they bit his skin, or Sebastian burying himself deep into Kurt's body as he came, too.  
  
Kurt couldn't catch his breath, couldn't feel his muscles, and all of a sudden he heard Sebastian's worried voice breaking through the fuzz that had gathered in his head, through the soft cloud of bliss that had formed and was trying to push him into a dreamless sleep.  
  
"No, no, no...Kurt? Honey?"  
  
Kurt felt himself lifted; a deep, gorgeous voice cursing as he floated in strong arms through the air. Then an unwelcome blast of cold air hit him in the face and Kurt gasped, his eyes flying open. He was sitting in Sebastian's lap on the fire escape of Sebastian's building...and he was naked.  
  
"Oh, geez, Sebastian!" Kurt exclaimed.  
  
"Don't 'oh geez me', Kurt. You almost passed out!"  
  
Kurt giggled, feeling a little giddy.  
  
"What can I say?" Kurt drawled, sounding a little drunk. "You're just that good."  
  
Kurt let his eyelids drift closed as he sucked in a mouthful of cool, refreshing air.  
  
Sebastian laughed, shaking his head, hair tickling Kurt's chin.  
  
"You're ridiculous," Sebastian said, kissing Kurt's throat.  
  
"I'm in love," Kurt said, a dopey smile on his face.  
  
Sebastian held Kurt close, feeling him return from wherever it was he was about to slip off to, relaxed and sated.  
  
Sebastian carried Kurt back inside the apartment and put him gently back in bed, only now there would be no more hiding behind t-shirts and blankets. Sebastian opened the windows wide to let out the heat. He tossed out the condom and found a washcloth to clean them off with.  
  
Sebastian was exhausted in the best possible way. He returned to bed and saw Kurt stretched out, asleep. No more fear. No more shame. He lay on his stomach, his back on display, and a smile on his face.  
  
Sebastian felt something within him change, evolve. In an almost animal way, he felt like he owned Kurt. He smelled like him. He felt him on his skin.  
  
Eventually they would have to leave the protective bubble of this beautiful evening, this special moment they had shared, and return to a reality where some hidden menace threatened Kurt - his happiness, and maybe even his life.  
  
Sebastian had a feeling he knew who it was.  
  
The same man who felt the need to burn his initial into Kurt's skin forever.  
  
They would face him together.  
  
Together they were one. Together they belonged.  
  
Sebastian became even more determined to find this mysterious asshole 'D'...and end this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After repeated questions on the point of Kurt's bruises, I have decided to add a note at the end of this chapter. Many people have asked me if after three years wouldn't Kurt's bruises have faded. I tried to not get too descriptive over the nature of Kurt's scars but they are primarily whip and burn marks. They are bruises from repeated -daily - abuse. The are deep tissue scars. This type of repeated bruising doesn't allow the skin to properly heal, and scar tissue builds up on top of scar tissue, which is where the ridges come from, that peak and valley pitting. Because it comes close to the muscle and isn't properly cared for, it wouldn't have faded after three years. I know this from personal experience, as many of my readers already know. I hope this clears things up :)


	15. The Morning After

**A/N:** _This chapter has a title instead of a number because it's both a plot point and a little piece of romantic fluff to live on before we return to anything a little more angsty._

Sebastian never realized what a difference sleeping naked beside his boyfriend would make. He didn't register the scars or bruises on Kurt's back, just the luscious feeling of Kurt's muscular body pressed against his, sharing his warmth, his breath ghosting over his skin, running his fingertips wherever he pleased with no barriers between them.

Sebastian had the most glorious dreams with Kurt naked against him - dreams of spending a life together with this man, of weekends spent beside him in bed, Sunday mornings reading the paper over coffee, a million more pictures of Kurt's gorgeous body, maybe even an honest to God vacation. Mostly he looked forward to the idea of cherishing Kurt, body and soul.

Sebastian woke to the sound of his text alert trilling. His mind told him to pick it up, but his heart wanted him to stay asleep, with Kurt wrapped in his arms. The only person he would want to talk to was with him anyway, so there was no point in opening his eyes just to check some nonsense message.

Another trill. Then another. And another.

Apparently someone was sending him their whole life story.

That life was about to end once Sebastian found out who was disturbing his fabulous sleep beside his gorgeous boyfriend. Sebastian reached around the table carefully to find his phone with his eyes still closed. His fingers wrapped around it just as it trilled another time, his hand effectively muffling the sound.

Sebastian wanted to turn off the ringer, shove the phone in the drawer, and drift back off to sleep, forgetting about the hundred unwelcome messages. He felt around the tiny phone for the button that lowered the volume and managed to switch off the sound as it vibrated. Yet another message.

Sebastian's curiosity piqued, he looked at the message alert on the screen.

Fifteen unread messages...all from his brother.

The first message was the only one he really needed to read.

_From: Richard  
I would never disown you. I love you. I'm sorry about all this._

The second one broke his already wounded heart.

_From: Richard  
Mom says hi._

Sebastian couldn't find his way back to his bliss, so he lay beside his boyfriend, curled as close as he could conceivably manage, and texted his brother back.

He told Richard the story of the last few months - his awful apartment, his horrible job, and the amazing time that he had been spending with Kurt.

Sebastian had been right to think that their dad would put pressure on Richard to run the family business. Richard had been doing his best to resist, and luckily, so far, their father hadn't threatened to pull Richard's inheritance as well.

That didn't mean he wouldn't though.

Luckily, Richard and his wife really didn't need the money. Richard had started a successful business making apps in high school, and he had managed to make it grow into a lucrative app store. His wife came from old money, and had a trust fund of her own that could put Richard's and Sebastian's to shame.

Sebastian and Richard texted for over an hour, and Sebastian couldn't help the smile that had permanently taken residence on his face the entire time.

He hadn't realized just how much he'd missed his brother. Richard sent Sebastian pictures of the baby, and Sebastian forwarded Richard the few pictures of Kurt that he had on his phone.

As Kurt started to stir, Sebastian told Richard that he had to go, and sent him all his love with a promise to text again soon.

Sebastian felt that a closed door had just opened.

Kurt turned in Sebastian's arms and smiled without opening his eyes.

"Did we do what I think we did this morning?' Kurt asked, his voice husky with sleep, but not veiled in embarrassment or shame.

Sebastian smiled, taking Kurt's hand and kissing it gently.

"What do you think, gorgeous?" Sebastian asked, leading Kurt's hand down his body, over his bare skin, letting it roam over his ass, around his thigh, up over his cock, and then resting it over his heart, which had started to race the moment Kurt's fingers touched his skin.

Kurt bit his lip, but this time he didn't blush. Sebastian's heart swelled at Kurt's confidence, his obvious feeling of comfort lying naked in bed with his boyfriend, but Sebastian missed the rosy glow.

He would have to think of a way to get it back.

Already his mind whirled with private locations on Kurt's body his tongue could visit, all of the places it could lick and the areas it could swirl. He'd have to be able to find one that would guarantee him a blush.

"I think," Kurt said in response, "that you should really refresh my memory."

Sebastian snaked his arms around Kurt's torso, wasting no time running his hands over Kurt's bare back, claiming Kurt's whole body. Kurt smiled, looking completely calm and relaxed for the first time. He didn't flinch when Sebastian touched him, he didn't shrink away from Sebastian's exploring hands. Kurt's expression of overwhelming bliss warmed Sebastian in a way he'd never felt before.

"I have every intention of refreshing your memory, gorgeous." Sebastian pulled Kurt on top of him, loving the slide of Kurt's soft skin against his body. "In fact," Sebastian whispered, his soft voice a wash of velvet seduction over Kurt's skin, "I intend on refreshing your memory over...and over...and over again."

Kurt whimpered when Sebastian found his favorite spot on Kurt's neck and licked over it languidly, moaning against his skin as he started to suck suggestively. Kurt's eyes rolled, his eyelids fluttering shut, his cock twitching against Sebastian's already hard length.

"Sebastian," Kurt breathed. It was a sigh, a sound of utter contentment.

"I want to get an early start on the day," Sebastian said.

"Ooo," Kurt teased, "it sounds like you have a plan."

"I most certainly do, gorgeous." Sebastian moved further down Kurt's neck. "It's called 'keeping my incredible boyfriend safe'."

Kurt hummed as Sebastian sucked along his shoulder.

"You're so sexy when you're protective."

Sebastian smiled. His beautiful Kurt, coming more and more alive, transforming before his eyes, beneath his lips.

"Please..." Kurt squirmed as Sebastian bit down gently, nerves firing at this new, welcome sensation as Sebastian went a step beyond his normal nibbles and let it sting. "Make love to me again."

Sebastian breathed Kurt in, reveling in the scent of vanilla from his shampoo, mixed with the faint scent of Sebastian's cologne from his sheets, and sex. It was a heady combination, sweet and mind-blowingly erotic at the same time.

"Kurt," Sebastian said as he breathed in again, letting the scent fill him completely. "I will never turn you down." Sebastian moved to the other shoulder and bit, feeling Kurt arch against him, begging silently for more. "I'll make love to you whenever you want."

Sebastian felt Kurt melt. His fingertips danced over Kurt's alabaster skin. Sebastian wanted Kurt like this, close to him so he could feel his skin, smell his hair, and kiss wherever he could reach. Sebastian rolled Kurt slowly, gently onto his back while he kissed him, and then broke away with a soft whine as he rolled Kurt again on his side, facing away from Sebastian. Sebastian pressed himself against Kurt's back, his hand splayed across his stomach.

Sebastian whispered against Kurt's ear.

"Would it be okay if I took you like this?" Sebastian asked. Kurt shivered against Sebastian's body as he pressed against him.

Kurt held his breath for a moment, and Sebastian waited patiently. Kurt had come so far with Sebastian, had wandered into new territory on the banks of old nightmares. Sebastian knew that some taboos still lingered out there, haunting him.

Sebastian held Kurt close, and Kurt focused on all of the things that pushed thoughts of the past aside. Sebastian smelled like black pepper and cinnamon. His skin tasted both sweet and salty somehow. Kurt's tongue tingled when it touched him. His long fingers massaged him gently, and the skin on his hands was smoothe, callused only on the ridge right below his fingers. His body almost matched Kurt's in height, and the hard, muscular planes of his chest fit against Kurt like the missing piece of an almost completed puzzle.

The man of his nightmares was nothing like this.

Sebastian was the white knight of Kurt's dreams.

Sebastian didn't ask again, simply brushed his soft lips against the nape of Kurt's neck, enjoying the feeling of his hair standing on end, reacting to his warm breath as it settled along his skin.

"Yes," Kurt answered finally. "Yes, Sebastian. Please."

Sebastian decided to open Kurt up gently with his tongue. He covered Kurt's body with kisses - soft kisses, urgent kisses, kisses followed by tiny nips of his teeth, until he settled beneath Kurt's beautiful, taut ass. Spreading his cheeks carefully, Sebastian teased over Kurt's hole with tiny swipes of his tongue, back and forth over the puckered entrance, and then dipping inside.

Kurt tried not to squirm, didn't want to buck, wanted to stay where he has while Sebastian took him with tender licks and kisses. He threaded his own hands in his hair, pulling lightly. He smiled to himself as he became more bold, more daring. He scratched his nails lightly over his own skin, dipping a finger in his mouth and then rubbing it in slow circles over his own nipple.

"Yes," Kurt breathed.

 _'Don't you dare touch yourself!_ I _touch you!_ I _decide when you cum!'_

Kurt laughed as he touched himself, shivered as he felt Sebastian's tongue fuck him, felt his cock twitch at every soft swipe.

Sebastian chuckled at the sound of Kurt's laughter, the vibration shooting straight through Kurt's body, threatening to make him explode.

"I miss you, Sebastian," Kurt groaned. "I want you with me."

Sebastian broke away with a passing nibble on Kurt's cheek as he traveled back up Kurt's body.

What he saw took Sebastian's breath away. Kurt was smiling like mad, biting his lip as he slowly stroked his cock, a gorgeous ruby flush covering his entire body. Sebastian watched Kurt as he held himself, as he moved, as he rolled his head on his shoulders and moaned. Sebastian reached around Kurt's body, putting his hand over Kurt's where it stroked his cock, and squeezed. Kurt moaned, turning his head to claim Sebastian's mouth, sucking on his lower lip eagerly.

"Give me a moment, and I'll take care of this for you, gorgeous," Sebastian promised. Kurt nodded, but he wouldn't let go, determined to keep stroking until Sebastian took over.

It didn't take take long for Sebastian to find another condom and roll it on, lubing himself liberally, spurred on by the sight of his incredible boyfriend masturbating. Kurt let out a particularly sinful moan.

"Hey now," Sebastian whispered as he climbed behind Kurt, cuddling close, "let me catch up."

Kurt giggled until he felt the head of Sebastian's cock slowly start to enter his body.

"Oh, Sebastian," Kurt breathed, reaching behind him to loop his arms around Sebastian's neck.

Sebastian slipped easily into Kurt, still taking things slowly - shallow thrusts that bled into longer strokes. His fingers circled Kurt's length, sliding around him in time to his movements. His free arm he wrapped around Kurt's waist and held him tight. Sebastian kissed Kurt's neck, murmuring quiet promises against his skin - promises to always cherish, promises to always protect him, promises to fall asleep with him in his arms and to wake up the same way each morning.

A spark ignited between them, but it didn't flood them with an unquenchable fire the way it had earlier. This spark lit a quiet simmer that Sebastian fanned with the unrushed sway of his hips.

"You feel so good, Sebastian." Kurt sighed, letting Sebastian do what he did best - take control. Sebastian didn't ask anything from him. Kurt didn't have to do anything but just be. Sebastian hummed against Kurt's skin - a ballad he once remembered singing in high school. Kurt pulled Sebastian closer, closing his eyes as the deep tenor of Sebastian's voice washed over him.

Kurt's body was so full of peace, he wanted to stay like this, locked in Sebastian's arms, forever.

"I know that song." Kurt panted, his body shuddering slightly as Sebastian's cock brushed lightly where Kurt needed him, over and over, his blood singing as an irresistible sweet pressure started to build inside him. "It's about falling in love with love. About finding the other half of your soul. I can't remember the name of it, but I adore that song."

"Kurt..." Sebastian traced a lazy pattern over Kurt's shoulder with the tip of his tongue. "You _are_ that song."

Sebastian wanted to keep Kurt at that border between barely losing his balance and falling headlong over the edge. As far as Sebastian was concerned, time could stop for them. The world could grind to a halt and cease to exist altogether.

Kurt whispering caught Sebastian's attention, and he leaned his head closer to hear. Kurt's eyes were shut, muttering a litany into the dark.

"I love you, Sebastian," tumbled from his lips. "I love you, I love you, I love you..."

Sebastian felt his body screaming for release, begging him to quicken his pace, but he stayed strong for Kurt - panting breathlessly, lips parted as if waiting to be kissed, fingers knotting themselves in Sebastian's hair.

Sebastian buried his head in the crook of Kurt's neck. He suddenly felt overwhelmed. For every reason and no reason whatsoever, he wanted to cry.

This was his moment of pure happiness. It bled through his body, wrapped around his heart and squeezed tight.

Kurt started to whimper - tiny gasps of restrained pleasure as he held back, not wanting to let go just yet.

"Like the bridge, gorgeous" Sebastian whispered. "You jump, I jump...remember?"

Kurt nodded.

Sebastian brushed Kurt's neck with his lips.

"I feel you, Kurt." Sebastian snapped his hips a little quicker, moved his hand a little faster. "All over me. I smell you on my skin. I don't ever want that to go away."

Kurt moved his hips back to meet Sebastian's.

"We're so good together, Kurt." Sebastian's voice began to break. He snapped a little harder, moved a little faster. As he buried himself into Kurt's body, Kurt trembled. Sebastian wanted to say more, confess more, hum against Kurt's skin, but he could barely breathe. Something wild was trapped within Sebastian, simmering just below the surface, waiting for permission to break free.

"Harder, Sebastian," Kurt growled. "Faster."

Sebastian held Kurt still, bit gently over Kurt's shoulder, and claimed Kurt repeatedly with each snap of his hips. Kurt rolled his head back to meet Sebastian's shoulder.

"Yes," Kurt moaned. "Yes. I'm going to cum, baby."

Sebastian whined. Kurt's voice - his blessed voice, high and clear - was his undoing.

"I need you, Kurt," Sebastian groaned. "I need you so much."

"You have me," Kurt cried, feeling the world tilt as lights like diamonds exploded behind his eyes, and Kurt came, still moving to meet the intoxicating sway of Sebastian's body.

Kurt clenched around Sebastian, and Sebastian, barely holding on by a thread, let Kurt coax him to orgasm, plunging in deep and holding Kurt against him as he came.

"My amazing Kurt," Sebastian mumbled. "My beautiful angel, Kurt."

Kurt untangled his fingers from Sebastian's hair, running the pads of his fingertips down over Sebastian's cheeks, pulling back slightly when he realized his skin was wet.

"Sebastian," Kurt gasped, trying to turn in Sebastian's arms to look into his face. "Are you crying?"

"No," Sebastian said petulantly, holding Kurt tight in his arms so he couldn't move.

"Sebastian," Kurt said, his tone comforting," do you..."

"Can we just stay here..." Sebastian interrupted, "...like this for a little while?"

Kurt sighed.

"Of course."

Then he smirked.

"That's a perfect way to start the morning," he said, changing the subject.

"Yes, it is," Sebastian agreed with a smile.

"You know..." Kurt ran slightly trembling fingertips over the back of Sebastian's hand, "...if you lived with me, we could wake up like that every morning."

Sebastian buried his head into Kurt's hair and groaned, Kurt chuckling quietly.

"I promise I'll think about it," Sebastian said. "Okay?"

"Better than okay." Kurt smiled. "Much better than okay."


	16. Chapter 14

The heater finally shut off in the morning before they woke up. With all the windows open, the temperature in the apartment plummeted. The two of them had been too tired to get up and close them, so they climbed beneath the thick comforter and wrapped their arms around each other, holding tight till they stopped shivering and drifted back to sleep.

They woke up hours later when Sebastian's bladder decided he had slept enough, and the sun streaming in the windows had started to burn through Kurt's eyelids. Before they could fall back into each other's arms and make love again, Kurt popped out of bed, gave Sebastian a quick kiss on the cheek, and bounced off to the bathroom to take a shower.

It never dawned on Sebastian to stop him. He lay his head back on the pillow and smiled, chuckling as he thought back on earlier this morning, lying behind Kurt, making love to him slowly. Sebastian's cock twitched recalling the sound of Kurt's breathy moans, the feeling of his silky skin as it surrounded him, the intense heat of his body. Sebastian's hand started to creep beneath the comforter when the sound of the rushing shower water snapped him out of his daydreaming.

"Oh, shit!" he yelled, shoving the blanket off and leaping out of bed. He raced to the bathroom and made it in enough time to hear Kurt let out an inhuman screech. Sebastian burst through the door and threw open the shower curtain. He quickly lifted a shivering Kurt out of the spray and set him down on the floor outside the tub.

"I'm so sorry, Kurt!" Sebastian quickly went to work adjusting the water temperature, a process which included turning off the cold, turning the hot on high, and banging on the wall a few times. He put his hand under the water to check if it worked. The water wasn't hot by any means, but it was the best he could do.

"There we go." Sebastian turned back to Kurt, who was biting his lower lip, stifling a snicker. Sebastian couldn't help himself. The half-smile on Kurt's face made him burst out laughing. He wrapped his arms around Kurt, feeling his chest shake with laughter.

"Yeah, the water temperature here isn't that great," Sebastian choked out through giggles. He felt Kurt's lips against his neck, kissing him tenderly.

"Thank you for running to my rescue," Kurt whispered.

Sebastian ducked his head.

"You're welcome." Sebastian sighed. "You should get in there. It's not hot, but it'll stay warm for a while, at least."

Kurt looked into Sebastian's eyes, crinkled at the corners from laughing.

"Maybe you could keep me warm?" Kurt stepped backward into the shower, taking Sebastian's hands and pulling him gently until Sebastian relented and joined him.

Sebastian backed Kurt slowly against the tile wall, gazes locked, emerald to sapphire.

"Something tells me..." Sebastian said as he kissed along Kurt's jaw, "we might be in here for a while."

"I don't mind." Kurt smiled as Sebastian's arms circled him, his body shielding him from the lukewarm water. "We have about three hours to kill until you wanted to be at my house, and there's a lot we can do in that amount of time."

Sebastian smirked as he lifted his head to face Kurt.

"What did you have in mind, gorgeous?"

Kurt looked into Sebastian's face - his eyes wide and honest, his expression soft and full of love.

"Do you trust me?" Kurt whispered.

Sebastian kissed Kurt deeply, his lips moving slowly against Kurt's as he slid his tongue into his warm mouth, so soft and inviting. Sebastian could stand naked against Kurt and kiss him senseless, but he was a little too intrigued by what Kurt wanted.

"Of course," Sebastian said. "I trust you with everything I am."

Kurt kissed Sebastian on the forehead, chaste and sweet, before slipping out from under his arm and stepping behind him. Sebastian started to turn, to face Kurt, but Kurt stopped him with firm hands to his hips.

"Please?" Kurt asked quietly, "Stay like this?"

Kurt ran his hands over Sebastian's back and down his arms, resting for a moment over his hands, splayed out on the tile wall.

Sebastian nodded, head hung and eyes downcast, waiting for Kurt's next move.

The familiar click of a bottle being opened caught Sebastian's attention.

"You came prepared," Sebastian teased. Kurt chuckled.

"Well, I was kind of hoping you'd join me."

Kurt squeezed a dollop of lube into his palm.

"I told you before that I like to profile people," Kurt began. "I guess it's an occupational hazard. When you read the kind of books I do for a living, you have to get to know all sorts of characters. It's like a puzzle."

Sebastian watched Kurt put the bottle of lube down in the soap dish. He felt Kurt come up behind him.

"I have a feeling," Kurt continued, "that I know a few things about you that you didn't need to tell me. Like this..."

Sebastian felt a slick finger run up the length of his crack, and he tensed. His hands on the wall curled into fists.

"You don't let anyone do this to you, do you?"

"No," Sebastian said, his voice tight. "I don't."

Kurt, perceptive as always, had figured him out. He had never let anyone top him, never even let anyone finger him. He hated to admit, especially in front of Kurt, that wanting it made him feel like less of a man.

Submissive.

Weak.

Kurt's gentle finger found Sebastian's entrance and circled slowly.

Sebastian inhaled a quick breath through his teeth. His body battled with the thoughts and feelings whirling like a tornado within him. This idea of weakness didn't belong to Sebastian. It had been implanted in his head by his father. He had seen his dad take naive secretaries from behind, saw him bend them over his desk, saw their faces contort with pain and humiliation.

But wasn't this the same way he had taken Kurt, not a few hours before?

Hadn't it been beautiful?

His Kurt was not weak. Kurt - gorgeous, talented, incredible Kurt - would always be the strongest person he ever met.

Kurt gave everything he had to Sebastian.

Sebastian wanted to give back.

Sebastian swallowed hard, begging his tense muscles to relax.

"I can make you feel good like this," Kurt whispered. "Would you let me?"

Sebastian gritted his teeth.

He had thought about this before. He wanted this. He wanted Kurt to do this for him.

"Yes, Kurt," Sebastian said with a strained sigh. "Yes, I will."

Sebastian heard Kurt breathe in quickly, felt gentle kisses pepper his back. Kurt's soft lips slid across Sebastian's skin, licking at the drops of water that gathered there. His finger pressed a little further into Sebastian's hole, dipping in lightly, and then circling some more. Sebastian felt his muscles melt beneath Kurt's touch.

"Oh..." Sebastian moaned when Kurt started to press in further. Slowly Kurt entered Sebastian, his long finger working its way in inch by inch, back and forth, sliding smoothly, cautiously. Kurt ran a hand over Sebastian's spine, and he arched his back, craving the heat of Kurt's palm. Kurt shivered as he watched Sebastian's reaction to his touch - the flush of his skin, the slight quiver in his arms and legs, the way he leaned forward to rest his forehead against the cool tile.

"More, Kurt," Sebastian pleaded, his voice blissfully fragmented.

Kurt carefully added a second finger, circling around Sebastian's entrance slowly to soothe the sting before he pushed in slowly, watching the play of his muscles as his back twitched, listening for the change in his breathing that told Kurt to slow down or stop. Kurt felt Sebastian clench around him, watched his half-hard cock come to full attention. Kurt slid his fingers in and out, watching as Sebastian's body stretched to accommodate them, moaning when Sebastian bent slightly over, pushing his ass further out to give Kurt better access.

Taking control of Sebastian's pleasure became an aphrodisiac for Kurt. This strong man, his defined legs, his sculpted back, his athletic build...his complete surrender. Kurt pressed his body against Sebastian, letting him feel Kurt's arousal as he rutted against him, looking for friction and finding it on the smooth skin of Sebastian's hip.

"Oh, Kurt," Sebastian moaned, unable to help himself from bucking his hips, from moving back and forth over Kurt's fingers. Kurt turned his fingers inside Sebastian, searching him out, trying to find the spot that would take Sebastian's breath away. Kurt knew it when he found it, and the response he got when he slowly circled his finger over it almost made Kurt lose himself and cum.

Sebastian threw his head back, biting his lips, whining as he bucked back against Kurt's fingers.

"Oh, Kurt! Do that again!" Sebastian begged. Kurt circled the spot again, slowly feeling around it, setting its location to memory. Sebastian's body jolted, arching again at Kurt's touch. Sebastian looked so beautiful in that moment - the column of his neck stretched, his whole body lengthening, asking Kurt to reach that spot again. His wet hair hung in his face, his eyes squeezed shut, consumed by wanton abandon and shameless lust. Sebastian was the perfect image of strength and sex as he reached out an arm to grab Kurt's face to his, asserting his claim to his boyfriend's mouth.

"Oh, Kurt..." The words caught between their mouths as Sebastian refused to leave the caress of Kurt's lips, "I want more. I want you."

"Later, my love," Kurt cooed. "I want to see you cum just like this. It may be selfish of me, but I'm kind of enjoying the view."

Sebastian whimpered as Kurt swirled that spot more quickly, pulling away from Sebastian's lips so he could watch Sebastian writhe, watch his eyes roll to the back of his head as he tried to fuck himself on Kurt's fingers. Kurt wrapped an arm around Sebastian's waist and held him still, resting his ear against his back so he could hear Sebastian's heart race, his breath start to stagger, his breathy gasps and his tortured moans. He molded his body against Sebastian's so he could feel him tremble.

"Oh, Kurt." Sebastian practically sang his name as he inched closer and closer, letting his body go quiet so he could absorb the entirety of Kurt's control over him. There was no embarrassment or humiliation here in the comfort of Kurt's arms. Sebastian felt a tremendous sense of peace, a strange mixture of erotic seduction and pure, untarnished love that he could find no words to describe.

Kurt whispered soft endearments - I love you's and sweet promises, and at one point the words of a short poem in French.

_Chaque jour je t'aime d'avantage_   
_Au'jourd hui_   
_plus que hier_   
_et biens moins que demain_

Kurt didn't know that Sebastian spoke fluid French, didn't know anything about his year abroad. Kurt simply spoke what was in his heart.

_Each day I love you more_   
_today more than yesterday_   
_and much less than tomorrow._

It was the words of that poem that had Sebastian crying out, biting his lip and moaning, his head thrown back, shuddering with Kurt holding him against his body as he came.

Sebastian, overwhelmed by the strength of his orgasm, floating in the euphoria of Kurt's love for him, noticed Kurt's still painfully hard erection and finished him off on his knees, taking him in his mouth in one swift motion, sucking around him mercilessly, until Kurt came with a choked squeak down Sebastian's waiting throat.

The water had gone ice cold, but neither man noticed, panting against one another as Sebastian held Kurt the way he always did, cradled against him protectively, possessively.

"Thank you for that," Kurt whispered into his shoulder. "I love you, Sebastian, so much."

Sebastian looked down at his boyfriend, his warm smile turning into a mischievous smirk.

"Et moi aussi."

And me, as well.

* * *

"Soooo, what are we doing today?" Kurt asked, handing Sebastian a mug of coffee. Sebastian only had the one mug, and the two of them came to a compromise. Basically, they drank the coffee the way Kurt took his, and Sebastian shared it gratefully, smiling like he had just won the million dollar jackpot.

"Well..." Sebastian accepted the mug with a nod, and took a generous sip, "we need to freak proof your house a little better."

Kurt smirked as he watched Sebastian take another drink from the mug. Kurt's favorite past time had become watching Sebastian do pretty much anything. When he ate his food, he would close his eyes after almost every bite, chewing thoughtfully. When he read, his brow would knit in the middle while he concentrated, he would bite his lower lip, and tap the back cover with the index finger of his right hand. Now, as he drank his coffee, he inhaled deeply before every sip, moaning appreciatively as the warm liquid touched his lips.

"I already texted Justice," he continued, looking at Kurt with a strange twist to his lips when he noticed he was being carefully scrutinized. "You and Madeline are going to hit the mall for a few hours, get your retail therapy on, while Justice and I go back to the house and sort things out."

"Ok," Kurt said with a shrug, "I guess that makes sense." Kurt climbed off the bed. He grabbed his iPhone out of his jacket pocket. "Let me go ahead and call the security company. They've been bugging me for months about upgrading my system. I think I'll just skip straight to the presidential package. I think it comes with motion activated lasers or something."

Sebastian chuckled as he drained the rest of the coffee, getting up to pour another cup. Sebastian heard Kurt on his phone, talking with a customer service representative from ADT, ordering the upgrade. Sebastian leaned against the kitchen counter and watched Kurt. Kurt paced back and forth in the small living room while he talked, hand poised on his hip, staring down at his feet with a look of intense concentration. Sebastian had wrapped Kurt up in his red Harvard sweats, since the ice cold water had chilled Kurt straight to the bone. Sebastian looked at the fabric hanging off Kurt's thin body and grinned.

He loved those sweats on him. The 'dressed in my boyfriend's clothes' look really appealed to Sebastian. Kurt nodded a few times with a small sound of affirmation before saying good bye and hanging up the phone.

"All set," Kurt said, slipping the phone back into his jacket pocket.

Justice and Madeline picked Kurt and Sebastian up at the curb in front of Sebastian's apartment. Madeline leaned on the horn when the two men wouldn't stop making out long enough to acknowledge the presence of the town car idling, waiting for them. All four went to lunch together when they hit the mall. Over their meal, the two couples laughed and joked, avoiding the subject of the prior night's intruder, and what his presence in Kurt's life might mean.

Justice was the practical one who cut the meal short and ushered everyone out of the restaurant so he and Sebastian could get to work.

Sebastian opened the door for Kurt, taking him into his arms, not prepared to say good-bye. Kurt looped his arms around Sebastian's neck and kissed him passionately. From somewhere in the distance, where the world around them dissolved into ether at the touch of Kurt's lips to his, Sebastian heard Madeline's dreamy sigh.

"Kurt," Sebastian whispered as he gave his boyfriend one last squeeze, "I'm going to need your keys."

Kurt nodded as he reached in his pocket and pulled out his key ring. Kurt grabbed a silver and a gold key, threading them off the ring. Sebastian's hand stopped him.

"I need _all_ the keys, Kurt," Sebastian clarified.

Kurt looked at Sebastian with sad eyes, fingers clutching the two keys, not ready to let go.

Sebastian cupped Kurt's face in his free hand, rubbing their noses together sweetly.

"I need you to trust me, gorgeous," he whispered against Kurt's lips, brushing them lightly.

Kurt held the keys for one more moment, feeling the last of his resistance bleed away as Sebastian kissed him. Kurt replaced the keys, pressing them into Sebastian's palm and closing his fingers around them.

"Come on, loverboys," Madeline drawled as she tugged Kurt away. "You guys have work to do, and the time for shopping is nigh."

Sebastian watched Kurt, a momentary look of sorrow passing through his eyes, shifting the cyan irises to gray, before he turned to his bubbly companion, and followed her into Bloomingdale's. Sebastian sat in the front passenger seat and buckled his seat belt, turning his head to see Justice regarding him with sympathetic eyes. Sebastian smiled, a little weakly, a little warily. Justice put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"We'll get this done, Bastian," the man reassured him. "We'll keep him safe."

Sebastian nodded, smiling wider as Justice turned the key in the ignition, starting the car and driving them away.

The more time Sebastian spent with Justice, the more he learned about this soft-spoken mountain of a man. On a journey to find himself after high school, Justice had become a jack-of-all-trades, jumping from job to job until he found his calling - MMA fighting. At one point, he had worked as a security guard for a medical lab that tested its vaccinations on animals. Eventually, he had to quit on principle, but during the year he worked there he learned quite a bit about dealing with hostiles. In Justice's case, 'hostiles' were students from a local college who made it their constant mission to try and free the animals the lab kept for experimental purposes.

When they arrived at the house, Justice went through a checklist with Sebastian of the things they would be looking for: rusted window locks, loose door hinges, areas along the perimeter where someone could hide. Justice checked along the outside, while Sebastian took the inside. When the technician from the security company showed up, Justice shadowed the poor man like a silent hunter watching his quarry, observing the man closely as he changed the locks on the doors, and added a few new dead bolts on the inside. He installed the new security panels, programming them with a default number and recommended they reprogram it as soon as possible with a new personalized code. When Justice took the technician outside to install the motion sensor lights, Sebastian, lips twisted into a sly smirk, changed the code to 'gorgeous' until Kurt could fix it.

Sebastian went over the inside of the house, deciding to start with the lower level first before moving upstairs to the four rooms above, and the attic. The lower level only had two doors - the front door that had already been dealt with, and another door in the dining room that led to the back yard. Sebastian could hear Justice right outside talking with the tech about provisions for the door. Sebastian opened it for them, leaving it slightly ajar. He listened as Justice bombarded the man with demands in a low, dangerous voice. Sebastian laughed quietly. He almost felt sorry for the guy.

Sebastian made his way to the attic, deciding to tackle that space first. He hoped that if any bats remained in residence, that they would stay quiet and keep their rabies to themselves. There wasn't much to the space. Kurt didn't keep anything in it. Sebastian figured that after the bat incident, Kurt probably relocated anything he stored up there, locked the door, and never looked back. Sebastian could only see one opening in the attic - a decorative piece with slats that would have vented to the outside if not for a large piece of industrial metal mesh that had been installed to deter any unwelcome critters from making the attic a home.

Sebastian looked the screening over, tugging at the edges to make sure it was affixed nice and tight to the wall. He noticed that even if a human being could slice through the mesh, there was no way they could fit through the slats, so this would probably not be an entry point for any possible intruders. Just to be on the safe side, he decided to have a few dead bolts installed on the outside of the door. He sent a quick text to Justice before leaving the attic and locking the door, turning the door knob and pushing on it to make sure the lock kept the door shut tight.

After the attic, Sebastian decided to start with a walk through the rooms he already knew.

Kurt's work space had the one window over his desk that looked out onto the garden and the front of the house. Sebastian smiled at the organized chaos of the room - the piles of envelopes divided by Kurt's secret special system of filing, the large wood desk that took up almost half of the wall, the bookcases standing one beside the other like sentries watching over Kurt while he sorted through manuscript after manuscript. The locks on the window seemed sound, but Justice had mentioned laminating all the windows to make them shatterproof. Sebastian heard the whirring of a drill outside. He peeked through the glass to try and get a glimpse of the men installing motion sensors outside and remembered that the view of the lower part of the house was obscured from the top level. Sebastian texted Justice, asking him if there was some sort of mirror they could install that would give them that view. He heard the drilling outside stop, and then a moment later got a text in response.

_From: Justice  
On it!_

Sebastian shook his head with a smile. He was so thankful for the presence of this man in their lives. A loud noise sounded outside as Justice triggered the new alarms, testing to make sure the sensors worked.

Sebastian looked around the bedroom quickly. Just like the office, it only had the one window that looked out over the front of the house. This window, too, was locked. Sebastian took a peek through the closet, making certain that it had no access panels to the ceiling or floor, or any hidden ways someone could make their way into the house. Satisfied that no such access existed, he headed to the bathroom.

The single window in the bathroom was nothing more than a narrow slat with a pane of glass that pivoted in place. No animal larger than a mouse would be able to make its way inside. Sebastian tried to fit his arm through the space with no success.

The only remaining room was the one Sebastian affectionately referred to as The Tomb of Anubis...but only in his own head. Kurt said it was where he locked away old ghosts so he didn't have to deal with them. Sebastian wasn't sure what he would find in this room - answers to some of the questions he felt he didn't have the right to ask...or would it just lead to more questions?

Sebastian decided not to make it a big deal. He wasn't here to invade Kurt's privacy. He was here to make sure Kurt was safe. Sebastian walked to the door with purpose, unlocking it without any kind of ceremony. He decided to approach whatever waited inside the room with a detached demeanor.

He failed.

He opened the door and stopped short. He couldn't see an inch in front of his face. He stared at an expanse of inky black darkness that he could feel had depth, he just couldn't see it. Sebastian reached around on both walls in search of a light switch. His fingers came in contact with a small switch. He flipped it up. The only light source in the room, a single ceiling-mounted bonnet which housed a 60 watt bulb, bathed the room in a soft light, leaving much of the space in shadow.

Originally the master bedroom, this room was bigger than the other two combined. The room had only a few sparse pieces of furniture in it - an antique white vanity with a broken circular mirror, gilded at the edges in gold; a large, rectangular drawing table, like the kind engineers or designers used; a sewing table with a vintage sewing machine seated on it; and a free standing wooden wardrobe, standing on six intricately carved claw feet and almost as large as Kurt's closet. All around were stacks of unopened boxes piled neatly along the perimeter of the room, all sealed shut with numerous layers of packing tape. Some of the boxes were covered with dust. Sebastian assumed those boxes had come from the attic. Only a few of the boxes were marked. Some had single words written on them like 'designs', 'sketches', or 'fabric'. Two large boxes were marked 'CDs', and Sebastian realized that for as much as Kurt talked about music and singing, he had never heard Kurt play any music in the house. He didn't own a sound system or an MP3 player. He didn't stream music from his computer. Madeline didn't even play music in the car when they drove.

The rest of the boxes were either bare or had dates written on them instead of words. Doing some quick math in his head, Sebastian realized a few of these were from Kurt's senior year in high school, and one from his freshman year in college. Sebastian made his way to the closet in this room and opened it, searching for access panels in there as well, but this closet was filled to bursting from end to end with heavy boxes stacked all the way to the ceiling with only a narrow space left.

Sebastian walked to the far wall. The room had two windows with a view of the backyard, but these windows had been glued shut with some sort of heavy duty contractor's adhesive and covered over with thick, stiff pieces of black paper.

These were Kurt's ghosts - the last remnants of his past, packed into boxes and stacked away in the dark. Sebastian couldn't help but feel that what was left of Kurt's happiness was stored somewhere in here; all of the dreams that he had been forced to give up, all the hopes that had been ripped away. It made Sebastian angry to see it. He knew Kurt was better than the life he was living. Sebastian didn't even need to open a single box to know it. Kurt was brilliant and talented and worth so much more than the lot that had been thrust upon him. All of the stacks, all the boxes...this was where Kurt's dreams had been buried.

The room looked secure, so Sebastian made his way for the door. He had to leave. He couldn't stand to be in there. It was like standing in the middle of a graveyard. The boxes pressed in around him. He forced himself not to touch a single thing as he walked through the columns. Near the door, obscured by a stack of boxes he couldn't see around from the other side, were two boxes stacked one on top of the other. Both boxes were covered in metered postage. The box on the floor was hastily marked 'Finn's stuff'. The one on top was open.

Sebastian didn't want to look in it, but a framed photograph caught his attention. It was the same photo from Kurt's phone - the thumbnail of him with his first love, presumably at Prom. The thumbnail had only been of their upper bodies, faces beaming with smiles, arms wrapped around each other. In this photo, Sebastian could see the whole of them. Sebastian smiled, chuckling a bit when he noticed that Kurt was wearing a half kilt. The boy beside him, Sebastian had to admit, looked kind of hot. Sebastian wondered how long ago Kurt had changed that thumbnail on his phone.

Sebastian saw piles of photographs in the box - mostly of Kurt from high school, face lit up with that beautiful inner glow that Sebastian had only recently begun to see. He saw photos of Kurt with an older man, shorter than Kurt, wearing a flannel shirt and a baseball cap in nearly every photo. Sebastian assumed that this tired but happy looking man with the similar smile was Kurt's father. He flipped the photo over to see if there was anything written on the back, but no luck. A few group photos taken at school came next - Kurt with his arm around the shoulders of a feisty looking African American girl, and wrapped under his other arm, a girl with long, brown hair wearing a reindeer sweater. Sebastian shook his head, flipping through the photos of a sweet, shy looking young man, same chestnut colored hair, same amazing fashion sense, but with a different sadness in his iridescent blue eyes. Sebastian stopped at a series of photos of a teenage Kurt dressed in a criminally tight red and white cheerleading uniform. Salivating and feeling slightly perverted, he imagined what it would have been like meeting Kurt in high school.

Sebastian sighed.

He would have wrecked this poor boy.

Sebastian stacked the photos neatly, trying his best to keep them in the same order he had found them. He lifted the framed photograph to replace the small pile beneath it. Another photo, stuck to the back of the frame, broke free and fluttered to the floor. Sebastian replaced the pile of photos and the frame. He bent down to pick up the photograph. Standing, he flipped the photo over, and became immediately sick. Kurt, slouched slightly, his face a pale mask, his eyes dull, stared into the lens of the camera, looking like he might be sick himself. A thick arm wrapped around Kurt's narrow shoulders, and attached to that arm, the body of a behemoth, holding Kurt close, possessively. The man wore jeans and an ill-fitting polo shirt. He was at least twice Kurt's size if not more. But the face in the photograph had been scratched out violently with a ballpoint pen.

Sebastian felt his arm go numb.

This had to be him. This had to be the man.

Sebastian folded the photo carefully and shoved it into his pocket, his whole body prickling. Sebastian turned off the light, watching as the room and all its contents disappeared into darkness before shutting and locking the door.

Sebastian's whole body felt heavy as he walked back down the stairs, trudging down each step one at a time with the weight of the photograph in his pocket, his only clue to the identity of Kurt's abusive ex scratched out.

Sebastian checked the time on his phone. It was almost four o'clock. So many hours without his gorgeous boyfriend on a Saturday. This did not sit well with him. To make matters worse, Sebastian noticed he had missed seven messages from Kurt. Several were picture messages - one of Kurt and Madeline trying on hats and sunglasses, making silly faces for the camera; one of Kurt posing in a new pair of green skinny jeans; and the last one - Sebastian's favorite by far - of Kurt blowing him a kiss into the camera. The message attached to the photo said simply 'I love you'.

"I love you, too," Sebastian said, lightly pecking Kurt's image on the screen.

Sebastian heard the men outside, and from what he could make of their conversation, it sounded like they were wrapping things up.

He scanned the living room one last time. He looked at the framed pictures on the walls, the various pieces of furniture, the piano in the corner with its tiny stool. He smiled.

A place for everything and everything in its place.

His eyes fell on his book, lying on the sofa...Island of Fear. Sebastian didn't know why, but something about the paperback novel, sitting on the couch cushion, bothered him. He walked over to the sofa and picked up the book. It didn't look any different than it did when he had dropped it on the floor yesterday.

Sebastian felt the hairs on the back of his neck start to prickle, rising one by one to stand on end.

He had dropped it on the floor when he had gone down on Kurt. Who moved it back to the couch?

Sebastian tried to think, tried to recall the events from the previous evening. Sebastian had carried Kurt upstairs, and didn't come back down until the intruder tried to break in. It was conceivable with all the hustle and bustle of the police showing up that evening that he or Kurt had picked up the book, but why?

The more Sebastian thought it over, the more he became convinced.

Heavy, shuffling footsteps caught Sebastian's attention, breaking him from his train of thought. Sebastian gripped the book in his hands, squeezing around it like a vice. The footsteps stopped at the front door. He turned quickly with the book still in his hands to see Justice signing some paperwork on a clipboard. He handed the clipboard over to the technician, who waved good-bye to both men, looking eager to get away from the larger, intimidating man. Justice took one look at Sebastian and knew something was wrong.

"What's up, Bastian?" the massive man asked.

"I think someone was in here," Sebastian said, holding up the book. "After we left last night, I think someone broke in."

Sebastian tried to think. Did they lock both door locks? Close all the windows? Did they set the alarm before they left? Sebastian had punched in the special pass code to disarm the system when he and Justice had arrived that afternoon, but he couldn't for the life of him remember if he heard the little beep that meant the system had shut down. What if it was already turned off and he didn't realize it?

"What do you want to do?" Justice asked. "Call the police?"

Sebastian shook his head.

"What am I going to tell them? I think someone broke in because I can't remember for sure whether or not I left this book on the couch after I ate out my boyfriend?"

He tossed the book on the sofa. Getting a sudden idea, he looked under the sofa again. Kurt's computer and Sebastian's digital camera were both there.

Sebastian wanted to feel relieved, but he couldn't.

If someone broke in after they left, why not take two expensive electronics sitting not a foot from where this cruddy ass book lay?

Someone whose purpose for breaking in wasn't to steal anything.

Someone who wanted to freak them out...or send them a message.

Sebastian's whole body froze over. He would need to find this asshole, and fast.

He knew Kurt didn't want Sebastian to find him.

Sebastian had the feeling, whether Kurt wanted it or not, that he would be meeting the man, and soon.

"Justice?" Sebastian looked at the wrestler standing just in the door way. "Do you think you and Madeline would like to stay the weekend?"

Justice's eyes went wide, and a strange smile curled his lips.

"I think we would love it," Justice answered with an understanding nod.

"Great," Sebastian looked down at the book - such an innocent, innocuous little thing that now made his blood run cold. His eyes burned over it. Sebastian chewed on the inside of his cheek as he came to a decision. "I need your help with something else, too, if you don't mind."

"What's that?" Justice asked.

Sebastian looked around the room, sweeping his eyes up and around at this quaint little living space that had now turned into a fortress he would need to find a way to protect.

"I'm going to be moving out of my apartment today."


	17. Chapter 15

Justice drove Sebastian back to his apartment to pack up his things. He called Kurt on the way to let him know that he had decided to take him up on his offer. Not only that, Sebastian wanted to move in that day. Kurt unsure how to react, grabbed Madeline's hand and squeezed it tight. He had hoped against hope that Sebastian would reconsider. He jumped up and down on the balls of his feet as he listened to Sebastian talk, biting his lip so he wouldn't do anything too embarrassing.

By the time Sebastian had finished telling him how much he loved him, how he would feel better being a constant presence so he would know Kurt was safe, how it was all heading that way anyway regardless of some possible freakazoid stalker because all Sebastian really wanted to do was spend time with Kurt, Kurt was a happily blubbering mess.

Kurt tried several times to put together an appropriate response, but only succeeded in standing like a stone statute, mouth hanging comically agape. Madeline took the phone.

"What the fuck did you do, Sebastian?" she asked, bemused. "Propose?"

"Not yet," Sebastian said with a sly, teasing tone. "I'm moving in."

"Holy shit!" Madeline exclaimed, jumping up and down as well. "That's fantastic!"

"I would like to think so." Sebastian chuckled. "Can I talk to my boyfriend now?"

Madeline looked at Kurt, still shivering slightly with an elated, far away look in his deeply blue eyes.

"Uh...your boyfriend seems to have gone catatonic," Madeline said, placing a small kiss on the back of the hand she still held. "I'm going to have to take him to Nordie's and revive him. Men's department. Meet us there."

"Alright."

Madeline could hear Sebastian and Justice laughing over the line.

Madeline hung up the phone, slipping it into Kurt's jacket pocket. She took Kurt's other hand in her, catching Kurt's gaze as he finally returned to earth.

"He's moving in," Kurt said with quiet awe.

Madeline nodded, her smile growing to epic proportions.

"He is," she affirmed.

"He'll be living in my house..." he continued, as if he hadn't been clear the first time.

"Yup. Which means you guys are going to be having monumental amounts of sex." Madeline bit her lip, watching the play of emotions over Kurt's face. His blue-gray eyes went impossibly wide, his slight quivering smile suddenly fell, flushed porcelain skin went pale.

"I...I have nothing to wear!"

Madeline huffed out an incredulous laugh, looking down at the five bags Kurt had accumulated over the course of the afternoon.

"Nothing to wear, huh?" Madeline smiled wryly.

"No, not like that." Kurt squeezed her hands, pulling her closer to whisper in her ear. "To bed...w-with a man."

Madeline snickered like a teenager.

"You guys have been dating for a while now. I just assumed you both spent your days lounging around naked."

Kurt's cheeks glowed as he shook his head violently.

"No...no...I have some flannel pajama pants and..." Kurt's lips twisted into a horrified grimace, "no new underwear! Ugh!"

Madeline laughed, heaving so hard she couldn't breathe. She started gathering Kurt's bags as the stunned and mortified man watched.

"Come on." Madeline grabbed Kurt's hand and pulled him along. "How do you think your man would like you in black satin?"

Kurt's lips curled into a bashful smile.

"Green," Kurt replied quietly. "It has to be emerald green."

* * *

Since all Sebastian really owned were a few outfits and a coffee maker, he and Justice had his apartment packed up in about an hour. He made three or four sweeps to make sure he hadn't missed any of Kurt's belongings even though Kurt hadn't really unpacked. He texted his brother to give him his new address and turned in his keys to the manager. He figured he had lost his security deposit, but he could care less.

He needed to keep his Kurt safe.

Justice and Sebastian met Madeline and Kurt in the men's department just as the cashier behind the register handed Kurt his bags. Sebastian pulled Kurt aside, wrapping him up in his arms and kissing him soundly on the mouth to a chorus of dreamy sighs and one exaggerated groan, cut short by a single glare from Justice's burning brown eyes.

"Well," Sebastian murmured to his breathless boyfriend, "it looks like you guys spent some money. Have fun?"

Kurt nodded as Sebastian kissed him again, holding him closer so Kurt could feel just how much Sebastian missed him.

"You going to model for me later?" Sebastian nibbled Kurt's lips as he spoke.

"If you'd like," Kurt whispered, his breath completely stolen by the touch of Sebastian's soft mouth.

"I would," Sebastian said, patting Kurt on the ass affectionately. "But, of course, I like you completely naked, too, so I'm a little torn."

Kurt swallowed hard, unable to speak.

"Luckily," Sebastian moved up Kurt's jawline to suck on Kurt's earlobe, "I don't have to chose. I get both, don't I?"

Kurt couldn't think of any appropriate response - nothing witty, bitchy, or smart came to mind. He simply nodded again after a pause, and Sebastian laughed.

"Let's go _home_." Sebastian put emphasis on the word 'home' as he kissed Kurt one last time on the cheek. Kurt bent to gather up his bags, but Sebastian beat him to it, offering Kurt his arm when he had everything situated.

Sebastian hadn't told Kurt over the phone that he had invited Justice and Madeline to spend the night. He was nervous that Kurt might not be happy about the idea of having guests over.

He needn't have worried.

"Oh my God!" Kurt squealed, slapping his hand excitedly on the back of the car seat. "A sleep over! I haven't had a sleep over since high school."

Sebastian shook his head as he pulled Kurt against him and kissed him, forgoing conversation with their friends for a heated make-out session with Kurt in the back seat of the town car. Madeline bit her lip, resisting the urge to stare at them through the vanity mirror, though she did steal a glance every once in a while. Every time she did, Justice took her hand and squeezed it, shaking his head subtly with a small smile on his lips.

Kurt missed having guests over. He rushed around, trying his best to be the perfect host, fixing drinks and making snacks. Kurt managed to fix a gourmet meal for the four of them - cutting, cooking, and basting while the other three sat around the table and talked. Sebastian tried to lend a hand, but Kurt made it clear that he would cut his hand off if he touched anything. Sebastian, never one to back down from a challenge, slipped his arms around Kurt's waist, one hand sneaking down to cup his cock and palm it gently.

"I'm touching something," Sebastian whispered, rubbing his stubbly cheek against Kurt's smooth skin as he kissed Kurt's ear. "Are you going to cut my hand off now?"

Kurt whimpered as Sebastian's hand continued to move, Kurt's cock becoming half-hard, but Kurt didn't miss a beat as he julienned vegetables and laid them out on a platter. Sebastian sucked gently on Kurt's alabaster skin, leaving small purple marks along the column of his neck.

"We're not going to become one of _those_ couples, are we?" Kurt breathed quietly.

"What kind is that, gorgeous?" Sebastian licked around the shell of Kurt's ear, feeling Kurt twitch against him.

"The kind th-that makes-out and h-has sex in every r-room of the house." Kurt's voice quivered as Sebastian applied more pressure, small circles becoming faster over the growing bulge in Kurt's pants.

"Oh, Kurt," Sebastian moaned as he moved closer to Kurt, rubbing his own erection over the seam of Kurt's pants where it nestled between his cheeks. "That's _exactly_ the kind of couple we're going to be."

Kurt turned his head, hoping that he could come up with a snappy comment, but Sebastian was ready for him, stealing one kiss after the other before a single word could escape his lips. Kurt loved when Sebastian kissed him like this - just a soft slide of his mouth against Kurt's skin, the gentle caress of his tongue claiming his, the brief sigh into Kurt's mouth as Sebastian breathed, the way he hummed against him.

They didn't realize that Justice and Madeline had gone quiet, watching them with matching smirks.

"Let us know when you guys are done," Madeline said. "Otherwise we're ordering take out."

"Uh..." Sebastian laughed against Kurt's lips, pressed flushed against him with a tremendous erection pressing against his jeans. Moving at the moment was not an option.

"I'll bring you the veggies," Sebastian said, amused gaze locked onto Kurt's smiling eyes, "if you just give me a minute."

Madeline got up from her seat in Justice's lap and sauntered up to the counter.

"Never mind, stallion," she teased. "I'll get it myself. Take as long as you need."

* * *

They stayed up most of the night talking, laughing, and playing mindless board games - Trivial Pursuit, followed by Monopoly, and finally a rousing game of Pictionary. Sebastian and Justice took turns performing security checks throughout the house and around the property, making sure the lights went off when people triggered them, and that the interior alarms sounded when the lights went on. The night started to wind down when Madeline, yawning behind her hand more times than Kurt could count, drew yet another penis-looking object as her Pictionary clue. Both Kurt and Sebastian were floored when Justice guessed 'chocolate chip cookies', which happened to be the correct answer, winning them the game.

"Okay," Justice announced, taking his still yawning girlfriend in his arms, "I think it's time we hit the hay."

Justice and Madeline decided to camp out on a king-sized air mattress in the living room. Kurt and Madeline sat on the stairs with a bowl of popcorn, openly ogling their men as they moved the furniture to accommodate the large inflatable mattress.

Kurt and Sebastian retired upstairs, taking a moment before they climbed the stairs to hug and kiss their guests. Madeline held Kurt a little longer and whispered, "Remember the red bag," before throwing Kurt a suggestive wink.

Kurt rolled his eyes, but blushed all the same. Sebastian took Kurt's hand and lead him upstairs.

Kurt watched Sebastian undress, loving the long lines of Sebastian's back and the definition in his legs, caressing his body softly with his intense gaze, silently mapping all the places he planned to trace with his tongue. Kurt's eyes darted over to the red bag in the corner of the room, nestled in among the other bags from his shopping excursion. He had bought it in the hopes of seducing Sebastian, He hoped it would be subtle, yet effective. After a moment of thought, he decided on a different, more direct approach.

Kurt walked nonchalantly into Sebastian's line of sight, not acknowledging at all that he noticed Sebastian's eyes follow his movement, then began to slowly pull off his clothes.

"What are you doing?" Sebastian asked, as he watched Kurt undress...first his pants, then his boxer briefs, and finally his t-shirt. Sebastian's gaze swept over his boyfriend's body appreciatively, enjoying the look of Kurt's beautiful, toned form without clothes hiding it.

"I'm trying to become a little more comfortable in my own skin," Kurt explained, walking over to Sebastian and looping his arms around his waist. "Do you mind?"

"No," Sebastian whispered. "Not at all."

Sebastian took in a deep breath and held it. He lifted Kurt up so that he could kiss him deeply. Kurt's lips found Sebastian's in an instant, as if kissing him wasn't a question, it was an inevitable end. Sebastian ran experimental fingertips down Kurt's back, wondering, a little morbidly, what he could feel with his skin so scarred. It seemed, though, that Kurt's back was an unexplored pleasure center. Every sweep of fingertips over Kurt's bare skin got the same reaction as the swirl of Sebastian's tongue around his entrance. Sebastian imagined it had been a long time since anyone had touched Kurt's back.

Sebastian backed Kurt up toward the nearest wall, turning Kurt around to face it. Sebastian moved Kurt carefully, stretching his arms out to brace himself against the wall while Sebastian moved behind him. He could feel Kurt's body go rigid, still frightened to some degree that Sebastian would find him disgusting. Sebastian didn't want Kurt to dwell. He kissed along every inch of skin he could find. Kurt moaned at the feeling of Sebastian's tongue - warm, silky, and perfect - as it traveled over his back. Pure pleasure caused tremors to race along Kurt's skin.

"I...I can't believe...you're doing that," Kurt panted.

"Why not?" Sebastian whispered. "Kurt, there isn't a single bit of you that isn't gorgeous."

Kurt gave a small snort of derision.

Sebastian didn't stop, refused to relent. Covering Kurt's body in kisses became a mission. He started at the cigar scar on his shoulder blade and traveled to the bruise on the opposite shoulder blade. Down Kurt's back his lips traveled; trading soft, sensuous kisses for nibbles and bites with a little sting to them.

His mouth moved on its own, over the swell of Kurt's ass to bite hard at his left cheek. Sebastian smiled when Kurt yelped, but didn't flinch or pull away. He traced the lines of Kurt's muscles to the back of his knee, licking small circles in the bend. Kurt moaned, his knee failing him for a moment. Sebastian moved back up to lavish more attention to Kurt's sensitive back.

Sebastian found himself speaking, as he often did, without planning what he was going to say.

"You are beauty," Sebastian said against Kurt's broken skin, "style...elegance... You make me happier than I've ever been. You make me want to be a better man."

He felt Kurt's body shudder in waves, vibrating like a guitar string, tuned too tightly and then plucked. Sebastian longed to heighten the experience, to feel those tremors over every inch of Kurt's body, until his knees buckled and not a single muscle had the strength to hold him upright.

"God, Kurt..." Sebastian purred, "my prince..." hands traveling down Kurt's arms to cover Kurt's hands. "Honestly, my love, I just want to fuck you up against this wall until you scream my name."

Kurt furrowed his brow, turning his head slightly to look at Sebastian, confused by his sudden change in tone.

"Sebastian...what are you..."

"Kurt," Sebastian breathed against his neck, reaching down to grab Kurt's hips and hold them against him, rubbing over his crack with the proof of his desire for him, "you're so sweet...like sugar...like honey...and I could spend all night licking you up..." Kurt turned his head away, squeezing his eyes tight, flushed red to his roots at how amazing that sounded. "...but right now," Sebastian continued, his voice dropping low, velvet along Kurt's skin, "I'm in the mood to get a little dirty...is that okay with you?"

Kurt swallowed hard, but he nodded with barely any forethought.

"Yes," Kurt breathed, "yes."

Sebastian's lips barely brushed Kurt's skin before the bite came, Sebastian's teeth sinking into the soft skin of Kurt's neck. Kurt whimpered, throwing his head back as far as he could, back arching, begging Sebastian for more. Sebastian's hand, fingers splayed, moved over Kurt's chest, lightly running over his neck, his jawline, until they reached the perfect pink lips of Kurt's mouth, swollen from biting. Sebastian traced Kurt's lip with his index finger while he bit a dark mark onto Kurt's neck. Kurt moaned. Kurt's lips parted as he sucked in a quick breath, and Sebastian slipped the finger into Kurt's mouth.

Kurt closed his lips around it, sucking vengefully, swirling his tongue around it, imaging all the things he would do with the heat of Sebastian's generous cock in his mouth, heavy against his tongue. Sebastian groaned, long and loud, as his cock twitched where it stood nestled against Kurt's ass.

Sebastian removed the finger reluctantly, bringing the slick digit down to Kurt's entranced. Sebastian circled around it delicately. Kurt sank to his elbows, resting his forehead against the wall as he struggled to stay upright. Sebastian's finger slowly breached the ring of muscle, slipping in inch by inch.

"Oh, Kurt..." Sebastian peppered his shoulders with gentle pecks. "You're so tight...so beautifully...amazingly tight..."

Sebastian's other hand found Kurt's throbbing cock and held it firmly in his fist. Kurt's hips began to move as Sebastian's finger moved slowly inside him. Sebastian simply held him, letting Kurt fuck into his hand slowly.

"That's right, gorgeous." Sebastian smiled as he watched Kurt's hips move, almost of their own volition. "Use me. Make yourself feel good."

Kurt's cheeks flamed red, but he couldn't stop himself. Sebastian's finger in his ass felt so good stretching him, his hand around his cock warm and a little rough.

"Do you want another?" Sebastian whispered. Kurt nodded, his face still hidden.

Sebastian wanted to try and push Kurt, see how far out of his comfort zone he could take him.

"Kurt?" Sebastian kissed Kurt's shoulder. "Could you look at me?"

Kurt didn't want to. God, he didn't want to. He wanted to hide in the dark and feel. He had taken a step, and he had done it in front of Sebastian.

It wasn't an act. He _did_ want to be more comfortable in his skin.

Like forcing himself to jump when he was too afraid to fall, Kurt turned his face toward Sebastian, crimson beyond belief. Sebastian watched Kurt's eyes fight to open. Sebastian's heart dropped, seeing how difficult a struggle this was for him.

Kurt's eyelids flew open suddenly, ice blue eyes piercing, burning with a palpable, inner flame.

Sebastian's sly grin twisted his lips.

"Hello, gorgeous." Sebastian's smile, warm and generous, calmed Kurt, slowed the heart that was threatening to break free from his chest as it thrummed wildly inside his ribcage.

Sebastian's finger didn't stop its cruel assault as he kept his eyes locked to Kurt's, nor did his hand move from Kurt's cock. Kurt stopped moving his hips, but now Sebastian moved them with his hips rutting smoothly against him.

"Could you ask me?" Sebastian whispered, his eyes reflecting all of the love, all of the affection he had for this man.

Kurt's mouth dropped, his lips forming a little 'o', his head shaking imperceptibly.

"Kurt..." Sebastian rubbed his nose gently. "I like to hear you talk."

Sebastian kissed the tip of Kurt's nose.

"I like to know what you want me to do..."

Kiss on the cheek.

"...how I can make you feel good..."

Kiss on the neck.

"...how I can turn you on..."

Kiss on the shoulder.

"Tell me what you want, gorgeous."

Sebastian's voice was a whisper, like silk sliding smoothly across Kurt's skin. Kurt had no power against it. He was prisoner to it, had to surrender to it. It made him feel safe. It made him feel loved. Here in this space where only he and Sebastian existed, nothing could hurt him, nothing could touch him, nothing could make him feel weak or ugly.

Sebastian's love gave him strength.

Kurt swallowed, fixing Sebastian with his fire and ice gaze. His lips, swollen and flushed with color, begging to be kissed, quivered slightly.

"Sebastian?" Kurt began, trying to steady his voice. "Sebastian, would you please..."

Kurt closed his eyes again. Sebastian's finger never stopped its slow slide in and out. Kurt's arms, propped by his elbows against the wall, started to shake.

Kurt opened his eyes, Sebastian's comforting gaze still bound to his.

"Would you please..." Kurt continued, praying his voice wouldn't break,"...put another finger inside me?"

Kurt's voice didn't falter. His eyes didn't dart away. He licked his lips as Sebastian's smile widened.

"Of course," he said. He kissed Kurt again, a little filthier, but Kurt loved it. Kurt loved how Sebastian crashed their lips together, dominated his mouth with his tongue, pressed against him until he almost forgot to breathe. It distracted Kurt from the slight burn as Sebastian added another finger, slowly stretching Kurt over and over, pushing in, pulling out, scissoring. Sebastian loved Kurt's heat, loved how tightly he hugged him, how he fit him like a glove.

Kurt moaned into Sebastian's mouth, but he only deepened the kiss, biting Kurt's tongue gently, causing Kurt to breathe in sharply. Sebastian searched inside him, twisting his fingers, gently exploring. Kurt pushed back against him, trying to guide Sebastian where he needed him, quietly begging Sebastian to find him out. Sebastian stroked Kurt's cock slowly, twisting his wrist a bit beneath the head.

Sebastian knew what Kurt wanted...knew where the spot was hiding. He just wanted to hear Kurt say it...tell him what he wanted out loud.

Sebastian had expected Kurt to ask him to add a third finger, to touch him where he desperately needed to be touched.

Kurt, on the other hand, had a different idea.

"Ugh," Kurt groaned in frustration when Sebastian missed for the fourth time in a row. "Fuck me, Sebastian!"

Sebastian stopped, his eyes wide.

He hadn't expected that.

"Wh-what?" Sebastian surprised himself to hear his own voice shaking.

"You said you wanted to fuck me against this wall," Kurt ground out between trembling lips and gritted teeth. "I can't take the teasing. I want _you_ , Sebastian. I want to feel _you_."

Sebastian swallowed loudly at this request, at the sound of desperation in Kurt's voice, which seemed to drop an octave as he spoke.

"Are you sure?" Sebastian asked, taken back by Kurt's change from his normally shy demeanor, but by no means was he complaining.

"Yes, Sebastian," Kurt growled.

"Just...one more time, please." Old Sebastian, simmering close to the surface, flashed his sly, sarcastic grin. He stopped the movement of his fingers altogether, chuckling darkly when Kurt tried to fuck himself down on them.

"Ugh, Sebastian!" Kurt pulled away, walking out of Sebastian's arms and across the room toward the bed. Sebastian watched him go, nervous that he'd crossed a line. Kurt's face had faded from crimson to porcelain, hard and unyielding. The set line of Kurt's mouth gave no indication of his current emotion. Sebastian didn't know what to say, just watched Kurt, dumbfounded, as he rummaged through the bedside table drawer, reaching to the back to fish something out.

He pulled his closed fist from the drawer, and shut it, making his way back to Sebastian, face set, eyes almost glaring.

Almost.

Sebastian looked into his eyes and saw the playful dance of a hidden fire, melting through the ice.

Kurt held his hand out to Sebastian. Sebastian, mesmerized, held his hand out to receive what Kurt had in his hand. Before looking at the offering in his palm, Kurt turned back to the wall, taking his position with arms outstretched and legs slightly spread. Sebastian, bemused, looked at the items curled in his fingers - a small ampule of lube and a condom.

He looked back at Kurt, who gazed over his shoulder at him, batting his eyes demurely.

"Fuck me, Sebastian?" Kurt asked in the sweetest possible voice he had ever heard, playful, mocking, and full of Kurt's own brand of sinful sarcasm.

Something in the tone of Kurt's voice connected with Sebastian's brain - the tease, the taunt, all the things he had thought he was in store for when he first met Kurt, and here they were, wrapped in the body of a man he had fallen in love with.

That made all the difference.

Sebastian couldn't wait. They didn't need anymore foreplay, no more words. Something raw and animal took over both of them. Sebastian slid the condom on and lubed his aching cock. While Kurt waited, his whole body tensed, coiled like viper ready to strike the moment Sebastian came near.

Earlier in the morning, when they had made love, was about comfort, acceptance. What they had in the moment when Sebastian wrapped the whole of his body around Kurt, claiming him entirely, was about pleasure...seduction. Sebastian had shown Kurt that he was loved. Now he wanted to show him how sexy, captivating, and enticing a man he was.

Sebastian's mouth captured Kurt's as he pushed into him slowly, feeling his body accept him, devour him, engulf him with his heat.

"Oh, God," Kurt breathed when Sebastian freed his mouth. Sebastian's hands traveled over Kurt's arms, covering his hands against the wall, trapping them there.

Sebastian lay his cheek on the top of Kurt's head as he tried to move patiently, back just a bit and then forward just a bit, back and forth, shallow thrusts, until Kurt's body adjusted to the intrusion, and Kurt no longer hissed as Sebastian tried to enter him.

At least, that was the plan.

Kurt curled his hands into fists, knuckles turning white, and slammed back against Sebastian's body, taking him to the hilt. Sebastian, mouth moving slowly over Kurt's skin, bit down hard to muffle a scream. Kurt threw his head back, biting back a scream of his own, breathing heavily, trying to will away the burn.

"Damn, Kurt," Sebastian groaned, blinking away the stars behind his eyelids, "warn a guy, will you?"

Kurt panted, eyes squeezed shut.

"I thought I did," Kurt said between breaths as his body began to relax, "when I told you to fuck me."

"So, my man wants to play," Sebastian purred along the column of Kurt's neck. "Then, I'll play."

Sebastian didn't hold back when he fucked into Kurt. Sebastian had the presence of mind to feel guilty for a moment when he slammed into Kurt and heard the man hiss. He stopped for a moment, waiting for the go ahead. Kurt grabbed Sebastian's hip, pulling him forward.

The sound of Sebastian's body pounding against Kurt's was obscene and pornographic. Kurt's kisses became desperate as Sebastian sped up his pace. Sebastian could feel Kurt smile against his mouth.

That smile was the fuel. It opened the flood gates. Sebastian drilled into Kurt, hitting him hard, mercilessly. Kurt's whimpers were like wine to Sebastian. He couldn't get enough.

"Talk to me, Sebastian," Kurt begged, his voice barely a squeak.

Sebastian didn't know if he could. He could barely breathe, let alone speak. Kurt's body took Sebastian's breath away, and Kurt was giving him permission to use it. It scared Sebastian a bit. He was afraid he might break Kurt in two. Sebastian's hips were a blur as he moved. He didn't imagine Kurt could take much more.

"God, Kurt," Sebastian moaned, feeling his hips start to stutter. "You have such an incredible body."

"Yeah?" Kurt asked quietly, hips pushing back, trying to meet Sebastian's thrusts.

"Yeah," Sebastian returned. "You're so fucking tight, and you take me so well."

Kurt laughed, the singular sound high-pitched and clear, like the ring of a bell.

"You're so fucking huge, Sebastian," Kurt said with a giggle that turned into a low whine.

"Am I?" Sebastian smirked, trying to sound modest, but he had heard it before.

"Yeah," Kurt whispered. "Yeah, you are."

"Do you like that?" Sebastian nibbled Kurt's earlobe. "Do you like that I'm so big inside you?"

"Yes," Kurt breathed, barely even a sound to his voice. Sebastian felt Kurt tighten, felt his heat clench around him.

"Good," Sebastian said with a possessive growl deep within his throat, "because no one else is going to make you feel like this, Kurt. No one else is going to fuck you like this. No one else is going to be big enough to satisfy you."

Kurt shook his head, his body going still, absorbing Sebastian's blows.

"There won't be anyone else," Kurt muttered, lost to the orgasm that was building within him.

Those words from Kurt's lips made Sebastian's heart sing.

Sebastian watched beads of sweat break free from Kurt's hairline and travel over his skin. His legs quavered, his knees threatening to buckle. His head hung forward, his outstretched arms pinned in place by Sebastian's hands. He looked tortured, crucified. Sebastian moved a hand to grab Kurt's throbbing cock, stroking slowly against the merciless pounding of his hips.

"Oh, yes," Kurt muttered. "Oh, yes."

It became a quiet chant, barely holding himself together just so he could fall apart in Sebastian's arms.

"That's it, gorgeous," Sebastian said, resting his head against Kurt's back. "Keep going. Don't stop. You're almost there."

Sebastian felt sweat roll over his own shoulders, his own legs complaining, muscles screaming for relief.

"You're mine, Kurt," Sebastian whispered, almost to himself. "I'll never hurt you, never cheat on you, never lie to you. You mean everything to me, Kurt. My perfect, beautiful Kurt."

Sebastian ran his tongue over the scar on Kurt's shoulder, and then followed a line of dark marks he had made across Kurt's back.

Kurt moaned, a low, keening sound of surrender, as he came over Sebastian's fist.

"Yes, Kurt," Sebastian mumbled, littering Kurt's shoulders with filthy kisses, holding Kurt tight in his fist as he came.

Kurt sighed as he felt Sebastian losing control, cumming almost violently; felt his grip on his oversensitive cock release, and his body fall slack against him. Sebastian stood still, long after his body stopped vibrating, and for a moment, pinned between Sebastian and the wall, Kurt thought he might have actually fallen asleep. Kurt chuckled, turning his head to catch a glimpse of Sebastian, who he was surprised to discover, stared quietly back.

"What?" Kurt asked self-consciously, watching Sebastian's eyes cloud over with worry.

"D-did you like that?" Sebastian asked. "Truthfully?"

Kurt nodded, a deliberate bob of his head.

"Yes," he said, hoping to dispel Sebastian's fears. "Very much. Maybe not all the time, but...I told you. I'm not delicate."

Sebastian took a deep, broken breath, resting his forehead against Kurt's shoulder.

"What is it?" Sebastian's defeated expression worried Kurt.

"I...I don't want to remind you of him," Sebastian said. "I don't want you to be afraid of me."

Sebastian slid to the floor, taking Kurt with him, settling the man into his lap as he continued to rest against him. Kurt wrapped his arms around Sebastian, kissing the top of his head, wincing quietly at the feeling of sweat against his skin.

"You don't remind me of him," Kurt said. "There is nothing you do that reminds me of him."

Sebastian tilted his face up to look in Kurt's eyes - invitingly blue, like the summer sky at dawn.

"He was a monster, Sebastian," Kurt said with a smile. "But you, you're like a gift."

Kurt chuckled.

"You're my person."

Sebastian cradled Kurt in his arms and rocked him back and forth, content to wrap himself around Kurt's body and keep him shielded from the world, the monsters, and the hate.

Kurt and Sebastian showered together, taking turns washing each other between delicate touches and soft kisses.

Eyes heavy from the warm, soothing water and the ambitious sex, Sebastian crawled into bed, mostly damp, wearing only his boxer briefs. Kurt approached the bed in similar dress when Sebastian stopped him with a devilish grin and a raised eyebrow.

"What?" Kurt asked.

"What's in the red bag, Kurt?" Sebastian asked.

Kurt smiled, looking over his shoulder to where the bag lay.

"Oh, it's...uh..."

"You know," Sebastian interrupted,"you're not getting in this bed until you show me."

Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Alright. Close your eyes."

Sebastian obeyed, snickering as he heard Kurt mutter under his breath.

"Jeez, you're as bad as Madeline," Kurt lamented.

Sebastian heard the rustle of the bag and the crinkle of paper. A moment past, filled with some heavy sighs, and a titter. Finally, Kurt commanded Sebastian to open his eyes.

Sebastian's eyelids fluttered open and beheld the image of his gorgeous Kurt, still shirtless, wearing the most sinful pair of satin emerald green pajama pants Sebastian had ever seen.

"Oh, Kurt," Sebastian said, holding his arms out in hopes Kurt would rush over and fall into them. "Tell me you're going to wear those to bed tonight."

"Do...do you want me to?" Kurt asked, looking down at the silky fabric clinging to his legs.

"Yes," Sebastian said, with a nod for emphasis. "Absolutely. I need to feel you, in those pants, against my skin."

Kurt climbed under the covers beside Sebastian, who took no time grabbing him around the waist and holding him tight.

Kurt's cheek touched Sebastian's chest, and before he could breathe Sebastian in, they were both asleep.

* * *

Sebastian woke up to the sound of his alarm. It seemed like only minutes after he had fallen asleep beneath Kurt's body, legs draped in those sinful emerald satin pajamas. Sebastian smiled at the silky feel of them against his bare legs.

Again, the alarm went off. Sebastian scrunched his nose. It sounded so different. When had he changed his alarm? And odd that he would set his alarm, since he wasn't going to work. It was Sunday. Sebastian reached for his phone beneath his pillow and looked at it.

3:00 A.M.

No alarm set.

Sebastian felt a menacing chill creep up his body, followed by a wave of blistering fury.

The bastard had the balls to come back.

"Seb'stian?" a sleepy Kurt muttered. "Why did...your alarm...Sund'y..."

Sebastian's mouth went dry as he considered whether or not he should wake Kurt. He didn't want Kurt to constantly live in fear. Even if the intruder had come back, Sebastian was certain there was no way he could make it inside.

Sebastian was carefully slipping out from beneath Kurt's sleeping body before Justice even knocked on the door.

"Bastian?" the gruff voice called in a hoarse whisper.

"I heard it, Justice." Sebastian tossed on his jeans, and opened the door. Justice peeked past Sebastian to a mumbling Kurt, still mostly asleep on the bed.

"Should we wake him?" Justice asked.

Sebastian looked over his shoulder, his heart melting at the serene look on Kurt's face.

"No," Sebastian said. "Hopefully it's nothing."

Another alarm sounded.

Both men raced down the steps. Sebastian eyed Madeline in her black satin negligee sitting on the sofa, and blanket wrapped around her shoulders to block out the morning chill. She looked at Sebastian and Justice with heavily hooded eyes, deep set with sleep and worry.

"Is he..." she began, directing her gaze to Sebastian.

"Still asleep," Sebastian finished, tossing on his Harvard sweatshirt.

"I'm going to go sit with him," she announced, getting up from her seat on the couch and making her way up the stairs, blanket trailing behind her like a cloak, "just in case he wakes up."

Both men nodded as they watched her walk past them. Sebastian grabbed the keys off the hook by the door. Sebastian pressed a button on the security panel that activated the flood lights around the house before opening the door. Justice gestured silently to Sebastian, counting off on his fingers. When he reached three, Justice pulled the door open swiftly in one movement. Outside the perimeter of the house was awash in bright white light from the spotlights set up around the house. They were positioned in an ingenious way. They lit up the house, eliminating the shadows, and would blind anyone in their wake, but from the threshold of the house, they gave a completely clear and unobstructed view of any possible intruder.

Sebastian looked over his shoulder, back into the house to make sure the back door hadn't been compromised in anyway. He saw the huge dead bolt still locked and the bars still thrown across the seam. Confident no one could get through there, he stepped out the door after Justice and locked it with the key, hearing the alarm re-initiate once the door shut. A fob on the key chain would disarm it when they wanted to go back inside.

Justice pointed to himself and then to the right. Then he pointed to Sebastian and again to the left, indicating that both men would circle the house from opposite directions.

Sebastian crept slowly along the outside of the house, his blood boiling as it rushed through his body. He tried not to think, not about his beautiful boyfriend asleep - warm and protected - upstairs in their bed, and not about the man from the photograph - a huge, hulking beast of a man as he stood beside Kurt - possibly waiting around the bend.

The lights guided Sebastian along. His eyes swept back and forth, peering into the few spaces the flood lights didn't reach.

Sebastian met up with Justice in the backyard. Justice motioned for Sebastian to continue around the house. Justice wanted to check the backyard shed and the area around the fence line.

Sebastian continued his trek along, feeling more and more confident that whoever had triggered the alarm was long gone. He knew it wasn't set off by accident. A cat or another small animal couldn't set them off. The state-of-the-art alarm sensors were calibrated so that they wouldn't be triggered anything smaller than child.

Sebastian came around the house to the front door. He swept his eyes all around the garden. The plants and the flowers had grown tall, but not tall enough for someone to hide in. Kurt had them so densely planted together that there would be an obvious depression if someone had leapt in among them to hide.

The quiet night had Sebastian on edge. Sebastian was never one to go looking for a fight, but he also never backed down. How could he now, when a battle had brought itself pretty much to his doorstep and threatened the one thing in the world he loved more than his own life?

Justice, for a large man, walked silently around the house, and Sebastian had to strain his ears to hear his footsteps in the backyard. His eyes peered through the darkness. Nothing seemed at all out of place, but something just felt off.

Sebastian had the strange feeling he was being watched.

Examined was more the word. He blinked his eyes as his gaze swept along the street, adjusting from the spot lights around the house to the dark of the neighborhood beyond the iron fence. In the dark shadows of the evening, Sebastian barely spotted a tall, thin figure, pale beneath the distant street lights, watching him. Sebastian squinted to see the person more clearly.

Dressed from head to toe in a white wind breaker and pants, face covered mostly by a ski mask, stood the mysterious jogger, unmoved, unafraid, unconcerned, it seemed, with how Sebastian might react or what he might do. Even from this distance, their eyes locked, and even though Sebastian couldn't see anything more of the man but the color of his skin and his eyes, he could tell when the eyelids narrowed, small line crinkling at the corners, that he was smiling at him, mocking him.

Sebastian felt a pull, a tugging deep inside that came from the animal part of his brain - the part that thought only to protect his Kurt.

The part that wanted to run this guy down and tear him apart.

"Justice!" Sebastian called to the man behind the house. The thin figure stared for only a moment longer, then took off down the street. The sight of the thin man racing down the sidewalk startled Sebastian. The creep shot off like a bullet, no longer shuffling, but running at full tilt. Sebastian ran out after him just as Justice rounded the house.

"Bastian! Wait!" Justice called after him, but Sebastian's feet had already started moving, his green eyes targeting this man's back like laser sights. Sebastian didn't see parked cars or trash cans or any other obstacle in his wake. A red haze had formed over his vision. Nothing else in the world existed except for this man.

The man tossed a look over his shoulder at Sebastian, eyes still mocking, smiling behind the ski mask that protected his identity.

Sebastian barely registered the sound of Justice's footsteps running in time with his own, closing the distance as he followed in pursuit.

Sebastian knew this neighborhood well - a street that ended in a cul-de-sac and comprised of mostly family houses. Sebastian knew that if there was one thing suburban families loved to keep their children safe, it was walls. Walls that kept the real world out while their fairy tale lives stayed tucked safely inside.

Sebastian was raised within walls like those, and one just like it lay on the next street ahead. He was herding the man, heading straight for it. He would corner him and finally discover who the hell he was and why he seemed to be so interested in Kurt.

If he liked the answer, he might not beat him into a coma.

Everything played out the way Sebastian planned. With nowhere left to go except back, the man turned down the alley way, and came face to face with the wall. Sebastian expected the man to slow down and stop, confront him, plead his case. 

With a strange, high-pitched chuckle, like the cackling of a witch, the man leapt onto the wall, catching a handhold half way up, and in one slick move, like the pouncing of a cat, he vaulted over the wall, landing in some trash cans on the opposite side.

Sebastian heard him when he landed, heard him when his feet never stopped as he raced away. The wall was too sheer and too high for Sebastian to climb and peer over. Justice caught up with Sebastian, standing beside him with a matching incredulous look.

Too many questions for Sebastian to comprehend spun around his head, and he babbled incessantly, hoping Justice would help him put the pieces together.

"I don't get it," Sebastian murmured, looking down at the ground like it would give him answers.

"What don't you get, Bastian?" Justice asked, his eyes following Sebastian's as he started to walk the way they came.

"The man after Kurt," Sebastian tried to explain, "the one who hurt him, who..." Sebastian didn't want to say the word, but he knew Justice already knew, "...the one who abused him. I found a picture."

"You did?" Justice asked, eyes alight with hope.

"Yeah," Sebastian confirmed, brow knit as he scanned the ground,"at least, I'm pretty sure it's the guy. But the face was scratched out."

Justice's face fell, cursing silently beneath his breath.

"But, I could see his body," Sebastian continued as they walked,"how tall he was next to Kurt. The man is huge. Twice your size, Justice."

Sebastian looked up into Justice's eyes.

"That man we were chasing...can't be him."

Sebastian's footsteps came to a halt, realization freezing him to the spot.

"He knew where he was going," Sebastian panted, looking at Justice with sudden heart-stopping shock. "He wanted us to chase him."

"Do you think..." Justice started. Sebastian nodded.

"There's two of them." Sebastian pointed in the direction of the wall. "That guy, he's just a distraction."

Justice's eyes went wide. A single word didn't need to be spoken. They turned in unison and ran back for the house.


	18. Chapter 16

Three years in a row, Sebastian had been captain of the Dalton Academy Lacrosse Team. He ran track and field in college. Years of dedication to athletics had given Sebastian incredible focus and strength. Once his legs started moving, few people could catch him. The year before his father kicked him out of his life, Sebastian had run in the New York City Marathon. He had finished in a fairly respectable amount of time. Right now, trying to make his way back to Kurt's house, realizing his stupid, possibly fatal mistake, Sebastian couldn't remember running so hard and so fast in his entire life. The creepy jogger hadn't actually led him and Justice all that far away from the house, but Sebastian feared that he couldn't move quick enough to get back in time.

Sebastian normally made it a point not to acknowledge the possible presence of an all-powerful God, but in desperation, prayed the entire way.

 _'Oh dear God,'_ he called over and over in his head, _'if you're there, please take care of Kurt. Please keep him safe. Please don't let him suffer because I’m a short-sighted ass.'_

Five blocks stretched out like a thousand miles, with the house a dot in the distance that seemed to get farther and farther away the more he ran. Sebastian hit every obstacle he'd managed to avoid on the chase, and every time he stopped short or leapt over a retaining wall and missed took away precious minutes he didn't have.

“Fuck!” Sebastian bellowed in frustration as he tripped and fell over a plastic recycling bin, sending empty soda bottles rolling away into the street.

Justice watched Sebastian trip and stumble several times before he took the lead, cutting through several front yards, finally running the rest of the way in the street.

Sebastian tasted blood in his mouth. His lungs screamed, burning every time he took in a breath. They threw open the iron gate and flew down the short walkway. He almost couldn't stop himself in time to keep from slamming full force into the front door.

Sebastian pulled the keys from his pocket, tearing off a belt loop as he yanked them free. He fumbled the fob and dropped it in the tomato plants. It disappeared, not a single plant disturbed to give them a clue as to where the fob landed. Sebastian threw his hands up in frustration.

"Justice!" Sebastian cried.

Justice dropped to his knees and maneuvered his hands among the stalks, feeling for the keys.

A high-pitched screech from one of the rooms upstairs had both men pause, faces turning toward the shrouded windows.

Another screech followed the first one.

"Madeline!"

Justice almost yanked the dahlias out by the roots to find the keys. He pulled the ring of keys up out of the dirt and pressed the red button, disengaging the alarm, before passing the keys to Sebastian. Sebastian forced himself to calm down, forced his hands to stop shaking, as he tried to find the correct key to fit the lock. He saw himself as if from outside his body, slipping the key in the key hole, and then turning it. The key slid in, the tumblers moved, and the door lurched open, creaking on its hinges.

Both men rushed through the door, Justice shutting it behind him and quickly resetting the security system. They stood quietly, scanning the dimly lit lower rooms, listening hard for any sound.

Only the silent house greeted them. The dark had never felt so sinister to Sebastian before. This house, Kurt's safe haven, looked more like a prison to Sebastian than it ever had.

A noise - a pained and muffled groan - came from upstairs, followed by a soft thud.

Sebastian took the steps two at a time as he flew up the stairs. He raced around the corner, down the small hallway. The door to the bedroom stood slightly ajar, a soft blue glow from within calling to him. He skidded across the wood floor and burst into the room, swallowing hard as he prepared himself for what he felt sure he would find - the faceless beast from to photograph mercilessly torturing his Kurt.

Both Kurt and Madeline jumped from their places on the king-sized bed, fluffy white kernels of popped corn flying everywhere. Justice slammed into Sebastian from behind, forcing the taller man into the room. Sebastian's eyes, panicked and wide, bounced around, trying to make sense of the scene.

Kurt, dressed in a black t-shirt that clung to his torso, sat beside Madeline on the bed, a now half-full bowl of popcorn nestled haphazardly between them, kernels scattered all around, and the volume of the TV on low. Sebastian turned confused eyes to the screen, seeing it filled with the image of Tyra Banks's face as she dismissed a contestant on an episode of _America's Next Top Model_.

"Oh my God! Sebastian!" Kurt climbed off the bed, approaching his boyfriend cautiously. "What in the world happened?"

Sebastian couldn't seem to make the image of Kurt standing in front of him now, brow knit in worried confusion as he reached out for him, replace the image that had driven him to race up the stairs  - an image of Kurt, pinned to the bed, possibly being burned, most likely being raped. As Sebastian blinked, that horrible image dissolved away. He wanted to cry with relief.

Sebastian stood stunned, unable to move, unable to speak. Kurt slowly wrapped Sebastian in his embrace. When Kurt's warm skin came in contact with Sebastian's shivering body, Sebastian threw his arms around him. He held Kurt tight in his arms, hiding his head in the crook of Kurt's neck, breathing him in, thankful to see Kurt safe.

"What happened?" Madeline asked, climbing off the bed herself and walking over to her boyfriend, fitting herself beneath the shelter of his arm.

"That jogger was out there again," Justice explained. "He was watching the house and..."

Justice's words drifted away as Sebastian fought to school the beating of his racing heart, trying to get it to match the rhythm of Kurt's. Kurt's warm breath on Sebastian's neck became the anchor that kept him sane, told him this wasn't all just some dream, that instead of standing in Kurt's arms, he was still running toward the house and some gruesome, inevitable outcome.

"Sebastian and I took off after him," he could hear Justice say, "but he got away." Justice didn't say a word about the picture Sebastian confessed to having, or their theory that two men were involved in whatever was going on.

He needed to talk to Kurt about it in private, and soon.

"Wh-what woke you up?" Sebastian asked against Kurt's neck, not wanting to move or leave the comfort of his arms for even one moment.

"I felt the bed move," Kurt said. "I thought it was you. I opened my eyes and Madeline was sitting on the bed in the dark, staring at me." Kurt smirked. "She scared the shit out of me."

Sebastian sighed. That must have been the yelling they heard. Sebastian had thought the worst, and in his mind, the worst included whips and cigars. He balled his hands into fists, pressing them against Kurt's back as he held on. He heard Kurt yelp, unaware that he was pressing his knuckles into his skin, but Kurt didn't move. He held Sebastian tighter.

"Yeah, I left to make some popcorn, and when I came back he was waking up." Madeline's bemused expression traveled between Sebastian and Justice. Justice only squeezed her tighter, shaking his head, a silent request not to ask any questions.

"What was that..." Sebastian stumbled over his words, his voice thick.

"We heard something fall," Justice filled in.

"Oh," Kurt said sheepishly, "I...well, I didn't quite agree with Tyra's selection for this week, so I threw a pillow at her."

Sebastian chuckled, a wry sound that squeezed at Kurt's heart.

"Uh, I'm not cool with creepy stalker guy watching the house," Madeline said. "Do you think it would be alright if Just and I moved up here with you guys?"

Kurt had never heard Madeline sound timid, or scared. He nodded, looking into Justice's shining brown eyes, searching for an explanation as to why his boyfriend was clutching him like the world was about to end.

The four decided to camp out together on Kurt's bed. Justice sat with Madeline between his legs while Sebastian climbed beneath the covers and lay beside Kurt. Sebastian held Kurt tight, so tight he was afraid he might actually crush Kurt, but Kurt didn't complain. He let Sebastian hold him until he fell asleep; a thankfully dreamless sleep.

 

* * *

Nobody slept all that well. Basically they all managed a state of unconsciousness that included the closing and opening of eyes with no memory of anything in between. In the morning, Justice and Madeline went home for a few hours to grab a change of clothes and do some food shopping for Kurt. Kurt had woken early, in the mood to make crepes. Nutella crepes were his foolproof go-to comfort food, but somehow he had gone through eighteen eggs in three days. He smiled, realizing the reason why. He had made Sebastian breakfast every day. Kurt went through a lot of eggs. Now, Sebastian would be living with him. The thought still sent tingles through him, vibrating his body. He wondered if that feeling would ever stop.

Kurt walked his two guests to the door while Sebastian made some coffee. Sebastian loved Kurt’s coffee maker. Sebastian’s Mr. Coffee, a sad looking $12.99 WalMart special, worked one time, and then spent the rest of its coffee making career sputtering hot water and scalding vapor at him. Kurt’s coffee machine looked like a work of art.

Kurt walked back into the house with two newspapers under his arm.

"They were thinking about going to the farmer's market after breakfast, and then the movies later," Kurt said, sitting down at the table. "Does that sound good to you?"

"Will you be there?" Sebastian brought Kurt his coffee and kissed him on the top of the head before sitting in the seat opposite him. Kurt looked bewildered.

"Of course."

"Then I'm in." Sebastian winked, clicking his tongue. Kurt giggled, turning back to the paper he had opened up on the table in front of him. Sebastian peered over the top, noticing it was a paper he hadn't seen before. He lifted the edge to look at the front page.

"I didn't know you got a subscription to the _New York Times_ ," Sebastian said.

"I didn't," Kurt said, turning the pages. "It must be some promotional thing. They did that with the _L. A. Times_ for a while, which is asinine considering how far we are from L. A."

Sebastian shrugged.

"We're just as far from New York," he offered.

"Yes," Kurt replied, "but New York has class and sophistication."

Sebastian chuckled.

"Snob," he teased, and Kurt stuck his tongue out petulantly at him.

Sebastian smiled slyly, thinking of how they had the house to themselves for the moment, and all of the things he could do with that beautiful tongue.

Kurt turned the paper over to the back page and smirked.

"Aha," he said, lifting the paper so Sebastian could see a red circle made with Sharpie over the subscription office info on the back. "They give you the paper for free, and make sure you know who to call to order." Kurt looked at the circle more closely and frowned. "This might have been their thousandth paper, though. The circle's a little off."

Kurt flipped the pages, scanning the newspaper with a smile. He missed New York. It seemed like forever since he'd lived there. He had to go back. Maybe Sebastian would agree to accompany him. They do the touristy thing and see the sights. Kurt could show him all the places he used to hang out when he lived there.

Kurt always imagined it would be the height of romance to be proposed to in Central Park.

Kurt sighed unconsciously, scanning a full page ad.

Kurt squinted at a strange red dot in the center of the page. He ran his finger over it experimentally. He turned to the next page. More little red dots seem to bloom. Sebastian saw Kurt's brow furrow as he glanced up at him from over his coffee cup. Kurt stopped reading, following the little red dots from page to page.

"Ugh!" Kurt said. "The Sharpie bled through."

Sebastian watched Kurt inquisitively as he flipped through the pages.

The red ring of dots became darker as they continued through the paper towards the last page. Kurt looked at all the articles the red marker defaced, tsk-ing and shaking his head. Then his face fell. He went pale so quickly, Sebastian thought Kurt might faint. He got up from his chair and circled back behind. Looking over Kurt's shoulder, he saw that the red marker dots had almost perfectly circled an obituary. A familiar face smiled back at them.

"Adam," Kurt whispered, running his finger over the picture. He turned to Sebastian. "That's Adam. Adam Crawford. The guy I told you about. The one who kicked me out of 'Adam's Apples'."

Sebastian lifted the page to read the obituary.

"I know this guy," Sebastian admitted, squinting at the image of the blond man with the smiling face. "I met him at the bar that night I saw you. He had a British accent."

Sebastian decided to leave out the part where he offered to fuck him in the bathroom.

"That's him." Kurt looked shaken. "But, what was he doing out here?"

Sebastian sighed as he handed Kurt back the paper.

"Does it say how he died?" Kurt looked back at the obituary.

"No," Sebastian said softly.

Kurt folded the paper and set it aside, staring at the table top with empty eyes.

"Kurt?" Sebastian knelt in front of him and put a hand on his knee. "Kurt, are you okay?"

Kurt didn't look at him. He didn't answer him for a long time. Sebastian could see Kurt's eyes shining with tears. A thousand emotions played out on Kurt's pale face - sadness, confusion, regret...

"Kurt?"

Kurt's eyes shifted, as if he was seeing something other than the Formica table top. Kurt turned his head, scanning the room with gray eyes, and only then did he seem to notice Sebastian kneeling at his feet.

"What? No...no. I'll be fine." Kurt shook his head slowly, but he didn't look like he had fully returned from wherever his mind had disappeared off to.

"Are you sure?"

Kurt blinked his thoughts away, clearing his head. He forced a smile.

"I'm sure." Kurt waved a hand, pushing the subject aside. "It...It was just a shock... seeing that. That's all."

They continued drinking their coffee in silence. Kurt didn't completely recover after reading the obituary in the paper. He didn't open the other paper. He didn't finish reading the first one. Sebastian watched Kurt take the folded paper and carry it upstairs. Sebastian didn't follow. He knew that Kurt needed a moment to process this information more fully. Sebastian heard one of the doors upstairs unlock, and knew that Adam had found a place with the rest of Kurt's ghosts.

Sebastian sighed. He wanted to help Kurt get through this, but he still kept so many secrets. Sebastian couldn't shake the feeling that there was something about Kurt’s relationship with Adam that Kurt wasn't telling him. He hoped that when Madeline returned, she would be able to snap Kurt out of his funk.

 

* * *

Justice and Madeline returned with several bags of groceries, and overly bright, somewhat sheepish smiles. Sebastian raised an eyebrow at Justice, who simply shrugged in response. Sebastian bit his lip and shook his head when Justice blushed. His expression reminded Sebastian of what he and Kurt were doing before that emaciated asshole disturbed their new found peace.

Sebastian watched Kurt as he moved around the kitchen, smiling and humming as he mixed crepe batter and teased Madeline about the obvious hickey she had done a hideous job of trying to hide. Kurt gave all the outward appearances of being completely fine, looking like he hadn't been shaking like a scared child just an hour before, but Sebastian could tell that something about Kurt wasn't quite right. He noticed as Kurt fidgeted uncharacteristically with the spatula while he waited to flip the crepes; how his eyes darted left and right, almost imperceptibly, when a car passed by outside, or when someone knocked on one of the neighbors' doors. Kurt tapped his toe of his foot in a rather bizarre pattern, and licked his lips nervously.

Kurt startled expectantly nearly every five minutes, his eyes bouncing from the front door to the back door, almost as if he were expecting someone to burst through any minute.

Sebastian wondered if this was how Kurt behaved, living with the monster that abused him. Was this how he hid the pain from his family and friends, with this admirable ability to plaster a smile on his face, even if inside he was screaming? How he deflected attention from himself to focus on everyone else around him? People around him would see him as being generous with compliments, when in reality he was terrified of someone discovering his secret.

Sebastian didn't let on that he saw any of this. He smiled back at Kurt, held his hand, rubbed the nape of his neck, anything to make him feel loved and safe. Whenever he could steal a moment, he would look deep into Kurt's eyes, letting him know that he wasn't alone, that there was no way Sebastian would let Kurt face danger by himself. Any faceless menace that tried to get to Kurt would have to go through Sebastian first, no matter what that meant.

The morning blossomed into a beautiful spring afternoon. The clear sky stretched out endlessly above them as they walked, the sun warming their skin, the cool breeze just enough to make light jackets and sweaters necessary. It was Sebastian’s favorite kind of day; the type he breathed in deeply and held onto with both hands, living every moment to its fullest. Kurt, trapped in the fog of his own thoughts, didn't seem to notice. He talked and laughed along with them, but his eyes stared open and empty, fixed on some point always just beyond the others' reach - over Sebastian's shoulder or past Madeline's head. As the day wore on, and Kurt became more and more on edge, Sebastian began to worry. Justice and Madeline, originally sure that Kurt was just a bit over tired, began to catch on.

They decided to catch an afternoon showing of a rom-com that Kurt had mentioned wanting to see, in the hopes of lifting his spirits. Sebastian refused to leave Kurt’s side, keeping a hand on his boyfriend at all times. When they entered the darkened theater, Kurt's eyes swept over the seats, seeking out and trying to identify the few other people in the room. Sebastian felt Kurt stiffen, squeezing his hand until his body shook.

"It's okay," Sebastian cooed in Kurt's ear, putting his hands on Kurt's shoulders and massaging gently. "It's alright. No one here's going to hurt you, gorgeous."

Kurt's head snapped to face Sebastian, eyes wide with panic. Justice motioned to the back of the theater where the entire row of seats were unoccupied.

Sebastian led Kurt through the seats to the center of the row. Madeline and Justice occupied the seats closer to the end. With the other end of the row blocked by a wall, the four of them managed to monopolize the whole row.

The movie dragged for Sebastian. It wasn't the kind of thing he would ever go see on his own. His mind wasn't on the movie, anyway. All he could think of was Kurt, sitting next to him, staring at the screen, unblinking, unmoving. Kurt wouldn't relax. He sat rim rod straight in his seat, watching the people in the theater more than the people on the screen.

Sebastian ventured a glance over at Justice and Madeline. Justice had his muscular arm draped over his petite girlfriend, keeping her locked against him as he kissed her gently. Sebastian tried not to stare, but he couldn’t help watching Justice as he traced soft shapes over Madeline’s collar bone with his fingertips, his free hand rubbing slowly up the length of her leg, just barely brushing her sex with his fingers before his hand made the return trip to her knee. She trembled slightly with every pass.

It was the expression on Justice’s face – his knit brow, his peculiar frown as he brushed his lips against hers, the very faint trace of a single tear stain on his cheek – that drew Sebastian to stare. A strange pang hit Sebastian in the chest; a shard of icy cold that pierced his blood and spread over his body.

Justice – strong, infallible, indestructible Justice – had been scared. It wasn’t just Kurt’s life on the line this morning. He hadn’t been the only one in danger. Madeline was locked in the house with him. If anything had happened to Kurt, Sebastian would have been destroyed.

Justice felt the same way about Madeline.

Only then did Sebastian realize the gravity of their friendship with this unlikely couple. He would have to think of some way to repay them for everything they had done.

Sebastian turned back to Kurt, putting his arm around his shoulder, his heart breaking in two when Kurt flinched. Sebastian leaned into Kurt, pressing his lips chastely against his skin, kissing a path up Kurt's neck.

"Kurt," Sebastian whispered. "It's me...I'm here with you, gorgeous. Please, come back to me..."

Sebastian saw Kurt's cheek twitch. He wondered if Kurt even heard him. Where was he right now? What was happening to him?

Sebastian continued kissing up Kurt's jaw, journeying along to Kurt’s ear.

Kurt looked petrified. He didn’t move to look at Sebastian, didn’t acknowledge his sweet touches.

He looked like he wanted to run.

“Kurt…please… I want to help you.”

Nothing.

“I love you, gorgeous. Please…”

Sebastian dropped his head to Kurt’s shoulder. He finally responded, whimpering pitifully. His jaw clenched. His eyes darted from left to right, and then back to the screen.

Sebastian ran his fingers from Kurt’s knee to his thigh, slowly, raking his nails over Kurt’s jeans, back and forth, over and over.

Sebastian wanted Kurt to melt, wanted to break down these sheer walls that seemed to always find a way of rebuilding themselves.

"We're going to face this thing together," Sebastian whispered, licking up Kurt's neck slowly.

Sebastian looked over Kurt’s body, watching his muscles start to slacken, his back bow just a bit. Sebastian bit his lip and moved his hand over the half-hard bulge in Kurt’s jeans. His hand gently palmed Kurt's cock.

Kurt whimpered again, this time a little less pained and a little more like pleasure, his eyelids fluttering closed.

"I promise you, Kurt. I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

Kurt finally relaxed, sitting further back in his seat, opening his legs just a little to give Sebastian better access. Sebastian heard Kurt moan quietly, raising his hips a bit to chase the warmth of Sebastian’s palm. He smiled.

“There you are, gorgeous,” Sebastian said, returning to the task of kissing over Kurt’s delicate lips. “I was afraid you might be gone for good.”

Kurt shook his head.

“Not when I have you to lead me out of the dark,” Kurt whispered.

Sebastian kissed Kurt gently, explored his mouth deeply, moving over him to shield him from view as he continued to move his hand in soft circles over Kurt’s growing erection. Sebastian could feel Kurt tremble, just a slight quiver of his body when Sebastian touched him. Kurt couldn’t stop kissing Sebastian as he touched him, didn’t want to be far from him, and even an inch away seemed too far. Kurt wrapped his arms around Sebastian, keeping their bodies locked together as best he could with the arm rest between them. Sebastian was tempted to just kneel on the theater floor, but he didn’t want to draw attention to what they were doing. Sebastian swallowed Kurt’s moans as he felt him getting close. When Kurt’s hips began to stutter and he knew Kurt was about to cum, he deftly undid the zipper of Kurt’s jeans, freeing his throbbing cock, and took him quickly down his throat, swallowing around him when he came. Kurt’s eyes went wide, his gaze sweeping the theater, trying to see if anyone noticed the amazingly sexy man with his cock down his throat.

Sebastian swallowed Kurt dry, licking his lips with a devilish smirk after he pulled off and zippered Kurt’s jeans back up.

“Sebastian!” Kurt hissed, “Why…”

“Do you know how uncomfortable it would have been, sitting through the rest of the movie with cum in your pants?” Sebastian asked, cutting Kurt off. “As it is, you aren’t wearing any underwear…”

Kurt blushed deep crimson as he looked around, trying to see if anyone overheard.

“There’s no way you’d be able to concentrate on the rest of the movie after that.” Sebastian winked.

“I have no idea what the fuck’s going on anyway,” Kurt huffed, trying to sound annoyed and failing.

“Oh,” Sebastian said, turning back to the screen. “That’s easy. That girl there is in love with that guy there…” Sebastian explained, pointing back and forth between characters on the screen. “But, he’s in love with that guy in the corner. The one eating the apple and petting the cat?”

Kurt snickered, snorting through his nose in a way Sebastian found adorable.

“That can’t be true,” Kurt said.

“No, but it would make this shit fest a hell of a lot more interesting if it was.” Sebastian stretched his legs, then stood, bending his knees, sore from running earlier. “I’m going to go get some popcorn,” he said, stretching his arms over his head. He leaned over Kurt’s seat and kissed him on the mouth. “I was going to get some candy,” he whispered, “but you’re sweet enough for me.” Sebastian bit Kurt’s lip gently, before heading down the aisle, passing Justice and Madeline who looked down the aisle at Kurt with knowing smiles before returning back to each other’s lips.

 

* * *

 

Sebastian didn’t want to impose on Justice . He didn’t want to put the one thing Justice loved more than his own life in danger again. He told Justice he would understand if he and Madeline didn’t want to spend the night.

Justice looked at Sebastian like he’d just grown a third head, and without a single word spoken, the issue was settled.

They were going to spend another night.

 

* * *

 

Kurt and Sebastian showered together after dinner. Sebastian started the water, making it hot enough to sting, to burn away the stress from his body. The day weighed heavy on him, and as the water beat down on his skin, over his shoulders, onto his face, it all came to a head, and he sobbed into the spray, biting his lip to keep from making any sound. The tears had entirely washed away when Kurt stepped into the shower. Sebastian turned and trapped Kurt against the tile, claiming his mouth with his own desperate, urgent kisses. Sebastian dominated Kurt, not looking to have sex so much as to just feel connected to him. Sebastian’s hands touched every inch of skin he could reach without having to leave the perfect heat of Kurt’s mouth.

Kurt, overwhelmed by Sebastian’s touch, surrendered to the glorious feeling of his hands sliding over his wet skin, controlling his body. Kisses on his neck turned into sucks that caused marks to form. Hands that started massaging Kurt’s back, moved to palm gently over Kurt’s ass. A single, torturous finger circled his entrance, dipping in with shallow thrusts. Before Kurt even had time to miss Sebastian’s lips on his mouth, he felt incredible warmth - soft and wet - on his aching cock, quickly and effortlessly coaxing him to orgasm.

“Oh, God! Sebastian!” Kurt cried, his fingers gripping at the wet tile, his head tossing from side to side.

Sebastian stood, engulfing his dazed boyfriend in his embrace, kissing him over and over until Kurt melted against him, breathless, reeling from the taste of himself on his boyfriend’s tongue.

“Are you sure this is safe?” Kurt panted when Sebastian moved his mouth back to Kurt’s neck. “This is how that all started.”

“Kurt,” Sebastian mumbled against his wet skin, “I will make you cum over and over all night long if that’s what you want.”

Kurt bit his lip, smiling, forcing down a giggle at how amazing that sounded. He had no doubt that Sebastian could make good on that promise, either.

Then, acting as if the thought had only just occurred to him even though he was more than prepared, he carefully turned Kurt toward the wall, kissing over his shoulders and up his neck as he slipped on a condom and pressed gently against Kurt’s entrance.

“Sebastian!” Kurt squealed.

“Tell me you want me,” Sebastian whispered as he slowly entered Kurt.

“Wh-what?” Kurt turned his head to look at his boyfriend, but Sebastian caught Kurt’s lips with his, trapping them with kiss after kiss.

“Tell me you want me,” Sebastian repeated.

Kurt’s eyelids fluttered as Sebastian moved.

“I want you, Sebastian,” Kurt said, his voice low and wanton.

“Tell me you love me.” Sebastian’s voice broke a little. Kurt’s heart melted.

“I love you, Sebastian.”

Kurt’s soft voice was a balm over the jagged wounds that seemed to form finger-like cracks in Sebastian’s torn psyche.

Sebastian moved fully inside Kurt, wrapping his arms around his torso as he moved, keeping them pressed together as Kurt braced himself against the cool tile wall.

Sebastian wanted to bare his soul, to tell Kurt about all his fears, how his world would have ended if anything had happened to Kurt, how he would never have forgiven himself…how his life would have been over.

He couldn’t confess all those things. He didn’t want to scare Kurt. He needed to be strong. He needed to make Kurt feel protected.

Weakness, for Sebastian, was not an option.

Kurt moaned, content to be locked safely in Sebastian’s arms. He couldn’t help but feel that Sebastian was holding back, keeping something important from him, but he didn’t want to tarnish this intimate moment by asking.

“So beautiful,” Sebastian muttered against Kurt’s skin, his eyes squeezed shut, head resting on Kurt’s shoulder. “So amazing. I love you Kurt…I love you so much…”

Kurt allowed Sebastian to take him, knowing that Sebastian had given him pleasure without receiving any in return. Kurt never imagined he would come again, harder this time, folding almost in half with the intensity of Sebastian’s muscular body pressing against him, his cock sliding in him perfectly over and over again. He felt Sebastian’s hips shudder against his, felt Sebastian cover his shoulders in urgent, open-mouthed kisses, heard him make a sound low in his throat that was both exquisitely animal and completely male.

Sebastian groaned when he withdrew from Kurt’s beautiful body, tying off the condom and tossing it out of the shower and into the trash. He held Kurt as he washed him, pampering him carefully the way Kurt often did for him, memorizing this moment of sanctity and peace to replay during those times when the stress got too much to bear.

Sebastian melted into Kurt’s bed, becoming one with the Egyptian cotton sheets and the goose down comforter, sighing as his head hit the cool pillow, which smelled overwhelmingly like his beloved Kurt. He heard his phone buzz. He reached a tired hand beneath his pillow and pulled it out to look at the message on the screen.

_From: Richard_

_Sent you something in the mail. It should be at your boyfriend’s house in a few days. Let me know when you get it. Don’t say no._

Sebastian read the message several times, confused by the vague wording, but smiled at the thought of having this relationship with his brother. Kurt padded in, looking dazed but satisfied, wearing those sinful green satin pants, the sated expression on Kurt’s face bringing a smirk to Sebastian’s face.

Sebastian loved how cocky he felt around Kurt, how self-assured. Every time Kurt slipped into his arms, he knew he could have him without reservation, kiss him, touch him, make love to him, and every whimper from Kurt’s lips made Sebastian feel more and more like a man.

He needed that, more than ever.

He needed it now.

Sebastian kissed Kurt’s neck, holding him and rocking him gently.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay tomorrow?" Sebastian asked, whispering against Kurt's neck as he kissed him gently. "Do you want me to call in sick?"

Kurt thought about that idea for a second. In reality, he wanted Sebastian to quit, stay home all day, every day with him. Sebastian could take pictures while Kurt worked in the garden, tending his tomatoes. Time could roll along slowly around them, wrapping them up in their own dreams of being together. They could make love in the afternoon with the sunlight streaming in through the window, bathing their skin, uncovered, unafraid.

Kurt shook the thought away, not knowing if that would even be appealing to Sebastian, but also knowing he was being childish and clingy, and didn't want to suffocate the good thing he had with Sebastian over his stupid insecurities.

"I'll be fine," Kurt reassured him. "I just had...a bad day. I'm sorry if I ruined everybody's Sunday."

"Kurt," Sebastian gazed into Kurt’s blue eyes, "even a bad day with you is a good day."

Kurt ducked his head, resting his ear against Sebastian's chest to hear his heart beating. Sometimes he had to do it just to remind himself that Sebastian really existed, flesh and blood, and all his.


	19. Chapter 17

**A/N:** _Please excuse Sebastian's language ;)_

Madeline smiled in her sleep, warm and content, wrapped up in the peace that came with sleeping in Justice's strong arms. Her head of untamed, fire-engine red curls spilled over his bare chest, covering numerous Maori inspired tribal tattoos. The one she lay her head over was a souvenir from the first vacation they took together to the coast of Alaska, to the small village where Justice was born and lived for the first half of his life. She liked to imagine him as he must have looked as a little boy, racing around shirtless, even in the bitter cold, wrestling with his friends, attending the one room school house in the town square with all the other grades.

That's where Madeline's sleeping mind was now, sitting in a circle with the rest of the village women, sharing potlucks and sewing furs for the upcoming winter. She swore that's where they belonged. That's where they would get married and start their family.

If Justice didn't propose by the time he earned his fifteenth title, then she would for sure.

In her dream, she looked over her shoulder at the analog clock on the wall, its circular face displaying the time as wobbly hands traveled around it, mercilessly ticking off the amount of time she had left. She sighed with needle and thread in hand. An older woman, nearly blind, her arthritic fingers curled over her sewing, tapped Madeline on the shoulder. Madeline turned to her and smiled, returning to the conversation at hand about limitations on whale hunting, and the coming early frost.

Madeline was not a morning person. Even though she was technically an 'on call' driver, and could be asked to pick up clients at any time during her assigned work days, her supervisor usually knew better than to call her before eight…and even that was pushing it. Except in the case of Kurt Hummel. She never really understood why – he must be an exceptional employee at whatever it was he did – but they gave him quite a hefty allowance to put toward the use of a town car. In all the years since he had moved into his little town house, Madeline had only been called to pick him up a handful of times. She knew him through Justice, and that was pretty much her only association with the extremely private man.

Until recently, she wouldn't even go so far as to say they were acquaintances, but here she was, sleeping on an inflatable air mattress in his living room. She considered it a strange turn of events, to say the least. To think of all the threesomes she daydreamed about having with Justice and Kurt. She felt a little guilty about that…but not much.

Justice caught the alarm before it went off, with barely seconds left on the clock to spare. He slid himself carefully from beneath his girlfriend's all too tempting body, and smiled at the expression of peace on her angelic face. He knew where she was in her dreams - in her tiny sewing circle with the elders of the village of his birth. He knew she had fallen in love with his home the moment she set eyes on it. When they stepped out of the bush plane and walked out onto the icy land, he knew she had found a new home. He was going to marry her, he thought with a smile. He had bought her a ring on that first trip, and kept it with him ever since. He just needed to find the right time.

Justice found Kurt and Sebastian sitting in the kitchen, drinking coffee and eating pancakes. He watched them, so comfortable with each other, like an old married couple, but still blissfully in love. Kurt's eyes fought to stay open, but he would look over his newspaper from time to time to watch Sebastian enjoy his breakfast, Kurt's lip trapped between his teeth as he smiled, feet tapping lightly beneath the table. Sebastian stole glances at Kurt as well, but his were often accompanied by a sly, devious-looking grin. Justice laughed quietly. He knew exactly what Sebastian had in mind. If the noises that came from their room at night were any indication, Justice was amazed that either of them got any sleep.

Or that either man could walk straight, for the matter.

Justice felt bad for interrupting such a cozy and intimate moment, but the moment Kurt saw him, he smiled brightly and waved the man over, fixing a plate for him from the platter of food warming on the stove top.

Justice took Sebastian to work in the town car. It wasn't even a question. Sebastian offered to take the bus, but Sebastian wasn't immune to the stalker's attentions. The first time the attacker only pelted him with pebbles. Who knew what the sick bastard had in mind, or how far he would amp things up? Justice wanted this man, whoever it was, to know that Kurt and Sebastian were not alone.

Sebastian looked out the car window, watching Kurt's silhouette in the bedroom window gazing down at them as they drove away. The ride was quiet, both men occupied with their own troubling thoughts. Justice knew the trip would be quick, and he needed to broach an uncomfortable subject while they were alone, before it was too late.

"Hey, Bastian," Justice began, giving Sebastian a side-long glance, "have you ever given any thought to getting a gun?"

Sebastian's head turned quickly to look at his burly friend.

"Like, a hand gun?" Sebastian asked.

"Yeah, you know, for personal protection…to keep around the house?"

"Yeah," Sebastian admitted. "I've thought about it. I just don't know how cool Kurt would be with having a gun in the house. I don't know if his ex…"

Every time Sebastian tried to voice his thoughts about Kurt's abusive ex, he found himself falling short, getting choked up. Justice kept his eyes on the dark road, waiting patiently for Sebastian to continue.

"I don't know if he had a gun in the house, and, you know, threatened Kurt with it…or something. I don't want him to shut down on me, knowing that I have one." Sebastian breathed in deeply, letting the brisk, morning air fill his lungs. "I was originally thinking about a taser…"

Justice nodded.

"I looked up a couple online. Taser has a home protection model. Shoots up to 15 feet."

"Yeah, that's a good option," Justice agreed, "but what about when you go to work in the morning? Those tasers are pretty bulky. You need to weigh all your options."

"I know." Sebastian ran a hand through his hair. "It's a lot to think about, and to tell you the truth, I don't know where to start."

"Let's start with this," Justice said, turning down the street that led to Fed-Ex, "we're all going dancing tomorrow night? Let me loan you my old service weapon. It's a Glock. Gen 4. I'll write you a bill of sale for it, just to be on the safe side. We'll arrange getting you a license to carry it. In the meantime, just don't let anyone know you have it, ok? You can talk about it with Kurt when you think he's ready."

Justice pulled up to Sebastian's Fed-Ex truck, and cut the engine. Sebastian reached for the door handle, ready to leave. He stopped, his thoughts wandering to their double-date to the movies, and the look on Justice's face when he kissed his girlfriend.

"You know, Justice…" Sebastian turned back to his friend, "I don't think I've thanked you for everything you guys have done for Kurt…and for me."

Justice raised an eyebrow, the edges of his mouth curling up into a small smile.

"You know, my Madeline has had the hots for your boyfriend for a long time."

Sebastian laughed. It was unconscious. The words registered in Sebastian's still tired brain, and he couldn't help himself. Justice shook his head.

"It's true." Justice's friendly voice cut through the sound of Sebastian's laughter. "Man, when she first met him, all she could talk about was how much of a bitch he was…"

Sebastian couldn't breathe. He couldn't stop laughing. He wondered if everyone who met Kurt had that same reaction.

"But, she's got a soft spot for gay men." Justice shrugged. "She felt the same way about you, too, Chuckles."

Sebastian stopped laughing, his face drawn and pale as he stared at the Herculean wrestler sitting not a foot away.

Justice chuckled, shaking his head.

"I didn't mind. I knew she wouldn't do anything. She flirts a lot, and she likes to talk, but that's about it. The point is, she didn't really have any friends…and now, she does."

Sebastian blinked in astonishment. Justice made it sound so simple. He was literally willing to put his life on the line…because they were friends. Sebastian couldn't remember feeling that way about anyone until he met Kurt, and now he had three people in his life whose lives had become as important as his own.

Justice's eyes flicked past Sebastian's shoulder.

"You better get to work, man. I think we have an audience."

Sebastian looked over his shoulder. Louis and Debbie watched them with narrow eyes and curious expressions. Sebastian groaned.

"Yeah. I'll see you later."

Sebastian climbed out of the town car, shutting the door and giving Justice a wave before hiking up to the office.

Debbie's judgmental eyes followed him.

"Stepping out on your man already?" she sneered.

Sebastian turned his head and eyed the town car pulling out of the lot.

"Never," Sebastian said nonchalantly. "The more the merrier." Sebastian winked, pushing past the two. Louis followed him with a smirk, laughing at the offended gasp that escaped Debbie's lips.

* * *

Sebastian measured time by the moments when he saw Kurt. He started the day by Kurt's side, managed a quickie with his boyfriend at two, and then got the whole evening with him after work at five. Sebastian loved the thought of coming home to Kurt after work; loved knowing that this small house, with its wrought iron fence and its perfectly manicured garden, was the place where he belonged, because the person that resided inside loved him.

He did, however, need to talk to Kurt about getting a key.

Sebastian rang the doorbell, bouncing up and down as he waited. He started humming a song that had gotten stuck in his head, groaning after the first strain.

 _'Stupid truck,'_ he thought as he pressed the doorbell again. This time the radio had gotten stuck on some lame soft rock station that seemed to recycle the same five songs over and over. One of them managed to stick around. Worst of all, he couldn't turn the radio off, so he knew getting one, if not all, of those horrendous songs stuck in his head was inevitable.

Sebastian heard a thud, a pause, and then a series of thuds. Something fell to the ground and shattered. Kurt's voice slurred.

"Aw, shit…"

Sebastian stepped back a bit, confused. He heard Kurt fumble with the locks on the door. The dead bolts slid in and out of place numerous times, several unsuccessful attempts punctuated by Kurt pulling hard on the door, and then more slurred cursing.

Finally, the door flew open, knocking Kurt backwards into the wall. He slid to the floor, landing unceremoniously on his ass. Kurt shifted on the floor, trying to climb to his feet. Sebastian walked quickly inside, shutting the door and locking it, before turning to help his boyfriend.

Sebastian saw Kurt, awkwardly sprawled on the floor, and froze.

Kurt wore the same clothes Sebastian had seen him dressed in when he delivered Kurt's packages that afternoon – a pair of indigo skinny jeans and a dark green Henley. Sebastian had smiled when he first saw it, knowing it was new. Sebastian couldn't help being flattered by the amount of green Kurt had been wearing lately. Kurt's hair stuck up in all directions, as if he had spent the last few hours trying to pull it out in clumps from his head. Kurt's beautiful transcendent eyes were a steely gray that sparkled with the remnants of constantly falling tears. His swollen face was red and splotchy. In his right hand he clutched a cream colored piece of card stock paper. Sebastian could barely see that one side was carefully decorated with pictures and covered over with a sheet of powdered vellum. A message, printed in gold calligraphy, stayed hidden from Sebastian's eyes as Kurt's hand curled around it, his fingers digging into the delicate paper.

His other hand clutched a mostly empty bottle of Cuervo Gold.

"Muthafucker…" Kurt muttered, not able to get to his feet with the bottle he held tight in his hand, but not willing to set it down either. He decided that the floor spun less while he was sitting, and leaned back against the wall, draining more of the tequila from the bottle.

"Rough day?" Sebastian asked, watching as his boyfriend got more and more drunk. In all the time they had spent together, Sebastian had never seen Kurt drink anything stronger than a Shirley Temple, and here he was swilling a bottle of tequila. Sebastian didn't even know Kurt kept alcohol in the house.

Maybe he hid it upstairs with the ghosts.

Kurt looked up, following the sound of Sebastian's voice with unfocused eyes. Kurt smiled when he finally noticed him, as if forgetting he had just opened the door to let him in.

"Hey, baby," Kurt said, waving Sebastian down and patting at the floor beside him. "Guess what UPS brought today?"

Sebastian slid down the wall to sit beside Kurt, reaching out a hand to pry the well-throttled piece of paper from Kurt's long fingers.

"We've been invited to a wedding." Kurt smiled a goofy grin that didn't reach his eyes, didn't light his face, didn't do anything but make him look ruined, broken.

Sebastian uncurled the invitation and stared down at the gold lettering. He read over the words several times to make sure he understood.

_Fearlessly and Forever_

_The pleasure of your company_

_Is cordially requested_

_To witness the union of_

_Blaine and Eli_

Sebastian swallowed hard, shoving the invitation into the pocket of his shorts. Kurt had gone quiet. He had drawn his knees up to his face, his arms folded over them, holding them tight, hand still gripping the neck of the bottle. His head buried, he sobbed quietly.

"Oh, Kurt…" Sebastian put an arm as best he could around Kurt's shoulders, wedging the limb painfully between him and the wall. "I'm so sorry. I…I don't even know what to say…"

"He said it was a one-time thing!" Kurt screeched. "But, it wasn't. They were in love! He cheated and lied to me! And now, they're getting married!"

Kurt lurched to his feet, stumbling to the staircase, tripping and falling several times on his way up the steps.

Sebastian followed him, his mind and body numb – numb for Kurt for feeling so heartbroken, numb for himself for having to watch the man of his dreams pine so hard over another man.

He couldn't watch the man he loved struggle, no matter what the reason, and as Kurt began to surrender and abandon himself to a night spent sleeping on the stairs, Sebastian lifted him up in his arms and carried Kurt's quickly slackening body to his room. Sebastian lay Kurt down gently on the bed. Kurt curled into a tight ball, hiding away again, folding in on himself in an effort to look small, to disappear. Sebastian kicked off his shoes and lay in beside him, wrapped around Kurt's body, feeling Kurt sob against him, until Kurt let go of the bottle and fell into a troubled sleep.

Sebastian covered Kurt in the comforter from the bed, still numb and slightly fractured, but even more than that, burning with rage. He looked at Kurt, wrapped around himself, whatever peace he had gained over the last few days, even while fighting with a faceless enemy, gone. Sebastian wanted to find Blaine and beat him within an inch of his life. He pulled the invitation back out of his pocket and read it again, memorizing the words, memorizing the date. He flipped up the vellum to look at the cheesy pictures printed on the card stock underneath. Just typical, staged engagement photos – the two men walking through some park, a canopy of trees sheltering them; and another picture of them sitting on a bench, probably feeding the fucking birds. The photo was kind of blurry.

Asshole _and_ cheap.

Sebastian heard a faint buzzing. He patted down his pockets, looking for his phone. He pulled it out and looked at it. No incoming call, and the ringer turned up full blast. Sebastian tried to track the buzzing down, realizing it was Kurt's phone, ringing somewhere in the room. He slipped his hand beneath the bed, groping around until he found it. He just missed the call, but looked at the alert on the screen.

Eight missed calls, all of them from Blaine.

Sebastian looked at Kurt's call log. Before the eight missed calls was one call made to Blaine, just about an hour ago, which lasted for roughly fifteen minutes.

Just enough time for Kurt to rip him a new one, Sebastian hoped.

Sebastian looked at Kurt's phone in his hand. He hated to intrude, hated to invade Kurt's privacy. On the other hand, the man he loved had just cried himself unconscious after drinking almost an entire bottle of tequila.

Oh yeah...he was calling Blaine.

He considered dialing the number from his own phone, but he wanted to make sure that Blaine picked up the call. Sebastian hit re-dial on Kurt's phone. It picked up on the first ring.

"Kurt?" a frantic voice answered. "Thank God you called back! I was so worried."

"If that's your little high school whore," a high pitched voice sneered in the background, "you can tell him to fuck off and never call again."

"Back off, Eli," the man on the phone growled before returning to the call.

"Kurt?" the voice said again.

"Uh, not Kurt," Sebastian said. "My name's Sebastian."

Silence.

"Are you...are you Kurt's boyfriend?"

The man sounded hurt.

"Yes. Yes, I am," Sebastian replied confidently.

Sebastian waited, wondering what Blaine might have to say for himself, but instead the silence only got longer and more awkward.

"So, I take it he called." Sebastian wanted to move things along, maybe start out diplomatically before he offered to tear out Blaine's spine and hand it to him, seeing as he obviously wasn't using it.

"Yeah." Blaine sighed. "He did. Uh…just how much tequila did he drink?"

Sebastian looked at the sleeping body of his boyfriend. Kurt relaxed in his sleep, stretching out onto his stomach on the bed.

"Well, I see one mostly drunk bottle," Sebastian said. "I think that might be it."

"Okay," Blaine said softly, sounding relieved. Sebastian wondered if this wasn't Kurt's first drunken dial.

"Look," Sebastian said, his anger ebbing annoyingly at the sound of genuine concern in Blaine's voice, "I don't know what's going on. All I know is I have a drunk Kurt passed out over here. In a few hours, he's going to be awake, and he most likely won't clue me in, so can you do it for me, please? Save me some trouble?"

"What do you want to know?"

"Well, first of all, why did you send him that invitation, man? That was cold."

Blaine made a frustrated noise.

"Like I tried to explain to Kurt," he said calmly, "I didn't send him anything. How can I? I don't know where he lives."

"You have his cell phone number."

"Yeah, uh…" Blaine stuttered, sounding a little guilty, "his, uh, his dad gives that to me. He's changed it three times."

_So, Kurt's dad is tight with the ex. Great._

"So, how do I know his dad didn't give you his address, too?" Sebastian went back to losing his patience with this guy, which he preferred to sympathizing with him.

"Because his dad doesn't know where he lives. Kurt won't tell him."

Sebastian sucked in a sharp breath. Kurt was protecting his dad. He couldn't imagine anything in his own life being so bad that he wouldn't tell his parents and his brother where he lived. Not until recently, at least.

"So, spill."

Sebastian ran a hand through his hair. He heard Kurt whimper. Kurt rolled onto his side away from Sebastian, putting a hand over his ear. Sebastian stepped out into the hallway, sitting on the floor just outside Kurt's door where he could watch him.

Blaine released a long breath, like he was just about to confess his deepest secret.

"Kurt graduated the year before I did," Blaine explained. "He decided to stick around for a year and wait for me. But he had such big dreams, and, I couldn't hold him back. I convinced him to leave, to go to New York. He was attending NYADA, and he got a job at Vogue, and I thought he didn't have time for me anymore."

"Yeah, it's called growing up and being responsible, dingus," Sebastian interrupted, sighing. He was suddenly exhausted. "You should have just trusted him."

"That's the thing," Blaine said. "This guy from his work started texting me, telling me that Kurt was cheating on me. He sent me pictures of Kurt with other guys…"

"What was he doing in those pictures?" Sebastian crossed his legs, leaning his head back against the wall and closing his eyes.

"Now that I know better, nothing really." Blaine sounded disgusted. "Talking, laughing, drinking, there was one where he was hugging a guy from his office. I was hurt…and jealous. I thought we were over, and he just hadn't told me yet. So, I…"

"You cheated on him." Sebastian felt heat rise up his neck.

"Yes, I cheated," Blaine said plainly, matter-of-factly, knowing he wasn't gaining any friends right now. Blaine dropped his voice, almost to a whisper. "With a guy who friended me on Facebook."

"I assume by your drop in volume that the fuck-tard in question is in the room with you?"

Blaine made a small noise of affirmation. Sebastian could hear him shifting, probably moving to another room. The sound of a door opening and closing confirmed it.

"After, I did it, I felt…"

Sebastian huffed, not particularly interested in how he felt, and Blaine knew it.

"I flew out to New York to see him, and I told him the truth. I'll never forget the look on his face…and his tears. That night, we slept next to each other, but he wouldn't look at me. He never spoke to me again."

"At least he let you sleep in the bed next to him, you lucky fuck." Sebastian ran a hand down his face. "I would have made you sleep on the floor…or the fire escape."

"Yeah," Blaine agreed. "I would have deserved it if he did."

Sebastian rolled his eyes.

"Anyway, the next day I was in the airport, checking Kurt's Facebook status to see if he changed it from 'in a relationship' to 'single', and I saw the pictures…"

"The pictures the guy sent you?"

"Yeah, only these were the _real_ versions."

Sebastian scrunched his nose.

"Real versions?"

"That fucking snitch only sent me the parts of the pictures with Kurt and other guys in them. They were cropped from larger pictures, mostly taken at office parties. I saw those, the whole thing, and I realized I'd been played."

Sebastian was angry, but again, he discovered to his great regret, he couldn't exactly hate the guy.

But he wanted to hate him. Oh, God, did he want to hate him.

"Do you remember who sent you the pictures?"

"Like I said, some guy from his office…uh…Chester? Charlie?"

Sebastian searched his head for a name. Something about this sounded familiar.

"Chandler?" Sebastian asked.

"Yeah, that's it," Blaine said. "Chandler."

Sebastian's laugh was humorless, dry.

"Kurt said that he used to dress like him, or something."

"Yeah," Blaine chuckled. "From what I heard, he was quite the little stalker."

Sebastian shook his head, rolling it back and forth tiredly on his shoulders as he eyed the unmoving body of his heartbroken boyfriend.

"Dude, why didn't you talk to him?" Sebastian whispered in disbelief.

"Don't you think I tried?" Blaine sounded agitated, like he had to defend himself about this before. "Don't you think I tried to explain..."

"No, douche nugget!" Sebastian found it hard to contain his anger. "BEFORE you cheated on him?"

Blaine sighed.

"I realize that now," Blaine said softly, voice thick with regret. "I lost the best thing that ever happened to me, and believe me, I pay for it every day."

Sebastian wanted to laugh when he realized what Blaine meant.

"That's why you stayed with that guy?" Sebastian snickered. "That's how you chose to punish yourself? By staying with the tramp you cheated on him with?"

Blaine didn't answer, but he didn't have to.

"It's going to happen though, right?" Sebastian asked.

"What's going to happen?" Blaine started to sound tired of talking to Sebastian, but Sebastian wasn't quite done with him yet.

"You marrying your little whore…it's going to happen. I mean, you've been together for what…three years or something?"

"No," Blaine said in a low, dangerous voice. "No, it never will."

Sebastian's jaw dropped.

"You still love him, don't you?"

Blaine swallowed, hard enough for Sebastian to hear.

"I never stopped."

Sebastian looked up at Kurt, who rolled back over to face Sebastian, eyes still shut, face thankfully calm. He listened for any sign that Kurt had woken up before returning to the man on the phone.

"Blaine," Sebastian started, breathing in deeply to steady his voice, "I know you don't know me from Adam, but I love Kurt."

Sebastian heard the man's voice hitch on the other end of the line.

"And Kurt loves me," Sebastian confirmed.

This time, silence. He was sure Blaine had held his breath.

"Someone out here is after him…"

"Oh my God…" Blaine breathed.

"A man is stalking him," Sebastian clarified. "I think it's the guy he dated after you…"

Sebastian heard Blaine fidgeting, changing positions, maybe even walking, Sebastian didn't know.

"Kurt won't tell me who he is. He thinks he needs to protect me..." Sebastian huffed a laugh. "So, I'm asking you. Who is it? What's his name?"

"If…if Kurt didn't tell you," Blaine stuttered, "then I don't think he would want…"

"Man, I need to know what I'm up against here!" Sebastian hissed into the phone, getting pissed that this man in particular would want to keep the monster's identity hidden.

Blaine spoke so quietly that Sebastian almost didn't hear him.

"Dave. Dave Karofksy. That was his name. Kurt met him in New York. He was going to NYU."

D.

Dave.

Sebastian finally knew the name of the man he hated. The man he was going to hunt down.

"Did you know?" Sebastian gritted through clenched teeth. "Did you know what Dave was doing to him?"

"Yes," Blaine admitted. "I knew. I was in a completely different state, and I knew. It killed me, every day, knowing what was happening to him and not being able to do anything about it. I tried to get him to talk to me, tried to get him to come home, but he wouldn't. Until tonight, I hadn't heard from him since we broke up. But all I wanted was to get him back…to keep him safe…"

"Then…then why didn't you go after him?" Sebastian's voice softened. He didn't know why he could feel compassion for this guy. He had already come to terms with the fact that he couldn't hate him.

"After I graduated, I followed him to New York with Eli..."

"You chased after Kurt with your little slut in tow?" Sebastian shook his head. "That was a dick move, man."

"I wasn't thinking about that, alright? I…I didn't deal with it well. None of it. I built it up in my mind. I was going to rescue him. I wanted to be his savior. But by the time I made it there, they had already gone. I didn't find out till about a year later where he went."

Sebastian pinched the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut and shaking his head at the utter ridiculousness of this man.

_'I wanted to be his savior…'_

_'Well, bravo, Blaine,'_ Sebastian thought. _'Savior…well, you certainly do a great job of crucifying yourself and acting like a martyr.'_

"You know," Sebastian began, "I really want to hate you right now. I _should_ hate you right now."

"I know," Blaine answered quietly.

"No," Sebastian laughed humorlessly, "I don't think you do know."

Sebastian huffed, visualizing Blaine on the other end of the line, hunched over, defeated, looking for a lifeline to hold onto in this conversation with the person he probably felt had usurped his claim to the man of his dreams.

"Your little tale is remarkably self-serving, Blaine. If I was you and had a man like Kurt to call my own, I wouldn't have stepped out on him for any reason. I would have bypassed some cheap whore in a second rate hotel, and flown to New York to hash things out with my boyfriend."

Sebastian heard Blaine sniffle uncomfortably. Sebastian had to admit, at least to himself, that cheating on Kurt was exactly what the old Sebastian would have done, and for less of a reason.

That's why old Sebastian had been given strict orders to sit down and shut the fuck up.

Blaine was Kurt's one chance to avoid abuse. Had Blaine been more of a man, Kurt might have gotten his happily ever after instead of a nightmare.

Even if that meant never meeting Sebastian.

Sebastian looked at his own cell phone in his hands. He opened the photo gallery and scrolled through the photos. There were literally hundreds of shots of the two of them together – smiling, laughing, kissing. Feeling vengeful and bitter, he started texting some of them to Blaine as he spoke.

"Though, I guess I should thank you," Sebastian said with venom in his voice. "If you had managed to grow a pair and go after what you really wanted, I wouldn't have the incredible honor of having Kurt as a boyfriend. My kind, compassionate, adventurous, sexy-as-fuck boyfriend."

Sebastian heard Blaine whimper. Sebastian realized that he might have been crueler than necessary. Blaine wasn't much different than Sebastian. Back in the day, the two of them could have called each other friends…probably even the kind with benefits. The difference was that Sebastian had grown up – even if circumstance had forced that maturity on him, it was still there. Sebastian had found something that Blaine severely lacked…clarity.

Sebastian heard Kurt murmur, gently mumbling his name.

"S'bastian? 'bastian?"

"Look…" Sebastian stood, his knees creaking as he stretched to his full height, twisting his torso left and right to crack his stiff back, "as fun as this has been, I've got to go take care of Kurt."

"Of course," Blaine said quickly, maybe even sounding a little relieved. "Could you do me a favor and tell Kurt that I lo-"

Blaine stopped short. He sighed a long, painful sigh. Sebastian sat on edge, waiting.

"Tell him if he needs anything…anything at all…I'm here for him."

"Right." Sebastian tried his hardest not to sound too sarcastic.

"And Sebastian?"

"Yeah?"

"Please...take care of him."

Sebastian bit his tongue.

"I will…and thanks…you know…for the information."

Blaine didn't say good-bye when he hung up the phone.

* * *

Kurt had drifted back to sleep by the time Sebastian made his way back into the bedroom. He stood and watched Kurt, his chest rising and falling deeply as he slept, his mussed hair finally settling around his head, the trails of tears dry on his cheeks. Sebastian considered for a moment taking a shower, washing off the remains of the day before crawling into bed beside Kurt, but he decided to wait in hopes that Kurt would wake up and shower with him.

He didn't like showering alone. Not anymore.

Besides, he didn't want Kurt to wake up without him.

Sebastian went downstairs quickly to check on the door locks, and the security panel, making sure the alarm had engaged when he shut the door earlier. He grabbed the UPS envelope from the small table on his way back up the stairs.

Sebastian looked at the envelope and scowled.

 _'UPS,'_ he joked to himself, not entirely convinced that Eli didn't pull this stunt, the vengeful bitch. _'The fucker sent this UPS. Almost like he knew I worked for FedEx.'_

It was an idle thought, a ridiculous notion, but something about it struck a chord. If Blaine or Eli had sent the invite FedEx, or by regular snail mail, Sebastian would have seen it. He had taken to bringing the mail from the mailbox to the door when he showed up at two o'clock. Had he seen the envelope addressed from Blaine, he might have intercepted it. At the very least, he would have been with Kurt when he opened it. Sebastian pulled the invite out of his pocket and looked it over. The supposed wedding was scheduled for close to a full year from now. Why send it overnight? For that matter, who sends a wedding invitation UPS?

Sebastian flipped the vellum up again, fingers trembling as adrenaline pumped through him. Something about the photos had bugged him, but he couldn't put his finger on it until he looked again, especially after hearing Blaine talk about Eli on the phone. They were both blurry, and not just from being reprinted. The image itself was out of focus. Also, Blaine and Eli didn't really look like a couple in love. In the first picture, Blaine was walking almost a full foot ahead of Eli, back rigid, arms straight down his sides. From the back, he actually looked kind of pissed, like maybe the two of them had just had a fight. In the second picture, the two men sitting on the park bench were about as far away from each other as two people could be, no part touching, bodies angled slightly away.

Add that to the weird New York Times with the obscurely circled obituary, and all these things seemed a little too coincidental.

Sebastian bit his tongue again in anger to keep from exclaiming out loud.

 _'Shit!'_ he thought. _'Blaine was telling the truth…that motherfucker.'_


	20. Chapter 18

**A/N:** _For my more sensitive readers (whom I love to death, by the way, as they have chosen to stick with this story regardless of how difficult some of these chapters have been to read) a little bit of a warning. Kurt is hung over, and having flashbacks. Nothing is at all expressly stated. Everything he remembers or feels is very vague. Nothing is described or expressly stated. Just his feelings about bad memories. There is no graphic descriptions of abuse or violence of any kind. Just his feeling of being afraid. That being said, my warning here is for feelings of fear and anxiety. The only thing i can think of that might be a trigger has been highlighted. If you don't even want to chance it, stop reading at the highlighted 'Are' and start reading again at the highlighted 'Green'. You'll only miss about three lines that aren't too integral to the story._

_Oh...and they have sex. You're welcome ;)  
_

_Please enjoy.  
_

 

 

Kurt was stuck somewhere between asleep and awake, but he couldn’t force himself to open his eyes. He knew if he did, his head would swim, the light would burn, and everything he had eaten in the last seven hours would make an appearance. Staying in the dark behind his eyelids wasn’t an attractive option either. This chamber of darkness was too quiet, and he was lonely. Alone in his own mind meant that he sometimes wandered down roads that he had long since abandoned; roads that led to places he never wanted to revisit.

He needed to find the road that would bring him back home.

He needed to find his way to the man who could lead him out of the dark.

He needed Sebastian.

One eyelid opened slowly. The other followed. The room around him, somber and silent, frightened him. Everything felt forbidding and unfamiliar. He couldn’t remember how deep into his dreams he had traveled. What if Sebastian had never truly existed? What if Dave had beaten him so badly this time that he created Sebastian as a way to cope? Maybe he had been lying unconscious in bed for days.

It wouldn’t be the first time.

Sebastian might just be an idea, a beacon of hope.

Under similar circumstances, he had dreamt of his mother once – the smell of lavender that surrounded her hair; the blue of her eyes that never turned gray like his often did because she never got angry enough; her pale skin, so soft, so flawless, she almost looked like a porcelain doll.

Loving the way his mother looked had been Kurt’s first step, as a child, to loving himself.

It made him sick that Dave managed to take that away from him.

Kurt’s body felt heavy. A cold sweat broke out all over his already clammy skin. He didn’t dare raise his head. He searched around with his eyes, his head pounding because of the movement, but he couldn’t risk anyone noticing him. This time, if he lay still enough, maybe he could will himself to stop breathing, and then he would simply disappear.

Kurt heard the creaking of old wood boards and whimpered. He didn’t want to make the noise, but his body had other plans. He felt hands touch him, squeezing his shoulders gently, rub down his back slowly. The warm hands caressed him soothingly, seductively. This is how it always started. Touches - gentle, loving at first, and then rough, demanding. If it wasn’t Dave this time, it might be someone else. Someone just as bad. Someone slightly worse.

Kurt bit his lip, rolling it around between his teeth to sharpen the pain, trying hard not to cry. Things always went worse when he cried.

 

* * *

 

Sebastian had climbed into bed with Kurt after all. He couldn’t stand to sit on the floor. He felt too far from him. Kurt’s body always brought him comfort. He wouldn’t touch him, or try to arouse him. He just wanted to be near him, to smell the soothing scent of vanilla from his shampoo that fought its way through the pungent smell of tequila, to hear the faint whisper of breath escape his lips.

He didn’t realize that nursing a heartbroken soul could wipe out all his energy, though he decided to blame that on Blaine, too, thus absolving his beautiful Kurt of any wrongdoing tonight.

He opened his eyes to the sound of his phone buzzing. Sebastian smiled. He already knew who had sent him a message before he even fished the phone out of his pocket and turned off the ringer completely. Before settling down in bed with Kurt, Sebastian had texted his brother. Knowing his brother had a few more connections than he did, he asked Richard to help find out anything he could about the elusive Dave Karofsky. He hadn’t divulged too much information. He decided to remain vague about the gory details. After all, Kurt’s story wasn’t Sebastian’s to tell. He told Richard that his boyfriend’s ex had been making trouble for them. He knew his brother didn’t buy that as the whole story, but he had the decency to leave it alone.

Sebastian blinked as he glanced at the bright screen.

_From: Richard_

_Sure thing, Sebastian. I’ll check it out right away. P.S. When do we get to meet your man?_

Sebastian looked over the message a few more times and let his mind wander. Taking Kurt home to meet his family…well, at least just his brother and his mother. Sebastian liked the idea. The more he let himself imagine what it might be like, visiting his brother’s family with Kurt by his side, the more excited he became. Things had seemed so bleak when he first had to leave Harvard and his entire life behind. When he originally moved into his Stygian little apartment, he had resolved not to look past the here and now, because everything beyond that seemed so hopeless. Now, a vision of the future had emerged in his sights. It was waiting for him out in the distance, all because of Kurt.

He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms, blinking to clear away the sleep and relieve the sting of his dry eyes. His eyes burned. He realized too late that he had managed to get tequila on his hands, and then rubbed his eyes.

Yup. That was definitely a special feeling.

He got gingerly up off the bed and wandered to the bathroom to wash his eyes out with clear, cool water. The bright light bouncing off the white walls of the bathroom felt so clinical to Sebastian, almost like a hospital bathroom. For some reason, it made him think of his mother, and how much he missed her – her sing song voice, her beautiful sunny smile, her strange little snort of a laugh.

He suddenly hated this white bathroom. Why did Kurt even decorate it this way when the rest of the house reflected his personal, eclectic style? Maybe he could ask Kurt if they could redecorate it together, paint the walls a beautiful blue to reflect Kurt’s eyes. Maybe they could do some of the tiles in green.

A tiny, distant whimper broke through Sebastian’s thoughts.

He cursed himself quietly as he raced back to Kurt’s room. He swore to himself that Kurt wouldn’t have to wake up alone.

 

* * *

 

Kurt waited, breath trapped in his throat, fingers itching to clutch at the comforter beneath him. He anticipated the worst, and braced himself for it.

“It’s alright, gorgeous,” a velvety voice whispered. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t here when you woke up.”

“Sebastian?” Kurt’s voice cracked. “Is that really you?”

“Yes,” the voice replied. “Yes, I’m here. I’m not going to leave you again. I promise.”

 **“Are** you real?” Kurt still hadn’t seen him. He realized with what was left of his broken heart that this could all be a trick. The other men always mocked him, took his hope and turned it into a game, just another way to humiliate and destroy him.

Kurt wanted to push himself up, but certainly those warm, strong hands would just push him down, pin him to the mattress, and hurt him.

He felt a weight lift off the bed. Kurt gritted his teeth, knowing that the body that belonged to the sensual hands and the satin voice would soon be standing in front of him, a zipper lowered.

He knew what he was expected to do. Kurt’s eyes burned as he pushed down his revulsion.

 **Green** eyes.

He saw perfect green eyes, like jewels shining at him, even in the absence of light.

He only knew one person with emerald green eyes, and a smile so bright he’d see it even in pitch dark.

“Sebastian?” Kurt mouthed. He reached out a hand, shaking so hard he could barely control it. He tried to touch the beautiful face, to make his dream real so it could take him away from the beatings and the burnings and the rape. He wanted to settle in the sun, in his small garden, surrounded by flowers and tomatoes, with a man who laughed and took his picture endlessly while he pretended to be angry.

“Well, gorgeous. It’s nice to see you’ve climbed out of your bottle of tequila,” Sebastian’s comforting voice whispered. “How do you feel?”

Kurt didn’t have voice enough left to speak. Sebastian’s smile faded as he saw Kurt’s eyes become cloudy, watched as something else took over.

Sebastian leapt to his feet and gathered Kurt up in his arms.

“Okay, gorgeous,” he murmured soothingly. “We’re going to get you to the bathroom before you lose your lunch.”

Kurt felt like he should struggle, but he didn’t have an inch of fight in him.

Sebastian moved Kurt as carefully as possible, but with as much speed as he could. The moment the light hit his eyes, Kurt began to retch. Sebastian got him to the toilet just in time for Kurt to empty his stomach.

Sebastian rifled through Kurt’s tiny linen cabinet, looking for the softest washcloth he could find. He soaked it with cool water and waited while Kurt’s body heaved painfully. Sebastian dared a hand on Kurt’s back, touching him gently. When Kurt didn’t flinch or pull away, Sebastian began to rub calming circles over his back.

It seemed to take forever for Kurt’s body to stop convulsing. Sebastian knelt beside him, pressing the washcloth to Kurt’s head. He kissed Kurt lightly on the temple, clearing sweaty hair away from his face and eyes.

“Do you think you can stand, my love?”

Kurt didn’t want to nod. He opened his mouth and croaked out a sound that vaguely resembled a yes. Sebastian smirked - kindly, not cruelly. He dimmed the lights before laying Kurt out on the bathroom floor. Slowly, carefully, Sebastian undressed him. He moved Kurt as little as possible.

Sebastian remembered the last horrific hangover he had suffered. It was his second year at Harvard. It was after a huge party off campus. Someone, he didn’t even remember who, had rolled him into bed early the next morning. He vaguely remembered promising some professor a blow. He always wondered if he was the guy who dropped him off. Of course, his college roommate decided the best way to wake him up the next morning was by yodeling at the top of his lungs. His roommate had a hot body, was decently well hung, and spent most of the time they knew each other deeply questioning his sexuality, but none of those things excused being woken up like that.

Sebastian had a private room the next day.

After removing Kurt’s clothes painstakingly for twenty minutes, he tossed off his uniform. He started the shower, the sound of the water hitting the tile making Kurt groan out loud. Sebastian winced.

“I’m sorry about that, sweetheart.”

Sebastian lifted his boyfriend into the shower. He looped Kurt’s arms around his neck and held him tight, letting the hot rushing water soothe away the hurt and the anger. Sebastian had brought the washcloth in with them, and started washing Kurt. Sebastian felt Kurt’s muscles relax, his body melting against him. Kurt rested his tired head on Sebastian’s shoulder. Wrapped in the safety of his boyfriend’s arms, which Kurt realized was not some vivid fantasy, he sobbed quietly.

“Shhh,” Sebastian soothed gently. “It’s alright, gorgeous. Everything’s alright. I promise.”

Sebastian abandoned the washcloth in favor of holding his crying boyfriend in his arms. He didn’t imagine Kurt would still be so devastated. The more Kurt cried, the more Sebastian’s own heart started to sink beneath the weight of self-doubt. Kurt obviously still loved Blaine. How did this go on for so long without Sebastian noticing it? Was it simmering beneath the surface, simply pushed to the side when he and Kurt were together?

Sebastian had every intention of telling Kurt the truth, the whole story of how Blaine had been tricked, how he had gone to New York to try and find him, to rescue him from Dave.

Sebastian held Kurt tight in his arms, wondering. How much longer after he revealed all of that would he still have a boyfriend?

 

* * *

 

Sebastian dried Kurt off, covered him from head to toe in his favorite lotion, and then slipped him into the least restrictive, most comfortable clothes he could find – which happened to be his own Harvard sweatpants and white t-shirt. He propped Kurt up with every pillow on the bed, and then brought him a glass of water and a bottle of Tylenol.

“That glass of water is bottomless,” Sebastian said, sitting beside Kurt, “so don’t be afraid to ask for more. You need to stay hydrated.”

Kurt could finally nod without his head feeling like jackhammers were pounding through it. He sipped the water, the cool sweetness washing away the sour flavor of old tequila from his tongue.

“I’m sorry that I woke you.” Sebastian watched Kurt as he drank the water. He handed him two Tylenol from the bottle, which he plucked out with his fingertips so that he wouldn’t rattle the pills in their container.

“You didn’t,” Kurt said, his voice raspy, his throat still dry. Kurt took the pills with a grateful nod, swallowing them in one gulp with the rest of the water. Sebastian quickly refilled his cup from a pitcher he had filled and set at the bedside. “I was having a nightmare. For a moment, I thought you were…”

Kurt clamped his lips shut to stop the words from leaving his mouth, but Sebastian finished the sentence for him.

“You thought I was Dave?”

Sebastian wanted to tread lightly, but he also felt, in light of things, that this conversation between them was long overdue.

Kurt’s eyes went wider than Sebastian had ever seen. Kurt trembled, the water in his cup sloshing over the rim. Sebastian grabbed Kurt’s arm to steady its shaking.

“I know, Kurt,” Sebastian said with an apologetic sigh. “I know about Dave.”

Kurt looked on the verge of new tears. His lips moved to form a word.

“How?”

The question was silent, just a breath through Kurt’s cracked lips.

Sebastian looked down for a moment, setting the glass of water aside so he could take Kurt’s hands in his. When his gaze fell again on Kurt’s face, his blue eyes were hard, accusing. It killed Sebastian to see, but he refused to lie.

“I talked to Blaine.”

Kurt stopped breathing. He shook his head, disbelief and betrayal etched into ever line of his face. He tried to back away from Sebastian, but there was nowhere to go. He yanked hard to free his hands from Sebastian’s grasp, but Sebastian held on tight.

“Listen to me, Kurt. Please, just listen to me.”

Kurt would have screamed, but his dry throat wouldn’t make any sound other than a strangled choke. Sebastian pulled Kurt into his arms, holding him tight against his body. He tried to explain, as calmly and clearly as he could, about the phone call, about Blaine and the photos, about the phony wedding invitation. As he spoke, Kurt began to settle down in Sebastian’s arms, listening intently to every word of his story.

Sebastian paused, sighing as he made up his mind, and told Kurt how Blaine still loved him. How he had gone to New York trying to find him. How everything that happened between them was a manufactured lie by some jealous asshole from his office at Vogue.

Kurt listened, but his body began to shake with rage.

“I don’t understand,” Kurt croaked hoarsely. “Why are you taking his side?”

“I’m not taking his side.” Sebastian felt things slipping out of his control. “But, you deserve to know the truth.”

The shaking in Kurt’s muscles ceased. He was no longer struggling, no longer rigid. He went completely still. Sebastian laid him back against the pillows. Kurt’s eyes were closed, his breathing even. He looked like he was fighting to find peace.

"So, what are you going to do now?" Sebastian asked quietly, afraid of Kurt's answer.

Kurt blinked a few times.

"Well," he said, his voice sounding stronger, clearer, "I'm going to take about 9,000 Tylenol. And then I'm going to lie here until the room stops spinning, which I assume will be sometime in July."

Sebastian smirked, hoping this might be the first signs of his Kurt coming back.

"No," Sebastian said. "I mean about Blaine."

Kurt turned and really saw Sebastian for the first time that night - tired, worn down, hopeless. Kurt’s brow furrowed, confusion masking his own exhausted features.

"Aren't you going to call him up?” Sebastian asked painfully. “See if there's something still there?"

Kurt's face remained blank, expressionless.

"You love him, Kurt," Sebastian whispered, dropping his eyes to look at his hands, his fingers tracing shapes on the comforter. "I know you do. Maybe you guys could, you know, talk it out. Fix things."

Kurt closed his eyes and shook his head. Panic started to rise up within him, flooding his chest, making it hard to breathe. This was it. This little episode was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Sebastian had been so patient and understanding. He was bound to break eventually.

“I don’t understand, Sebastian. Are you…are you breaking up with me?”

“Kurt…” Sebastian tried to catch Kurt’s gaze, but he squeezed his eyes shut. “I just want you to be happy. He’s your first love and all. That means something.”

“I told you…” Kurt’s voice started to break as tears pushed their way through. He felt that if he cried any more, he would shrivel up and blow away like dry ash.  “There will always be a special place in my heart for him.”

Sebastian’s shoulders slumped, but Kurt didn’t see.

“You always keep a special place for your first love, right?”

“Yeah,” Sebastian agreed, his voice tight. “Mine is by my side, day and night…”

Kurt opened his eyes. Sebastian couldn’t look up to meet them. He shook his head, and Kurt saw the defeat in his shoulders, the light that usually surrounded him beginning to grow dull.

“My first love is you, Kurt.”

"Sebastian…" Kurt’s face became a mixture of emotions as he tried to make sense of things. “That can’t be true.”

“But, it is.” Sebastian moved closer to Kurt, cupping his face in his hands and staring deeply into his glasz eyes. “I’ve never been in love with anyone in my life, until I met you.”

Kurt didn’t know what to say. This whole time he foolishly thought that he was the only person in this equation in danger of having his heart broken; that Sebastian’s feelings for him couldn’t be close to what Kurt felt for Sebastian.

"I am so sorry, Sebastian..."

"That's okay," Sebastian interjected quickly, pushing up off the bed. "No, I get it..."

Kurt grabbed Sebastian's arms, pulling him back down to the bed.

"No," Kurt said, shaking his head. "I am so sorry that you think that I would leave you for Blaine."

“But, you and Blaine…”

"There is no me and Blaine,” Kurt emphasized. “Blaine and I were over a long time ago."

"He still loves you." Sebastian wasn’t sure why he was defending Blaine so hard. He didn’t want Kurt to leave him, but he wanted Kurt to have the chance to be truly happy.

Kurt scoffed.

"Yeah, but my love was so disposable that he tossed it aside without even consulting me on the matter. Besides…I’m in love with someone else.”

Sebastian smiled - a small, bashful curl of his lips which somehow managed to make him look angelic and devilish at the same time.

“If it makes you feel any better, he sounds pretty miserable with that chode he’s living with.”

Kurt smiled smugly.

“Yes,” he said. “Yes, it does.”

Sebastian inched closer to Kurt.

“Do you think it would be too painful if I kissed you?”

Kurt immediately covered his mouth with his hand.

“I don’t think you want to do that,” he said, giggling nervously.

Sebastian smirked.

“You forget, I was a frat boy once. I’m not sure anything bothers me.”

Kurt grimaced, but he wouldn’t remove his hand.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. He ran into the bathroom, grabbing his work shorts off the floor, and raced back to Kurt’s side. He rummaged through the pockets, and pulled out a tiny red and white tin of Altoids mints. He flipped open the lid, taking one of the little white disks and placed it on his tongue. Kurt watched, fascinated, as Sebastian pulled his tongue with the mint on it back into his mouth, biting down hard.

Sebastian’s face twisted in what looked like pain.

“Mmm,” he groaned as he chewed, “curiously strong.”

Kurt giggled, eying the mints, still nestled on paper tissue in their tiny tin. Before Sebastian could object, Kurt grabbed three and popped them in his mouth, chewing fiercely. Sebastian watched and waited, his eyes already laughing. Suddenly, Kurt screeched, breathing in sharply through clenched teeth.

“Holy shit!” he screamed.

Sebastian keeled over Kurt’s legs, laughing into the blanket. Kurt fanned his burning mouth with his hand.

“Haven’t you had these before?” Sebastian managed between laughs.

“Yesh,” Kurt said, trying to talk without shutting his mouth. “But, I figured since you’re determined to kiss me, even after the tequila, and the…well, I wanted my mouth to be extra minty.”

Sebastian lifted his head, watching as Kurt swallowed the remains of the crushed mints. Sebastian climbed over Kurt’s legs, looking down into Kurt’s face, his hungry gaze stealing Kurt’s breath away.

“Let’s see if it worked,” Sebastian whispered, taking Kurt’s face in his hands, staring lovingly into his eyes. The gray storm had calmed, and Kurt’s eyes had mellowed into a deep cyan, reminiscent of Lilies of the Nile.

Sebastian’s lips brushed Kurt’s, pressing gently against Kurt’s mouth as Kurt spoke.

“I love you, Sebastian,” Kurt whispered.

Sebastian stopped, smiling down on his beautiful prince.

“I love you too, gorgeous. I love you, too.”

Kurt wrapped his arms around Sebastian’s shoulders, pulling him closer, his fingers running lightly through Sebastian’s hair.

Sebastian sighed as he captured Kurt’s lips, clearing his mind of everything but Kurt – the way his skin smelled clean and fresh, how his lips felt when they moved along his mouth. Kurt’s tongue, smooth as satin, slipped along Sebastian’s lips, and his entire mouth tasted like peppermint.

Sebastian smiled. Kurt was his. Kurt still belonged to him.

He snaked his arms around Kurt’s back, holding him gently, but close. He felt an amazing sense of relief, but with that relief came the intense realization of everything he might have lost – Kurt’s strong arms holding him through the night while he slept, those prismatic eyes staring at him with love as Kurt teased him merciless, a million more kisses promised to him in the future from the softest lips in the world, a lifetime of ‘I love you’ spoken in Kurt’s melodic voice.

Sebastian’s kisses became more insistent, his hold around Kurt’s body tighter.

He didn’t noticed the tears that had rolled down his cheeks, or the way his lips quivered, until Kurt pulled slowly away and looked at him, eyes shining. Kurt raised a hand and traced the trail of Sebastian’s tears down his cheek with gentle fingertips.

“Oh, my love,” Kurt whispered sadly. “It’s all too much, isn’t it?”

Sebastian shook his head, grabbing Kurt’s hand and kissing his fingers.

“No,” Sebastian said, his voice unsteady. “No, it’s not enough. Not nearly enough.”

“What do you want, baby?” Kurt asked. Sebastian cradled Kurt’s hand, rubbing his palm with his thumb, putting it up to his cheek to feel Kurt’s smooth skin.

“I want you,” Sebastian whispered.

“You have me,” Kurt said with a smile.

“Then make love to me,” Sebastian pleaded. “Please?”

“Sebastian…” Kurt put his other hand over Sebastian’s, “you can make love to me whenever you want. You don’t have to ask.”

Sebastian shook his head.

“No, that’s…that’s not what I meant.”

Kurt watched Sebastian kiss his hand, caressing the skin with delicate touches of his lips. Sebastian searched for the right words to convey what he wanted, to explain what he was hiding.

“You’re right, Kurt. What you said in the shower the other day. I don’t… bottom.” It sounded so ridiculous and unsophisticated when he said it out loud, but Kurt didn’t laugh. He didn’t snicker. He waited patiently. “I don’t do it because…” Ugh. It was just getting harder. He never realized how much this affected him, but never before did he try to put it into words. “Kurt, I watched my dad force women into that position over and over again…” Sebastian swallowed as his mind brought up the memory. “I watched him bend young women over his desk countless times. I think…I think he might have even threatened some of them…with their jobs. They looked so wounded and helpless. I didn’t want to be like one of them. I wanted to be like him…with all of the power.”

Sebastian squeezed his eyes shut tight, disgusted at his own confession. He feared that he had just insulted Kurt, that Kurt would think Sebastian was calling him helpless and weak. Kurt said nothing. He simply held his hand.

“But, it’s not about power, is it?” Sebastian asked, daring to open his eyes and look at his boyfriend. “When you do it with someone you love?”

Kurt crept closer to Sebastian, until their lips almost touched.

“No,” Kurt said, “no, it isn’t about power with the person that you love.”

Kurt controlled the kiss this time, but he wasn’t dominating. It was still soft, still gentle. He wrapped strong, protective arms around Sebastian’s body, pulling him down toward him. Kurt rolled Sebastian’s body beneath him, laying him out with his head on the pillows.

Kurt climbed over Sebastian’s body, hovering over him, noses touching.

“Do you really want me to do this?” Kurt asked.

Sebastian nodded, finding it hard to answer with the force of Kurt’s compassionate yet hungry eyes staring down at him.

“Yes,” Sebastian whispered. “Please. I want to feel you inside me, Kurt.”

Kurt smiled as he moved to kiss Sebastian again, his hands trembling as he ran his fingers over Sebastian’s skin, reaching for the hem of his t-shirt. Sebastian lifted off the bed a little as Kurt slipped the fabric over his skin, off his body, and onto the floor, his own t-shirt following close after. Two pairs of pants followed next. Kurt’s naked body lay pressed over Sebastian’s, skin against skin, Sebastian’s hands traveling everywhere he could find skin to touch, his tongue swirling, tracing patterns along Kurt’s collar bone. Kurt arched his back, moaning as his cock slid against Sebastian’s, sending small waves of heat racing throughout his limbs.

Kurt absorbed every stroke of Sebastian’s fingertips along his skin, every kiss that sent vibrations surging through his blood, every look of longing that fell over his face, every kiss Sebastian placed on his lips.

Kurt could have stayed this way with Sebastian all night, wound up in his light touch and his sensual kisses. What did he have in his life more important than being cherished by this man? Nothing immediately sprang to mind.

A sweetly pleading, “Please, Kurt,” prompted him to move. Kurt lifted off Sebastian slightly, wanting a last look at his glorious green eyes before he moved, and caught a glimpse of anxiety in their emerald depths.

“Sebastian,” Kurt whispered, running his fingers down his cheek, “it’s all right. I’m not going to hurt you.”

Sebastian swallowed, feeling foolish.

“It’s not that…I…”

He couldn’t think of anything he could say that wouldn’t sound conceited or stupid.

“Baby…” Kurt kissed slowly along Sebastian’s jawline, delighting at the rough feeling of stubble against his still smooth skin. “It’s just us here. No one else.”

Sebastian sighed as Kurt’s lips traveled down his neck.

“No matter what,” Kurt whispered, “I will never think that you’re weak. You’ll never be any less to me than what you are.”

“And what am I, gorgeous?” Sebastian asked breathlessly.

Kurt couldn’t help looking at Sebastian with a smirk, hearing the obvious request for Kurt to stroke Sebastian’s ego a little.

“You’re strong,” Kurt said, rubbing his nose against Sebastian’s. “So much stronger than I am.”

Sebastian shook his head, smiling.

“I don’t believe that,” Sebastian replied with a gentle kiss to Kurt’s lips, lingering over his as he spoke.

“It’s true,” Kurt scoffed. “You’re also brave, and kind. So tremendously kind.”

“Just to you, my love,” Sebastian countered. “I’m pretty much an asshole to everyone else.”

“Not to Justice.” Kurt pouted as he licked circles over Sebastian’s chest. “Not to Madeline.”

 _‘Yeah, well, you weren’t on the phone with me a little while ago,’_ Sebastian thought, the smile that grew on his face becoming a sardonic smirk. Kurt misread the look on Sebastian’s face.

“I’m not trying to take anything from you…I just want you to feel what I feel when I’m with you.”

“I know.” Sebastian became serious. His entire body relaxed under Kurt’s touch. Kurt reluctantly pulled away from the warmth of Sebastian’s lips and traveled down his body, licking swirls over Sebastian’s skin, flicking delicately over a nipple, making him draw in a breath, shuddering as he felt Kurt’s satin tongue trace along the line of his muscles, circling every mole, every freckle.

Sebastian thought for sure that Kurt’s mouth would soon engulf his hard cock. He stiffened a bit when he realized that wasn’t his destination.

“Just relax, sweetheart,” Kurt whispered against his skin. “I promise, I’m not going to hurt you.”

Sebastian clenched his teeth when he felt Kurt gently spread him, but the first touch of Kurt’s warm , silken tongue over his entrance sent sparks racing through him, firing over every nerve, filling his body with amazing heat, all of which pooled in his stomach and shot straight to his cock.

“Oh, Kurt,” he moaned. “Oh, Kurt, keep doing that.”

Kurt smiled as he licked again, slowly teasing over the hole with the tip of his tongue. He could hear Sebastian struggling to stay still, wanting to squirm against the blanket. He gripped the comforter tight in both hands, moaning into the pillow with every pass of Kurt’s tongue. When Kurt’s tongue ventured tentatively inside, Sebastian’s whole body jerked. He tried to reach behind him, to touch Kurt’s hair, to feel the silky strands as they fell through his fingers, but another deeper dip of Kurt’s tongue had him clawing lightly over his chest, up his neck to pull at his own hair.

Kurt could feel it, understood what Sebastian meant when he spoke about power. Kurt felt powerful, fucking Sebastian with his tongue, feeling him lose control above him, but not for the reason Sebastian feared. Kurt loved the thought of giving Sebastian pleasure. He enjoyed having the power to make Sebastian fall apart. He could never do anything to hurt Sebastian, to humiliate him, to make him feel the way Dave made Kurt feel almost every day of their relationship.

Sebastian meant something special to Kurt, and yet, Sebastian seemed to think he would give him up so easily.

Kurt had to show him how wrong he was.

“Kurt,” Sebastian moaned. “I don’t think…I’m not going to last if you keep doing that, gorgeous…”

Kurt sighed. Not a moment too soon. Kurt needed Sebastian, and he couldn’t wait.

Kurt climbed over the body of his panting boyfriend, stopping to bite gently on the back of his neck, his teeth closing carefully on the soft skin.

“Oh, Kurt,” Sebastian gasped. Kurt knew he would never get tired of hearing Sebastian’s wanton, lust-filled, love-laced voice moaning his name. “That…that was incredible.”

“Well, hopefully it only gets better from here,” Kurt laughed nervously.

“Of course it will.” Sebastian reached back for Kurt’s hand, brought his fingers up to his lips and kissed them, slipping the tips one at a time into his mouth while he spoke. “As long as we’re together, it will be amazing.”

Kurt blushed. He couldn’t help thinking of everything Sebastian must have already done, all the men he must have been with. Kurt knew no one else had ever done this to Sebastian before, so he didn’t have to worry too much about paling by comparison. Still, Kurt imagined that Sebastian attracted chiseled, Adonis-like men and he, he was thin and pale…and broken.

Kurt didn’t want Sebastian to feel any less of a man, but Kurt hoped he was man enough to handle Sebastian.

Sebastian turned on the bed to face Kurt.

“I hear your mind working.” Sebastian smirked. “I think you’re overthinking this a little too much.”

Sebastian took Kurt in his arms and held him.

“You are so gorgeous. You turn me on so much. I just want you, baby. So stop thinking so hard and make love to me, alright?”

Kurt nodded, smiling shyly. Sebastian grabbed the nape of Kurt’s neck and captured his lips, kissing him hard. Sebastian’s other hand reached past Kurt to the bedside table drawer, fishing around for a condom and their bottle of lube.

Kurt heard foil tearing, and felt a warm, firm hand on his cock. He broke away from their kiss, a little surprised. Sebastian smirked at him.

“You don’t mind, do you?” he asked with a wink, rolling the condom over Kurt’s cock. Kurt’s cheeks burned red. He had done the same to Sebastian before, but it seemed like such an oddly intimate act, that it still made him blush every time. Sebastian smiled as he watched Kurt go from pale to scarlet.

“You look so pretty when you blush,” Sebastian whispered, planting a trail of cool kisses over Kurt’s red hot skin. Sebastian rubbed a generous amount of the slippery liquid over Kurt’s cock as he kissed him, moving to his lips, quivering slightly when Sebastian’s hands massaged over his length.

“How do you want me?” Sebastian nibbled Kurt’s lip after he spoke, like the punctuation at the end of his question.

Kurt didn’t say a word, only climbed over Sebastian’s body. Sebastian followed him, his green eyes blown wide until just slivers of their alluring color remained.

Kurt blew out a deep breath as he positioned himself against Sebastian’s body, the head of his cock just barely breaching Sebastian’s waiting hole. He heard Sebastian hold his breath as he pushed in slowly. It seemed like forever, moving in the space of centimeters, before the head of Kurt’s cock breached the puckered hole. Sebastian stretched over him perfectly. Both men moaned loudly. Sebastian chuckled at the sound. Kurt found he couldn’t move.

Kurt wasn’t prepared for exactly how amazing Sebastian’s body would feel. He pushed in further, slowly, opening Sebastian up around him just to feel him squeeze tighter the further in he went. Sebastian clenched around him, trying his hardest to relax against the unexpected intrusion. Kurt entering him wasn’t a bad feeling. On the contrary, he felt amazingly complete, closer to Kurt than he could ever imagine. Kurt inside of him felt like finding the last missing piece to a puzzle, a piece you never realized was gone until you found it and put the whole beautiful picture together.

The squeeze around Kurt’s cock as he moved inside his boyfriend nearly knocked all the breath from his body. He felt Sebastian’s muscles tense, then completely relax. Kurt grabbed Sebastian’s hips and held them tight, overwhelmed a bit by his delicious heat, and by how long it had been since he had last taken someone this way.

A million words fought to escape Kurt’s lips, but every sense he had was focused solely on the sensations coming from his cock as it plunged in and out of Sebastian’s body.

Sebastian had gone completely boneless. He didn’t want to move, didn’t want to lose contact with his beautiful boyfriend working slowly in and out of his body. The one thing he couldn’t help were the noises he made. A symphony of moans and gasps escaped his lips, unbidden, unrestrained.

“Oh, Sebastian,” Kurt managed once Sebastian had taken him to the hilt, and Kurt paused to regain his senses. “You’re so tight, baby.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment?” Sebastian joked.

“You should,” Kurt breathed. “How come you get to be so perfect while the rest of us sad mortals get to try and be happy with what we’ve got?”

Sebastian took Kurt’s arms and wrapped them around his body. Kurt tightened his arms around Sebastian’s body.

“Don’t you dare tell me you’re not perfect, Kurt Hummel,” Sebastian said, running his fingers along Kurt’s skin. “You’re perfect to me, and you better get used to hearing it.”

Sebastian grabbed Kurt’s hip, pulling him forward forcefully, taking him in deeper and holding him there. Kurt kissed the back of Sebastian’s neck with an irrepressible smile on his face. He could get used to making love to a man with the body of a god who called him perfect all the time.

In his own thoughts, lost to the sensation of Kurt’s beautiful cock inside him, brushing against a special hidden spot that never failed to force a moan from his lips, Sebastian wondered what it might be like to call Kurt by his own last name.

Sebastian could definitely see the appeal of this position. It felt comforting; relaxing even. Kurt surprised him. He wasn’t timid about being in control, by any means. Maybe he didn’t have Sebastian’s extensive amount of sexual experience, but that didn’t mean he didn’t know what he was doing. Being locked in Kurt’s embrace made Sebastian feel secure, protected.

Sebastian hadn’t even realized he needed that kind of security.

Kurt kept his pace slow, almost torturously slow. His perfectly angled cock would brush perfectly inside Sebastian, and then pull almost completely out before making its way back to that spot again. Kurt never missed.

Sebastian felt restless, waiting for the bliss to return, and then feeling Kurt retreat. Sebastian anticipated it, wanted it. His own neglected cock didn’t matter. He barely thought about his aching length while he waited for Kurt’s cock to return, to brush over him again. He arched back against Kurt, pulling his body tight against him, bending almost over double as he begged Kurt silently to go faster.

Kurt’s Cheshire grin pressed against his shoulder made him stop.

“So, I take it you want me to go faster,” Kurt said mischievously.

“Yes,” Sebastian hissed, “Please, Kurt.”

Sebastian winced to hear the whine in his voice, high-pitched and petulant.

Kurt quickened his pace, reaching around to grab Sebastian’s cock. Sebastian grabbed his wrist, stopping his hand.

“Just…hold me, Kurt,” Sebastian asked quietly. “Please?”

Kurt didn’t tease him this time. He held Sebastian in his arms, resting his head against his shoulder as he moved quicker.

Sebastian’s moans were addictive, and Kurt found himself pounding into him harder and faster just to hear more of them. He never wanted them to stop. He wanted to hear them ringing in his ears, until he came, wanted to replay them in his dreams.

At some point, Sebastian was sure he stopped breathing. Kurt’s body felt too good, too amazing for words. He tried to visualize Kurt as he moved, his hips undulating quickly, his beautiful eyes shut, lips parted and panting. He made a solemn vow to install a mirror in this room, and quick. The sight of Kurt fucking into him was something he needed to see. More than anything, Sebastian longed to kiss him. He missed the heavenly way Kurt’s tongue danced against his, the salty taste of his skin when he kissed Kurt’s neck, or his soft, pink lips moving against his, speaking quiet words of love that belonged only to him.

Sebastian felt Kurt shudder, felt him quietly shiver, heard his voice ring out like a bell as he gasped against his skin. Sebastian liked the idea that Kurt could so openly take pleasure from him, that he wasn’t timid about using his body. He didn’t know for certain everything that Dave had done to him, he didn’t know how far the wounds and the scars went, but for as much as that asshole had tried, his kurt was not broken.

The way Kurt drove his fingernails into Sebastian’s shoulders and softly cried out his name was proof. Sebastian saw stars light in front of his eyes as he came. Until Kurt had fingered him that first time, Sebastian had never come this way. Kurt held Sebastian close to his own trembling body, sinking his teeth into Sebastian’s shoulder gently. It had been so long since Kurt had gotten to enjoy someone this way. He didn’t know if Sebastian would want to do this again. He wanted to memorize everything about this moment.

Sebastian looked down at the blanket regretful, covered in his own cum, knowing that no force on heaven or earth would be able to make him move after that orgasm.

“Oh, Sebastian,” Kurt moaned, kissing over the bite marks and the fingernail indents. “Oh, baby, I’m so sorry.”

Sebastian’s confused face turned to meet Kurt’s.

“Sorry about what, gorgeous?” Sebastian asked, kissing Kurt’s fingertips as they ran over the mark Sebastian could see.

“I think I…”

“You think you’re incredible? Wonderful? You finally see everything I see about you, and you thought making love to me was amazing?” Sebastian interrupted quickly with a sly smile. “Good. I’m glad we agree.”

Kurt flushed, fumbling over the words he really meant to say.

“But, these marks…”

“Are perfect,” Sebastian sighed. “I’d keep them forever if I could.”

Kurt’s eyes went wide.

“Why?” Kurt asked.

“Because they came from you. They came from you fucking me so hard you couldn’t hold back. It’s all I want from you.”

Kurt hid his head in Sebastian’s shoulder as he held him. Sebastian wrapped his arms over Kurt’s and held him tight.

“Thank you for taking my virginity, by the way,” Sebastian said with a smile in his voice. “That was pretty amazing.”

Kurt giggled.

“You’re welcome?” Kurt said, not sure what to say. He curled up against Sebastian’s back. He grabbed hold of the blanket and pulled it over their tired bodies, preparing to fall asleep.

“Sebastian?”

“Yes, gorgeous?” Sebastian murmured.

“Do you think that really counts?” Kurt asked. “As taking your virginity? Or are you making fun of me?”

“I would never make fun of you, gorgeous,” Sebastian said, turning his face slightly to talk to his boyfriend. “I’ve never had sex like that before. I think it qualifies. Besides, I wish you _had_ been there the first time. It was pretty atrocious.”

Kurt couldn’t help but laugh.

“Would you mind if I asked how your first time was?” Sebastian asked quietly. “I mean, I’m not asking for details, just a general good or bad is fine.”

Kurt sighed.

“Would it be offensive to say it was perfect?”

“That depends,” Sebastian said thoughtfully. “Was it with Blaine?”

He felt Kurt stiffen against him.

“Yes,” he replied quietly.

Sebastian smiled, rubbing his head against Kurt’s shoulder.

“Then, no. It’s not offensive. I’m happy for you. You deserve to have that as a good memory.”

Sebastian held his boyfriends arms around him as he drifted off to sleep, dreaming about all of the firsts they could mark of their list.

 

* * *

 

Sebastian reached a sleepy hand beneath his pillow and found his phone. He pressed a button to light the screen and caught the time before a phone call started coming in. Sebastian smiled. He climbed out of bed, careful not to wake Kurt, and stepped out into the hallway before answering the call.

“Sebastian?” a similar voice, not quite as deep as his own answered.

“Hey, Richard!” Sebastian said, relieved to hear the sound of his brother’s voice after such a long time. “God, I never thought it would be so good to hear your voice.”

“Ah, big brother, that boyfriend of yours is turning you into a softie,” the other man joked.

Sebastian looked down at the state of his morning erection and chuckled.

“Not likely, little bro. What’s up? Kind of early for you to be calling, isn’t it?”

“First of all, you’re three hours ahead of me,” Richard laughed. “So, it’s not early for me.”

“Ok,” Sebastian said, “that just makes you a dick.”

Richard snorted. Sebastian rolled his eyes, but smiled wider.

“Did you get my letter yet?” Richard asked.

“Not yet,” Sebastian said around a yawn, “but I promise I’ll call you when I do.” He turned off the light in the bathroom and decided to head downstairs for a cup of coffee. His timer was set to go off in a little over an hour anyway. If he played his cards right, maybe he could have his boyfriend before breakfast.

“Great,” Richard said, sounding suddenly distracted. “Look, I only have a moment, but I just wanted to call and tell you I got some information on that guy Karofsky.”

Sebastian’s eyebrows shot to his hairline.

“Wow, man, that was fast,” Sebastian said appreciatively. “Who did you ask to look for you? The CIA?”

Sebastian plugged in the coffee maker and started measuring out coffee into the filter.

“I took a chance and Googled him myself,” Richard said. “With the information you gave me, he was pretty easy to track down. Seems your man took out a restraining order on him before he left him.”

Sebastian’s eyes lit up, his whole face glowing with the brightness of his smile.

“That…that’s great!” Sebastian said. “We can go to the police and tell them…they’ll have to listen to us now. I mean, it’s not a lot, but it’s something, right?”

“Normally, I’d agree, bro, but I don’t think Dave is the one stalking your boyfriend.”

Richard sounded uncomfortable.

“Why, Rich?”

“Because Karofsky’s dead, Sebastian,” Richard said evenly. “Car accident. About three years ago. Whatever’s going on out there, it’s not him. I’m sorry.”

 

 

 

 


	21. Chapter 19

Sebastian put the coffee pot down the moment he felt it slip from his fingers. He knew he should sit when he felt his knees start to buckle. For a moment, he thought he might have heard wrong. Or maybe his brother was joking. Sure, Dave's death solved a lot of problems for Kurt. Kurt wouldn't have to live his life in terror anymore. Maybe the nightmares would go away completely. Maybe the locks could come off the windows, and the fence could come down.

Dave being dead was definitely a good thing, in the universal sense, at least. Still, a huge problem remained.

Who wanted to get at Kurt?

"Sebastian? Are you still there?"

"Yeah…yeah, I'm…are you certain?"

"Yeah," Richard said sympathetically.

Sebastian still found it hard to believe. Dave was dead. The monster, the beast, the predator was gone, and yet, Kurt was still in danger.

"Can…can you send that information to me?"

"I actually already did." Richard sounded sad, almost sorry. "I sent it same day first thing this morning. Everything I could get my hands on. You should see it this afternoon." Richard chuckled. "I sent it FedEx."

Sebastian rolled his eyes, finding it difficult to smile.

 _'Well, it looks like I'm calling in sick for work today,'_ Sebastian thought.

The quiet, muffled sounds of Kurt whimpering upstairs without him caught his attention.

"Look, Richard…" Sebastian unplugged the coffee machine, and put his mug away. "I have to get going. Thanks so much for…for everything…really."

"Wow," Richard said, trying to lighten the mood with some good-natured teasing at Sebastian's expense. "You're becoming humble, too. When do we get to meet this miracle worker you're dating?"

"Fuck you, too, Richard," Sebastian said with a smirk Richard could hear.

"Seriously, though…stay safe, Seb."

Sebastian sighed.

"I will, Richard. I promise."

Sebastian hung up his phone and looked down at the kitchen counter, his head swirling with thoughts and guesses, trying to make sense of it all.

Dave.

Dave the monster.

Dave the abusive ex.

He made sense.

He had a motive.

They knew he had a violent nature.

But, he was dead.

And not newly dead…dead as in a long time dead.

Nothing that happened to Kurt in the past three years since he had moved to his little yellow suburban prison could have possibly been Dave's fault.

Blaine?

No.

Sebastian had Blaine filed under boneless, brainless, chicken shit, and martyr.

But Sebastian also had to admit that he believed Blaine when he admitted to still loving Kurt.

_That dick._

Then, there was Eli.

Possible, but improbable.

Blaine would have mentioned during their phone call if Eli had spent any significant amount of time out of town recently. It didn't really seem to Sebastian that Blaine loved Eli enough to protect him, especially if Eli had decided to target Kurt.

Still, Eli could have hired someone.

That idea stuck. It stopped the swirling thoughts and competing theories.

Sebastian considered the photos, staged, taken from a hidden location where neither man could see…or maybe only where Blaine couldn't see. What if Eli hired someone to take those photos and make up that phony invitation?

Sebastian's head pounded.

The only person he could turn to for help finding the answers to those questions was Blaine.

Sebastian groaned out loud.

He really didn't want to call Blaine again.

He would rather read every book in the _Twilight_ series.

Another tiny whimper from the upstairs bedroom stopped his speculating.

He would bite the bullet and call Blaine as soon as he got a moment alone tomorrow.

He quickly shot off a text to Debbie and Louis, letting them know he had family business to take care of and couldn't come in to work. He could get fired, but it would be worth it to get his hands on that information from Richard.

Sebastian made his way back through the dark lower level of the house up to Kurt's room.

He saw Kurt, still asleep, squirming beneath the blankets, arm patting down the mattress on Sebastian's side of the bed, his unconscious mind searching for his warmth. Sebastian moved to the bed quickly, slipping beneath the blankets and scooting close to Kurt so that his seeking hand could find him. When he did, and Kurt's hand made contact with Sebastian's skin, Kurt immediately stopped whimpering. His face relaxed, melting into a calm expression of bliss and peace. Kurt pulled himself closer, wrapping himself around Sebastian like the tendril of a vine might cling to a tree, relying on its strength.

Sebastian wound his arms around Kurt's body, and heard him sigh, his sleepy voice sweet and innocent. Sebastian kissed him tenderly, a small peck to the crown of his head. Then, he turned and looked out the window, or at least, what he could see of it. Justice had recommended replacing Kurt's sheer curtains for a pair of black out curtains, to block out the view from outside and give them more privacy. A sliver of space between the curtains let the moonlight through. Sebastian felt his alarms go off. Somewhere out there, in the night, a predator waited for his beautiful angel.

Sebastian stayed awake, staring out into the silent neighborhood.

He wouldn't let Kurt go without a fight.

Kurt felt the warm sun on his face and heat all around him. He smiled. He never thought he would learn to love feeling uncomfortably hot. Now, he did. He adored it, as long as it came with Sebastian's strong arms holding him, locking Kurt against his gorgeous body.

 _'What a way to wake up on an otherwise humdrum Tuesday morning,'_ he thought.

Tuesday morning!

Kurt sat bolt upright in bed and looked out the window through the space in the curtains. He saw the bright sun already high in the sky.

"Sebastian," he hissed, shaking his boyfriend gently to wake him up. "Oh, Sebastian! You slept through your alarm!"

"Nope." Sebastian grabbed Kurt's hips and pulled him back down the bed, throwing the comforter over his body. "I called in sick. I've been a good boy for an awful long time now. It's about time I played hooky."

Kurt curled up against Sebastian.

"Why?" Kurt asked, running a finger along the stubble on Sebastian's chin.

"Well, two reasons, actually…"

"They are…"

"Number one, my brother called me early this morning and told me he was sending me some important paperwork, and I want to be here when it comes."

Kurt thought this over. Sebastian's explanation, though vague, seemed reasonable.

"Okay, I get that," Kurt said. "What about reason number two?"

Sebastian opened his eyes and fixed Kurt with a sultry, come-hither stare that made Kurt's insides liquefy.

"I want to spend the day naked with you," Sebastian whispered. "I want to map out every inch of your body…every scar…every freckle…" Sebastian nuzzled against Kurt's neck, feeling Kurt shiver as heated lips touched cold skin, blazing a trail of fire over Kurt's neck and shoulders. "And from what I've heard, you want the same thing…"

Kurt looked equal parts shocked and embarrassed.

"H-how do you know th-that?" Kurt stammered.

"You talk in your sleep, gorgeous," Sebastian explained.

Sebastian smirked against Kurt's skin as he started to travel down his chest, searching with his tongue to find a sensitive nipple and settle over it, licking around the skin in circles, quickly, then slowly, then quickly again.

Kurt blew out a breath, his eyes rolling back in his head as Sebastian trapped Kurt in his embrace and started to suck on the rosy, tightened nub.

"And… _oooh_ …what do I say?"

Another smile. A longer swirl of his talented tongue.

Kurt felt his entire body wind into knots, coiling and tightening with every swipe of Sebastian's tongue. Much longer, and Kurt knew he wouldn't last. Who knew he could cum just by Sebastian sucking over his chest and swirling his tongue around his nipples? Obviously, Sebastian knew.

"Mostly…you moan my name."

"Oh, God." Kurt turned his head, trying to hide his flushed cheeks.

"Hey, now. None of that." Sebastian climbed over Kurt's body. "Hearing you moan is beautiful…so sweet and musical…and my name? In your sleep? Do you know how incredibly hot that is?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. Sebastian caught his reaction.

"What is it, love?"

"You spend an awful lot of time wooing me, "Kurt said.

"You deserve to be wooed," Sebastian said between a new trail of kisses along Kurt's collar bone.

"I just wonder…if this is the way you treat men, how come there isn't a long line of lovers hunting you down."

Sebastian paused for only a moment, sincere eyes looking up from Kurt's sternum where Sebastian had started to suck a dark mark.

"Because I've never treated anyone else like this, gorgeous. Only you."

Kurt's head fell back on his pillow as Sebastian went back to work on his masterpiece. Proud of his handiwork, Sebastian moved to another smooth patch of unblemished skin, but the twitch of Kurt's cock against his hip demanded Sebastian's attention.

"I would love spending all morning marking you up, gorgeous…" Sebastian waited for Kurt's reaction. He heard Kurt inhale deeply, a broken but not frightened sigh escaping his lips.

"But first…" Sebastian continued. He smiled mischievously at Kurt, slipping beneath the sheets, sliding over Kurt's naked body. Kurt tried to sit up, tried to squirm away, but strong hands gripped his hips and held him fast. With a deep, erotic chuckle, a warm mouth slid over his cock and sucked hard. Kurt moaned, melting into the mattress, allowing himself to be taken. Tight heat surrounded him, licked over him, massaged and caressed him.

It was a bizarre and surreal experience for Kurt, receiving pleasure like this. With Sebastian tucked beneath the opaque blue sheet and no image of his face to ground him, Kurt's mind freely wandered. Kurt closed his eyes and scrolled through memories of Sebastian's beautiful green eyes, his amazingly sculpted back, his narrow waist, his smooth skin.

Even in the throes of ecstasy from Sebastian's tongue, it would be too easy for Kurt's mind to stray to other instances when nameless, faceless men had their mouth on him, their hands on his body. Kurt fought to stay in the present. He focused his attention on all the little things he knew about Sebastian, everything he had set to memory.

He discovered he knew Sebastian's mouth, the silky feeling of his tongue on his skin, distinct like a fingerprint. Sebastian's hands on his hips held him down, kept him in place, but his fingers don't bite into Kurt's skin. Sebastian left tiny signatures - the way his thumbs rubbed in circles over Kurt's hipbones, or how he pulled away for a moment to trace a small heart along Kurt's inner thigh.

With the illusion of no one around to hear him, he babbled strings of obscenities into the open air, every dirty, vulgar word he had ever heard, all connected to loud moans and chants of Sebastian's name. A particularly long, hard suck earned Sebastian a guttural, "Oh, God, fuuuck!"

Sebastian lost it – utterly and completely lost control. He ravished Kurt, kneading his ass with rough hands, pulling his cock so deep down his throat he could barely breathe. Kurt writhed, fucking into Sebastian's mouth, spurred on by Sebastian digging his fingers into Kurt's soft flesh.

"Oh, God, Sebastian!" he screamed, his voice rising a pitch, his back arching. "Yes, yes, yes…"

His cries became softer, more strained, and before another conscious thought could enter his brain he felt himself coming down Sebastian's obliging throat.

Sebastian loved Kurt's reaction, his abandon. He didn't want to relinquish Kurt's cock, even as he whimpered and tried to jerk away.

Kurt pulled the sheet off Sebastian's body, grabbing his arms and pulling him up the bed. Sebastian obliged, climbing up Kurt's body. Kurt flipped Sebastian onto his back, wrapped firm fingers around Sebastian's length, and swallowed the moan that left Sebastian's lips with a heated, desperate kiss. Kurt's hand moved fast and furiously over Sebastian's cock, his other hand keeping Sebastian pinned to the bed, his mouth hungry, his tongue dominating. Sebastian could argue that he had let Kurt have his way, but why would Sebastian fight perfection when it wanted to use his body so perfectly?

Eventually Kurt's mouth left his and latched onto his nipple. Sebastian keened low in his throat, scratching over Kurt's scarred back with his nails. Kurt's hand moved so quickly, Sebastian didn't buck up into it. He lay still, letting Kurt decide when Sebastian would cum.

Kurt did that by sinking his mouth over Sebastian's erection, the catalyst that filled Sebastian's body with a powerful surge of heat, making him spill down Kurt's throat as he swallowed around him.

"See," Kurt said, sated and breathless, pulling off of Sebastian's cock and climbing back up the bed when Sebastian's body had gone still, "two can play at that game."

"Jesus Christ, Kurt!" Sebastian panted, pupils blown wide with lust as he laughed and kissed over Kurt's overheated cheeks. "What the fuck was that?"

"I don't know," Kurt giggled. "I've never done anything like that before.'

"Well, that was super hot." Sebastian caught Kurt's lips and kissed him, chasing his taste on Kurt's tongue and in his mouth. "I think a shower might be in order."

Sebastian wrapped an arm around Kurt's waist, pulling him out of the bed as he stood, wobbling a little on his feet at first. Kurt looked down at his own naked body and smiled shyly, wondering when he had gotten to the point that being naked most of the day, especially with someone else, didn't matter to him as much anymore.

"Um, you know, I won't be able to spend _all_ day in bed. I do have to get some work done on my book."

Sebastian chuckled humorlessly.

"You mean, the book that has that chode actor's name on it and your wonderful writing?"

"No," Kurt smiled slyly. " _My_ book. The 'chode' in question lost interest, but the publishers like it so far, and they want me to finish it…my name, my title, everything."

"Oh my God, Kurt!" Sebastian picked Kurt up and twirled him around. "That's amazing? When did you find out?"

"Yesterday." Kurt giggled, stumbling a bit, off balance from spinning. "A letter and a contract came to me in the mail. I even got an advance. It all happened before…well, you know…and I just forgot."

"We have to celebrate," Sebastian decided.

"Does that mean more sex?" Kurt's eyes sparkled, his voice teasing and seductive.

"Well, I was thinking dinner before whatever God-awful thing Madeline decides to torture us with tonight, but sex is always good."

Sebastian nodded thoughtfully, picking Kurt up and wrapping his legs around his waist.

"Yup, I think sex in the shower right now sounds like an amazing idea."

* * *

Sebastian sat at Kurt's feet in his office while Kurt worked on his manuscript. He got a couple of shots of his beautiful Kurt, reading glasses perched on the slope of his narrow nose, pen poised in his fingers, as he marked up page after page sitting on the desk in front of him, but Kurt only let him get away with it for so long. After that, Sebastian availed himself to yet another book in Kurt's collection. He tried to calm his mind by losing himself in a traditional murder mystery, a book that Kurt had mentioned in passing once before as being reminiscent to a traditional Sir Arthur Conan Doyle mystery. As intriguing as the story was, the closer the time ticked toward two o'clock, the less he found he could concentrate. By 1:56 P.M., Sebastian had read the same three sentences dozens of times, and still had no idea what the author was talking about.

The doorbell rang – a musical sound, like chimes, ringing in succession to produce the snippet of a piano piece by a contemporary artist whose name Sebastian could never remember. When he first heard it, it struck him as quaint but kind of annoying, and he silently thanked God that Kurt rarely got any visitors. Now, Sebastian welcomed the sound of the lilting chords, his entire body vibrating as he leaped from the floor.

"I'll get it," he called as he raced out of the room and down the steps followed by the sound of Kurt's adorable giggle.

Sebastian entered the code in the security panel that disengaged the alarm. As he reached for the doorknob he realized that the person filling in for him was either Louis or Debbie.

_Please, God, let it be Louis._

Sebastian pulled open the door and sighed in relief.

"FedEx, Mr…Sebastian?" Louis's confused face looked up at him. Louis looked left and right as if to make sure he was at the right address. Sebastian pulled the stack of enveloped from the surprised man's hands before he could say another word.

"I thought you had personal family business to deal with?" Louis asked, sounding more shocked than annoyed.

"I do," Sebastian said, flipping through the stack until he found one with his name on it.

"Then, what are you doing here?"

Sebastian found another envelope with his name on it, and sighed an enthusiastic, "Yes!" He flashed the envelope in front of Louis's face and said, "I live here."

"You…" Shock and exasperation gave way to a smirk and a sly chuckle. "You dog!"

Sebastian put the envelopes down, grabbing the digital pad and signing it quickly, handing it back, and eagerly opening the first envelope. The thick envelope didn't hold the stack of papers and information Sebastian had expected. No, in a way, he saw something even better.

"Well, you'd better hope you still have a job after today," Louis said, watching Sebastian's eyes light up. "Not that I have any intention of telling on you or anything man, but Debbie…she had eyes everywhere. She'll find out."

Sebastian smirked, looking at the older man through smiling green eyes.

"Actually, I don't think it matters whether she finds out or not." Sebastian laughed.

"Why not?" Louis tried to peek over the edge of the envelope, his curiosity piqued. Sebastian saved him the trouble, pulling a check out of the envelope, and waving it in front of Louis's face.

"Because, I don't have to work at FedEx ever again."

Louis's face looked crestfallen, and unexpectedly, Sebastian felt a deep stab of guilt. This man had befriended Sebastian, put up with his pompous shit, helped him when he needed a hand.

"Hey, man," Sebastian said, sincere in his regret. "I'm sorry that I'm going to be leaving you guys in the lurch."

Louis waved his hand dismissively, smiling, happy for his friend's good fortune.

"Don't sweat it, man. I always thought that you were better than this job. I'm really happy for you."

"Thanks, man." Sebastian extended his free hand and the man took it, shaking Sebastian's hand firmly. "I wish I could give you guys two weeks' notice, but I really can't. It's…" Sebastian's eyes flicked subconsciously up the staircase where Kurt sat at his desk, still diligently editing his book. "Well, I wish I could tell you…"

"No, I get it. You're in love." Louis tried hard to appease his friend's guilt, but it was hard to hide his disappointment. He didn't want to admit that he would miss working with the high-strung young man.

"Exactly." Sebastian figured it was true, and as good an explanation as any. "If you had the chance to spend every moment with your wife, wouldn't you?"

Louis looked thoughtful, but for only a moment. Then his face screwed up into the most ridiculous grimace Sebastian had ever seen.

"Hell no, man! I go to work to get away from that witch. I have six kids, and we all live with my mother-in-law. If I had to stay home, I would tear off my own arm and beat myself to death with it!"

Sebastian laughed. Louis patted Sebastian on the shoulder.

"Good luck, man," Louis said finally, looking passed Sebastian and eying Kurt, walking slowly down the staircase. Louis smiled and nodded at the pale man with his arms wrapped around his torso, watching them curiously.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Hummel," Louis acknowledged him respectfully. Kurt smiled back as patted Sebastian's shoulder once more, turned, and started back down the walk. Sebastian shut the door, pressing the button that re-engaged the alarm system, and turned to face his confused boyfriend. Sebastian looked back inside the open envelope and noticed a letter from his brother. He read it quickly and his smile grew wider.

"What was that?" Kurt asked, walking slowly down the steps, a strange mixture of shock and maybe a little joy on his face. "Did you just quit your job?"

"Yup," Sebastian affirmed. "Sure did, gorgeous."

"Wh-why did you do that?"

Sebastian handed Kurt the check. Sebastian watched Kurt's eyes scan the check once, then twice, then grow wide and read it again. Kurt sat back, not even looking to see if the sofa would be there to catch him.

"Two million dollars!?" Kurt had gone from alabaster to almost ghostly. "This is seriously a check for two million dollars!?"

Kurt continued to look over the check, his fingers trembling as he held it. He kept expecting that he had read it wrong and that it was actually only for two hundred dollars…maybe even two thousand dollars. He counted the zeros over and over. Still six zeros. His awed eyes lifted to Sebastian's, asking for confirmation that he was actually seeing things correctly.

Sebastian nodded.

"It gets better." He handed over the envelope. Kurt looked inside and found a bank card, a letter, a receipt, and three sets of keys.

"Can I…?" Kurt asked, indicating the letter.

"Of course." Sebastian sat beside Kurt, putting a hand on his knee, leaning in to kiss his neck while he read the letter.

_Sebastian –_

_This is the best I can do for now. Your account still has the $1.5 million you had left in it. I'll get you the rest as soon as I can. I cleared your bank account from the company's roster, so dad can't touch it. Deposit the check as soon as you can. Don't be stubborn and say no. Mom sends her love. Tell Kurt we can't wait to meet him._

_Love –_

_Richard_

Kurt held his breath as he read the letter again.

"You told your family about me?" Kurt carefully put the letter back in the envelope with the check.

"That was the first thing I told Richard when I started talking to him," Sebastian ran his lips along the column of Kurt's neck, making him shiver.

Kurt pulled the keys out of the envelope and looked them over.

"What are these for?"

Sebastian ran his tongue around the shell of Kurt's ear, watching the color return to Kurt's ashen face.

"My penthouse in New York…" he whispered, moving to nibble on Kurt's ear lobe, "…my apartment in Paris…" He moved lower down Kurt's neck to that spot on Kurt's shoulder that he loved so much. "…and my Porsche."

Kurt pulled out the receipt and noticed it was a lease for a shipping/storage company downtown – probably where Richard had sent Sebastian's car and paid to have it stored.

Strange butterflies danced around Kurt's stomach. He felt elated and sick all at the same time. Sebastian had his money back. He could get his life back. What if he wanted to leave him…what if he didn't need him anymore?

"So…so you're rich again?" Kurt asked.

"Yup." Sebastian found his favorite spot on Kurt's neck and sucked gently.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Sebastian pulled away at the underscore of anxiety in Kurt's voice.

"Because when I met you, my father had cut me off. Richard didn't tell me about any of this. I just got it today."

Kurt put the envelope and all of its contents on the table beside him, fighting his instincts to lash out, to hurt Sebastian before Sebastian could hurt him.

"Kurt…" Sebastian slid off the couch cushion to kneel on the floor. "Please tell me what you're thinking. I thought you'd be happy for us."

Kurt's eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"For us?" Kurt asked. "What do you mean…for us?"

"Well," Sebastian said, lifting Kurt's hands to his lips and kissing them gently, "I love you…you love me?"

Sebastian gave Kurt a moment to realize that he wanted an answer.

Kurt smiled slightly and nodded.

"This money means that our life is going to get a little bit easier. We can do things…big things…we can make plans."

"We?"

Kurt wanted to ask him outright, but he couldn't bring himself to say the words that buzzed around his head.

"Kurt…" Sebastian's smile faded. He looked wounded. "Did you think I was going to leave you?"

Kurt couldn't look at the hurt in Sebastian's expressive green eyes. He leaned his head back to gaze up at the ceiling.

"I just thought…that maybe…I don't know…you'd want your old life back…"

Sebastian scoffed.

"My old life? What do you think was so wonderful about my old life that I would choose it over you?"

"I don't know." Kurt's voice began to shake. "Harvard, friends, a partner who's not being stalked by a crazed lunatic…"

Sebastian sighed. He wondered for a moment if he should tell Kurt about Dave, but he decided to wait for a better time.

"Kurt, I don't want any of that," Sebastian said, calmly and evenly, trying his hardest to make Kurt understand the magnitude of his feelings. "I never wanted Harvard. I didn't want that life. I want you…" Sebastian put his hand over Kurt's rapidly beating heart. "I want a life that has you in it."

A single tear rolled down Kurt's cheek. Sebastian put his free hand over Kurt's cheek, catching the tear on his thumb, letting the drop absorb into his skin.

"You're my first love, Kurt," Sebastian whispered, closing the gap between them. "I want you to be my last."

Kurt sighed into the kiss, the sweet claim of Sebastian's mouth over his, warm and reassuring.

"I don't want this to ruin anything," Sebastian said, slowly moving away to look into Kurt's eyes. "I promise, this is a good thing, Kurt. You'll see."

Kurt nodded, not trusting his voice if he opened his mouth to agree.

"So, was that what you were waiting for?" Kurt asked, eyes falling over the rest of the letters on the table by the door.

"Uh, sort of." Sebastian's eyes followed Kurt's. He stood from the floor and walked over to the pile, pulling the second envelope out. "My brother sent this one as well, but I haven't opened it yet."

"Do you think it's another check?" Kurt laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

Sebastian shook his head, his smile not quite reaching his eyes.

"No, but I'm not in the mood to open it right now. I think we've had enough surprises for today. Agreed?"

To Sebastian's great relief, Kurt nodded. Kurt stood, walking to Sebastian and wrapping his arms around him. He stood on his toes just a bit to kiss Sebastian sweetly on the mouth.

"I'm sorry for thinking…"

"It's alright," Sebastian interrupted. "No harm done."

Kurt's eyes rolled toward the staircase. He bit his lips as he rolled them back to Sebastian's face, raising his eyebrows.

"Shall we go back to bed?" Kurt asked innocently. "I've never made love to a millionaire."

Sebastian chuckled.

"I thought you'd never ask."

Sebastian lifted Kurt, hands gripping his thighs. Kurt's legs wrapped around him as Sebastian rushed up the stairs, eager to get Kurt back into bed.


	22. Chapter 20

**A/N:** _I split this into two chapters because there's a lot to digest in this evening. Warnings for homophobic language and threats of violence and threats of sexual assault._

It was Madeline's turn to choose their Tuesday night excursion, and Sebastian cringed. Because of Madeline's bizarre ideas about fun, they had already endured a raw food cooking class (the irony not wasted on a single member of the group), Bingo (where Kurt watched with unchecked mirth as Sebastian was hit on by several elderly women), and couple's yoga (which managed to be wholly erotic and extremely mortifying at the same time - an opinion shared by at least thirteen of the other couples there). This time around, Madeline chose karaoke. Sebastian, not a huge fan of karaoke, still breathed a huge sigh of relief that he wouldn't be getting food poisoning, or naked in public.

She chose a karaoke bar on the other side of town that a co-worker told her about. Kurt made a big show of complaining up and down, but truthfully Kurt could think of worse ways to spend the evening than listening to Sebastian croon showtunes.

They got ready together in Kurt's bedroom, long gone the days when Sebastian would dress first or in the bathroom so Kurt could dress in private. As they passed each other, they would brush elbows or touch in some other little way, or hug each other from behind. Kurt smiled. A few times, Kurt would look over where Sebastian assembled his outfit for the evening to make sure that whatever he chose didn't clash. Sebastian had only unpacked two pairs of shoes and neither of them seemed right. He went digging through his bag, pulling out pair after pair, trying to find a pair of suede Oxfords he thought for sure he had brought with him. He didn't notice the pair of boat shoes that he hastily added to the pile. He intended on pitching them the first chance he got, but he forgot. He heard a gasp, and turned to see Kurt staring in his direction. Sebastian followed Kurt's line of sight and saw the vile shoes.

"Oh, Kurt…" Sebastian didn't quite understand Kurt's objection to the shoes, but he didn't want Kurt breaking down on him before the night even started. Kurt surprised him with a smile and a slight shake of his head.

"Don't worry about it, love," he said, waving a hand dismissively. "It doesn't bother me anymore, really."

Sebastian grabbed the shoes and shoved them back in the bag, finding with chagrin that he had unpacked the suede Oxfords a while ago; they sat in the foot of the closet, waiting for him.

"You know," Sebastian said, slipping into his shoes and tying the laces, "you never did explain why those shoes are such a trigger for you."

Kurt raised an eyebrow at the term. _'Somebody's been using Google.'_   Kurt smiled to himself, tickled that Sebastian loved him so much that he tried to find ways to help him.

"They're not really, it's just that…well, Blaine used to wear them all the time. Those and saddle shoes. He had a ton of them."

"Really?" Sebastian said with a smirk. "Saddle shoes?"

"Yup." Kurt looked once in the full length mirror Sebastian installed on the wall across from the bed, turning left and right to check the seat of his pants. "And bow ties. I think he had them imported from the 1950s, just for him."

Sebastian laughed, walking over to where Kurt posed in front of the mirror. Sebastian stood behind him, looking at their reflections together in the mirror.

"How do I look?" Kurt asked, standing still so Sebastian could evaluate his style choice.

"You look perfect." Sebastian delicately kissed above the crown of Kurt's head, careful not to touch him. Kurt looked at him through the reflection of the mirror and frowned.

"What is it, gorgeous?" Sebastian asked, noticing how Kurt's face fell.

"You're not hugging me," Kurt pouted.

Sebastian smirked.

"But, love, last time we went out you told me that if I mussed you, you'd rip my dick off."

Kurt scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"I was only joking." Kurt looked up at Sebastian demurely through long, brown lashes. "Muss me a little?"

Sebastian wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist and nuzzled his neck, kissing the sensitive, vanilla scented skin. Kurt gasped, bending his neck further in invitation. Sebastian lapped gently in circles with his tongue until Kurt moaned.

The lilting sound of chimes filled the air when the doorbell rang.

"Perfect timing," Kurt huffed.

"Later, babe," Sebastian promised, cupping Kurt gently through his skinny jeans, rubbing once softly, sending shivers over Kurt's body. With a sly, boyish grin, he bolted from the room and down the stairs.

"Who is it?" Sebastian asked through the door even though he knew who it was. No one other than FedEx showed up as often as these two.

"Sebastian! Sweetheart! Please, it's cold!" Hearing Madeline's plaintive whine, he disengaged the alarm and opened the door.

"You should maybe look into wearing more clothes," Sebastian teased, stepping aside so the feisty redhead could scoot quickly inside, swinging a punch at his shoulder as she passed. Justice followed dressed in a tight black tank and jeans – his standard clubbing attire. Sebastian spotted a black, padded bag sandwiched beneath his arm. Justice nodded at Sebastian - a silent signal. Sebastian locked the door as Kurt made his way downstairs.

"Aren't we leaving?" Kurt asked, raising an eyebrow at his suddenly suspicious-looking boyfriend.

"Uh, I need to talk to Justice upstairs," Sebastian said, "alone." He pecked a kiss to Kurt's cheek as he passed him on the stairs, Justice crowding behind him.

"Ooo," Kurt cooed. "Girl talk." He waved them away. "Shoo-shoo."

* * *

"Dead?" Justice said, with eyes wide. "Are you sure?"

Sebastian opened the second envelope from his brother and passed it to Justice. Justice sat on Kurt's bed and spread the contents on the comforter. Sebastian hadn't taken the opportunity to look over the contents, so he watched intently as Justice rifled through the papers – newspaper articles, an obituary, a copy of Dave's death certificate. Justice shook his head in disbelief.

"Did you tell him yet?" Justice asked.

Sebastian sighed as he took a seat opposite Justice. "Not yet."

"Bastian," Justice said disapprovingly, "man, you've got to tell him."

Sebastian nodded. "I will," he promised. "I just need to find the right time…but not tonight."

Justice swallowed hard and nodded. "I understand. Before I forget…" Justice handed the black bag over to Sebastian. Sebastian unzipped the bag and looked inside. He carefully lifted out a small, heavy object wrapped in a black handkerchief. He could tell by the shape and feel that it was Justice's first service weapon, the one he talked about lending Sebastian. Sebastian had never held a gun before - at least, not a hand gun. He had gone hunting with his father the few winters they spent in Vail, but this was different. This was for protection – protecting Kurt and protecting himself. Justice sat beside him and went over a few of the features – the safety, the clip, loading and unloading.

"Now, it's a standard clip," Justice explained. "I only have the one, but I'll find you another one as soon as I can. It holds fifteen rounds." Justice handed the gun to Sebastian, watching as Sebastian carefully wrapped it back in the handkerchief and put it in the bag. "Try to use only one," Justice said significantly. "And make it count."

Sebastian's eyes met Justice's. Sebastian nodded with deep understanding.

"What's the other one?" Sebastian gestured to the bag with a tilt of his head.

"That's a Taser. Home protection model." Justice pulled out the larger wrapped item. When he unwrapped it from the handkerchief, Sebastian saw what looked like a gun, only bulkier - a square, black body streaked with yellow safety lines. "I told a friend of mine at the gym that you were looking into getting one of these, so he leant me this one. It's a two-pronged assault and shoots up to fifteen feet. Each cartridge only shoots once, but the Taser itself can be used as a stun gun. He gave me some extra cartridges to go with it."

Sebastian packed the two weapons back in the bag and stowed it under his side of the bed.

"Thanks for this," Sebastian said, gesturing to the bag.

Justice put a hand on Sebastian's shoulder.

"Like I said, we'll figure this out. I promise." Justice reached in his pocket and pulled out a yellow receipt. He handed it over to Sebastian. "This is a bill of sale. Keep it in the bag, just in case you get caught with the gun. It says I sold it to you. We'll iron out the rest later."

Sebastian folded the paper and shoved it in the bag.

"You have to tell me how I'm going to repay you," Sebastian said.

"Keep Kurt and yourself safe," Justice said. "That's all I need for now."

"How about I flip for dinner?" Sebastian offered.

Justice smiled. He stood, offering his friend a hand up.

"Never let it be said that I turned down a free meal."

* * *

The Karaoke Palace looked more like a dive bar fifty years past its prime.

Sebastian huffed out a laugh when he saw it. He wasn't exactly surprised.

"I'm so sorry guys," Madeline moaned as they showed their id's at the door. "I had it on good authority that this was a really cool place."

"It might have been in the 30s," Kurt murmured beneath his breath rubbing up and down his arms, shivering. "Or maybe they were talking about the temperature since it's frickin' freezing in here."

Sebastian wrapped an arm around Kurt, pulling him close.

"We can totally go if you want guys." Madeline turned to face her companions. Justice put comforting hands on her shoulders.

Kurt looked at Sebastian and shrugged.

"I say we make the best of it," Sebastian suggested. "It's really not that bad. Maybe it's just slow because it's Tuesday. What do you think, babe?"

Kurt swept his eyes around the dark room, taking in the flickering black light over the bar, the dirty tables, the big screen TVs on the walls blaring tacky videos from dated songs off the jukebox. It actually reminded him a bit of a bar back home.

"I agree. Let's stay here, have a drink or two, and try to get our Karaoke on."

Madeline smiled, looking up at Justice with an almost childlike giggle.

"Great guys. Let's find us a table."

"Hey, gorgeous," Sebastian whispered. "You want to play some pool with me?"

Kurt's eyes glittered up at his boyfriend.

"Sure," Kurt said. "Why not, except I've never really played before."

"I'll give you a few pointers."

Sebastian took Kurt's hand and led him to where six tables sat in a rectangular formation, only two currently occupied. Sebastian pulled two cues off the wall and handed one to Kurt. Kurt looked at it curiously, holding it away from his body like it was some strange alien creature. Sebastian chuckled while he racked up the billiard balls.

"Who goes first?" Kurt asked, twirling his cue like a baton.

"I'll break." Sebastian lined up the cue ball, and bent over the table, positioning his cue and running it between his fingers. Kurt watched Sebastian concentrate on his shot, squinting just a touch to better focus on the ball. Kurt watched, enjoying this bent over image of Sebastian's body on display. Kurt definitely preferred Sebastian naked, but there was something to be said about the way his Dolce and Gabbana slim fit jeans hugged his thighs, and his perfect as ever ass. His shirt lifted up a bit as his arm moved, exposing a narrow strip of delicious looking skin.

Kurt stopped breathing as he watched, and thought, _'Oh dear God! I really want to take this man shopping.'_

"I'm going to go check my balls," Sebastian said.

Kurt almost swallowed his tongue.

"What?" Sebastian smirked, moving to the far pocket. Kurt had missed the opening break. Sebastian had sunk one ball of each. He held them up for Kurt to see. "I'll pick stripes, so you get solids."

Sebastian came back over to Kurt, watching him fiddle nervously with his cue as he looked at the position of the solid balls on the table.

"Do you want me to help you line up your shot?" Sebastian asked, taking Kurt's hand and pulling him over to the table. Kurt nodded. Sebastian leaned his cue on the corner, and pushed Kurt gently into position, leaning over him to help him line up his shot.

"This is so cliché," Kurt laughed.

Sebastian chuckled back.

"Yeah, well, that's the reason you take a first date to a bar to play pool," Sebastian whispered. "It's a guaranteed feel."

Kurt shook his head.

"But you can feel me up whenever you want," Kurt purred.

"I know." Sebastian crowded him a little closer. "But that doesn't mean I'm going to turn down an opportunity when it presents itself."

Sebastian could feel Kurt tremble as he pressed his body against him and smiled.

"Why don't we make this interesting," Sebastian suggested. "Winner gets a congratulatory blow."

"You're totally going to take advantage of me?" Kurt scoffed, doing his best to sound scandalized.

"Are you up for it?" Sebastian asked, licking around the shell of Kurt's ear.

Kurt chuckled.

"I'm up for it now," he laughed, rubbing back against Sebastian's crotch. "And it seems to me that maybe you are, too."

"Always am when I'm around you. Is it a deal?" Kurt rolled his eyes.

"I have a feeling I'm going to regret this, but why not." Kurt turned his head just a bit. "I love any excuse to have your dick in my mouth."

Sebastian's heart slammed in his chest. Kurt rarely ever talked dirty to Sebastian, but when he did, it definitely had the power to bring Sebastian to his knees.

"Are you fags planning to fuck on this table, or are you going to be done anytime soon?" a harsh, slurred voice interrupted.

Sebastian's head snapped up, looking for the source of the voice. Kurt stood slowly with him, both men turning to see a leather clad man glaring at them. Luckily, it only seemed to be him, and he seemed really drunk, but still, Sebastian didn't like to be addressed as a fag, and Kurt less so.

"There's a bunch of tables free," Sebastian said, his eyes dark, his voice dangerous. "Why don't you move along?"

"Because," the man said, closing in on Sebastian and Kurt, "this is the table I want."

"Then you can have it when we're done," Kurt offered, his voice icy, unwavering.

Sebastian had to admit that he was impressed by Kurt's calm.

"Maybe I can have you when you're done, too."

"Excuse me?" Kurt growled.

The man looked Kurt up and down in a way that made Kurt feel slimy.

"I don't do dudes," the vile man drawled, "so maybe you can just suck my dick."

Sebastian moved, making to lunge for the man, but Kurt's arm on his shoulder stopped him. Kurt had noticed the bartender moving, reaching beneath the bar for something Kurt was certain was a gun, but he wasn't sure who he would shoot – the drunk man or Sebastian.

"What do we need to do to get you to leave us alone?" Kurt sighed, catching Justice's eye from across the bar. The larger man made a bee line for their table.

"We'll play from the break. You can go first. If you win, I'll leave you two faggy lovebirds alone. If I win, I get you…" He pointed at Kurt. "…for ten minutes, on your knees, in the bathroom."

"Go to hell!" a furious Sebastian growled at the man. He moved to block Kurt from the man's view.

"Yeah," Justice agreed, joining his friend, thick arms crossing his chest. "No deal."

The drunk man laughed.

"Oh, you've got friends? I've got friends, too."

Sebastian looked away from the man his glare had been so intently focused on, and noticed a group of men had gathered behind him, each of them smirking, throwing amused looks at the men, ready for a show.

Kurt rolled his eyes and pushed his way past his friends.

"If I win, you and your friends leave us alone," Kurt said. "If you win, blow job in the bathroom."

Sebastian looked at Kurt, mortified at how cool headed he seemed, almost like he didn't feel any danger in this situation. Sebastian grabbed at Kurt's sleeve desperately as he walked toward the table.

"Kurt," Sebastian muttered, trying to get Kurt to listen to reason, "you can't…"

Kurt leaned into his boyfriend, his smile soft and soothing.

"Trust me, love," Kurt said, pecking a kiss to Sebastian's lips. "Everything will be fine."

The drunk man – Todd, they heard someone call him – grabbed Sebastian's cue from where it stood, leaning up against the table. Kurt approached the table, his face a blank slate of emotion with just the hint of a smile curling his lips.

Sebastian didn't want to watch but he couldn't look away. This felt like so many of his nightmares. He didn't want to stand by helpless and watch Kurt get victimized by another man.

Sebastian felt guilty. Kurt said to trust him. He was being so strong. Meanwhile, Sebastian tried to figure out a battle strategy. Maybe if he threw himself in the fray, Kurt and Madeline could escape. He knew Justice would be down for a fight. Sebastian looked up to see Kurt's blue eyes shining, that look that begged Sebastian to please trust him on his open face.

Kurt took his stance at the table, focusing on the ball in front of the cue ball. He started to shoot, and while he did, he spoke only to Sebastian.

"I'm from Ohio," he started, looking straight into his boyfriend's terrified green eyes as he shot the one ball into corner pocket. Sebastian's eyes went wide with shock.

Kurt chuckled.

"I know you didn't know," he said after the two ball went in as well. "Anyway, besides Glee club and cow tipping, there wasn't much to do there." By this time, the three and four balls had sunk. "My dad taught me to play pool one winter when we were snowed in."

The five and six both followed.

Kurt sighed, looking down the table.

"It's one of the ways we found to cope with my mom's death."

Since the seven had been knocked in by Sebastian during the break, and he was saving eight for the end, he aimed for nine. It rolled down the table and dropped away.

"That, and working on cars down at his shop."

Kurt moved on to ten, still talking as if Todd and his gang didn't exist, only shooting pool with the love of his life.

"I played with my friends from Glee after that. Finn was better at it than me, though. God, that used to burn me up inside."

By the end of his story, Kurt had cleared the table. The only ball left, the black eight, he sunk with practiced ease, leaving the cue ball spinning in dead center. He put his stick on the felt, turning to Sebastian with a sly smile, and then to Todd, his mouth dropping open in shock, as if just noticing the man was standing there, fuming.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Kurt said, putting his hands to his lips, feigning surprise. "Did you want to shoot?"

Kurt walked over to join Sebastian and Justice.

"You were hustling me?" Sebastian's body still shook, but relief had flooded his voice.

Kurt shrugged.

"Why don't we head out," Kurt suggested. "I'm done here."

Justice looked over to where Madeline had taken a seat at the bar, gesturing to her with a single nod.

Todd pursued the group, his friends close behind.

"You played me," Todd yelled, tossing his cue to the ground.

"So what if I did?" Kurt asked, unexpectedly brave in the face of his awed friends. "There was no rule against that."

Todd shoved a thick finger in Kurt's face.

"You owe me," he growled. "You cheated, and you need to pay!"

Sebastian wanted to intervene, but Kurt didn't seem to need his help. He stared the man square in the eyes, standing close enough to smell his whiskey breath.

"I've been beaten down by far worse than you," Kurt said, his voice so cold that Sebastian almost let go of Kurt's hand. He's never imagined Kurt like this. It was unnerving to watch. "So if you want me on my knees, you're going to have to try real hard to get me there."

Sebastian and Justice stood paralyzed, mouths agape. They had no idea if this would come to blows. Luckily, they didn't find out. The barrel of a shot gun separated the two men.

"This is over," the bartender said evenly. "Now this man won. Sunk every shot fair and square. You fellas are gonna have to go."

Todd continued to stare at Kurt, his hand forming into fists at his sides, flexing with the urge to reach out and throttle Kurt, but Kurt wouldn't back down.

It took the bartender cocking the gun to knock Todd out of his stupor, backing away slowly and walking out to the parking lot with his group following behind.

Sebastian watched them leave, think Kurt would turn and melt into his arms, but Kurt simply watched them go, his pale face hot with simmering anger and disgust.

"Uh, guys?" the bartender interrupted, clearing his throat, seemingly strangely more afraid of Kurt than of the group of roughians who had just left. "I heard your lady friend talking about karaoke."

"That's right," Justice replied when Kurt didn't.

"Well, I think you might want the Karaoke Palace. It's five miles west of here off the highway."

Sebastian looked at Justice, who held Madeline tight.

"Yeah," Sebastian said, staring at his unmoving, unblinking boyfriend. "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea."

"I'll walk you guys out to your car," the bartender offered, "Make sure there's no trouble."

The bartender led the way out to the parking lot, but Todd and his gang had already gone. Still, he walked them to the town car, the group walking in quiet procession through the parking lot.

When they reached the car, Madeline immediately hopped in, locking the door behind her. Justice extended a hand to the bartender.

"Thanks a bunch, friend," Justice said, shaking the man's hand. "That was good looking out."

The bartender nodded.

"I'm sorry about all that. I hope you guys have a good rest of the night."

Kurt approached the door behind the driver. He reached out a hand for the door handle, and then bent over double, vomiting onto the asphalt.

"Oh, Kurt," Sebastian soothed, rubbing a hand along his boyfriend's spine. "It's okay. They're gone and everything's going to be okay."

Kurt couldn't stop. Even when there was nothing left in his stomach, he continued to heave.

Eventually the painful convulsing stopped. Sebastian led him around to the other car door and they climbed inside, Madeline shoving a handful of Kleenex in his direction. Kurt took it and wiped his face, thanking Madeline quietly.

"Maybe we should just go home?" Sebastian asked, settling in beside Kurt. Kurt fell into Sebastian's arms.

"No," Kurt objected vehemently. "No, I want to go somewhere and forget about this. Let's go to the Karaoke Palace and have some fun."

"Are you sure?" Justice asked, turning to look at his crumpled friend.

"Yes," Kurt said. "Madeline should get her fill, because after tonight, she never gets to choose again."

Madeline's whole face dropped, and Justice snickered, earning him a sound smack to the shoulder.

Sebastian simply held Kurt tight against him, kissing everywhere on Kurt's head and in his hair that he could. He was proud of his boyfriend, proud of him for standing up for himself, proud of him for facing down his demons, but Sebastian hadn't realized how terrified he was of losing Kurt, and not just by some man beating him or raping him. It terrified him that Kurt might lock himself back up in his own head and disappear completely.


	23. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a continuation of the previous chapter. Warnings for anxiety.

“Now, this is what I’m talking about!” Madeline crowed as they approached the _real_ Karaoke Palace, a night club with all the loud hip-hop dance music and gaudy neon lights of Vegas, wrapped up in beautiful hipsters and alcohol. Kurt eyed several out and proud gay couples playing obscene tonsil hockey to the displeasure of no one, and breathed a sigh of relief. He didn’t imagine he and Sebastian would get harassed here. Maybe Sebastian would ask him to dance.

They clung to each other like lichen as they fought their way through the crowd, trying to make it to the very back where the karaoke bar was situated, far away from the thumping bass of the dance music at the front.

Madeline, Kurt realized, had many hidden talents. Singing, however, was definitely not one of them. A couple of people whispered behind their hands, but not a single person in the whole place would dare jeer at her, though, as long as Justice stood, so obviously mooning over her in the front row.

“Are you going to sing?” Kurt whispered to Sebastian, busy looking through the song book.

“I don’t know.” Sebastian took another sip if his rum and coke. “I’d definitely sing if you sang with me.”

Kurt opened his mouth, then closed it, shaking his head.

“I couldn’t,” he said finally. “It’s been too long. I really haven’t sung since…well, I don’t even sing in the shower.”

Sebastian looked up. Kurt had turned his head to watch Madeline. She squinted her eyes, trying hard to reach a particularly high note. Sebastian was impressed that Kurt didn’t even wince when the feedback from the microphone bounced obnoxiously around the room. He looked back down at the book and noticed the song his finger had stopped on.

It was perfect.                                             

“Uh, actually I think I might sing something, gorgeous.” Sebastian took a slip of paper from the back of the book, and wrote his name on it. Then, cupping his hand to cover his handwriting, he scrawled down the number of the song he chose. Kurt tried to look past Sebastian’s hand, but Sebastian covered the paper, palming it off the table.

“Nu-uh-uh,” Sebastian said, kissing Kurt on the cheek. “No peeking, gorgeous.”

Madeline sang three more songs before the DJ got to Sebastian’s name. Sebastian grinned, pecking Kurt on the forehead before jetting off to the stage. Kurt turned in his chair to watch him. Madeline sat perched in Justice’s lap with her arms wrapped around his neck.

“Hello,” Sebastian said experimentally into the microphone. “My name is Sebastian, and I would like to sing a song for my boyfriend, Kurt."

Sebastian pointed at Kurt, winking. Every head in the room turned to look. Madeline made sure to point obnoxiously in Kurt’s direction in case people in the room didn’t know who Sebastian meant. Kurt sat up straight, but ducked his head a bit to cool his reddening cheeks.

The music started, and even though the tinny, fake, karaoke version didn’t hold a candle to the real Keane version, Kurt recognized the song immediately, smiling wistfully as Sebastian sang, his rich tenor voice reaching Kurt, wrapping around him like an embrace.

` _“_ ` _I walked across an empty land_  
_I knew the pathway like the back of my hand_  
_I felt the earth beneath my feet_  
_Sat by the river and it made me complete…”_

 

Kurt remembered immediately, and with a little regret, the first time someone serenaded him with this song. His mind conjured the image of a young Blaine, so beautiful in his youth, singing to Kurt when he had just begun to realize how very much he loved him. Little did he realize that love wouldn’t be enough to save them, to save him, or to set things right.

Kurt wondered if he should tell Sebastian about it.

_“Oh simple thing where have you gone?_  
_I'm getting old and I need something to rely on_  
_So tell me when you're gonna let me in_  
_I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin…”_

 

No. It didn’t matter. The same song, the same words, yes, but they meant very different things. Teenage Kurt, full of heat and passion and the thrill of a budding romance, had a fairy tale fantasy of how life with Blaine would turn out. An older, experienced, more mature Kurt, with a better idea of how the world worked and how cruel it could treat you, had a much different fantasy.

The amazing and wonderful part, Kurt realized, is that his grown up fairy tale still had all the heat and passion of the earlier version, still full of romance, and this time, a love that had a better chance of standing all the tests that time could throw at them.

_“And if you have a minute why don't we go_  
_Talk about it somewhere only we know?_  
_This could be the end of everything_  
_So why don't we go_  
_Somewhere only we know?_  
_Somewhere only we know?”_

A minute with Sebastian, forever with Sebastian, in his little townhouse or in some far off city, hundreds or thousands of miles away from here – it all sounded the same. It sounded perfect. It sounded safe. It sounded like a future.

It sounded like happily ever after.

_“This could be the end of everything_  
_So why don't we go_  
_Somewhere only we know?_  
_Somewhere only we know?_  
_Somewhere only we know?”_

Not the end, Kurt thought. Only the beginning.

The crowd applauded, and not the polite-thank-God-it’s-over applause Madeline had received, but a genuine, heartfelt applause that included some people cheering, some people whistling, and grew louder, with people standing to their feet when Kurt surged up into Sebastian’s arms and kissed him.

Kurt kissed him, and kissed him, he couldn’t stop kissing him. Sebastian chuckled when he thought Kurt would break away, but he chased his mouth and caught his lips again.

“I take it you liked that,” Sebastian panted, chuckling against Kurt’s bruised lips.

“That was perfect,” Kurt whispered.

“Of course it was.” Sebastian beamed. “I sang it for you, gorgeous.”

The two men attacked each other’s mouths again, lost to the world, not paying any attention when Justice discreetly pushed Sebastian down into his chair, Sebastian only having enough presence of mind to pull Kurt into his lap so their lips wouldn’t need to part.

 

* * *

 

Kurt never went up to sing, and Sebastian didn’t sing again, opting instead to sit together and devour each other, which gave Madeline the freedom to mutilate more songs unchallenged. This started a slow migration of the crowd to the forward section of the club. The hour got late, and Madeline realized her only audience was Justice.

Kurt and Sebastian were looking forward to moving their party back home.

At midnight the couples made the unspoken mutual decision to head back to Kurt’s house.

High from singing, and kissing, and a last minute dance as they left the club, the four friends talked, laughed, and joked the whole ride home.

That’s probably why no one noticed right away.

A streetlight out…no big deal. Two might be a little suspicious, especially on opposite sides of the street. Even the five dark lights didn’t seem overwhelmingly suspicious.

An inexplicable chill hit Sebastian at the sixth broken light. His eyes swept the street ahead, so he saw it first. His green eyes staring at the darkened house, and out front…his mouth went dry.

“Justice,” Sebastian said quietly, “turn the car around.”

“What?” Justice asked, cheeks red from laughing.”

“Turn the car around.”

The intense calm of Sebastian’s voice made everyone quiet immediately. Kurt saw the direction of Sebastian’s stare before his eyes had the chance to flick away. Kurt broke from his embrace and looked towards his house. As the car approached the iron fence slowly, gate swinging on its hinges, the full force of the destruction hit Kurt.

He gasped – a small, choked off sound, like the mewling of a dying animal.

The car hadn’t stopped completely before Kurt leapt out.

Kurt walked toward the house, his legs barely moving, steps slow, eyes haunted, staring dream like.

His garden, his beautiful garden, every inch of it, completely destroyed.

The flowers, the vegetables, the small green house – all demolished.

Kurt quickly glanced once over his untouched house, not able to find relief in the fact that the destruction stopped at the garden.

Kurt’s whole body began to shake. He knelt down slowly, reaching out a trembling hand to stroke the petal of the only intact dahlia left.

“I don’t understand,” Madeline said quietly. “What about the motion sensor lights? The alarms? Isn’t the system supposed to text you in case of an attempted break in? I mean, it doesn’t look like the police were here at all.”

“They weren’t,” Justice replied, holding Madeline protectively against him, looking around at the darkened street. “It looks like the power went out. A cut in the power would have disabled the alarm.”

“But, it looks like the power went out on the far side of the street,” Sebastian offered. “I don’t see…”

“I can’t stay here,” Kurt whimpered over and over. “I just can’t.”

Sebastian gathered Kurt’s body up in his arms, all other thoughts forgotten.

“That’s okay.” Sebastian rubbed Kurt’s back soothingly. His gaze traveled down the block, searching for squinting blue eyes, ears straining to hear shuffling footsteps. “That’s okay, gorgeous. We don’t have to stay here if you don’t want to.”

“But…” Kurt’s voice trembled, his lower lip quivering. “I don’t…”

“I’ll take you to a hotel,” Sebastian continued quickly. “A nice one. Where they burn the sheets after people have sex on them.”

Kurt chuckled, the sound dry and sorrowful.

Sebastian took Kurt’s arms in his firm and gentle hands, holding him at a short distance to look into his eyes.

“Let me go inside and pack a few things…”

“No!” Kurt screeched, panicked blue eyes searching the dark. “What if he’s in there?”

Sebastian sighed, looking from Justice to Madeline, silently asking for help, but he could see both of them siding with Kurt, longing to get him away from here and to a place of safety.

“Alright,” Sebastian agreed. “Alright. We’ll go right now.”

Justice took a moment to check the perimeter, jiggling the front door knob, and then doing the same to the back to make sure that both doors were still locked shut. Satisfied that the house was still shut up tight, the group swiftly made their way back to the car, Sebastian shutting the gate behind them. They piled into the car quickly, and without another look back, Justice drove them away.

 

* * *

 

 

Even for a man with a healthy revulsion of hotels, Kurt stared, slack jawed with disbelief. He had stayed at more than a few no-tell motels in the past. He wouldn’t necessarily call himself a babe in the woods, but the hotel Sebastian took them to could have rivaled any lavish mansion he had seen in all of New York.

God, how he missed New York.

Kurt felt like he’d stepped into a show on The Travel Channel. He wanted to soak it all in, play the tourist and gawk endlessly at the crystal chandeliers, the bellboys in their impeccable uniforms, the multitudes of orchids on every possible surface, the gold gilding on every piece of molding, but he couldn’t. Feeling bitter and sour, he went over the detestable things that had happened that night, festered over every possible thing that had gone wrong, and snapped unnecessarily at Sebastian as if every conceivable misstep they had taken was all his fault.

Sebastian knew, and he took it. He let it roll off his back in the hopes that Kurt would tire of the anger and surrender to a different emotion, even if it involved hours of tears.

Kurt scoffed the moment they entered the suite Sebastian rented.

“Is it really necessary to rent a suite with _five_ separate rooms?” Kurt barked.

Sebastian handed the bellboy a tip, along with a slip of paper for the concierge, requesting the purchase of a few items of clothing brought up to the room, with the expense tagged on to his bill.

“Yes.” Sebastian closed and locked the door, taking a moment to peek his head into each room.

“Why?” Kurt asked, sitting on the foot of the bed and yawning.

“Because, I intend on having sex with you in every single one of these rooms…at least twice,” Sebastian teased as he checked for a Jacuzzi in the bathroom.

Sebastian winked, sincere affection sparkling in his green eyes. Kurt’s knees went weak, but he felt a little annoyed.

“Is everything sex with you?” Kurt sneered, a little too hastily.

“No.” Sebastian sat on the bed, turning to look into Kurt's eyes. “Because I don’t think of what we do as just sex.”

“Then what would you call it?”

“First of all…” Sebastian dropped to his knees in front of Kurt, “it’s communicating. When I’m with you, you open up to me. You tell me things about your life, things you might not say if you had a moment to think about the answers.”

Kurt averted his eyes, their blue depths exuding the shame he felt. Sebastian was right. Kurt wasn’t always forthcoming, especially when he should have been.

Especially about Dave.

“And, it’s _making love_ with you,” Sebastian continued, using gentle fingers to turn Kurt’s gaze back to his own, “every time. And I think it’s important right now because you need to forget about all of this…just, put it behind you for a while.”

Kurt saw the constant love and support in Sebastian’s stare, and he started to crumble from the inside.

“I-it’s hard,” Kurt choked around a sob. “I don’t understand…and I feel so…so lost…”

Sebastian felt Kurt falling into his arms, sliding off the bed onto the floor. Sebastian held him, cradling him in his lap.

“I know what it’s like to feel lost,” Sebastian confided. “To feel scared…overwhelmed…done…” Sebastian sighed. “I’m not going to tell you to stop.” Sebastian carded his fingers soothingly through Kurt’s hair, separating the strands, loosening them from the product that held them together. “But maybe, for tonight, you could get lost in me a little,” Sebastian pleaded, soft lips brushing gently over Kurt’s temple.

Kurt nodded, wiping the traitorous tears from his eyes and cheeks.

“Good,” Sebastian whispered, kissing around Kurt’s hairline, traveling down his cheeks, catching his fingers for a brief moment before Kurt pulls them away. “You can use me, gorgeous. Use me to forget.” Sebastian pressed kisses around Kurt’s ear as he spoke, imprinting his skin with promises. Kurt’s eyelids fluttered closed, feeling the words imprint on his skin, like a tattoo, crawling beneath, finding a way inside.

“Take me,” Sebastian murmured, “fuck me, hit me…whatever you want. Kurt, I love you. I adore you. Be with me.” Kurt’s body lay like an instrument in Sebastian’s hands, and he played him, undressing him slowly, kissing him tenderly. “I would do anything for you.” Sebastian fought the sound of broken emotion welling up in his voice. “All you have to do is say the word, Kurt, and I’ll do whatever, be whoever…”

Kurt’s eyes opened, realizing that Sebastian was pleading with him. He couldn’t stand it, couldn’t stand the thought that he might be breaking him. Kurt sat up to meet Sebastian’s lips, returning his gentle kisses and more, licking gently over the outline of his lips, running long, thin fingers through his chocolate-colored hair. Kurt smiled so Sebastian could feel it in his kiss.

“Take a bath with me?”

Kurt refused to let go of his claim on Sebastian’s mouth when he spoke, so Sebastian carried Kurt in his arms as he had so many times before. Sebastian ran the water in the tub, letting the basin fill, while Kurt undressed him. Kurt liked the act of undressing Sebastian. Right now, in this moment, in this life, he was the only one who got the privilege. He did it slowly, almost achingly so. While he did, he took the time to enjoy everything about Sebastian  - his breaths becoming short, almost anxious pants as Kurt’s fingers worked at the buttons near his neck, the way his eyes followed his every move, the black pupils slowly growing wide, pushing the innocence of the green aside to relay their true intentions, the way his body trembled when Kurt’s fingertips barely brushed over his skin. Kurt bit his lip as he stripped the last piece of clothing from Sebastian’s body. He smelled like a man, looked like a God, and basically gave Kurt free reign to do whatever he wanted with him.

The power made Kurt heady for a moment as he pondered all the possibilities.

He took Sebastian’s hands and pulled him towards the rapidly filling tub. The jets fired, and steam rose in tiny wisps over the churning water.

“We can sit and talk for a little while,” Kurt suggested. “Maybe we can take a little time to better understand each other?”

Sebastian nodded, following Kurt to the tub. He knew he would follow Kurt anywhere. That was all he wanted to do.

Sebastian sat first, helping Kurt into the tub after him and sitting him between his legs. Sebastian reached for a washcloth and a bar of soap. He leisurely lathered up the soft white fabric and ran it over Kurt’s skin. Kurt leaned his head back on Sebastian’s shoulder, sighing as he molded his body against him, reaching behind his back to touch Sebastian beneath the water.

Kurt had offered to talk. Sebastian decided to start with a big question.

“How did your mother die?” he asked.

Sebastian didn’t know how Kurt would react. Even as he asked, he half-expected Kurt to shut down.

Kurt didn’t flinch, didn’t open his eyes or try to leave.

Sebastian realized Kurt had probably answered this question a million times.

“Drunk driver,” Kurt said simply. “My mom…she picked me up from school. We were driving home and he ran a stop sign. Hit our car going fifty, right on her side. She died immediately.”

Sebastian had to hold on tight to the wash cloth to keep from dropping it. He drew in a deep breath and held it.

“You were in the car?” Sebastian’s arms started to wind themselves around Kurt’s body unconsciously, stopping their attentions to simply hold him.

Kurt nodded.

“Yeah.” Kurt’s voice was eerily calm as he recounted the incident. “I was in the back seat on the passenger side. Aside from some scratches from the broken class, I was completely…unharmed.”

“Did they ever catch the guy?”

Sebastian hoped and prayed Kurt would say yes.

“No. He got out of the car and ran away on foot. He was driving a stolen car. They never found him.”

Sebastian didn’t know how to continue on from there, so he didn’t. Kurt didn’t give him the chance. He pried the washcloth from Sebastian’s grip and turned in his arms. Kneeling on the floor of the tub, facing his boyfriend, Kurt began washing down Sebastian’s chest, less scrubbing and more feeling his way over his body with cloth in hand.

“What was your first time like?” Kurt asked, his expression both curious and coy.

“My first time what?” Sebastian shook his head a little, acknowledging the change in subject, but unsure what Kurt had asked.

“You said your first time having sex was horrible.” Kurt bit his tongue between his teeth at the pause. “Why was it horrible? What was it like?”

Sebastian felt a strange case of emotional whiplash - that Kurt would jump from something like his mom’s death to Sebastian’s failed attempt at a fuck astounded him slightly. Had he been talking to anyone else, Sebastian would have thought the move too tacky to dignify with an answer, but he knew Kurt was deflecting - taking an uncomfortable, potentially disastrous subject, and turning to something a bit safer, possibly poking fun at Sebastian in the process.

If he only knew.

“I was in high school,” Sebastian started, not willing to deny Kurt any part of himself. “I was a freshman, he was a senior. We were on the lacrosse team together. His name was Christian.”

Sebastian sighed, moving forward from the edge of the tub. He pulled Kurt into his lap, wrapping Kurt’s long legs around his waist. Kurt continued to massage lightly over Sebastian’s chest with the cloth as he listened.

“I didn’t love him,” Sebastian prefaced. “But, I was infatuated with him. He was hot and popular, and I was hooked pretty fast. I was scared, honestly, when he asked me out, because I kind of knew he expected me to sleep with him, and I don’t think I was ready.”

Kurt’s eyes softened, his smirk fading. His hand stopped its motions. Kurt put a finger to Sebastian’s lips.

“You don’t have to…”

Sebastian took Kurt’s hand and kissed it – kissed the palm, kissed the fingertips, kissed over the silvery scar on his wrist, tracing around it with the tip of his tongue, pulling a moan from Kurt’s lips.

“We went out to dinner and he asked me if I was a virgin, but I knew he knew. He spent the whole night feeling me up under the table.” Sebastian chuckled dryly. “I don’t think I ate a bite.” Kurt didn’t smile, didn’t return the chuckle. Sebastian put Kurt’s hand back on his chest, moving it around in small circles over his skin until Kurt got the message and continued his massage. Sebastian’s eyes followed Kurt’s hand. He didn’t look back up. “I told him I didn’t want to,” Sebastian said. “He said he’d let me fuck him so I wouldn’t feel taken advantage of, but it didn’t matter. I still did.” Sebastian swallowed hard. “We were in the back seat of his car. I couldn’t get hard, and when I did, it barely lasted a minute before I came.” Sebastian shook his head. “He laughed at me. The whole thing was just…just a mess.”

Sebastian felt Kurt shiver. He took handfuls of hot water from the tub and poured them over Kurt’s shoulders, but Kurt’s shivering had little to do with the cold air.

“That was a Friday night. He didn’t call me all weekend. On Monday afternoon at practice, I found out the truth, that I was just part of some game. He and a couple of friends were trying to make their way through all the gay guys in school…and some of the straight ones, too.”

Kurt gasped. He hadn’t meant to.

“Did you tell anyone?” Kurt asked in a voice so quiet he wasn’t sure Sebastian could hear.

Sebastian nodded.

“I told my mom.” Sebastian met Kurt’s eyes, raising a hand to run a finger down Kurt’s cheek, smiling reassuringly. “I left out the more…inappropriate details. Made it seem like I had been with a girl, and just…you know…felt pressured…wasn’t ready…just wanted her input. But my father overheard. He clapped me on the back like I was some big hero or something, like I had aced all my classes, or won the Nobel Prize.”

Sebastian ran his wet fingers through Kurt’s hair.

“Kind of dysfunctional, huh?” Sebastian tugged a few strands experimentally, smiling when Kurt trembled, his cock twitching beneath the water.

“And that’s why you…”

“Became a slut?” Sebastian finished quickly.

Kurt shook his head.

“No, Sebastian,” he said sympathetically. “I wasn’t going to say that, I…”

“It’s okay, love. Call a spade a spade. I did it. I know. Mounted any man that breathed pretty much. Played Christian’s game all through high school. I _excelled_ at it.”

Kurt flinched at the sarcasm in Sebastian’s voice. Sebastian regretted saying it, moving his hands to Kurt’s hips, holding him in place.

“So, your first time sucked,” Kurt concluded, nodding once and laughing humorlessly.

“That’s the long and short of it,” Sebastian agreed. “But, yours was perfect.”

Sebastian smiled. It wasn’t a bitter statement, just a commentary. A happy thought to hold on to. Kurt’s small smile didn’t reach his eyes.

“Yeah,” he scoffed. “But I paid for that, didn’t I.”

“Don’t say that.” Sebastian’s comment came out harsher than he meant it to. He took Kurt’s face in his hands and held it, staring intently in his eyes. “No one deserves to go through what you went through, do you hear me? No one.” He shook Kurt a little with the intensity of his emotion. When he realized what he was doing, how he was holding him, he let go, sinking back in the tub.

“We’re both kind of broken, aren’t we?” Kurt asked sadly, eyes downcast.

Sebastian nodded in agreement.

“But that’s not a bad thing,” he said. “Not everyone can be so well put together. Everyone has a couple of chips.”

“I just wish I could be stronger for you.” Kurt bowed against him, forehead resting on Sebastian’s shoulder.

“Hey…” Sebastian ran light fingertips over Kurt’s scarred back. Kurt peeked up through slightly damp hair to meet Sebastian’s eyes. “We get to be strong for each other.”

Kurt’s weak smile met Sebastian’s.

“Why don’t we finish up in here, and get started on that inside,” Kurt ventured.

Sebastian’s smirk returned, and he raised an eyebrow.

“You up for that?” Sebastian asked, moving up against Kurt’s cock, sliding their lengths together.

“Well, you did say something about ‘in every room…at least twice’. Or were those just words?” Kurt’s fingers danced over Sebastian’s chest, dipping below the water, the tip of his index finger circling around the head of Sebastian’s swollen erection.

“Kurt…” Sebastian moved closer, eyes trained on Kurt’s lips. “I’m not all talk. I never say something if I don’t intend on following through.”

They took turns bathing each other, wash cloth traveling from hand to hand as they kissed, Sebastian taking a moment to tease Kurt’s cock with slow, firm strokes as Kurt massaged shampoo for longer than necessary into Sebastian’s hair.

They had barely finished drying, slightly damp and still hot from the bath, when they made their way to the bed.

“Kurt,” Sebastian murmured, lifting his boyfriend by the ass and setting him onto the bed. “Don’t…freak out…but I…I wanted to do something for you.”

Kurt looked down his body to catch Sebastian’s eye, intrigued by the suggestion.

Sebastian walked over to a small closet which held a single white robe along with the stacks of towels and washcloths. He pulled the belt from out of the belt loops and carried it over to the bed. He held it out in front of Kurt, running his fingers along its length until he held it taut. Kurt’s eyes stared at it, his stomach twisting in knots, wondering why, what could Sebastian possibly have planned.

“I want to go down on you,” Sebastian said, his voice low, seductive, “tied up.”

Anxiety welled up inside Kurt as he backed up the bed slowly. He didn’t know Sebastian had BDSM inclinations. Maybe someday Kurt would be able to perform that way for him, but not now. He wasn’t ready.

Sebastian made no move to approach him. Still staring, mouth dropped, heart racing in his chest, he watched in amazement as Sebastian drew his own arms behind his back, tangling the soft belt around his wrists, fumbling to make a knot and pull it tight.

“Would you like to help me, gorgeous?” Sebastian asked, lips working into a grin of pure temptation.

The idea of being tied up repulsed Kurt, but the idea of having Sebastian tied up, giving him pleasure, fascinated and excited him. Kurt crawled closer, wrapped his arms around Sebastian’s waist, found the ends of the belt, and pulled them tight. Sebastian hissed when the terry fabric bit into his skin, but his smile never shifted, growing wider at the eager look on Kurt’s face.

“Now, lay back, gorgeous, and relax.”

Kurt watched Sebastian drop slowly to his knees at the foot of the bed. Kurt lay as far down off the edge as he could.

Sebastian’s eyes never left Kurt’s face, even as he lowered his head between his legs, stuck out his talented tongue, and licked slowly around Kurt’s balls, one at a time, sucking each into his mouth gently. Kurt couldn’t tear his eyes away, even when his cheeks flamed red, or when he moaned, uncontrollably, obscenely, into the quiet of the room.

Sebastian’s tongue traveled, flicked and roamed, sliding between his cheeks and finding his entrance. Kurt giggled at the feeling of Sebastian nuzzling against him, and reached shaking hands between his legs to spread himself open.

“Thanks, gorgeous,” Sebastian murmured, pecking a kiss to the back of Kurt’s hand before licking over the pink hole, dipping into the tight entrance, massaging him intimately, opening him up slowly. Kurt fought against his instincts to squirm away. His toes curled into the comforter, his eyes squeezed shut.

“Oh, Kurt,” Sebastian muttered against Kurt’s skin between licks, the vibrations sending waves through his body, fire pooling in his stomach. “Always so clean…so perfect.”

Kurt whined at Sebastian’s words, pulling himself apart wider, pushing down further to meet Sebastian’s mouth.

“Mmmm,” Sebastian hummed, moving away from Kurt’s ass, traveling up to his throbbing cock, flushed pink and twitching slightly against his stomach. ”You’re so hot for me, aren’t you?” Sebastian smirked when the twitching of Kurt’s cock was the first response he got.

“Yes,” Kurt moaned when Sebastian traced along the veins and ridges of his erection with his tongue.

“Yes?” Sebastian teased, mouthing the head lightly, not giving him too much suction or friction to work with. “Do you like my mouth on you, Kurt?”

“Yes, Sebastian.” Kurt moaned again, his voice sounding lower than normal and deliciously wrecked.

“Do you want me to take you into my mouth and suck on you?”

“God, yes!” Kurt whimpered, his head thrashing back and forth as Sebastian teased him, tortured him with gentle licks and barely there sucks.

“Say it, Kurt…” Sebastian gave him one long lick up the shaft. “Tell me what you want, gorgeous.”

Kurt propped himself up on his elbows, fixing Sebastian with an unexpected, unpracticed, sultry stare.

“I want you to suck me off, Sebastian,” Kurt growled, his tongue licking along his dry lips as he daydreamed briefly about kissing Sebastian’s swollen lips, smiling back at him, glistening and wet, knowing exactly where they’d been.

Sebastian basked for a moment in the look of unadulterated, filthy want that surrounded Kurt like a dark aura. Sebastian had never seen it before, but he knew he’d never get tired of it. Sebastian was done teasing. Without another moment’s hesitation, he took Kurt completely in his mouth until the head of his cock brushed his throat, and Kurt moaned, long and loud, unashamed of anyone hearing or knowing or complaining.

Kurt bucked up occasionally to fuck Sebastian’s throat, Sebastian holding still so Kurt could have his fill.

“Oh, _God_ , Sebastian,” Kurt groaned, the phrase sounding like a curse as Kurt ground his hips up against Sebastian’s mouth. “God, baby, you feel so good around me…so good…I can’t stand it.”

Sebastian wanted to smile. In his head he cheered, so glad he could do this for Kurt,  but his own cock started to become a distraction, growing harder, aching every time Kurt groaned or bucked. He wanted to find friction against the comforter hanging off the bed, but he couldn’t find an angle that suited him, and with his hands bound behind his back he couldn’t take care of himself. He pulled against the tie, feeling it tighten around his wrists with every movement. He almost growled in frustration.

“Sebastian,” Kurt moaned, his hips stilling, surrendering. Sebastian thought for sure Kurt was almost done. “Sebastian, I miss you.”

Sebastian pulled of Kurt’s length slowly, looking up at him.

“What’s that, gorgeous?” Sebastian asked.

“I miss you, baby.” Kurt twisted to look at his. “Come up here.”

Sebastian didn’t need to be asked twice. He was up on his feet and on the bed with a flash, crashing his lips into Kurt’s, lying on his back, positioning his bound hands beneath the small of his back. Kurt followed Sebastian’s arms with his hands, about to untie Sebastian’s wrists, but Sebastian laid his body flat on them, stopping him. Kurt looked confused when he broke their kiss.

“Nope.” Sebastian nipped over Kurt’s lips as he spoke. “I don’t get untied until you cum, gorgeous. And I want you to ride me…hard.”

Kurt’s mouth was on his again, smiling, laughing, thoroughly enjoying Sebastian’s play at being helpless.

Kurt knew Sebastian. If Sebastian wanted to dominate him, he could do it, hands tied behind back or no.

“Did you bring any…”

“Pocket of my jeans, gorgeous.”

Kurt leapt off the bed, pouncing on Sebastian’s jeans immediately, rifling through the pockets. Sebastian watched, lustful eyes smiling and amused as Kurt turned the pockets inside out, cursing when he went through all of them just to realize he had been assaulting his own pants. He looked around frantically, finding Sebastian’s jeans and pulling them over by the cuff. Sebastian chuckled when Kurt yipped in triumph, skipping back over with a foil packet and tiny ampule in his fist.

“Why did you even bring this with you?” Kurt said, climbing over Sebastian’s body, fumbling with the foil packet.

“I was kind of hoping I could get you alone in the bathroom,” Sebastian confessed. Kurt stopped and looked at him with a frown.

“What is it with everyone and fucking in the bathroom?”

Kurt’s fingers fiddled with the condom, rolling it over Sebastian’s cock two failed attempts later. The tiny break-away top to the ampule of lube was a little less forgiving, but eventually Kurt managed to pry it loose between his teeth, thankful that Sebastian favored a brand that was both edible and flavored.

“Kurt,” Sebastian laughed at his frazzled boyfriend. “Slow down, gorgeous.”

“I can’t,” Kurt ground out between his teeth. “I need to have you in me now!”

Sebastian’s laughter stilled as he watched Kurt, overwhelmed by desire, fighting his trembling hands to claim his prize. Kurt managed it, emptying the packet of lube over Sebastian, climbing over him carefully, and sinking down around him, quicker than he usually did.

Sebastian didn’t know how much stretch or burn Kurt felt. Kurt didn’t even bite his lip as he moved, showed no discomfort or pain whatsoever. Sebastian noticed that every light in the room stayed switched on, usually a big issue with Kurt who still, despite all the progress he had made with issues about his body, preferred the lights off. Right now, Kurt didn’t care. He rode Sebastian hard like he wanted, gripping at Sebastian’s abs, digging his nails in, throwing his head back, filling the room with wanton moans. Sebastian tried hard to keep up, trying to match Kurt’s bobbing body with powerful thrusts of his hips, but Kurt would have none of it. Kurt owned him, alternated between fast and slow, pinned Sebastian’s hips to the mattress with a deliberate shift of his body weight.

Sebastian watched his boyfriend open up for him, become a completely sexual creature with no boundaries, no limitations. Kurt wasn’t hiding his body, wasn’t afraid of his own appeal – he was giving, he was taking, and Sebastian was just a toy, something to play with for his own enjoyment.

That thought alone almost did Sebastian in.

Then Kurt spoke and took Sebastian’s breath away.

“I love you, Sebastian,” Kurt moaned. “I…I love you so much that it used to scare me.” Kurt stared deep into Sebastian’s eyes. Kurt never stopped, kept pace as he moved, even sped up as he chased the orgasm he so desperately craved. “But, I’m not afraid…anymore. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

A tide washed over Sebastian. So many times he and Kurt had professed their love for each other. Sebastian felt the depth of their emotional connection every time they made love, but Sebastian thought that only he had imagined their relationships in terms of forever. Now, that he heard those words from Kurt’s lips, Sebastian finally felt trapped by the belt that bound his wrists. He struggled, pulling at the ties behind his back, trying to reach Kurt, to hold him. Kurt leaned over his body quickly, reaching behind him, fumbling with the knot that got tighter every time Sebastian yanked, but by some miracle performed by Kurt’s nimble fingers, the knot came free. Sebastian felt the bind slacken, his wrists come free.

He sat up, grabbed Kurt, and flipped them over. He hastily threw Kurt’s legs over his shoulders and slammed into him, driving deep into his body, burying Kurt’s body into the mattress. The whole bed shook, the headboard periodically slamming into the wall. Kurt braced himself with his hands splayed against the wooden frame of the bed, chanting, “Yes, yes, yes, yes…” in a voice that eventually became so overused and broken that it stopped working altogether.

Sebastian knew he had Kurt, knew where his secrets hid within his body, and knew exactly how to get to them. Kurt’s eyes rolled, his body went rigid, and Sebastian knew he had reached his limit, holding on with barely his fingertips, waiting for Sebastian to tip over the edge with him.

“Cum for me, gorgeous,” Sebastian moaned. “Come on. I know you’re there.”

“You jump…I jump…right?” Kurt managed, still struggling to bide in the face of that moment of rapture he longed for so badly.

Sebastian laughed.

“Well, then you better start jumping now, gorgeous. Jesus Christ!”

Sebastian held on for as long as he could, coming with long, deep strokes of his cock, pulsating within Kurt, who sank his teeth into Sebastian’s bicep and bit hard.

“Nngh!” Sebastian groaned through clamped teeth at the sting, but he didn’t want it to stop. He didn’t want the feeling of this moment to ever go away. He wanted to savor it with all the other memories he held dear – some of them sex, some of them words, some of them quiet moments lying in each other’s arms, but all of them feelings.

Sebastian kept moving, slowing his momentum until he heard Kurt whimper beneath him, letting him know that he had passed over the threshold of pleasure. He finally let his body give out, pulling out carefully and falling on the bed beside Kurt. Kurt’s arms found Sebastian’s body immediately and latched on tight, as Sebastian discreetly disposed if their mess.

“Oh, God, gorgeous,” Sebastian panted, pulling Kurt on top of him, smiling at the musical sound of Kurt’s carefree giggles. This was the moment Sebastian liked best – holding Kurt close, feeling him shudder, his mind lingering on all the touches, the kisses, the moans, the quiet professions of love.

Sebastian stopped. His smile faded a bit.

Kurt had said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him, and in that moment, the world was perfect, but he had said it during sex – a time when euphoria can cause even rational people to make promises they never intend to keep. Sebastian didn’t think Kurt was one of those people, and in his head Sebastian knew now probably wasn’t the time to broach such a sensitive subject.

But he still only had old Sebastian’s tact and decorum, which for some strange reason won out in the end.

“You know,” Sebastian said, trying to be calm and humorous in the face of potential heart break. “Coital confessions of love and affection are not binding in the eyes of the law…so, if you, you know, want to forget…”

Kurt stared down at him as if Sebastian had just stabbed him in the heart.

“Wh-what? Are you kidding?” Kurt stammered. “I’m not that weak, Sebastian. I knew what I was saying…and I meant every word.”

Sebastian’s mouth dropped at Kurt’s tone. Kurt sighed. He weeded his fingers behind Sebastian’s head, holding him close.

“You’re going to have to learn that I’m not made of glass, and like you, I don’t say anything that I’m not willing to follow through on.” Kurt kissed Sebastian’s still startled face, softly brushing their lips together in the gentlest of caresses so he could still speak. “I love you, Sebastian,” Kurt repeated, the final tremors of passion waning, his voice calm and clear. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Sebastian stuttered. He lost every romantic sentiment he had ever practiced in his head, stumbling over words and phrases, looking for the perfect ones.

In the end, he spat out something that wasn’t even a thought at that moment, but the whole night it had hovered at the forefront of his mind, nagging him. It felt like lying not telling Kurt.

Here was the moment this particular truth decided to make itself known.

"Karofsky's dead," Sebastian said.

Kurt's eyes went wide.

 

 


	24. Chapter 22

**A/N:** _Warnings for stressful situations._

 

Kurt stayed silent, stunned, his eyes unblinking, his mouth working around the myriad of questions he wanted to ask.

“Wh-what did you say?” Kurt finally managed.

Sebastian sighed, closing his eyes, needing the dark behind his eyelids to gather his thoughts.

Sebastian needed to find his voice.

“Dave Karofsky’s dead.”

"Wh-what do you mean?” Kurt’s face didn’t know which expression it wanted to show, so they all tried to make themselves known at once. Relief, disbelief, joy, anger…he went with anger.

Kurt’s soft blue eyes, still beaming with the shadows of afterglow, turned hard.

“How do you know?" Kurt’s voice dropped, dangerously even and deceptively calm.

Sebastian didn’t want to answer that question. It would reveal the one time in their relationship when he deliberately disregarded Kurt’s wishes, even subtly unspoken as they were, but one look into Sebastian’s guilt-ridden green eyes, and Kurt knew.

“You went looking for him?” Rage started to creep slowly into Kurt’s voice. “Why!? Why would you do that?”

“Kurt, I need you to calm down and listen…”

“No!” Kurt shook his head violently. “No! This is unacceptable, Sebastian! I…”

Kurt wanted to get up, to get dressed, to walk out, but Sebastian grabbed him around the waist and held him.

“Kurt, please…”

Kurt tried to push Sebastian away, beating on his chest hard with his fists until Sebastian bit his lip and groaned, trying not to concentrate on the punches that landed and hurt.

“Sebastian! I…”

Sebastian knew Kurt had no intention of calming down, so he spoke quickly, hoping to get through to him.

“I’m sorry I went looking for him, Kurt, but I had every right…”

“Every right!?” Kurt stilled in Sebastian’s arms and glared at him, a look that normally might have made Sebastian wither, but Sebastian matched it with one full of equal fire and love.

“Yes, Kurt. I had every right. I love you. I want to keep you safe. I thought he might be the one stalking you, but you wouldn’t tell me anything about him. You wouldn’t even tell me his name.”

“Because I wanted to protect you!” Kurt countered.

“And what would have happened if he showed up at your doorstep, Kurt? What if he took you away because I wasn’t there, because I didn’t know what I was up against?”

“I…I would have handled it before that ever happened,” Kurt said, but he didn’t even sound convincing to himself.

“How?” Sebastian’s voice sounded tired. “By running away? Would you have left me, Kurt, to get away from him? Would you leave me?”

Kurt’s fire faded quickly, replaced by guilt. Sebastian gave Kurt everything, without thought or reservation. Sebastian gave him his love, his protection, his time. He stood beside Kurt in the face of his biggest fear. Sebastian had the means and, in Kurt’s mind, the motive to leave now – to cut and run. But here he was, holding on to him, even letting Kurt pound the shit out of him.

Sebastian had said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Kurt.

Kurt owed Sebastian so much. He could give him the benefit of the doubt.

Kurt relaxed his hands, opened his fists, and lay still in Sebastian’s arms.

“How?” Kurt said quietly, resting his head against Sebastian’s chest. “When?”

Sebastian relaxed his grip.

“A car accident,” Sebastian replied. “Three years ago…right after you left him.”

“And how do you know all this?” Kurt’s voice sounded small and distant.

Sebastian bit his tongue for a moment, preparing to pull this painful Band-aid off all at once.

“I asked my brother to look into it for me. He knows people…”

Kurt’s head snapped up, a little of the fire returning.

“I didn’t tell him anything,” Sebastian said quickly in his defense. “I told him we were being harassed and that we thought it was Dave. That’s it.”

Kurt softened. On the one hand he felt relieved. The monster from his nightmares was dead. A life spent hiding was over. But with Dave out of the picture, a new nightmare began.

Kurt’s eyes met Sebastian’s with the same thought in mind.

Kurt grimaced.

“Well, that’s great,” he said sardonically, “but we’re no closer to an answer now than we were before, are we?”

Sebastian nodded, pulling Kurt closer, resting their foreheads together.

“We’ll figure it out,” Sebastian reassured him.

“How? We’re not even back to square one. We’ve gone into negative numbers!” Kurt’s back bristled, his irrational nature seeping out as he tried to find an answer to this riddle.

“Kurt…” Sebastian tried to bring him back from the anxiety attack he was in danger of having. “I have a theory, but I don’t think you’re going to like it.”

Those words had a strange effect on Kurt. He quieted immediately. Encouraged by Kurt’s sudden rapt attention, Sebastian continued.

“I think it might be Eli.”

“Eli?” Kurt’s face twisted, the name twisting his lips into a grimace. “ _Blaine’s_ Eli?”

“Yes,” Sebastian affirmed. “I think he hired someone to do this. I think he sent you that phony wedding invitation. I think he’s been messing with you.”

Kurt scoffed, breathing an unexpected sigh of relief.

“Well, if it’s Eli, then I have nothing to worry about. I’m pretty sure that I can take that pathetic elfling.”

Sebastian wanted to laugh. He wanted to make jokes with Kurt and forget about all of this, but his brain wouldn’t let him. He couldn’t shake the feeling that the destruction to Kurt’s garden wasn’t just a way to mess with him. It was a message, and it was warning Kurt about something big on the horizon. Deep in Sebastian’s bones, he felt it.

“So, what do we do, then?” Sebastian asked, curious as to what Kurt would say.

Kurt shrugged.

“We tell the cops, I guess,” he replied simply. “We call Blaine and tell him to reign in his puppet so I can get on with my life.”

Kurt sat up. Sebastian looked at Kurt, confused by his cavalier attitude.

“Kurt, I agree that Eli might not be too much of a threat, but whoever he hired is. I don’t think sitting back in that house hoping the police will do something before this gets worse is the right choice.”

“And what do you suggest?” Kurt asked.

“I think…” Sebastian sat up to face him eye to eye, “you should leave that house.”

“Sebastian…” Kurt looked down at the comforter beneath him, “I don’t have the same choices you have. I can’t just get up and run. I have nowhere else to go.”

“What choices do you think I have?” Sebastian ran the back of his hand up the length of Kurt’s arm.

“You could go,” Kurt suggested quietly, praying that Sebastian wouldn’t take him up on it. “You could leave and go on with your life.”

Sebastian turned Kurt to face him.

“Sometimes I feel like you’re not listening to me, Kurt, but I’ll repeat it as many times as you need to hear it.” Sebastian kissed Kurt gently. “I don’t have that choice, Kurt. Don’t you see? The first night you asked me to stay with you, you took away that choice. I loved you then, and I love you even more now. You’re the only reason I have for waking up in the morning. This money I have, it isn’t everything, but it might just be a means to an end.”

“What end?” Kurt whispered.

“Well…” Sebastian thought for a moment. His eyes lit up with a sudden idea. “If this asshole is here, and he’s going to keep stalking you, then let’s leave. Let’s go to Paris. I can get us on a flight tomorrow. We both speak the language. We’ll blend right in. He’ll never find us!”

It sounded amazing, but Kurt didn’t know if he had the courage to say yes. He didn’t want to condemn Sebastian to a life of running away. He didn’t want to take away his freedom.

“Hiding out with me,” Kurt said, shaking his head, “that’s no way to live your life.”

“Kurt…” Sebastian pulled Kurt across the bed, holding him close, “that’s exactly how I want to live my life.”

 

* * *

They lay together on the bed naked, wrapped in each other’s arms, but neither man could really sleep. Kurt had a decision to make, but aside from that, he felt the weight of Sebastian’s revelation bearing down on him. Dave was dead, but he was still not safe. Neither of them were safe. And what about Justice and Madeline? He needed to think of their safety in all of this, too. They had done so much for him and Sebastian. He couldn’t continue putting them at risk.

Yes, running away seemed like the best option…but should he go with Sebastian, or leave him behind?

Sebastian held Kurt tight as he tried to sleep, afraid of drifting off and finding Kurt gone in the morning.

Sebastian was forced out of bed when guest services knocked and woke them up. Sebastian wrapped his naked body in the white robe, retrieving the belt from the floor by the bed to tie it closed, and opened the door. A man in a black suit and tie handed Sebastian a package wrapped in brown paper. Sebastian took the package and thanked the man, handing him a tip before closing and locking the door.

“What is that?” Kurt asked. Sebastian carried the package over to the bed and ripped open the paper. It was a stack of clothes – shirts, jeans, even underwear, all from an upscale specialty shop downtown.

“I know it was probably a cardinal sin to pick out clothes for you,” Sebastian joked. Kurt took the blue shirt and distressed skinny jeans that Sebastian handed him. “I hope you can forgive me.”

Kurt looked over the long sleeved button down tailored shirt.

Sebastian watched him with a hopeful grin.

“I got it in a shade I thought might match your eyes,” he confessed. Kurt looked it over, running his fingers over the fabric.

“You should have gotten it in emerald,” Kurt said. Sebastian ducked his head and smiled, standing up to lay out his own clothes. Kurt examined the jeans and frowned.

“You ordered me women’s jeans?”

Sebastian hung up his shirt and looked over.

“No, they’re men’s jeans,” Sebastian explained. “I just asked them to switch the placement of the buttons.”

“Why?”

“Because you told me you preferred them that way, remember? You told me you use to buy women’s jeans in high school because you liked the button on the opposite side.”

Kurt remembered that conversation, prompted by an older pair of jeans he kept stuffed in the back of his closet that he had put on in order to do the laundry. He had told Sebastian that if he could special order his jeans that way he would. It wasn’t the kind of thing he thought Sebastian would ever remember.

Kurt swallowed hard. Sebastian had just made his decision for him.

“Sebastian?” Kurt looked up at the gorgeous man coming back from starting the bath.

“Yes, gorgeous?” Sebastian’s eyes searched Kurt’s face nervously, knowing he had just made a huge decision and praying it was the one Sebastian hoped for.

Kurt took one last look at the clothes laid out in front of him, then turned glittering wide-eyes up to face him.

“I want to go with you,” Kurt said. “To Paris. I want to leave as soon as possible.”

Sebastian froze, letting those beautiful words sink into his skin, absorb into his brain.

“Really?” Sebastian asked.

Kurt nodded.

Sebastian’s whole body felt light. His heart raced, seeing for the first time, a relatively happy and relaxed future stretched out before them. He could live the rest of his life in France…or Germany, or Canada, or the Middle East, for that matter. He could even say good-bye to his family, as long as Kurt was with him.

Sebastian rushed over to him, Kurt giggling when Sebastian lifted him into his arms and kissed him, over his face and neck, around his ear and in his hair, everywhere he could reach. He carried Kurt to the rapidly filling bath so he could make love to him one more time before they started their new life together.

* * *

Kurt sat completely dressed in his stylish new clothes, watching Sebastian make calls and send texts, making arrangements for their trip. Sebastian looked so different here, in this lavish hotel room, wearing the kinds of clothes most people just dream of buying. Sebastian always seemed like a puzzle piece forced into a space where it didn’t quite fit. The color may have looked right, and even the edges came pretty close, but something about the overall picture just seemed wrong.

This was his world; this was where he fit in.

Kurt just hoped that he could fit in here, too.      

Sebastian called for Madeline and Justice to see if one of them could give them a ride, but the calls kept going to voice mail.

“She must be on another run,” Kurt offered.

“You mean she doesn’t just sit around and wait for you to call?” Sebastian teased as he brought up a browser window on his phone. Kurt shook his head, but Sebastian saw a shadow pass over his tired face that concerned him.

“I’ll call a cab,” Sebastian offered, flipping through Google to find a service nearby.

The cab arrived quickly. Kurt and Sebastian had waited in the lobby for it to arrive. Kurt’s whole body vibrated with excitement as he sat in the back seat, clutching hard to Sebastian’s hand. Sebastian squeezed his hand back gently and smiled. He couldn’t help the sly smirk that reached all the way to his eyes. Right here, right now, he had everything he wanted. He felt like after all the fighting, the end was in sight. He had won. Kurt had won. They’d be together in France by tomorrow, and they could put this behind them.

The cab pulled up outside Kurt’s house. Kurt and Sebastian stared at it for a moment through the car’s tinted window. The yellow townhouse looked smaller, lonely, already abandoned.

 _‘Well, it’s going to be a lot more lonely and abandoned when we get the fuck out of here,’_ Sebastian mused.

Kurt opened the car door and slowly pulled himself out of the cab.

“Wait here a minute,” Sebastian instructed the driver. The man nodded in response, cutting the engine and sitting back in his seat. He opened a copy of _Car and Driver_ from the seat beside him and starting to read.

Sebastian felt a spooky sense of déjà vu as he passed through the iron gate, swinging loudly on its hinges. They walked down the concrete path that led to the front door, flanked on both sides by wilting and dying plants and flowers – stalks cut viciously, whole flowers torn from the ground, roots torn and exposed. Sebastian held his breath as he saw it all anew in the light of day. So much anger, so much pent up fury, looking for an outlet. Sebastian cringed at the thought of what might have happened if the stalker had gotten to Kurt instead.

No. He hadn’t, and Sebastian wouldn’t allow himself to think about it. It was in the past.

Kurt couldn’t look at the plants, lying dead and mutilated in the dirt. He didn’t want to think that someone out there, someone he didn’t even know, hated him so much that they would do this, come to his house and kill everything in his garden. What if Sebastian had been home, doing his rounds late at night, making sure they were safe? No. Kurt wouldn’t dwell on that. He needed to start thinking about the future – Sebastian, and France, and freedom.

“Stay here,” Sebastian told Kurt, reaching in his pocket for the house keys. “I’m going to take a quick look around.”

Kurt nodded, though he wasn’t sure if he would rather join Sebastian on a search of the house, or stand out here in the open, waiting, vulnerable. Kurt looked over his shoulder and saw the cab still parked with its driver reading in the driver’s seat. Kurt sighed. At least he had someone nearby. Someone knew where they were, just in case.

Sebastian walked quietly, throwing open drapes and flipping on light switches wherever he saw them, flooding every shadowy corner with light. He checked the back door to make sure it hadn’t been tampered with, and then moved upstairs.

Sebastian checked the bathroom first, moving aside the shower curtain to make sure no one was hiding in the tub. He left doors open as he assessed each room. He checked the closet in the bedroom, as well as the one in Kurt’s room of ghosts, though the door to this room he shut when he left it. The attic was next, and then Kurt’s office, envelopes still stacked neatly in piles that were undisturbed.

Sebastian went back into the bedroom to grab the envelope that held his keys, his check, and his receipt. He rushed downstairs, satisfied that no one was hiding in the house. Kurt waited for him on the doorstep, rocking back and forth on his heels, fidgeting nervously with the cuff of the sleeve that covered his scar. Sebastian grabbed his wrist when he saw him, bringing it to his lips and licking delicately over the scar. In some ways, Sebastian saw that scar as the key that unlocked the secret of Kurt for him, and he constantly liked to remind himself of its existence.

He wrapped Kurt in his arms and kissed him, smiling his mega-watt Cheshire cat smile against Kurt’s mouth.

“Now,” Sebastian started, dancing in place with Kurt in his arms, “put as much as you can into a single suitcase – clothing optional of course…”

Kurt rolled his eyes, still nervous, but able to steal some of Sebastian’s infectious happiness.

“I’m going to deposit this check and pick up my Porsche, and then we’re out of here, gorgeous.”

Kurt’s eyebrows pulled together in confusion.

“But, what will we do about…”

“The house?” Sebastian kissed Kurt again and smiled. “We’ll talk about it on the plane, and then hire a company to take care of it. I promise…it’ll all be taken care of.”

Sebastian watched as Kurt’s blue-grey eyes stared at him, almost imploringly. Sebastian’s smile faded.

“Hey, if you want me to stay with you, I will,” Sebastian offered. “We’ll pack together, and go pick up the Porsche later. We can stay at the hotel one more night and take care of the house tomorrow. Whatever you want. You just have to tell me.”

The word ‘tomorrow’ snapped Kurt out of his funk. No, he didn’t want to be anywhere near here tomorrow.

Kurt smiled, weak, but brighter.

“No, no,” Kurt said. “I’ll be fine.”

Kurt looked at the antique wooden door, open slightly, leading into the house. He shook his head.

“Nothing in there can hurt me.”

Sebastian pulled Kurt closer and whispered in his ear.

“It’ll all be okay.”

Kurt sighed. For the first time, he could actually believe that.

Sebastian kissed Kurt’s scar again, holding his hand as he backed away, until only their fingertips touched, and brushed, and Sebastian was walking away down the path of destruction, heading to the car. Kurt watched him go, the way he had so many times. When Sebastian came back, they would walk down this path one more time together, away from here, on their way to happiness.

Kurt watched the cab until it turned the corner, and he could no longer see Sebastian’s goofy face, blowing kisses at him from the open car window.

Kurt closed the door and locked it, throwing all the bolts. He pressed the button to arm the alarm, frowning when its normal little chirp didn’t greet him. He stared for a moment before remembering that the power had gone out and disabled the alarm. He made a mental note to call the company and have it fixed before they left…or after they left…or not at all. It didn’t seem to matter to him anymore.

Kurt hurried to gather a few things into a large suitcase. He bit his lip and blushed remembering Sebastian’s ‘clothing optional’ remark. What would Sebastian actually do if they got to France and Kurt opened his large suitcase to reveal he hadn’t packed a stitch of clothes? Kurt chuckled. Probably fuck like bunnies and then order him a new wardrobe.

Kurt walked around the bedroom slowly, picking up items he knew he would miss if he never came back, or things he didn’t trust movers to keep safe - little things like his mother’s jewelry box, his father’s Buckeyes cap, and his stepbrother’s football jersey, which he had accidentally packed when he left for New York all those many years ago, and never got around to sending back. He saw a FedEx envelope lying on the bed, with papers spilling out and scattered all around. He fingered through the pages and saw all the information Sebastian had mentioned his brother sending him – documents, a death certificate, newspaper articles. He picked one up and read a few lines, his stomach twisting in knots. _‘Local Resident Dead After Tragic Hit and Run’_. From what little he could discern from glancing over the article, Dave’s car had been hit by a possibly intoxicated man driving a stolen vehicle, who then fled the scene on foot, and was never arrested. Kurt shivered at the unnerving coincidence, the parallels between this accident and his mother’s death. Kurt felt tears burning in his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. He was done with all of this.

Kurt gathered the papers together, not looking at them as he did, and stuffed them into the envelope. He reminded himself that this didn’t concern him. This part of his life was over. The monster was dead, and he was never coming back.

Kurt looked under the bed to see if he had left anything of importance under it. His eyes swept over the dark space and saw nothing but a few old condom wrappers (Kurt grimaced internally), and an old black bag on Sebastian’s side which Kurt had mistaken for his camera bag, but it was older and empty. Kurt shrugged. Sebastian could decide if he needed it or not.

Kurt packed, trying not to let his mind wander, but inevitably it did. Doubt started to creep in - a strange, twisted sense of familiarity. Why did he always pull himself up short and question the opportunity at having true happiness with Sebastian?

Memories of his relationship with Dave resurfaced, their “whirlwind” romance, so to speak. Looking back with fresh, unsullied eyes, Kurt could see things clearly. Blaine had cheated on him, and Kurt, devastated, had gone alone to a bar, looking for solace. Instead, he found Dave. Dave had promised so much – love, protection, a shoulder to cry on. Kurt, desperate for what he had just lost, followed Dave blindly.

Once he had given himself to Dave, Dave showed Kurt the monster he truly was.

Would this turn out the same way? Kurt couldn’t imagine all of Sebastian’s gentle kisses and tender touches being lies. He couldn’t see Sebastian turning into a monster. He didn’t doubt Sebastian’s love for him, but he wished someone, somewhere would give him a more definite sign that he was taking the right step, doing the right thing.

He wanted to talk to his mom.

Kurt wandered into his office, still lost in thought. He didn’t know what he would do about his job, or what he would tell the publishing house. He definitely wanted to finish his book. As for his other responsibilities, he didn’t know if the publishers would forward him manuscripts all the way to France, but he didn’t want to depend on Sebastian, or make assumptions about his money, no matter how many times Sebastian called it ‘theirs’. Undecided but unable to think of an equitable solution right now, he grabbed his manuscript, and figured he would take a few of the other envelopes as well.

He eyed the pile on his desk, which had inched higher and higher every day without his even noticing. From the middle of the pile to the very top, a large swath of brown envelopes caught his eye. Lately, he had taken to working in the living room instead of his office, either to be closer to Sebastian while he sat on the sofa reading a novel, or to answer the door quickly when Sebastian came by at two o’clock with his packages. Kurt would store the mail in his office, going as far as separating it into its various piles. After that, he thought little of it. So he never noticed a large amount of the exact same envelope accumulating on his desk.

He pulled out a pile of the envelopes and set them down on his blotter, fanning them out like playing cards. Kurt noticed the brown envelopes had only his name and the date on them, each and every one written in the exact same handwriting - no return address, no canceled postage. They were wedged in between the FedEx envelopes, so they had to have been delivered together. Curious, he picked them all out of the pile and laid them on his desk, organizing them by date from oldest to newest. He opened the first one with a single swipe of his letter opener. Inside he found a single page.

_Dear Kurt –_

_Today I met you, and you were a real bitch to me, but it didn’t seem to matter. You were incredibly beautiful, and I really wanted you._

Not the most eloquent Sebastian had ever been, but still, a lump formed inside Kurt’s throat. Kurt opened the next envelope in the line.

_Dear Kurt –_

_You have the most impeccable taste of any single human being I’ve ever known. You hate me, I know it, and I’ll probably never get the chance to make you fall for me, but I can’t help thinking of you as mine._

Kurt giggled. He didn’t know this, didn’t know that Sebastian had fallen for him, even when Kurt had acted so horribly toward him.

_Dear Kurt –_

_You went home with those guys, I know you did. I know I have no right to be upset or jealous, but I am. I don’t want those men to hurt you. For some reason, I want to protect you._

_Dear Kurt –_

_I think I pretty much killed whatever chance I had of ever being with you, and if that’s true, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life._

Kurt looked at the pages and noticed the frayed edges. They had been torn out of a journal…a journal Sebastian must have started writing when they first met.

_Dear Kurt –_

_Today you wore green, and I had to wonder…did you wear it for me? I’d like to think you did._

Kurt sighed, wondering if he should admit that he had.

_Dear Kurt –_

_Lying with you in my arms is like receiving a personal invitation to heaven._

_Dear Kurt –_

_What have I been doing my whole life? How have I been managing to make it through my days without you when I find I need you so much? I would like to think you need me, too._

_Dear Kurt –_

_I finished your book today, and I think… no, I know there will never be a day when I don’t completely admire you for your strength and your beauty._

_Dear Kurt –_

_There are no words to describe what making love to you is like…maybe spiritual? Amazing? Incredible?_

_No. Those words are nowhere near enough._

_Dear Kurt –_

_I think of a future with you…with us together…and I just want it to start now._

Kurt went through each envelope one by one, each page just a few sentences, each one an expression of how much Sebastian loved him. Kurt did some quick mental math and realized that Sebastian had sent him a love letter for every day that they knew each other…in some cases two.

Kurt picked up the last envelope, a little thicker and heavier than the rest. He opened it eagerly, reaching inside. It didn't have a letter in it. Instead, he pulled out a stack of photographs. He bit his lip, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he started to flip through them, slowly, reverently savoring each one.

The first one was of his house. It was a black and white photograph with just the flowers hand tinted. The photo overall was a little blurrier than Kurt remembered it, but he didn’t care.

A few of the next photos were simple stills of the flowers in the garden. Kurt couldn’t help but sigh. He didn’t remember seeing these before. Sebastian must have taken them when Kurt was preoccupied with his manuscript.

The next photo surprised Kurt. It was a photo of Kurt and Sebastian, standing at the door to his house, talking. Kurt furrowed his brow. In the picture, Sebastian was wearing his FedEx uniform, and the unusual angle must have come from the picture being taken around the corner of the house, maybe even using a cell phone. Kurt had no clue how Sebastian could have managed this picture.

The next photo stopped Kurt’s heart dead.

A similar picture, Kurt and Sebastian standing on the doorstep, laughing this time, with Sebastian’s face crossed out. An X drawn over his face in black Sharpie.

As Kurt flipped further, the pictures got worse. Sebastian’s face crossed out, then etched out, till the final picture was so violently defaced, it was almost torn through.

Kurt’s hands shook violently as he looked at the picture, his back sweating through the elegantly tailored shirt.

A tiny click sounded in the room, making the small hairs at the nape of Kurt’s neck stand on end.

Kurt closed his eyes and prayed. He didn’t want to turn around. He didn’t want to see.

“Hello, Kurt,” a nasally high-pitched voice sneered.

Kurt’s eyes went wide with shock.

The photos slipped from his hands, tumbling to the desk’s surface, and then sliding to the ground.

He turned slowly, his whole body cold, his palms sweating.

Behind him stood a familiar face, gaunt and drawn, the blue eyes bugged and wide, hands wrapped around the grip of a gun. Chapped, sickly pale lips split into a wide smile.

Kurt shook his head, trying to wish away the morbidly grotesque man by sheer will alone.

“Chandler?”

 

 


	25. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for stressful situations.

Sebastian looked over the storage agreement, reading every last word, all the fine print, before grabbing a pen to sign his name.

Across the counter, a young woman gazed at him with carnal interest. A flirty tongue licked blood red lips. A pair of artificial blue eyes beneath long, dark lashes watched him carefully, focusing particularly on Sebastian’s mouth as it worked silently around the words of the contract.

“I hope you find everything to your liking,” Silvia, the service girl at North Shore Storage purred, leaning far over the counter to address Sebastian as he signed the paperwork to release his car.

Sebastian smirked, rolling his eyes.

 _‘Just like Madeline all over again,’_ he thought. At least Madeline had turned out to be cool, with the added benefit of bringing Justice into his life. For a moment, Sebastian entertained a slightly troubled thought, wondering what his friends were up to. He could more than understand if Madeline had another client to pick up. As much as she seemed exclusively available for Kurt, Sebastian knew she must get sent on other runs. Still, the fact that neither she nor Justice had returned his texts or calls troubled him.

Sebastian rationally tried to attribute his overactive nerves to just residual anxiety over this stalker situation.

Sebastian forced himself to take a deep breath, giving himself permission to relax and calm down for the first time in months.

“Sir?” a smooth, alto voice interrupted his thoughts.

Sebastian realized he had let his mind wander in the midst of Silvia’s shameless flirting.

“Is everything…”

“She looked gorgeous,” Sebastian quickly purred back, not wanting to get into a conversation with this woman that delved any deeper than ‘Can I leave with my car now?’ He pushed the paperwork and the pen across the counter. Silvia picked the pages up with delicate, carefully manicured fingers. “I can’t wait to slip inside her and get her motor going.”

Silvia sucked in a sharp, surprised breath; her eyes snapping up to meet Sebastian’s. He winked not too subtly, spinning his key ring on his index finger, letting the keys fall into his palm and closing his fingers around them.

“So,” she continued, dropping the papers into a wire basket sitting beside her on the counter, “will you be picking up anyone special?”

“Oh, yeah,” Sebastian cooed. “Actually, I’m picking up the love of my life and heading off into the sunset, as it were.”

“Really?” Silvia’s face fell, her voice suddenly flat. “Lucky girlfriend.”

“Not girlfriend,” Sebastian corrected.

“Wife?” Silvia ventured in the same tight tone of voice.

Sebastian shook his head.

“Not my team,” he clarified.

Silvia’s eyes widened, sparkling with a glimmer of hope. Sebastian chuckled and rolled his eyes.

 _‘Women,’_ he thought, turning and walking back in the direction of the storage locker that held his car. _‘They sure do love their gays.’_

Sebastian watched as two mechanics in gunmetal grey overalls pushed his beautiful Porsche Cayman out of the metal box that housed it. Sebastian couldn’t help whistling low at this sight of it. With the exception of his gorgeous boyfriend, Sebastian had never laid eyes on anything quite so sexy in his life.

God, he loved his car.

He circled the vehicle one more time, making sure that nothing unexpected happened between the time when he arrived and first inspected the car to now. Satisfied that his baby was fine, he unlocked the driver’s side door and slipped inside. Sitting in the red leather seats gave Sebastian an immediate hard-on. He sighed, settling back further into the seat, running his fingertips over the steering wheel.

“Oh, God,” he breathed, imagining speeding down the highway with Kurt by his side, wind whipping through his chestnut-brown hair, head thrown back, eyes squeezed shut as Sebastian ran his hand up Kurt’s leg to his crotch, palming over Kurt’s cock through his jeans, listening to his tiny gasps and squeals of pleasure over the murmur of the engine...

Yup. They needed to find a way of having sex in this car.

 

* * *

 

“Chandler,” Kurt repeated, his brain trying to make sense of the person standing in front of him, because this man wasn’t Chandler, not the way Kurt remembered him. The young, fresh faced intern, who followed Kurt around like a puppy dog, making moon eyes in his direction all of the time, fetching his coffee without being asked, talking non-stop about fashion and musical theater, had turned into a strange, twisted specter. Chandler’s gaunt body showed every thin bone, every knobby joint. His pale skin stretched too tightly over a sallow face and sunken eyes, giving him an anorexic appearance; split, almost grey lips barely hid bleeding gums.

Chandler’s eyes frightened Kurt most. Dull, cyan irises circled black, blown pupils, without a hint of sanity at all in their abysmal depths. Eyes locked on Chandler, unable to look away, Kurt’s entire body froze.

He barely looked human anymore.

“Kurt, Kurt, Kurt,” Chandler tutted, shaking his head and smiling superiorly, “I am very disappointed in you.” Chandler took a step forward and Kurt instinctively took a step back, crowding against his desk in an effort to stay as far from the other man as he could. Chandler crossed one thin arm over his chest, resting the elbow of his other arm on it, cradling the gun awkwardly against his cheek. “Do you know just how long I’ve been looking for you? I have been absolutely everywhere. Even your dad didn’t know where you were. Do you know how worried you’ve made that sweet man? He looked just awful when I saw him.”

A tremor of fear shook Kurt’s body uncontrollably at the mention of his father. Chandler had traveled to Lima to visit his dad. For three years, Kurt hadn’t seen his dad, afraid that Dave might hurt him, use him to punish Kurt for running away. He had suffered needlessly without his dad in his life. He despaired quietly for all that time gone, wasted, irretrievable.

Dave had died so long ago.

Chandler was the new evil.

Chandler paused to let the gravity of his words settle on Kurt. Kurt took a deep breath, forcing his racing heart to slow down, trying hard not to give over to panic and fear, hoping to stall whatever Chandler had planned until Sebastian came back. Kurt didn’t exactly know what Sebastian would do against an obviously unhinged Chandler carrying a gun.

Kurt looked Chandler over from head to toe, taking in this new image of the man he used to know. Kurt’s brow knit together at Chandler’s choice of apparel – a poorly fitted but tailored suit in rich brocade over a silky, silver shirt. The outfit struck a chord, triggered a distant but intense memory, more a feeling than an actual recollection.

“What are you wearing?” Kurt asked quietly.

 “Don’t you just love it?” Chandler looked down at himself, face glowing. He spread his arms out wide so Kurt could get a better view. “Of course, you do. It’s one of yours.”

Recognition started seeping slowly into Kurt’s mind, bringing up images of his younger self dressed in that same suit, head held high as he walked the halls of Vogue. It was one of his favorite original designs – the fit perfect, the fabric choice inspired. It was a vivid part of his past that he kept locked away in his tomb of ghosts; in the wooden, free-standing, vintage closet where he had meticulously hung and stored all of his old, carefully crafted clothes. Chandler carried the stench of stale air that still clung to it.

Kurt knew now for sure that Chandler had spent the night in his house, and that he had somehow managed to hide away while Sebastian conducted his search. Kurt felt the sting of bile rising in this throat. He swallowed hard, not wanting to be sick when what he really needed was to stay calm.

Kurt tried to focus hard on Chandler’s eyes to keep him locked into the now and the dangerous situation he was currently in, but something else bothered him, something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Chandler seemed unnaturally thin, as if he hadn’t eaten a decent meal in weeks. His eyes looked dull, the whites yellowed and jaundiced. Apart from all of that, there were slight changes to his appearance, tiny tweaks. Chandler didn’t just look sickly, he looked fabricated.

Kurt’s gaze traveled from Chandler’s unblinking eyes up to his hair, a deeper shade than Kurt remembered it.

That’s when the tumblers clicked into place. He almost couldn’t help himself from doubling over and being sick.

“Chandler?” Kurt’s efforts to keep his voice strong and steady started to fail, slipping beyond his ability to control. Kurt really didn’t want to ask, but something deep within compelled him. He bit his lip hard. “Did you…maybe…have some work done?” Kurt’s hand moved on its own, gesturing around his face, his cheeks, over his hair.

Chandler smiled, ducking his head bashfully.

“I was afraid you wouldn’t notice,” he murmured, shifting on his feet like an embarrassed child given too much praise. “Yeah, I had my cheeks lifted, my nose done, and my chin shaved. Then, of course, there’s the hair….”

Kurt took another look at Chandler’s upswept hair. The shade used to be a mousy, dirty blonde. It was now a chestnut color.

Much like his own.

Kurt gasped, taking it all in – his cheeks, his chin, his hair, the clothes…

“You’re trying to look like me.”

Chandler rolled his eyes, as if Kurt had finally stumbled upon the conclusion that Chandler had been waiting patiently for.

“Guilty!” he chirped, spinning around so that Kurt could get the full effect. When Kurt’s eyes met Chandler’s again, Kurt cursed to himself quietly, feeling he had missed an opportunity in the small timeframe when Chandler’s back was turned.

“I want us to be a matching set. I want people to see us together and think, ‘You see those two? They really belong together’.”

Kurt’s eyes moved from Chandler’s face to the gun in his hand, which he waved nonchalantly in the air with his flamboyant gestures. Chandler caught the shift in Kurt’s expression and followed the movement of his eyes.

“Oh…this. I’m sorry about the gun.” Chandler looked at the weapon with a sincere expression of regret on his face as he turned his attention momentarily toward it. “I know how you feel about them after…you know.”

Kurt swallowed.

“But, you know, it isn’t me you should be angry at. It’s him,” Chandler growled, his tone shifting so quickly that Kurt jumped.

“Him, who?”

“That buffoon you call a boyfriend.” Chandler’s voice dropped to a whisper. “He had it, Kurt. Hid it right under your bed. He was going to use it to control you, Kurt. Just like Dave did.”

“Chandler…” Kurt started slowly, hoping to make the man see reason. “He probably got it to protect me.”

“Protect you!?” Chandler’s voice soared to a screech. “ _I’m_ here to protect you. He…he just wants to make you do things! Sick things…the sick kinds of things that Dave made you do!” Chandler pressed in on Kurt, eyes wide, his face more twisted and grotesque the closer he got. “I’m the only one who loves you, Kurt! I would never try to control you!”

Chandler’s hand shook, the gun rattling in his grip.

“What do you think you’re doing right now!?” Kurt cried. He knew it probably wasn’t a good idea to let his emotions get the best of him while Chandler had a gun pointed at his chest, flailing it willy-nilly while he spoke, but he couldn’t help himself.

“This,” Chandler said, gesturing with the gun, “is a necessary evil. I didn’t know how I was going to make you listen to me, but when I saw this…” Chandler looked at the gun almost lovingly, “I knew this was the only way. I figured you wouldn’t talk to me otherwise. And we need to talk, Kurt. We need to have a long, hard talk about the future.”

Kurt’s breath hitched in his throat.

“Wh-what about the future?”

Kurt forced a smile, trying to sound casual and breezy. He wanted to keep Chandler talking while he tried to think of a plan to get away. Chandler had Kurt effectively trapped against his desk. Kurt would have to physically tackle Chandler to get away.

In Kurt’s frazzled mind, he called out to Sebastian, tried to reach him with his thoughts, as ridiculous as it seemed. Kurt believed deep in his heart that everything would be fine as soon as Sebastian arrived. Sebastian would get Kurt away from Chandler somehow. Sebastian would find a way.

Chandler rolled his eyes and giggled, acting as if Kurt was being intentionally funny.

“ _Our_ future, silly.” Chandler’s voice rose an octave, taking on a sing-song quality. “You and me, getting away from here and making a life together…after we get married.”

Kurt’s jaw dropped, the color draining from his cheeks. Chandler seemed not to notice. He motioned to Kurt with the barrel of the gun.

“Let’s not spend all day standing up here,” Chandler said. “Let’s go downstairs, have a cup of coffee, relax on the couch, get caught up…and wait for your boyfriend to come back.”

 

* * *

 

Sebastian sped down the highway, trying to enjoy driving his car after all this time, but he couldn’t lose himself in the purr of the engine and the scintillating smell of the leather seats the way he used to. He felt overwhelmingly uneasy and he hated it. He shouldn’t have to question their newfound peace. Sebastian didn’t even stop to deposit his check. He could do that later…or tomorrow when they touched down in France. His mind wouldn’t rest until he had Kurt in the seat beside him and they were on their way to the airport.

Sebastian pulled up in front of Kurt’s house and killed the engine. He sat for a moment and stared at the house. Last night it had seemed ominous, haunted. Now, looking at the canary yellow house with its drawn curtains and locked front door, something about it seemed too still, almost dead. Sebastian looked up at the windows, expecting to see Kurt bustling about, gathering his things, or maybe looking down to the street, waiting for Sebastian to return. Sebastian waited, hoping Kurt would peek out the window and wave. The more time that dripped by with no sign of Kurt, the more alarmed Sebastian became.

Sebastian tried focusing on the positives to shove down his dread – his and Kurt’s bright future with no hitches and no obstacles standing in their way.

Sebastian hopped out of the driver’s seat, rounding the car and stepping onto the sidewalk.

Still no Kurt - not at the door, not at the window, nowhere that Sebastian could see.

Sebastian’s heart fluttered anxiously in his chest, but he tried to stay upbeat, skipping down the walk to the front door.

So close, he thought, reaching for the doorknob. They were both so close.

 

* * *

The gentle lilt of chimes mocked Kurt as they played, their carefree music echoing throughout the house.

Kurt’s eyes immediately snapped to meet Chandler’s gaze, which had gone from something close to fond affection, morphing into a glare, frighteningly hard and murderous, trained at the front door.

“Gorgeous ? Get your beautiful ass out here so we can go!”

Something in Sebastian’s voice, muffled through the door, sounded apprehensive. Kurt fought to keep his expression neutral, but inside his brain, wheels were still turning, still trying to concoct an escape. Now a brand new factor had come into play.

Sebastian sounded scared.

He knew something was wrong.

Kurt didn’t know how Sebastian knew, but he didn’t question it. Maybe Kurt could find a way to use that to his advantage.

On Chandler’s face a wicked smile grew. He stood, gun still trained on Kurt as he walked toward the door.

Kurt panicked. He ran through his options, each one worse than the one before it. If he yelled out to Sebastian, Chandler would kill him. Though Kurt couldn’t be certain that Chandler wouldn’t just shoot Sebastian the minute he opened the door. There was no way out, nowhere Kurt could run. Could he cause a distraction and yell at Sebastian to run away? Sebastian probably wouldn’t leave him, knowing he was in danger.

Logic and reason dissolved into a silent chant of “shitshitshitshitshit!” with Sebastian’s life hanging in the balance. Holding out for hope and finding none, he leapt off the sofa and blocked Chandler’s way, the gun settling inches from his throat. Chandler’s smile turned to a scowl. Kurt held his breath and waited, sure Chandler would shoot him right then and there, regardless of his intentions. When he didn’t, Kurt gave himself permission to breathe again.

“Don’t kill him, Chandler,” Kurt pleaded, whispering harshly so Sebastian wouldn’t overhear. “Please…please don’t.”

“Oh, Kurt,” Chandler cooed, his tone condescending, “I’m doing this for you…for us…so we can be together.”

“B-but, you don’t have to,” Kurt begged, tears in his eyes. “I’ll get rid of him.”

Chandler sneered, not even pretending to think it over.

“Honestly, I’d rather just shoot him.”

Chandler tried to push Kurt behind him.

Kurt’s knees went weak.

“B-but if you shoot him, the neighbors will hear.”

Chandler stopped, shifting his eyes to the ceiling while he thought. Kurt thought Chandler might actually reconsider.

He shrugged.

“You’re neighbors don’t ever seem too responsive. I mean, it took me close to an hour to completely destroy your garden, and no one did a thing.”

Kurt’s heart sank. Chandler was right about his neighbors. Everyone pretty much kept to themselves. But had anyone seen, just one call to the police could have ended this.

“B-but do you want to take that chance?”

Chandler stopped again.

"Please," Kurt begged, "you want me, you have me, okay? I’ll go with you willingly. I’ll do anything you want.” Kurt’s mouth went dry as he spoke, imagining what ‘anything’ might entail. “But, if you hurt him, I'll never give myself to you.” Kurt’s lip quivered in the face of the growing heat in Chandler’s eyes. “You’ll have to fight me every day. A-and maybe you’ll get mad enough to hurt me, but I won’t care.” Kurt forced his steely gaze to lock with Chandler’s eyes. “I will make your life fucking miserable."

Chandler’s lip curled, but Kurt held hard to his gaze, refusing to back down.

“Kurt?”

Sebastian’s voice sounded weak, but knowing he was there anchored Kurt and gave him strength. He wanted to believe that nothing was impossible if the two of them were together. They could get out of this. He just needed to figure out a way to make this work.

“Do it,” Chandler said, his voice transforming to a dangerous snarl. “But watch yourself, Kurt.” Chandler leaned in, his lips just a breath away from Kurt’s. “I want you Kurt. You’re already mine…and Sebastian…means nothing to me.”

Kurt bit his tongue to keep from crying out, turning his back to Chandler, his body a live wire, tense and coiled with the idea of being blind to Chandler. The man walked close behind him, gun pressed against his back. Kurt had five steps from the end of Chandler’s gun to the front door to come up with a plan. His eyes darted around the room, over the furniture, Sebastian’s book on the floor, along the walls, and then he saw it. As he passed by, he plucked the frame from its spot on the wall. Chandler grabbed Kurt’s shoulder, digging his fingers in with a stronger grip than Kurt would have imagined, but he didn’t let the pain show on his face. He showed the framed piece to Chandler who looked it over, then rolled his eyes, gesturing Kurt to continue walking toward the door.

Kurt put his hand on the knob, resting his fingertips over the smooth metal, warring with actually opening the door or doing something a bit more suicidal, like yelling for Sebastian to run. Kurt took a deep breath and pulled open the door, just a bit so that Sebastian wouldn’t see Chandler standing behind him.

He didn’t want to give Chandler a clear shot.

“Hey, gorgeous!” Sebastian said, sounding so euphoric and relieved that it broke Kurt’s heart. “I got the car…” Sebastian moved aside to show Kurt the pristine Porsche parked at the curb. “So, let’s get a move on.”

Kurt sighed.

“I’m not going with you,” Kurt said quietly.

Sebastian blinked a few times, not immediately registering what Kurt said.

“What?”

Sebastian reached out for Kurt, but Kurt backed away, nudging the gun into his spine.

Sebastian’s smile fell.

“Kurt…gorgeous…what…”

“I can’t do this anymore,” Kurt said swiftly, catching Sebastian off-guard. “I thought it over… while you were picking up your car, and I just…I just can’t…”

“Kurt…” Sebastian tried to sound soothing and calm while internally his soul shattered.

A sudden idea struck Kurt, and as much as it broke his heart, he continued.

"Here, Bastian…" Kurt sniffled, handing the picture frame over to Sebastian. Sebastian furrowed his brow, confused at Kurt’s use of Justice’s nickname for him. "I think it would be best if we just cut all ties." Kurt made a slicing motion across his neck for emphasis. Sebastian winced at the violent gesture.

"But, I..." Sebastian tried to think of anything he could say that would change Kurt's mind.

Kurt put a hand up to stop him.

"Bastian," Kurt repeated again, tears pouring down his cheeks, "I want you to listen to me carefully because I'm only going to say this once..." The tone of Kurt's voice was resolved, but his eyes told another story.

Sebastian listened closely to the story of Kurt's eyes.

"There was only _one man_ for me," Kurt said slowly, "and you are not him."

Sebastian nodded, numb as the words struck him, piercing him deep.

"Now..." Kurt pulled himself together, his ice queen persona from so long ago fixing itself firmly back into place. " _Go_ _call_ one of your other hook-ups to _help_ you get over this. But you need to leave... _now_..."

Kurt slammed the door in Sebastian's face.

Sebastian felt himself break, fall apart from the inside out. He turned away from the door, clutching the picture frame as he walked slowly away, each step like a trudge through quicksand. He wished it was, then it could pull him under and all of this would just spiral away - the last few months and being so in love.

What went wrong? How did it all vanish so quickly?

Sebastian felt lost. What had just happened? Only a few hours ago, they were planning out their whole life together. Now, Kurt had dismissed him, in a painful and surreal way.

Sebastian replayed the words that Kurt had flung at him over and over in his head.

They hurt. If he thought about them for too long, they would probably kill him.

But something about them didn't make any sense.

 _Bastian_. Kurt had never called him by a nickname before. He even made a point of calling him Sebastian. Coming from Kurt’s lips, it sounded so wrong.

That was just it. Something _was_ wrong. He had felt it when he first arrived, when he walked up the concrete path and Kurt hadn’t been there to greet him, hadn’t even looked out the window.

Kurt was a smart man – maybe the smartest Sebastian had ever met. Could Kurt be trying to send him a message? And if Kurt _was_ trying to send him a message, what was it? How would he know?

Sebastian thought through every conversation he and Kurt had ever had, all the things they talked about, all the times they spent together. He thought about the nights he spent sitting at Kurt’s feet in his office while Kurt edited his manuscript, talking with Sebastian from time to time about different aspects of his job, what he looks for in a submission, what makes a mystery a good read.

Kurt had said he loved the stories where the author hid clues in plain sight.

_'Clues hiding in plain sight.'_

Sebastian thought of the rest. Kurt’s strange emphasis on certain words. That odd slicing movement he made when he said they should 'cut all ties'. The fear in Kurt’s eyes. The way he stopped short when he tried to back away.

Sebastian climbed in his Porsche, giving all appearances of getting ready to leave in order to give himself time to figure things out.

He isolated the over emphasized words in his mind, trying to see them in his head.

_One man...go call...help...now…_

Sebastian looked at the forgotten frame in his hands, eyes fixing on the words he knew by heart, words he had memorized and recited to Kurt during the few nights when the nightmares cropped up unexpectedly.

_The Song of Ruth._

Kurt’s prayer to his mother…his call for help.

Sebastian felt a sensation like cold needles prickle beneath his skin. He turned slowly to look back at the house.

His phone buzzed in his pocket. Sebastian fumbled to get it. A number he didn’t recognize flashed on the screen. He debated letting it go to voicemail, but a feeling he couldn’t ignore told him he should answer it.

“Bastian!” Justice’s deep voice sounded. “What the hell is going on, man?”

“I…I don’t know what…”

“Me and Maddy got a call this morning to come pick you guys up at a business park all the way on the north side of town,” he explained. “We get there, but there’s nobody…and I mean, nobody, you know?”

Sebastian’s eyes fixed on the house while he listened to Justice speak, hoping for a sign, what to do, how to help Kurt.

“We get out of the car and go in the first building we see to check the address, and when we get out, the tires are slashed and someone took Madeline’s phone from the front seat.”

Sebastian’s eyes burned with rage. They were set up. They were all set up. And now the bastard, whoever the fuck he was, had Kurt.

_Son of a bitch!_

“Sebastian…” Justice’s voice sounded soft and anxious. “Sebastian, what’s wrong?”

Sebastian’s voice was dark and quiet as he confirmed his own fears, saying them out loud, convincing himself beyond a shadow of a doubt that they were real.

“There’s a man in Kurt's house...and he’s going to kill Kurt.”

 

 


	26. Chapter 24

**A/N:** _Okay, a lot of talk here. This was a rough chapter to write. It literally took me two days and a crap load of editing. warnings for stressful situations and violence. A little more graphic than usual, but nothing excessively gruesome. There is, however, a section that may be uncomfortable to more sensitive readers. If you don't want to try, then stop reading at the first bolded word (Sebastian) and start again at the next bolded word (Chandler). Otherwise, please bear with me...getting this far in requires that you find out how this all ends._

_Mrrr mrrr_

"Shit! Shit! Motherfucking shit!" Sebastian exclaimed, pulling the phone away from his ear to look at the screen in disgust.

"Bastian!" Justice yelled. "Bastian, what's wrong?"

"Justice…" Sebastian heard Madeline's worried voice trembling in the background.

"It's my phone battery," Sebastian said. "It's seriously dying."

Sebastian had heard the phone buzzing, alerting him off and on for a while now, but charging his phone battery didn't seem important in light of everything else going on. Looking at the indicator on the screen, this last alert wasn't just a friendly reminder. It was more like a death toll.

"Listen to me, man," Justice said firmly, commanding Sebastian to comply. "Call the police now! Maddy and I will get a new car and be there as soon as possible."

"I will," Sebastian said, but Justice had already hung up.

Sebastian looked back at the house and saw nothing. No movement in the windows, no lights going on or off. Just the dead house with his boyfriend trapped inside.

Sebastian quickly dialed for help. An operator pick up right away.

"9-1-1, what's your emergency?" a severe sounding woman answered.

_Mrrr mrrr_

Sebastian knew that the cell phone battery's seconds were numbered at this point, the battery symbol blinking red, and the alerts buzzing within minutes of each other. He tried to ramble off quickly and clearly the information he thought most important for the operator to hear.

"I'm at 254 Courtney Way. It's a yellow town house with a black iron fence around it. A man is threatening to kill my boyfriend…"

_Mrrr mrrr_

The line went dead. The screen went dark. The call disconnected. The 9-1-1 operator gone.

"Shit!" Sebastian screamed, tossing the phone to the floor. "Worthless fucking piece of cheap…"

He dropped his head to the steering wheel, needing to find his center.

 _Kurt_ was his center.

Shit!

He tried to calm down and think.

Sebastian tried to devise a plan. He needed to find a way into the house and do what? Rescue Kurt? Stall for time in the hopes the police might actually come? Sebastian didn't know for sure that the man in the house had a weapon, but he still worked on what he felt was the only plausible theory - that the stalker was a professional hired by Eli to kill Kurt, so he must have a gun or something. But if Eli wanted Kurt dead, why hadn't the man killed him yet?

Sebastian's head ached, spinning in circles with all the possibilities. So many different factors sprouted up from every conceivable angle, and he became overwhelmed.

He took a deep breath and cycled back to the beginning, the only question that mattered right now if he had any hope of helping Kurt.

How could he get into the house?

Sebastian didn't know how the intruder had gotten in. Even without the alarm system activated, they had basically turned the place into a fortress. Sebastian could circle around the house to find the point of entry, but what if the stalker noticed him? What if he shot at him through the window or hurt Kurt in retaliation?

Sebastian beat his head against the steering wheel, frustration and anger welling up uselessly in his chest, his heart racing, unable to settle down. Sebastian sighed, his eyes browsing along the front seat, the foot well, at the digital display on the dash, trying to find an answer. His eyes glanced at the bright glowing numbers, displaying the time. He recited the numbers in his head, clearing his mind, trying to focus his thoughts on the repetition, turning it into a chant, making it into a mantra.

His eyes snapped open wide. A way into the house suddenly occurred to him. As much as it killed him, he would need to park out of sight and wait.

Sebastian forced himself not to take one last look at the house, or he'd never be able to leave.

"I'm sorry, Kurt," he said softly. "I love you. Stay safe for me. I'll come back for you."

Sebastian reluctantly turned on the ignition and drove down the street, praying for strength since everything that gave him strength was trapped in that little yellow house…and he was leaving it behind.

* * *

Kurt heard Sebastian's Porsche come to life and take off down the street, his heart growing cold and withering the farther away it sounded, until the purr of the engine disappeared entirely.

His heart disintegrated, leaving a gaping hole in his chest. He had never felt so empty before, so numb. When his mom had died, every inch of him raged with desolation and despair. But now, there was nothing to feel. Every emotion he had, all his passion for life, had just driven away in a seventy-thousand dollar car.

When he spoke to Sebastian, Kurt thought for certain that he would catch on, sure he could tell by the look in Sebastian's eyes that on some level he understood the message.

But he hadn't, and now Sebastian was gone for good.

Kurt might as well let Chandler have him. His life was officially over now anyway.

"Well done," Chandler said, stepping away from the window and peering with pride at Kurt's crestfallen face. "I didn't think you had it in you."

Chandler sauntered back to the sofa, taking the seat beside Kurt. "And talk about that ignoramus you call a boyfriend. He didn't even fight for you." Chandler shook his head in amusement. "He just ran away with his tail between his legs."

Kurt cringed at the closeness. He cringed at the feeling of the man sitting next to him, whose body emitted no comfort, no warmth. Most of all he cringed at Chandler's true and hateful words. Sebastian hadn't fought, didn't argue. He accepted what Kurt said with no objection what-so-ever. He left with barely a word. In the end, it didn't matter, the last few months, none of it.

All of Sebastian's pretty words, all of his promises of love, they were all a lie.

What Kurt said to Sebastian had been purposefully cruel. It needed to be for Sebastian to listen, and for Chandler to believe.

But he didn't think Sebastian would simply cave.

He didn't imagine he would leave without a final 'I love you'.

Now Kurt was back in the nightmare alone.

Chandler watched the hurt and despair play over Kurt's face, melting into a resigned and cold acceptance. He sighed, supremely satisfied with himself.

"Well, now that _that's_ over…"

Chandler put an arm around Kurt's shoulders and pulled him jarringly close, pressing a small kiss to Kurt's cheek. Kurt could vaguely sense that Chandler meant the kiss to be sweet, but Chandler's dry lips scratched his cheek, his bony wrist bit into Kurt's skin, and Kurt jumped, pulling away and vaulting to the opposite end of the vintage sofa.

Chandler's eyes glowed, but with his smile plastered firmly in place, he inched across the sofa to where Kurt huddled against the arm on the opposite end. He grabbed Kurt's wrist, holding it locked in his skeletal hand. He yanked Kurt closer to him, positioning the gun against Kurt's chest.

"You made a promise, Kurt," Chandler sneered between clenched teeth, "not to fight and not to run away as long as I allowed that troglodyte to live." Chandler ran his nose over the column of Kurt's neck as Kurt strained to lean away, feeling to hollow barrel of the gun press over the spot where his heart used to be. "Now, if you don't live up to your end of the bargain, you're going to make me think that you don't really like me."

Kurt swallowed more bile as he tried to think up an appropriate response, realizing with regret that the impulse to vomit was becoming less and less easy to contain.

"I-it's not that…" Kurt stuttered, biting down on his tongue in an effort to control its shaking. "I-it's just that I'm nervous." Chandler moved in closer, rubbing their noses together, the blissful look on his narrow face creepy and unsettling. "I-I'm not really good at this… stuff…"

Chandler's eyes widened.

"Oh, yes you are," he whispered. He let go of Kurt's wrist. Kurt pulled it tight against him protectively, rubbing the sore skin, feeling the slightly raised scar beneath the pad of his thumb, the urge to cry hitting him hard. Chandler ran his fingertips lovingly over Kurt's lips, traveling down his cheek, tracing around each eye.

"I've seen you…" Chandler continued, kissing lightly along Kurt's skin. Kurt wanted to squeeze his eyes shut, block Chandler out, but he couldn't risk it. He couldn't risk Chandler thinking he wasn't listening, but he also couldn't risk abandoning himself to the nightmare. "Right here…on this couch…" Chandler punctuated his words with more kisses along Kurt's jaw. "From that window…"

Chandler gestured to the window beside the door with his gun hand.

"I saw you on this very sofa…spreading your legs like a whore for that man…and the awful things he used to make you do…"

Kurt swallowed hard. He remembered for a moment all of the times Sebastian had gone down on him on that sofa – the smooth slide of Sebastian's lips over his skin, his soft kisses; the way Sebastian touched Kurt intimately, always knowing exactly where and how much. To think of Chandler peeking through the window, watching them, tainted those beautiful memories. Kurt didn't know if he could bring himself to think about them ever again, not with the pain of Sebastian's loss, and the thought of Chandler's horrible, scheming, soulless eyes staring at them.

"But I won't make you do anything like that," Chandler tried to reassure Kurt.

"No?" Kurt asked, trying to sound more conversational than sick.

"Of course not, Kurt," Chandler cooed. "Never. We'll make love for sure…but that's all…"

The trembling started in the empty space that held his heart. His breathing sped furiously, fighting against his ribs to break apart his chest. His hands where he clutched them together near his throat shook, banging against his collarbone. His knees knocked together even though his thighs screamed with his efforts to keep them still.

Chandler's hand rested on Kurt's knee as he peppered Kurt's face with tiny, empty kisses, devoid of heat or emotion. Kurt saw the rest of his life flash before his eyes. A prisoner again, taken, owned, another life gone.

Kurt wondered if he could simply will himself to die.

Another symphony of lilting chimes rang throughout the house.

Kurt felt Chandler suck in his breath. He felt the quivering of Chandler's lips against his skin as he tried to keep the quickly snapping threads of his sanity in check.

"Who is that?" Chandler whispered. Kurt shook his head slightly, trying to remain neutral, but inside his heart leapt, negotiating with any and every all-seeing god that might possibly exist to please let that be Sebastian at the door. Promises were made, a firstborn auctioned off, a soul offered for sale.

"FedEx," a heavily accented voice called through the door. "I have a package for Mr. Kurt Hummel."

Chandler huffed in frustration, looking around for a clock.

"Fuck!" he barked harshly. "I forgot about that." Kurt looked past Chandler to the clock on the wall.

2:03.

The doorbell rang again, more chimes sounded, and Kurt watched Chandler's head spin around like mad, looking for some way to stop the din.

"Go away!" Chandler screeched.

Silence met his increasingly psychotic episode.

"Um…Mr. Hummel?" the voice asked.

"No, this isn't Mr. Hummel." Chandler launched himself off the sofa, marching straight for the door, gun raised.

"Well, I need to deliver these packages to Mr. Hummel."

"Just…just leave them by the door," Chandler barked, his voice getting higher.

"I can't, sir," a tired voice responded. "Mr. Hummel has to sign for them."

Chandler glared at the door, and Kurt was scared that he was contemplating shooting the poor FedEx guy straight through the wooden barrier.

Another idea came to Kurt, growing from an every sprouting garden of tragic endings, but this one might just work.

"Chandler," he whispered. Kurt cringed when Chandler didn't turn to look his way. "Chandler! I need to sign for those packages."

Chandler turned and shot him an incredulous look.

"How much of a fool do you think I am?"

Kurt risked standing, knowing his legs threatened to buckle beneath him, but he had to try and look confident, had to make Chandler trust him.

"Chandler, these FedEx drivers have been bringing me my packages for three years. They all know me." Kurt approached Chandler slowly as he talked, walking carefully on his tiptoes as if he were crossing a bridge that might just collapse any minute. "They know I live with Sebastian. They know I don't allow anyone else in my house..." Kurt paused, ready to dive into the pool with no water.

"They know I was being stalked…"

Kurt stopped for a moment, gauging Chandler's reaction. He showed no feeling, no emotion towards the idea that he had just been called a stalker. Encouraged by Chandler's silence, Kurt continued.

"He heard your voice," Kurt said, pointing at the door. "If you turn him away, he'll know something's up. He'll call the police."

"You know him?" Chandler asked suspiciously.

"Yes," Kurt hissed, almost excitedly, seeing an opportunity in sight.

"Then what's his name?"

Kurt froze for a second. He knew Sebastian had mentioned this man's name. Heck, he'd even introduced himself once or twice. Larry, Lucas, Luther, something starting with 'L'…

"Louis." Kurt tried not to sound like he had just racked every recent memory he had for a name.

Chandler's lips twisted, ready to pounce if Kurt was lying to him.

"Louis?" Chandler called.

"Yes, sir?" the older man's voice answered immediately back.

Chandler stepped away from the door, motioning Kurt over once again.

Kurt was nearing the end of his rope, running out of ideas. Kurt didn't want this innocent man getting hurt, but he still guiltily contemplated pushing him aside and running for his life. In any case, this man was Kurt's last chance. He thought that maybe he could write out a note on the digital signing pad, something that would tell Louis that he was in trouble and to please call for help. Kurt was terrified. He had just gotten his life back, and now Chandler was threatening to take it away again…at gunpoint. Sure Kurt could plow this man over and go running for his life, but what was he really willing to sacrifice in order to save himself?

If he put this man in danger, if he let Louis die for him, there would be nothing left of himself to rescue.

Kurt took another deep, steadying breath and opened the door.

The older man dressed in the familiar FedEx uniform looked Kurt over with barely a flick of his tired eyes. He handed Kurt a stack of envelopes, waiting for Kurt to take them and put them down before handing over the digital pad.

Kurt looked at the grey screen and thought for a moment – what should he write? Keep it short and simple. He knew the screen only had enough room for his name. What message could fit in such a small space? He decided to go with 'Help! Call police! Man with gun!' He would have to write quickly and neatly, and pray it all fit.

Kurt set the stylus down on the screen and started to write, but he saw nothing appear. He lifted the stylus and tried again, putting it down on the screen to write the message, but nothing. In a panic, he scratched the stylus across the screen, but still nothing happened. No words, no scribbling, nothing.

"Oh, sorry," Louis said. The picture of clueless and calm, he took the pad back and looked it over. "This thing's been giving me grief all day long."

"Is there any way you can fix it?" Kurt asked, feeling his urge to flee building, trying to quash it for the sake of the man in front of him.

"No, no, that's alright." Louis took the pad back and pressed some numbers in the key pad. "I'll just code this delivery manually."

Kurt couldn't believe his luck…or lack of it. He could literally laugh out loud at this shit storm that had surrounded him. He was going to die here…in this house. He was so close to being free, and now he had nothing. Actually, that wasn't true. He had a life with Chandler to look forward to - or at least a life of trying to get away from Chandler. What had he done to deserve this, he wondered. He donated to charities, didn't kick children, respected the elderly. What heinous thing had he done to deserve being treated like this?

Not believing in God?

Or maybe falling in love, and fooling himself he was worthy of happiness?

Whatever grievous error he had committed, he had the feeling he would be paying for it for a lifetime before he ever found out what exactly he had done.

Louis raised his eyes to Kurt when he finished punching in the numbers.

"All finished," Louis said, giving Kurt an awkward, one finger wave. "It was good seeing you, Mr. Hummel. Have a nice afternoon."

Kurt could have cried when he saw Louis turn and make his way back down the walk to the little box truck that awaited him at the curb.

Kurt shut the door slowly, not eager to return to the rest of his life.

A sudden crack split the air, and Kurt felt himself fly into the wall, an intense pain blooming from his shoulder as he landed on the floor.

Somewhere behind him, Chandler wailed angrily.

* * *

Sebastian had never been a huge fan of waiting for anything, no matter what the reason, but without knowing it, he had waited his entire life to fall in love with a man like Kurt, and he would be damned if he gave him up without a fight. Sebastian geared up for the showdown of his life while he sat in his Porsche parked around the corner from Kurt's little yellow house, gripping the steering wheel hard to keep himself together. But waiting for the right time to enact his plan tortured him. His mind played out all sorts of horrific scenarios – brutal rape and torture Kurt could be enduring while he sat and, for the moment, did nothing.

All the while he berated himself for leaving Kurt, for not staying by his side, for not packing things up with him. He could have stayed. He could have waited. There was no reason for him to leave.

Sebastian struggled to ease his mind, but the more time passed by, the more he hated himself for his stupidity.

Sebastian fidgeted tirelessly in his seat, constantly looking around, jumping at every tiny sound. He couldn't see the house from where the Porsche sat. He couldn't look through the windows. He didn't know if Kurt was still alive or dead.

Sebastian had to trust in his heart that Kurt was okay…not fine, just okay. Kurt was strong. He was a warrior, a survivor. Sebastian would stop at nothing to make sure Kurt was free. He had resolved to two things – either he and Kurt walked away from this hand in hand, or Kurt walked away alone. There were no other options.

_'You jump, I jump…right?'_

There wasn't anywhere in heaven or on earth that Kurt could go that Sebastian wouldn't find a way to follow.

The familiar sound of a slow moving truck broke him from his thoughts. He never thought he would see the day when he was happy to set eyes on that God awful thing. Right on time the FedEx truck, driven by Louis, arrived at one of the other daily deliveries in the neighborhood – 1975 Elmhurst Ave. Sebastian got out of his car as Louis ran up to the single family dwelling and waited by the truck for Louis, nervous for his return. Sebastian was surprised to see the older man's eyes light up when they fell on him, and any fear that Sebastian had about bad blood between them faded.

Sebastian laid out his plan quickly, and Louis, who had always been fond of Kurt, even before Sebastian entered their lives, eagerly agreed.

Sebastian hid in the cargo area of the truck with the packages as Louis pulled up in front of Kurt's house. Sebastian crept low through the garden and hid around the corner of the house, in a spot where Sebastian imagined neither Kurt nor the stalker would be able to see him unless they physically stepped out and looked around.

Louis proved to be more of a master at acting calm in the face of a crisis than Sebastian would have ever imagined. The man didn't fluster, didn't falter, didn't even seem to break a sweat. Louis used an older digital signing pad with a broken screen, forcing Kurt to try multiple times to sign his name, prolonging this encounter long enough for Louis to try and catch a glimpse of the stalker inside the house. After Louis left, he would call Debbie, who would in turn use her dispatch radio to contact the police.

Sebastian felt his heart hammering against his rib cage. He stood as still as he could, nervous that any small move, any tiny breath would give them away. Sebastian's body constantly tried to betray him. He developed a tickle in his throat that would not be ignored. Then an itch behind his knee plagued him. Sweat rolling down his back agonizingly slowly puddled around the waist of his pants, but he forced himself to focus on Louis, waiting for a signal.

He caught a hint of Kurt's voice, the heart shattering sound of him pleading with Louis to fix the digital pad so that he could sign his name. Sebastian realized that Kurt had a plan of his own, probably to write a note for help on that screen. He almost broke, almost ran forward and grabbed him, but he couldn't, and inside of him a piece of his soul died.

Everything after that exchange played out in slow motion as Louis turned to walk away, signaling Sebastian with a distinctive one-fingered wave. Louis had gotten a glimpse of the hidden stranger in the house…and he had a gun.

Sebastian gulped hard, watching Louis make his way swiftly to the truck, more swiftly than normal if anyone had cared to pay attention. As Kurt started to close the door, Sebastian made his move, running for the wood at full force and praying that he didn't hurt Kurt too badly when he shoved him out of the way.

This part of the plan was less sophisticated than the rest, and exceedingly more fool-hardy for sure, but with no sign of the police running to their rescue, and no idea when Justice might get a new car and make it back, this was all Sebastian had – an act of desperation with the sole goal of getting him inside the house, hopefully taking the stalker by surprise long enough to disarm him.

If nothing else, he'd be with Kurt, no matter what the actual outcome turned out to be.

He threw himself at the door full force, hitting it with his shoulder so hard he thought the wood would crack. He heard Kurt yelp in surprise, and then the sickening sound of his body connecting with the wall.

Sebastian pushed the realization of hurting Kurt aside as much as he could and ran head long into the unknown.

There he was at last, face to face with Kurt's stalker, and the image in front of him gave him a moment's pause. For a split second, Sebastian didn't know whether he was really there, in the house, facing down a phantom menace, or in his car still waiting for Louis, imaging how this all would go down. The man standing in front of him, holding the gun, looked so much like Kurt that Sebastian nearly slid to a halt. But the closer he got, Sebastian could see only a ghoul hiding beneath chestnut colored hair and a finely tailored suit.

Sebastian grabbed for Chandler's wrist, still managing to tackle him to the ground even though he had lost most of his momentum. The gun slid out of Chandler's grasp, skidding across the floor and lodging somewhere beneath the sofa.

Sebastian knew he was yelling, cursing, commanding Kurt to grab the gun, or run, or anything.

Sebastian squeezed Chandler's wrist until he was sure it would break. Chandler wailed in anger, in pain, spitting back as many curses in his high-pitched squeaky voice as Sebastian did.

Sebastian grabbed for Chandler's other arm, but he moved like a snake, slipping out of Sebastian's grasp. Sebastian looked into Chandler's soulless eyes and only saw red, his face shrouded by the haze of rage permeating Sebastian's body. His free fist bunched in the silky fabric of the silver shirt and he shook Chandler like a doll, pounding him mercilessly into the ground.

"You little bitch!" Sebastian screamed. "You Goddamned fucking cowardly son-of-a-bitch!"

Sebastian roared, he spit, his eyes watered, and every muscle in his body shook. He struggled to see past the tears of unbridled hate that tortured his eyes, but he knew Chandler was getting weaker, his blue eyes rolling in his head, a small trickle of blood making its way past his chapped lips.

Sebastian focused his wrath on this non-human being, determined to kill him, to tear him apart with his bare hands. His desire to see this man's blood blinded him to everything else…but it didn't make it deaf to it.

A tiny whisper, the soft sound of a single word broke through the hate…and turned into his undoing.

"Sebastian?"

Kurt's voice - small, broken, horrified and relieved - broke through the veil of Sebastian's outrage.

For a second, he came out of the fog and saw the light.

For a second, his heart became whole again.

It took only a second for Chandler to make his next devastating move.

* * *

Kurt hit the wall so hard he swore the universe exploded before his very eyes. Streams of light and pops of color dotted his view, but nothing could shift attention away from his shoulder, which had made contact with his key hook hanging on the wall. It hit a pressure point and effectively paralyzed him. Sounds of fury hit his ears, pounding away along with the pain thrumming inside his head. He heard a wail, and then a voice, two voices cursing, and one…a familiar one…calling his name.

"Kurt! Grab the gun!"

"Kurt! Under the couch! The gun!"

"Kurt, baby! Get out of here! Just…just go!"

Once the sound of Sebastian's voice hit Kurt's ears, his heart beat again. His entire body breathed from every cell.

He turned his head in the direction of Sebastian's voice, blinking away the spots and focusing on the mass in front of him that seemed to be a twisted pile of limbs and a cacophony of punctuated swearing.

Nothing was clear, and the aching in his arm occupied all other thoughts in his head, but the last thing he heard was Sebastian's voice telling him to run, so he tried. He really did try. He scrambled to get to his feet, but putting pressure on his previously sprained ankle caused a new constellation of stars to bloom before him, agony seeping into every pore and sapping his energy.

He sat, helpless, hopeless. He didn't know what to do.

Sebastian.

He needed Sebastian to tell him what to do.

He needed Sebastian's voice guiding him, pulling him back from the pain.

Before he even thought to say it, the word drifted like a prayer from his lips.

"Sebastian?"

Sebastian's head snapped up and turned to look at him. Their eyes locked and everything came back –

_'What would we do here, lying together in bed all weekend long?'_

_'I feel so lucky to call you mine.'_

_'You are so beautiful. I don't know how many times I have to tell you.'_

_'It's you and me together…or not at all.'_

_'You are_ not _weak, Kurt.'_

_'You're mine, Kurt. I'll never hurt you, never cheat on you, never lie to you. You mean everything to me, Kurt. My perfect, beautiful Kurt.'_

_'I love you.'_

Sebastian hadn't left him. He never left. He was there, and they would be together for the rest of their lives.

Kurt felt it.

Then all at once, something went wrong.

Sebastian's breath caught in his throat. He went rigid, his face twisted, his body convulsed, contorted. He grunted through locked teeth. He dropped to the floor and there was Chandler, struggling to get off the ground, weaving a little on unsteady legs, smirking as he spat blood into Sebastian's face.

* * *

 **Sebastian** registered his skin stinging, burning from the point of contact, before he lost complete control. Every muscle went painfully rigid, twitching beyond their ability to even move. The intense sensation of pain consumed him, surpassed any reckoning of pain he had ever experienced. It was immense and blinding, focused every rational thought completely on it, giving him no room to function, no path to find a means of escaping its grasp. He was more than paralyzed, he was neutralized. His body moved on its own without his permission. In those tiny spaces in between when he could comprehend something other than pain, he tried to regain command of his limbs, but it didn't matter.

There was nothing left of his being now except paralysis and pain.

This was what it felt like to be tasered.

It was horrifyingly, morbidly effective, and for a moment, when the agony stopped, Sebastian had to commend himself on the fantastic idea he had.

"Chandler!" Kurt screeched, digging his nails into the floor, trying desperately to drag himself across. "Chandler! No! Stop!"

Sebastian could tell by the desperation in Kurt's voice, breathy and broken, pleading for life and death, that Chandler had tased him more than once. Sebastian couldn't tell how many times, though. He started to drift in and out of consciousness more than once. His limbs ached, heavy and useless sacks of muscle and bone with no purpose. He felt the sickening slump of his heart as it almost stopped. So impotent was every function of his body that his glassy eyes couldn't even blink.

 **Chandler** leaned in close, snarling at Sebastian, lip curled, dead eyes locking onto Sebastian's shocked, trance-like stare.

"I gave you a chance," Chandler whispered, the stagnant stench of stale air around him choking Sebastian as it seeped through his nose and mouth. "I let you go, for Kurt's sake. But you couldn't just go, could you? Couldn't leave and stay away, even for your own good? You had to come back? You had to play around?"

Chandler chuckled grimly at Sebastian's attempt to move, only able to shift his eyes slightly away in search of Kurt, and then back to Chandler's face when he couldn't see the man he loved.

"Well, well, well," Chandler tutted, "you want to play games with me? Let's play some games."


	27. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for tense situations and violence (nothing bloody or gruesome).

Sebastian opened his eyes to the soothing sensation of the sun gently warming his face, and the smell of the newly cut grass around him. The blue sky overhead reminded him of something beautiful…something amazing…something he longed to touch and wrap around himself like a blanket, to snuggle into and breathe in. He could hear the birds singing overhead - a high-pitched, musical warble that woke him from the most delicious nap of his life.

Sebastian stretched his limbs slowly, expecting them to ache and burn for some reason, but they didn’t. He felt he could run and dance, maybe even do a cartwheel. He giggled at the image in his head of himself trying to pull off a full cartwheel, and more than likely landing on his ass.

He stood and lifted his arms above his head, yawning, relaxed, the warmth surrounding him trying to pull him down to the grass and lure him back to sleep. He contemplated another nap, smiling at the bed of soft green beneath his feet, but the sky above him called his eyes to it, the alluring blue almost speaking to him. Unobscured by clouds, it beckoned him to search for something…or someone.

It seemed to tell him that there was a person here he needed to find.

Sebastian turned slowly in place, eyes sweeping over the expanse of the garden appreciatively, admiring how tall the flowers had grown since the start of spring. The orange gerberas and the blood red dahlias, the rows and rows of multi-colored roses with their straight stems and thick thorns, and peonies as far as the eye could see. Beyond the flowers, Sebastian could see rows and rows of vegetables. Vines sprouting melons in every conceivable shade of green and yellow twined along the ground, leading him down a path lined with sinister-looking spicy peppers. Vibrant, almost cartoonishly colored tomatoes grew in straight, carefully tended rows, and amid the rows Sebastian could hear a beautiful voice humming.

This voice he knew. This voice touched him, vibrated his blood, called to his heart. It sent a surge of longing through him. He felt it cover him like his own skin. Sebastian peeked over the plants and the vines until he caught a glimpse of a pale face tilted toward the sun, plump lips smiling, expression melting from one of tension to serenity and peace.

Sebastian realized what he had been looking for.

Home…home wrapped up in blue eyes and perfect skin.

Kurt…Kurt was home.

Sebastian tried to find a bend in the path that led to Kurt, but he couldn’t. He attempted to pick his way delicately through the peppers and the roses, but the thorns menaced him, and everywhere he tried to step, a new pepper plant stood in his way.

Sebastian was frustrated and confused, stuck and stayed by a barrier that should be simple for him to get by, but which blocked him at every turn. Sebastian tried to call to Kurt, opened his mouth to yell his name, but every attempt was ripped away, the words carried off by a passing breeze, or a sudden influx of bees swarming in the flowers.

Sebastian wanted to cry. Why was Kurt so difficult to get to? He decided to take a chance and leap over the plants, but he found his body wouldn’t move, wouldn’t even _try_ to move anymore. He felt thick vines wrapping around him, squeezing him tight.

Clouds closed in overhead, blocking out the sun, covering the blue. Kurt looked away, his eyes filled with sorrow and fear. Sebastian tugged at the vines, but the more he pulled, the tighter they squeezed. His mind fought against panic to stay calm, to keep his mind clear. He watched Kurt get up and shield his face from the oncoming storm. Kurt glanced around the garden, taking in the plants and vines, as if he were searching for something among the abundant rows of green growth, too. Sebastian thought their eyes would surely meet, that Kurt would see his body wrapped in vines, and run to him, but Kurt’s blue eyes just missed his. The rain began to fall, sheets of it pounding down on Sebastian, bending the stems and the leaves of the plants, and forcing Kurt away. Kurt ran off into the distance, in the opposite direction of where Sebastian was held captive. Sebastian looked ahead and saw to his horror a bigger yellow house than Kurt’s cozy townhouse, with a bigger iron fence. This one had bars on the windows, and a large iron door.

The door stood open, waiting for Kurt’s return, and standing in the threshold stood a smirking Chandler, not skeletal or ghoulish like Sebastian remembered – but alive and strong, with the same glower of evil in his eyes.

“Kurt!” the grating voice called angrily as Kurt scurried into the house. “For the love of God, Kurt!”

Sebastian squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to see Kurt cowering into the house, or the intense look of triumph trained at Sebastian.

“Kurt!” the high-pitched voice continued to yell. “Kurt!”

Sebastian blinked once and the storm disappeared.

He blinked twice, and the clouds cleared.

He blinked a third time, and the blue sky returned…in the form of Kurt’s startling azure eyes – eyes wild with distress and agitation.

Sebastian tried to give Kurt a small, lopsided smile.

“Is this a dream?” Sebastian whispered, his voice barely a sound as his throat tried to work again. “Or am I in heaven?”

Kurt laughed through the tears staining his cheeks, wrapping his arms tighter around Sebastian’s bound body.

 

* * *

 

Kurt’s sole concern, his focus, was making his way to Sebastian. He propelled himself forward across the room, digging his nails into the floor, and using his uninjured foot to lurch along.

Kurt saw the Taser, poised dangerously close to Sebastian’s neck.

"Well, well, well," Kurt heard Chandler say as he leaned low and locked eyes with Sebastian’s vacant stare, "you want to play games with me? Let's play some games."

“No!” Kurt screamed, using the last burst of energy he had within him to throw his body fully over Sebastian, winding his arms around him, threading his leg between his, and tugging him close.

“Kurt!” Chandler screamed in frustration “For the love of God, Kurt!”

Kurt didn’t respond, just wrapped himself impossibly tight around Sebastian’s body, trying to merge the two of them together. If he could only give Sebastian strength, or if he could take a bit of Sebastian’s fearlessness, then they could so this…they could win.

For now, all he had was his body, and maybe he could use it to keep Chandler from torturing Sebastian any further.

“Kurt!” Chandler chided, talking the way a parent would to a disobedient child. “Kurt!” Chandler tried to pull Kurt from Sebastian’s body, but Kurt latched on tight and wouldn’t move.

Kurt felt Sebastian struggle a little in his grip, heard him groan quietly. His eyelids fluttered as they fought to open. Kurt saw the pain that came with the movement, the way Sebastian’s brow knit together, and even more devastating, the lightning strike pattern that disfigured the whites of his eyes, pupils fixed and dilated. Kurt whimpered at the broken look in their ocean green depths.

“No,” he gasped. Sebastian blinked, concentrating on Kurt’s heartbroken expression. Sebastian tried to smile - unbeatable, beautiful Sebastian, fighting so hard to bring Kurt back, to give him peace in the face of his own pain.

“Is this a dream? Or am I in heaven?” Sebastian’s breath ghosted lightly over Kurt’s skin, still so warm, so alive. It brought back a little of Kurt’s faith.

“Oh, Sebastian,” Kurt moaned, pulling Sebastian’s face against his shoulder, shielding him from whatever Chandler had planned next.

“Oh, give me a break,” Chandler whined, putting a hand to his aching head where Sebastian had pounded it against the ground. “I think my brain’s bleeding, and all you care about is that…that…”

“His name’s Sebastian,” Kurt growled, tapping into a tiny well of defiance he didn’t even know still existed within him, “and I love him.”

Kurt made himself straighter, stronger with Sebastian in his grasp.

“I’m never going to be with you, Chandler,” Kurt continued, choosing to stand up to Chandler in the face of possible death instead of taking the coward’s way out, negotiating away and denying the one thing he had in his life that was worth throwing everything away for. “I love him, and I’m not leaving this house without him.”

Chandler crouched down low, pushing in close to Kurt’s face.

“But will he feel the same way, Kurt, when he finds out everything Dave did to you?”

Kurt felt his lip quivering.

“He knows what Dave did to me,” Kurt replied. “And he doesn’t care.”

“Maybe not about the abuse and the scars that Dave left, but what about the others, Kurt? The times you said you thought Dave drugged you, and passed you around to his friends. Those dinner parties that ended with you as dessert?”

Kurt swallowed hard. More secrets, but these secrets Kurt had never intended to tell. He honestly wasn’t even sure they were real memories. He thought maybe they were hate fantasies, a way for his mind to find some other reason to despise Dave enough to push him into running away, not that he really needed any.

“Oh, it was true,” Chandler nodded, affirming Kurt’s worst fears as if he could read his mind. “Everything you thought happened. And you know how I know?”

Kurt shook his head just slightly, unaware of the motion as he made it.

“Adam told me,” Chandler admitted.

Kurt hadn’t blinked his eyes once, and he felt them starting to sting, but he didn’t dare move as Chandler spoke.

“Oh my God, Kurt!” Chandler sat on the floor, crossing his legs as if they were having a friendly afternoon of gossip over coffee. “Adam was so in love with you. Puppy dog eyes and bow ties and everything you ever dreamed of having with that loser Blaine.” Chandler leaned in close until their noses touched. “He could have given it all to you, Kurt.”

Kurt tried to pull back, grab Sebastian and move as far away from Chandler as he could, but there was no place in the tiny living room to go. He felt Sebastian slowly roll his shoulders, testing out his limbs with tiny movements, but he didn’t let on.

“Anyway,” Chandler continued, rolling his eyes, “he sought Dave out, got invited to one of those parties, and watched Dave drug you, watched him undress you and put you to bed, and then all of Dave’s friends lined up like kids going on a carnival ride.”

Kurt felt tears sting his eyes. He’d always suspected, but he never knew for sure. He had had nightmares before which felt so real he thought they had to be flashbacks.

“If that’s true…” Kurt forced out through trembling lips, “why didn’t he…”

“Do anything about it?” Chandler looked positively giddy, aching head forgotten as he bounced up and down, rolling on his hips. “That’s the worst part, Kurt. He was going to. He confronted Dave and everything. Threatened to call the police then…and…there…” Chandler punctuated his words, stabbing the floor after each one with the Taser. Kurt cringed when he saw it close up, looking like a big, bulky gun, and the prongs on the front which delivered the electrical shocks. Kurt swallowed hard, eyes darting back and forth, wondering what became of the gun.

“But Dave gave him an offer Adam just couldn’t refuse.”

Kurt wanted to ask ‘what’. His mouth formed the word, but no sound came out.

“You,” Chandler revealed. “For the rest of that evening. And he took it. Adam knew you didn’t love him, knew you never would. So he took Dave up on it. He spent the night with you, and never spoke about it again.”

“If he never spoke about it…”

Chandler rolled his eyes again, tired that Kurt seemed so dense.

“Well, eventually he did,” Chandler said shrugging. “I found his Facebook page. He had an unsecure account. I mean, everyone in the universe could read his status updates and look at his pictures. He talked about you all the time. He called you his ‘blue eyed prince’.” Chandler gestured dramatically as he spoke.

That’s when Kurt knew Chandler was telling the truth. Adam called Kurt his ‘blue eyed prince’ whenever they were alone together. Chandler didn’t go to NYADA, and as far as Kurt knew, Chandler and Adam had never met. Chandler could have only learned about the nickname if Adam had told him.

Kurt hated Adam in that moment. Every fond thought or memory he ever had for the man evaporated into vapor. Suddenly, an evil thought crossed Kurt’s mind, and he couldn’t even bring himself to feel sorry for it. He was glad Adam was dead.

“You know, it’s because of Adam that I was able to find you.”

Kurt found it harder and harder to hold on. His arms cramped, and he shifted his grip, but he was unwilling to loosen his hold on Sebastian, even if every muscle in his body tore from his bones.

“Yeah,” Chandler said brightly. “He said that he had a lead as to where you were, and that he was going to come out here, apologize for everything, lay it all out on the line, and ask you to be his.”

Chandler chuckled as if the very idea struck him as astoundingly stupid.

“So, I befriended him and followed him. Told him I was an old friend of yours, and would vouch for him, blah, blah, blah… Of course I knew it was never going to happen. I mean, once you found out that I killed Dave…”

Kurt’s eyes went wide in response. He shuddered at how casually Chandler could admit to such a thing.

“Yeah,” Chandler responded contemplatively, gesturing to Kurt nonchalantly with the Taser. “I’m surprised you never caught on to that, seeing as how I staged the whole thing to look like your mom’s death and all. It was a message. I thought for sure you would figure it out because we were always so in sync.”

Chandler sighed, exhausted from grappling with Sebastian and dizzy from what he didn’t realize was a more serious wound to the head than he knew.

“So, Adam and I came out here to find you. We went to that stupid bar and waited.”

Chandler looked at Sebastian, lying momentarily still in Kurt’s arms.

“Actually, I owe your little friend here a debt of gratitude. Without Prince Valiant here keeping guard at the door, I never would have found you. I was so ready to leave, and there you were, racing out the back, right past me.” Chandler smiled condescendingly. “I forgive you for not seeing me, by the way.”

Kurt shook his head, the lump in his throat growing so immense he wasn’t sure how he was even able to breathe.

“So…” Kurt stuttered. “You killed Dave.”

“Yup,” Chandler said simply. “And Adam.”

Kurt jumped.

“Wait…” Kurt shook his head. “Why Adam?”

“For what he did to you,” Chandler said simply. “I had to go after all of them, Kurt. Every single one.”

Kurt’s jaw dropped, wondering how many men Chandler had killed on his behalf. Maybe Kurt didn’t have to feel guilty that they were punished for what they did to him, but he didn’t want all of that blood on his hands. And what if Chandler had been wrong? What if he had gone after and killed innocent men? Chandler didn’t seem like the kind of person to be too discerning.

Chandler blew out a frustrated breath. He opened his arms wide, tilting his head sympathetically.

“Last chance offer, Kurt,” he said. “We eighty-six the boyfriend here, we hit the last two people on my list…and then you’ll be free.”

The word ‘free’ didn’t sit well with Kurt. It stung his tongue, felt bitter and acidic the more he tried to isolate Chandler’s definition of it.

“Which two people?” Kurt asked.

Chandler smiled his widest, most morbid smile yet.

“Why, Blaine and Eli, of course.”

Kurt felt Sebastian trying to move, but Kurt squeezed him tight, silently begging him to stay still. Kurt’s eyes shot around the room.

The door hung open. Maybe he could scream for help.

Nope.

Stupid.

Next.

Chandler stared at him expectantly, then suddenly swayed on his knees, blinking his eyes against a wave of nausea. Kurt scooted a bit backward, still trying to find a way out. His arm landed on something hard, his elbow crunching against it, and he winced. Kurt stopped. He didn’t have to move any farther to know what his arm had happened upon.

The gun…right behind him, shielded from Chandler’s view.

Kurt could hear what sounded like a dozen cars and sirens off in the distance, nowhere near them yet, but getting louder and closer. Kurt hoped and prayed that they were heading for his house. He relaxed a bit, blowing out a premature sigh of relief.

Chandler’s blood shot eyes snapped open, filled with rage. He huffed as he stood. Hearing the sounds of the oncoming sirens, he crossed to the open door and shut it. It took multiple tries to get the antique door, now hanging lamely in its cracked frame, to shut completely, and only the lock on the knob would slide into place. Kurt quickly took an arm off of Sebastian, both men shifting and flexing cramped and stiff muscles. Kurt reached beneath and behind himself for the gun, slipping it silently under his shirt while Chandler fiddled with the door.

Chandler stomped back to the two men on the floor, seemingly unaware that either had moved. He aimed the Taser for Sebastian’s eyes.

“I’m done with this,” Chandler said finally. “You leave here with me. He leaves here in a bag. End of story.”

Kurt sprang into motion, lashing out and knocking the Taser from Chandler’s hand. Chandler fumbled for the weapon, which bounced on the floor, and spun out of reach. Kurt struggled against stiff limbs and screaming muscles, straddling Sebastian’s body protectively, and pulling out the hidden gun. The spin of his torso and the flail of his arms pulled at his muscles in opposite directions, causing him to pull something in his already injured shoulder, but adrenaline was just the thing he needed to keep the pain at bay, and he had plenty of it.

Chandler looked concerned for a second, and then amused. When he actually started laughing, Kurt lost it.

“Shut up!” Kurt screeched. "Shut your fucking mouth!”

Chandler and Kurt both heard a multitude of cars pull up to the curb. Chandler looked up at the window and then back at Kurt, eager to be out of the house, but he had no intention of admitting defeat. He came here for Kurt, and he was leaving with Kurt, one way or the other.

“How are you going to protect lover boy here, huh?” Chandler sneered. “You couldn’t even protect yourself, remember? So much abuse and you didn’t tell anyone. Hell, Dave had a gun just like that one in a box with no lock and key, and you wouldn’t even think of shooting him in his sleep. And do you know why, Kurt?”

The gun shook in Kurt’s hand, his silence Chandler’s only answer.

“Because you’re weak, Kurt. That’s why. You’re weak. You do whatever you’re told. You can’t think for yourself. You need someone to control you. That’s how you live. So do what you’re told and come with me…now!”

Kurt heard car doors closing and people milling outside. Kurt imagined neighbors coming out of houses while yellow caution tape was set up and officers told people to return to their homes. He could hear the crackle of radios and words like “possible armed gun man”, “multiple reports of”, and “one maybe two hostages”.

He had to hold out, just for a few moments longer, and then the police would be breaking down his door to save them. Just a moment. Just a little longer.

They were so close.

But Kurt knew Chandler wasn’t going to wait for that moment.

Kurt saw the intent in Chandler’s eyes as they zeroed in on the gun. He knew Chandler would make a grab for it, knew that if he got it, Sebastian would be dead. Chandler would kill him, right here in cold blood, and that would be it.

Chandler was going to take Sebastian away from him. Kurt said the words to himself in his head, let them ring around his mind, bouncing around like some annoying ball he wanted to snatch out of the air and crush in his hand.

Chandler was going to take Sebastian away.

Chandler, the sniveling wretch, this unexpectedly evil coward, was going to take Kurt’s one and only true love away from him.

With those words growing louder in his brain, like a thorny vine weaving through the soft folds of his sanity, something inside Kurt snapped.

All his life, people were taking things away from him. A drunk driver took away his mother. Bullies took away his pride and dignity by shoving him into dumpsters and lockers. Blaine took possession of all his firsts. Dave took away his freedom, his self-worth, and his ability to trust people. Chandler took away his sense of security, and almost took away his happy home.

Sebastian was one of the few people in his life who didn’t take. He just gave.

Sebastian gave Kurt his love, his devotion, his body, and his ability to start believing in the good in people again.

Chandler didn’t realize that Kurt _had_ considered killing Dave. Every night for almost a year Kurt took that gun out of its box, loaded it, took the safety off, and pointed it to the temple of Dave’s sleeping head, but he couldn’t bring himself to pull the trigger.

Because Kurt wasn’t evil.

He wasn’t a killer.

He didn’t see that as a way out.

Kurt regretted every day that he didn’t protect himself all those years ago, but he was going to be damned to hell if he didn’t protect the man that he loved now.

Chandler moved quickly, grabbing for the gun. Kurt saw Chandler’s arm reach out, the twisted sneer on his lips, the desperation in his eyes, and incredibly an immense calm overtook him.

The first shot was the hardest. Even with every fiber of his being screaming to make Chandler pay, the decision to take a life and actually doing it were two very different and magnanimous things. A line would be crossed with the pull of that trigger, the squeeze of his hand, and once he did, he could never cross back.

The sound of the gun firing was like an explosion in the tiny house. Kurt could hear Sebastian screaming his name, heard the officers outside scrambling like ants, shouting orders and making threats, but the voices didn’t register, the words made no sense.

The bullet hit Chandler in the shoulder, and the man doubled over. When his eyes looked back up at Kurt, dumbfounded, mouth twisted in rage, Kurt knew this was the only option - he couldn’t let Chandler live.

Not all of the shots Kurt fired were meant for Chandler; Chandler just took them. The next shot was for Dave. Then a shot for Blaine, ruining the happily ever after he had always dreamed of having. Another for the years he had missed out on, the father he hadn’t seen in three years, and Finn’s funeral, which he never got the chance to attend.

A shot for Adam – fucking Adam – who had promised so much, and delivered so little.

And oddly enough, a shot for himself – for believing the lies, for doubting his own self-worth, for folding up and giving in when he should have found the strength to fight, for waiting for someone else to rescue him when he needed the power to rescue himself.

Kurt pulled the trigger over and over. No force in the world could have stilled his hand. The bullets entered Chandler’s body easily, like tearing through tissue paper. Even after Chandler stopped breathing and lay still, even after Kurt had emptied the clip and the gun simply made a dull clicking sound when Kurt pulled the trigger, he continued to fire.

There were no tears from Kurt.

Chandler didn’t deserve any.

“Kurt!” Sebastian cried, his arms covering his face. “Kurt, it’s over now, baby. Stop firing. Please, Kurt.”

Once the gun fire had stopped, officers broke through the door and swarmed the house.

“Put the gun down now!” an officer yelled, training his weapon on Kurt.

Kurt moved slowly, putting the gun on the floor and then raising his hands in the air, head hanging low.

“No!” Sebastian screamed, squirming to face the arresting officer, watching him snap cuffs on Kurt’s wrists. Two other officers pulled Kurt up by the arms, carrying him away from Sebastian.

“No! No, you’ve got the wrong man!” Sebastian continued to scream. Cops roamed everywhere. They walked throughout the kitchen and dining room. They tromped upstairs. Sebastian heard the slamming of doors as they checked rooms. They unlocked the back door and performed a perimeter sweep of the yard. They cleared the house for EMT workers, who brought in a gurney for himself…and a body bag for Chandler.

“You have the right to remain silent…” the officer recited. Kurt didn’t resist. He allowed himself to be led away and Sebastian continued to call after them.

“He invokes his rights!” Sebastian screamed as the EMT’s surrounded him, trying to take his vitals and look him over. “He has a lawyer. Kurt! Kurt! Don’t say a thing until your lawyer gets there, Kurt! I’ll be there soon, Kurt! I love you. Don’t say a word, gorgeous!”

Sebastian tried to push the medical team off of him.

“I don’t need medical attention!” he growled. “I need to be with my boyfriend! I need to be with Kurt!”

“Look at his eyes,” one worker almost gasped, noticing the jagged patterns from the multiple electric shots.

“Please!” Frustration caused tears to well in his eyes as he heard a car door close, most likely with Kurt inside. “Please! I need to get to my boyfriend!”

A younger woman leaned into his ear and whispered quietly, “Let us finish our job, and we’ll let you go.” Sebastian turned to the smiling woman’s face. “I promise. We’ll get you to your boyfriend.”

Sebastian sighed but he couldn’t stop the tears – tears of anger, of frustration, of fear. He submitted to the examination reluctantly, hands balled into fists at his side, aware of every second that ticked away, and Kurt slipping further and further from his grasp.


	28. Chapter 26

Kurt had never given any thought to the use of the phrase `felt numb`. He had read it in manuscripts, and surely he had used it, but now that numbness had pervaded every nerve and muscle, dulled every sensation, blinded and deafened him to the world around him, he realized how stupid and false the phrase `felt numb` actually sounded. A human being didn't feel numb. How can a person feel non-feeling? No, numbness was a state of being. It had started in his hand when he fired the first shot, and traveled through his veins like a poison, destroying everything. It took away his person...his sense of self, his personality at its core.

No matter how much he could justify and rationalize that he had done the right thing, it still didn't mean that killing Chandler hadn't changed him forever. The Kurt he had been was gone. The victim and the runaway, their stories had resolved. Kurt left his house a new man - stronger for having stood up to his demons and defending the man he loved, but for all intents and purposes, he was also a killer. A killer in handcuffs, and he was headed to jail.

He barely felt himself being lifted from Sebastian’s body. If someone had asked him if the cuffs on his wrists were tight or cold, or how he had managed to walk from the house to the police car, he couldn't say. He didn’t acknowledge Madeline when she called to him, barely registered Justice when he asked about Sebastian. A whole world spun around him, but he no longer existed in it. He had taken a life, he had committed a cardinal sin.

He had read somewhere once that killing another person would mean forfeiting his own life in return.

Kurt classified himself as a non-person.

Kurt sat in the back seat of the squad car amid a murmur of cries and confused whispers, and even a few distant voices calling out his name. Once the car door closed behind him, the silent aura surrounding him became complete. He was caged…locked in, but surprisingly he didn’t feel as trapped as he thought he would. What he always thought would be a traumatic experience for him was simply just another turn of events, the flip of a page in a story that wasn’t yet over for him.

The car rolled away from the home he had meticulously made and kept for the past three years, but driving away and tossing a look over his shoulder, assuming this would be the last time he would set eyes on it again, he saw it for what it was – a prison. So in essence, things in his life weren’t spiraling out of control. He was simply moving laterally from one prison to another.

The officers in the car with him might have addressed him once or twice. They might have just forgotten him completely and spoke only to each other. Kurt didn’t know. He didn’t pay attention to them. He focused solely on his future. Regardless of impending future imprisonment, his life had become a clean slate. Nothing of the past he was running from was written on it. He had basically been granted a do-over, with one thing remaining to start him off; a name written neatly in a far corner.

Sebastian.

He could leave everything behind – his job, his house, all of it – but he needed Sebastian.

As the car took him further and further away from everything he knew, he imagined a future with Sebastian – travelling the world, going to exotic locales, meeting new people. Sebastian would snap photographs, Kurt would finish his book, and then what? Who knew. The future stretched out before him, and the options seemed limitless.

Kurt’s first step towards that future would be to make it through this. He just had to take things one step at a time and do something he had never really done before he met Sebastian – he had to put his trust, his faith, in someone else.

Kurt made this vision of a life with Sebastian his totem…his mantra. It was no longer an impossible dream. It became his goal.

He refused to sabotage his life.

He had risked everything to save the man he loved.

Now he would trust that man to save him back.

The officers led him from the car to a large, gray cement building that could have been any office building in downtown nowhere, except for the addition of a high chain-link fence and some armed officers at the gate. The officers held his elbow securely and led him down hallways and stairs, a virtual labyrinth lined with plain wood doors that led to windowless rooms. At the far end of the final hallway, they opened one of these otherwise non-assuming doors, and sat him in a simple white room. It had a table and some chairs, but nothing else.

Here he sat, and here he would stay and wait.

Feeling and emotion started to return to Kurt. Butterflies fluttered in his stomach for the first time since his arrest, and he welcomed them. His blood went cold with fear and anxiety, and on some level he was glad. He wouldn’t become an emotionless non-person. He hadn't forfeited his life.

He needed to get out.

The officers undid his cuffs and Kurt pulled his arms in front of him, rubbing his sore joints with his hands. He ran his thumb over the scar on his wrist and imagined that Sebastian sat beside him, holding his hand. That image of Sebastian’s hand covering his, giving Kurt his strength made all the difference. It made him sit straighter, made his eyes a bit clearer, and when the officer sat across from him and said, "I'd like to ask you a few questions”, Kurt looked him in the eyes and said in a voice both quiet and firm, "I’m going to wait for my lawyer first, thank you."

* * *

“357…358…359…360…”

Sebastian schooled his breathing, tried to calm his racing heart as he counted the seconds, waiting to spring off the gurney and get to Kurt.

It seemed like the EMTs were purposefully taking forever releasing him. They hemmed and hawed about taking Sebastian to the hospital, but he vehemently refused further treatment. Most of the officers had cleared out and left. The house was once again just a tiny dwelling, even though a few police stayed behind, waiting for Sebastian and the EMTs to leave so that they could tape up the door and declare it an active crime scene.

The young woman who had promised to get him to Kurt as soon as possible worked quickly while her colleagues debated. She made sure he had no blood pooling in his extremities, that his head didn’t hurt, and that he didn’t feel nauseous. She had made the recommendation that he start counting quietly while he sat still until his pupillary response returned. Counting the seconds as they ticked along slowly murdered him. Sebastian couldn’t sit still, couldn’t just be motionless while he felt Kurt slipping away.

In a way, Sebastian was more afraid of Kurt being in police custody than held captive by Chandler. Kurt physically fought Chandler and won, but the legal system was another monster all its own, full of red-tape and loopholes that needed to be navigated, colored by perception and influenced by public opinion and political agenda. Kurt’s story could fall on the ears of a sympathetic district attorney, or he could become the pawn in a larger, unfortunate game.

Sebastian needed to find just the right master to play the game.

Sebastian looked past the EMTs in search of the wall clock. He spied Kurt’s iPhone on the coffee table and his heart sank. Poor Kurt, alone, at the police station, without his phone or anyway to contact Sebastian. No way to know that Sebastian hadn’t abandoned him, or that he would move heaven and hell to be with him again. Sebastian couldn’t imagine what Kurt was thinking, the anxiety he might be feeling. Sebastian recalled the image of Kurt being led away in handcuffs; the defeated, empty look in his crystal eyes. Sebastian thought for certain that Kurt had given up, thrown his walls back into place and locked everyone out. Sebastian wouldn’t blame him if he had. Kurt needed to protect himself. Sebastian wouldn’t begrudge Kurt any method he chose to accomplish that task. Sebastian only prayed he could finally get through to Kurt when he saw him again.

Sebastian couldn’t leap down off the gurney and get to the phone. His eyes shifted left and right, looking for a little help.

“Hey,” he called into the crowd of otherwise useless EMTs standing around and arguing. “You…blondie...” Three people turned and looked. Sebastian rolled his eyes, raising his hand to indicate the one closest to his intended target. “You.”

The man raised a questioning eyebrow and pointed to himself.

“Yeah, you,” Sebastian confirmed. “Can you hand me my phone?”

The man looked dumbly around, and Sebastian never wanted to slap a human being more in his entire life.

“On the coffee table, genius. Behind you…”

The man scoffed, but turned around and retrieved the iPhone, handing it over to Sebastian.

“Thanks, chuckles,” Sebastian mocked as he looked down at the tiny device. He unlocked the screen and stopped for a moment at the picture Kurt chose for his wallpaper. It was a photo he had taken of the two of them together in bed one early Sunday morning. Kurt beamed into the lens while Sebastian kissed him on the cheek. Kurt’s adorable bed hair framed a glowing face, just slightly dopey from too little sleep after a night spent making love. Kurt looked so happy, so carefree.

Sebastian vowed he wouldn’t rest until he could see Kurt look that way again.

He pulled up Google and searched for any and every organization that catered to victims of battery and abuse. Along with the names and phone numbers of a few local shelters he saw a number of recent articles featuring a lawyer by the name of Lydia Duprees, who recently won a case for a victim of domestic abuse between two female life partners. Scanning the articles he saw that she had made a name for herself in the arena of abuse victims’ rights, including a platform supporting male victims of rape. Several times she had even gone head to head with the mayor himself.

Sebastian smiled. He may have just found himself a heavy hitter.

He located her number and called. It took several tries before he could even get in touch with her secretary.

“Lydia Duprees’s office. How may I direct your call?”

“Hello, miss,” Sebastian said, sounding as smooth and charming as he could muster under the circumstances. “My name is Sebastian Smythe, and I need to speak with Ms. Duprees. It’s an emergency.”

“I’m sorry,” the woman on the line said apologetically, “but Ms. Duprees is in conference with…”

“Listen,” Sebastian interrupted, trying hard to stay polite, “I wish I had more time to listen to your carefully practiced excuse, but I don’t. My boyfriend is a victim of rape and abuse, and he’s just been arrested for saving me from a violent stalker. So what I need to know is how much money is it going to take to get Ms. Duprees out of her conference and down to the police station right now?”

Sebastian had always appreciated how money could move things along when needed…and at the moment he had more than enough to spread around.

He waited for an answer.

He got silence. No whispers, no mumbling. Not even the sound of breathing on the line. 

Then a click.

Sebastian sighed. He wouldn’t be dissuaded, not with something as important as Kurt’s freedom hanging in the balance.

He prepared to dial the number again.

“A quarter of a million,” a no-nonsense woman’s voice said finally, “paid to the Gay and Lesbian Anti-Violence Project downtown, and we have a deal.”

“Done,” Sebastian said without hesitation.

“Very good,” the voice responded. “My secretary will transfer your call and when you’re done, call my office back and we’ll talk about your boyfriend…”

“Kurt,” Sebastian supplied. “Kurt Hummel.”

“Kurt Hummel,” she repeated. “And I’m Lydia Duprees. It’s been a pleasure, Mr. Smythe.”

* * *

For approximately three hours Kurt sat alone in that little room, looking at the scar on his wrist and letting his mind wander. He wondered what Sebastian was doing right now. He remembered looking into Sebastian’s beautiful sea green eyes and seeing those horrible lightning marks.

He thought through the events of the day over and over, playing them in his mind like some sort of sick horror movie. Kurt could see Chandler holding him at gunpoint, the gruesome twist of gray lips, chapped and cracking as he smiled, the horrible red tinge of bleeding, swollen gums. Kurt could even hear Chandler’s voice, remembered every word he spoke before Sebastian had arrived, telling him the psychotic details of his plan, everything Chandler had done to get to him.

Chandler had squatted in an empty house for rent in Kurt’s neighborhood since the day he had found him. He kept Kurt under constant surveillance. He had tried to break Kurt’s ankle that morning when he found out Kurt had invited Sebastian out for a drink. Chandler never imagined that Sebastian would offer to take care of Kurt that night, or stay the entire weekend. Chandler, of course, was the crazy jogger that plagued Sebastian’s sixth sense. He spent his nights observing them sleep, spying as they hung around reading and talking. He documented when they came and went. He had even followed Justice and Madeline. He knew where they lived, knew where they worked, knew where they hid their spare house key.

Chandler told Kurt how he watched them install the new alarms in the house, how he had called the company pretending to be a customer and asked for specifics on every upgrade so he would know how to bypass them.

Finally he told Kurt how he had disabled the street lights to make him believe that the electricity had gone out in the whole neighborhood when in reality Chandler had only pulled the fuses to Kurt’s house. Kurt didn’t realize that, having an older style house, his fuse box was outside, unlocked and unguarded. He had never blown a fuse, and the realtor who sold him the house hadn’t pointed it out.

All of Chandler’s cool headed and diabolic planning had Kurt both impressed and revolted. He had thought out every little detail, planned it all so painstakingly.

Then Kurt thought about the road Chandler took to get to that point, all of the people he killed.

He had almost killed Sebastian.

When Kurt pictured Sebastian paralyzed on the floor, unmoving, barely breathing, the lifeless look in his blank stare, Kurt wished for a moment that he hadn’t shot Chandler.

He wished he could have torn Chandler to pieces with his bare hands.

The long stretch of silence and solitude in the enclosed room offered Kurt no peace. He wondered if maybe they had even forgotten about him. He didn’t like not having a window to look out of, or any indicator at all of whether it was daytime or nighttime. No matter how he switched positions, he couldn’t get comfortable in the hard, stiff chair where he sat. He didn’t have a watch or his phone, and the room didn’t have a clock on the wall, so he had no way of knowing exactly how much time had passed. The longer he sat by himself, the more he realized that other people were making decisions for him, decisions about his life.

It should have frightened him. Instead it made him furious.

A single knock on the door started a mass of balls rolling. The door opened without Kurt saying a word. A smartly dressed woman wearing a deep purple blouse, a sepia brown pencil skirt, and carrying a leather messenger bag over one shoulder walked in. Kurt gazed up into a face that looked both young and stern; honey blonde hair framed a tan complexion and intelligent amber eyes. She barely turned to the officer standing behind her, the one who had originally ushered Kurt down here and had tried to ask him questions.

“I need a moment alone with my client,” the woman said curtly, “but I refuse to have him held down here in the dungeon any longer.”

She focused all of her attention on Kurt, reaching out a beckoning hand and smiling for the first time since entering the room.

“Mr. Hummel,” she said, her voice changing gears quickly from clipped and businesslike to calm and soothing, “my name is Lydia Duprees. Your boyfriend Sebastian hired me to represent you. Let’s get you upstairs so we can work on getting you out of here.”

A little stunned and shocked by this whirlwind force of nature, Kurt stood and took her outstretched hand, shaking it with what he hoped was an air of confidence. She pulled him from the room, past the officer with the smoldering eyes and lips pressed into a thin line, and led him back down the hallway to the staircase. Kurt literally raced up the stairs behind Lydia, astounded that she could outpace him in the four inch Manolo Blahnik heels she wore.

Lydia led them to a room on the upper level. Two large picture windows overlooked a large, grassy area with a circular outcropping of trees on the far end. The late afternoon sun shone down on the grass, tossing shadows from the trees and tall plants all around. It reminded Kurt of the park Sebastian had taken him to, with the hill that overlooked his house and his whole neighborhood. He remembered Sebastian humming as he kissed Kurt, as he touched him. The quiet breeze smelling of crisp morning air and Sebastian’s beautiful tenor voice vibrating gently against his skin – he wanted that back so badly. It seemed like so long ago.

Lydia didn’t speak a word to Kurt until the two of them were locked behind closed doors.

“Please sit down, Mr. Hummel,” she said, motioning to several chairs surrounding a long, wooden conference table. “Would it be alright if I called you Kurt?”

“Yes,” he stuttered, pulling his attention from the window and taking a seat. “Yes, of course.”

She rummaged through her bag and pulled out a plastic deli container.

“Here,” she said, setting it down in front of him. “It’s a turkey wrap from my favorite lunch spot downtown. You must be starving.”

“I am,” he said, surprised at just how famished he was now that food sat in front of him. “Thank you so much, Ms. Duprees.”

“Lydia, please.” She smiled at him sincerely, taking the seat across from him. She pulled a legal pad and pen from her bag, preparing to write. “Now, Kurt, Sebastian clued me in on what happened, but now I need you to tell me your version. Start from the beginning.”

Kurt stopped fiddling with the plastic container and looked at his lawyer.

“From when I found Chandler in my house?” he asked.

“No,” Lydia said with a slight shake of her head. “Start with Dave. Start with the reason why you moved to your house. Give me the reason Chandler came after you in the first place.”

Kurt furrowed his brow, anticipating a long afternoon ahead.

“Would it be alright,” Kurt started quietly, “if we told Sebastian you were here…and that I’m okay? I don’t have my phone.”

Lydia reached into her bag and pulled out her iPhone.

“I’ll send him a quick text,” she said, punching the keys as she spoke. “I know he’s on his way right now.”

Hearing that news…knowing that Sebastian would be near him soon made Kurt’s heart swell. He breathed easier with the thought of Sebastian somewhere in the building, looking for him.

“Is there something in particular you would like me to tell him?” Lydia asked, looking at Kurt over the screen of her phone.

Kurt smiled.

“Could you tell him I love him?” he asked.

Lydia’s grin grew wider.

“Of course,” she said, typing the message before hitting send.

* * *

“Can I go? Can I go? Can I go now? Can I go?” Sebastian started chanting to the EMT as soon as he got off the phone with Lydia’s office. While he coughed up $250,000 to the charity of Ms. Duprees’s choice, she had called ahead and gotten all the information the police had on Kurt’s case. By the time Sebastian called back, she had already left in search of her new client.

“Don’t worry,” Lydia’s secretary assured him. “Your boyfriend’s in good hands.”

Adrenaline coursed through Sebastian’s body. Knowing that Kurt had a lawyer - a high profile lawyer, an expert in her field - filled Sebastian with the utmost confidence. For the first time in his life he felt that he had put his exorbitant inheritance to good use. In his heart he knew that Kurt’s freedom was assured. Now all he needed to do was get to him.

“Can I can I can I can I…” Sebastian continued.

The EMT smiled as she entered some information into her iPad.

“How in the hell does your boyfriend even put up with you?” she asked with a smirk. “He must be some kind of saint.”

“He’s an angel, actually,” Sebastian said, wistfully gazing at the locked iPhone screen and the picture it showed. The young lady sighed. She turned to her equipment case, which started spitting out a narrow strip of paper. She ripped it off and rolled it up before handing it to Sebastian.

“Here,” she said, “this is a summary of your vitals and your injuries. You might need this.”

Sebastian held it carefully in his hand, and then looked into the woman’s concerned gaze. He smirked slyly.

“Can I…”

“You can go already!” she chuckled, nudging him off the gurney.

Sebastian shoved Kurt’s phone into his pocket, and with the paper in his hand he sprang off the metal bed, bounding forward with more energy and zest than he actually felt. The sunlight hit his eyes and his head swam. He knew he wasn’t back to 100%. He probably shouldn’t even drive, but that didn’t matter. He had to make his way to Kurt. He’d crawl if he had to.

“Bastian!” a familiar gruff voice called from beyond the police barricade.

Sebastian turned in the direction of the voice and saw Justice standing just a step past the boundary, an anxious Madeline cradled in his arms.

Sebastian smiled.

“Justice, man!” Sebastian stumbled out toward them. “I have never been so happy to see you in my entire life!”

The couple broke partially to capture Sebastian as he tripped over his feet, falling unwittingly into their embrace.

“Are you alright?” Justice asked, looking Sebastian over from his wobbly knees to his lightning spattered eyes which didn’t quite focus right.

“Yeah,” Sebastian said, trying hard to sound dismissive of his own injuries. “Let’s just say that Taser your friend lent you works really well.”

“Oh, God,” Justice breathed, holding Sebastian’s arm tighter.

“Where’s Kurt?” Madeline whimpered. “We saw them take him away in handcuffs, Sebastian. Where is he?”

“He’s with the police,” Sebastian told them. “We have to get down there now, but I don’t think I can drive.”

Justice didn’t waste another word. He and Madeline led Sebastian quickly to the replacement car she had been given and helped him into the back seat.

“Buckle up and hold on,” were the last words Justice said. He turned the key in the ignition, put the car into gear, and stepped on the gas in one fluid motion. The car peeled away from the curb and shot down the street.

Justice risked at least seven traffic tickets in his attempt to race to the police station. He blew through three red lights, one stop sign, and almost turned the wrong way down a one-way street. When they pulled into the police station and made it past the officer at the gate, Sebastian broke free from the back seat and ran to the first door he could see. He burst through urgently, but he didn’t know what to say once he was in the room full of officers. He had never been in a police station before. The only experience he had with cops was one speeding ticket that a friend of his father’s fixed for him, not to mention watching a few old episodes of _Law and Order_.

He stood right inside the doorway, panting, hoping he looked more desperate than insane.

Madeline and Justice came in behind him just as an officer approached. She eyed the three of them with a skeptical look, but smiled all the same.

“Can I help you?” she asked, looking over Sebastian, then Madeline, and finally Justice, her eyes flicking in his direction more than once.

“Yes,” Sebastian said quickly. “We’re looking for my boyfriend, Kurt Hummel. He was taken into custody this afternoon…”

“Well then,” the officer interrupted, “you’re going to need to fill out some paperwork, and when you’re done, sit in the waiting area while we track down the arresting officer…”

“That won’t be necessary,” a recently familiar voice intervened. Lydia stepped out from behind the officer and Sebastian’s jaw dropped slightly. To say that this lawyer wasn’t at all what Sebastian expected would be an understatement. The woman bustling toward him looked too fashion-forward and incredibly young to be such a locally renowned figure. But for her lack of age she carried herself with an air of authority that immediately put Sebastian at ease.

She shuffled around the slightly confused officer and took turns shaking all of their hands, but she addressed Sebastian directly.

“Kurt said he thought he heard your voice. It’s nice to finally put a face to the name.”

“Likewise,” Sebastian agreed.

“Come. I’ll take you to see your boyfriend,” Lydia offered. She turned to the stout woman still standing by looking thoroughly dismissed. “And why don’t you take the statements of…”

“I’m Justice, and this is my girl Madeline,” Justice volunteered. “We’re friends of Kurt’s.”

Lydia nodded, motioning to the woman to hurry along. The female officer didn’t look particularly thrilled, but she didn’t argue, showing the couple to a nearby desk.

Lydia took Sebastian’s arm and led him through the maze of desks to an office tucked in the far back corner of the room. Through the partially cracked open door Sebastian could finally see Kurt, at least he could see his back from where he stood gazing out the window. His strong, beautiful Kurt, still holding it all together. Sebastian was tempted to rush past Lydia and take Kurt into his arms, hold him tight and never let him go, but he waited for the okay, holding onto bittersweet longing just a little bit longer.

When Sebastian entered the room, and Kurt turned his eyes on him, he no longer had a choice. Five strides was all it took to reunite Sebastian with the love of his life.


	29. Chapter 27

Sebastian held Kurt tight in his arms and kissed him – kissed all over his face, his neck, nosing past his shirt to reach his collarbone, covering every inch of skin he could possibly reach with tiny pecks and nibbles. Kurt giggled as Sebastian lifted him up slightly and brushed his shoulder lightly with eager lips. Every touch of his lips against Kurt’s skin seemed so precious to Sebastian now that he knew how easily it could be taken away.

“I thought…I didn’t know when I would see you again,” Kurt admitted, grabbing a hold of Sebastian’s face and trying to get a good look at Sebastian’s eyes. Sebastian wouldn’t let him. He knew what Kurt was searching for, and only Sebastian’s eyes would tell him. Those lightning bolt marks. But Kurt would have to wait. Sebastian wasn’t about to let this moment end. He had his Kurt back for as long as fate would allow, and Sebastian wanted to take advantage of it.

“So, do I get to take you out of here yet?” Sebastian asked between sweet pecks around Kurt’s jawline.

“Not just yet,” Kurt answered, the smile on his face spreading wider with each touch of Sebastian’s lips.

“Well, why the hell not?” Sebastian sucked on a sensitive spot on Kurt’s neck. Kurt wiggled and squirmed, trying to pull away, a little self-conscious of making out with his boyfriend while another person lingered in the room.

“An arrest report has been forwarded to the prosecutor already,” Lydia intervened, watching Sebastian assault his boyfriend with amusement. “We’re just waiting to hear back from her.”

“What’s the worst case scenario?” Sebastian asked, taking pity on Kurt and halting his attack momentarily. He settled down into one of the wooden chairs, sitting Kurt in his lap. He refused to be far from Kurt. He had been fighting to get to Kurt all day it seemed. He didn’t want to spend a single moment not touching him. He needed to keep Kurt close; he needed to keep him safe. Sebastian was afraid that if he let go of Kurt, even for just a second, someone might snatch him away again.

Lydia sighed, crossing her arms and leaning against the wall.

“Worst case scenario, the prosecutor ignores the mountain of evidence in favor of Kurt’s innocence and chooses to indict.”

“But, there’s no way that could happen?” Sebastian looked from Kurt’s downturned face to Lydia’s concerned one. “Is there?”

“I don’t believe so,” Lydia said, though the statement sounded open-ended.

“Okay…” Sebastian said, hoping for an explanation. “What’s the problem?”

“We’re…uh…not getting much sympathy here,” Kurt said, wrapping an arm around Sebastian’s shoulders, using him as an anchor.

Sebastian looked at the two again, his head starting to pound as a new surge of adrenaline rose up and coursed through him.

“You guys are going to have to explain to me exactly what that means, because I’m a little bit lost here.”

Lydia took the seat across from them, folding her hands on the desk in front of her and looking purposefully into Sebastian’s eyes, flinching only a bit at the fading lightning bolt marks that still remained, evidence of his harrowing ordeal.

“If Kurt was a woman going through these same set of circumstances,” Lydia explained, “then the case would have been referred to special victims, and most likely, we wouldn’t be sitting here right now.”

Sebastian sighed.

“Because they would have let Kurt walk already, is that what you’re telling me?”

“In a nutshell, yes,” she answered, gaze unwavering. “But right now, his case is being handled by criminal investigators, and even with everything we have here…” she gestured to numerous piles of manila folders sitting on the desk in front of her, “they’re still digging. They want to find something to charge Kurt with on the very real chance that the prosecution throws out the case.”

“But, they’re not going to find anything,” Sebastian argued. “Kurt hasn’t done anything wrong.”

Kurt looked down at his hand in his lap. He grabbed Sebastian’s hand and laced their fingers together, locking them tight and squeezing, trying to find comfort.

Lydia opened one of the manila folders and pulled out a photocopy of a newspaper article. She slid it across the table to Sebastian. Sebastian recognized it immediately.

_‘Local Resident Dead After Tragic Hit and Run’_

Sebastian didn’t have the time to read the whole article word for word when his brother had originally sent him a copy, but he remembered that in general it identified Dave as the victim of a car accident which had never been solved.

“Yeah, and…” Sebastian prompted, still lost in the conversation.

“Read the highlighted portion,” Lydia instructed.

Sebastian saw a few lines in the center highlighted in yellow. He read them over, mumbling over the words as he went.

“Witnesses reported seeing a man fleeing the scene. The suspect is said to be a tall, Caucasian male, in his early 20s, with overly pale skin, brown hair, and possibly blue or green eyes…”

Sebastian’s head popped up from the article.

“Wait a minute,” he said, the surge of adrenaline causing his bruised heart to pound painfully in his chest, “they don’t think…”

Lydia pulled another sheet of paper from the file and slid it across the table.

“This is the original sketch the police in Chicago comprised from witness statements after the accident.”

Sebastian had a sinking feeling in his stomach as he moved his eyes from Lydia’s drawn face to the sketch in front of him.

A crude sketch of a young man’s face stared back at him.

A face that could have been Chandler.

A face that looked a lot like Kurt.

Sebastian had to close his eyes to hold on to his sanity, which had slowly started to slip the moment he laid eyes on that sketch. The image swirled in his mind, features dividing, blending, melding, until Chandler’s face and Kurt’s face blurred, ceasing to be individual and becoming one.

“But…but they can’t think…I mean Kurt was here when…”

“If they wanted to make a case, even a circumstantial one, they could.” Lydia spoke plainly, laying out details that broke Sebastian’s heart, but her voice never lost that tone of superior confidence that he had started to depend on. “Kurt had problems with Dave. He took out a restraining order. He was abused, frightened for his life. At the time of Dave’s death, Kurt was pretty much off the radar. Yes, he bought the house, and we can get evidence of that timetable, but he didn’t have a 9 to 5 that he went to every day, and with no friends and no one to account for his whereabouts…it could be enough to get an extradition order at the very least.”

Kurt stayed quiet, focusing on the tangle of his fingers with Sebastian’s, glossing over words he had already heard.

Sebastian shook his head, at a loss for an appropriate reaction.

“I just don’t understand…” he said.

Two sharp knocks sounded, and the door to the office swung open.

“Oh good, the boyfriend’s here,” a surly voice muttered. Lydia breathed a long, frustrated sigh at the sound of heavy footsteps behind her. Kurt didn’t move, but Sebastian looked up and locked eyes with a husky man dressed in a suit and tie, thinning black hair combed fruitlessly over an obvious bald spot, dark brown eyes glaring at him and Kurt. Flanking him on both sides were two uniformed officers, a tall man and a shorter woman, who took places at the door as the man continued to enter the room. “Maybe we can wrap a few things up so I can get my office back.”

“It’s not _your_ office, Lieutenant Hornsby,” Lydia said flatly. “It belongs to the captain, and you know full well that I have permission to use it until the prosecutor arrives.”

“Yeah, about that,” the unpleasant man said with a smirk, “she just called. She’s running a little late. So, I thought maybe Mr. Hummel here would be willing to talk to me…”

“He has nothing to say,” Lydia interrupted. “We already told you everything you need to know.”

“I’m not talking about the shooting,” the man said, sitting next to Kurt and Sebastian, turning on them with a strange, inexplicable grin. “I’m talking about the mess in Chicago.”

“It doesn’t matter what you’re talking about…” Lydia leaned across the table, her voice low and stern, “he has nothing to say. He’s already made a statement about the shooting, which has been entered into record, and we have no intention of discussing a crime that he hasn’t been charged with, or that you can even prove he had any involvement in.”

“You see, Mr. Hummel,” the lieutenant continued, talking to Kurt’s bowed back and hanging head, heedless of Lydia’s protests, “truthfully, you’ll probably be walking out of this office today…Scott Free…”

That comment captured Kurt’s attention. He turned in Sebastian’s arms to meet the eyes boring holes into his back, muddy dark eyes filled with disdain.

“Really?” Kurt asked quietly.

“Yup,” the officer said in a clipped tone. “There’s more than enough evidence here to exonerate you.” The lieutenant turned to one of the folders on the table and picked it up. He opened it, fanning through the pages casually. “You have statements galore from neighbors, transcripts of several 9-1-1 calls, and if I’m correct, two character witnesses sitting in the waiting room right now ready to attest to your utter and total innocence.”

The information was reassuring, but the man’s acerbic tone alarmed Kurt on an almost primal level.

“Lieutenant,” Lydia said, moving to the opposite side of the table and standing protectively behind Kurt and Sebastian, “I don’t know what you’re getting at, but I’m warning you…”

The man’s eyes left Kurt to meet Lydia’s even stare.

“What?” he said in mock offense, eyes opened wide in an attempt to look innocent, mouth slightly agape. “I’m just asking for a little help here…”

“Lieutenant…” Lydia repeated.

“Just tell me why, Kurt,” Lieutenant Hornsby persisted.

“He’s already told you everything you need to know.” Lydia put a hand on Kurt’s arm, which still rested on Sebastian’s shoulders. She held onto him securely as she stared the officer down with a look of fire and venom.

“That’s right,” Lieutenant Hornsby agreed. “He was abused, right? Abused and beaten by a man who conveniently ends up dead at the same time you disappear for three years…”

Kurt drew in a breath to argue, but Lydia got to it first.

“Kurt has already told you in his statement that Chandler admitted to that crime…”

“That’s what Mr. Hummel says,” the officer countered. “But we can’t question Chandler ourselves, can we?”

The lieutenant shot Kurt a look that froze him from head to toe. It didn’t matter what Kurt said in his own defense, Kurt realized. This man wanted Kurt behind bars, and he was willing to do or say anything to see that happen.

“But I was there,” Sebastian spoke up, his own green eyes hard and set like ocean colored glass. “I heard Chandler admit to it.”

Sebastian hadn’t actually heard a thing over the ringing in his ears, and his body’s constant attempts to keep him blissfully unconscious, but with his poker face in place, he made a convincing enough admission to make the lieutenant stop in his tracks and take a pause.

Just as quickly, though, he brushed it aside.

“You’re his boyfriend,” Lieutenant Hornsby reasoned. “You could be making that up. Besides, from what I hear, you were fairly incapacitated. You’re unreliable as a witness.”

Kurt ducked his head, but Lieutenant Hornsby still managed to catch and hold his gaze.

“You, see, Mr. Hummel, everyone keeps telling me how you had no choice, how you did the right thing, but I need _you_ to tell me that letting you go would be the right thing to do.”

“Again,” Lydia intervened, taking Kurt’s arm and pulling him from Sebastian’s lap out of the chair, “he doesn’t need to tell you anything. This little interview of yours is over, and I’m moving my client to a different office.”

Sebastian stood, following Kurt and Lydia, staying close behind Kurt to block the lieutenant from further interacting with his boyfriend.

“Tell me, just to clear my conscience, Mr. Hummel. So I can sleep at night…”

“Your sleeping habits are not my client’s concern,” Lydia shot back, quickly collecting the files on the desk and shoving them into her bag.

Sebastian held both of Kurt’s arms as he stood behind him, keeping him grounded while Lieutenant Hornsby railed on. The man tried to lean in closer, around Sebastian’s shielding body. “Say something…anything that tells me that you had no other recourse in this world than to empty an entire clip full of bullets into a man that I have no evidence of doing anything worse in his life than getting a parking ticket.”

Lydia rounded on the lieutenant.

“Lieutenant Hornsby,” she said, fighting now to keep that even, practiced tone of complete and utter control, “I advise you to stop talking to my client right now. I have more than enough from this conversation alone to file a suit against this whole department for harassment, discrimination…”

Kurt flicked his eyes up to the officer’s face, and for the first time, the expression on the older man’s features shifted as he caught sight of the pain in Kurt’s blue eyes.

“Three years ago,” Kurt said quietly, turning to walk past Sebastian and face his accuser more fully, “I was living with a man I thought cared about me…” Kurt swallowed hard, pushing away the bitter taste that talking about those memories conjured. “But I was wrong. He raped me, beat me, controlled my life.” Kurt didn’t realize he was walking slowly as he spoke, backing the officer towards the wall. “He put me in the hospital, and I almost died. I ran away from him and never looked back. I hid, and every night I was afraid that he would find me. I never got a good night’s sleep…I saw him in every shadow…and Chandler, he knew all of this. He knew this was the way to get to me. He almost broke my ankle. He stalked me. He destroyed my peace and solitude. He was going to take me away from everything I had built for myself, from the man that I love…”

Lieutenant Hornsby spared a glance from Kurt’s eyes to the officers at the door, both looking enthralled and amused at the pale, frail man backing their superior into a corner.

The officer considered his next move carefully, hoping to disarm Kurt, or at the very least, get him to back down.

He raised his hands in surrender.

“Please forgive me if I say that I’m not really convinced,” he said with a cruel smirk on his thin lips. “I mean, you’re a strapping young man. You don’t necessarily strike me as a victim of abuse.”

Lydia gasped, horrified by the man’s gall. The officers at the door lost their amused grins, and to their benefit they seemed affronted that their lieutenant would make such a statement, regardless of his personal beliefs or not.

“That’s it!” Lydia roared, her calm façade shattering. “This is over! I hope you enjoyed having this job, lieutenant, because in five minutes you’re about to be unemployed!”

Lydia grabbed her cell phone, fingers dialing furiously as she dropped her messenger bag along with her other files and paperwork absently to the desk. Sebastian rushed to Kurt, preparing to pull his boyfriend away. The officer’s eyes bore down on Kurt smugly. Kurt matched his smug stare, refusing to yield to another man who seemed so determined to put labels on him, to look at him incredulously, or consider him weak. Kurt gently shrugged out of Sebastian’s grasp. He confronted the officer silently, eye to eye, searching out any small glint of compassion or understanding in their cynical depths. When he didn’t see any he unbuttoned his shirt, quickly pulling the tails from his waistband and shrugged it off his shoulders. Sebastian caught it before it hit the floor.

“No, Kurt,” Sebastian said, eyes wide as he watched Kurt pull his t-shirt over his head, “you don’t have to…he’s not worth…”

But the deed was done. He had turned his back to the officer. The lieutenant’s smug smile disappeared. His face lost all of its color. He swallowed hard and tried to take a step back. Lydia hurried over to Kurt as well, cell phone still in hand as she talked animatedly, but stopped mid-sentence when she caught sight of Kurt’s back, the mass of scar tissue outlining old burns and bruises.

No one in the room moved. No one spoke. Lydia and the other officers barely breathed. Eyes wide and unblinking, they took in the spectacle that was Kurt’s pain. His alibi.

The door opened suddenly, breaking through the silence. A statuesque blonde woman in a gray suit entered the room.

“I’m sorry I’m late,” the woman said, dropping her briefcase on the desk, a file in her hands, “but I…”

She stopped at the scene before her. The male officer standing guard at the door had joined the lieutenant, stunned and speechless at the menagerie of marks on Kurt’s back. The female officer with hidden marks of her own left the room, a hand pressed to her quivering lips. Sebastian started to feel the weight of several eyes staring at his boyfriend’s bare back and he became incensed. He wrapped himself around Kurt, shielding him with long arms over damaged skin.

“Now you’ve seen it,” Sebastian said through gritted teeth as he fumbled with the blue shirt, trying to cover Kurt completely from their judgmental eyes. “Does that look abused enough for you?”

“I…” the blonde woman stuttered, trying to recover her composure, “I’m A.D.A. Simpson,” she said, her eyes still focused on the blue fabric where the marks had been. Kurt huddled close to Sebastian while Sebastian slid the shirt over Kurt’s arms, buttoning the shirt quickly as he continued to stare down the admonished-looking lieutenant.

“I came to tell you that we will not be pursuing your case, Mr. Hummel,” Ms. Simpson continued. “In light of new evidence, you are cleared of any and all charges. You are free to go.”

Sebastian’s eyes met hers.

“What do you mean, free to go?” he asked skeptically.

“New evidence?” Lydia stepped forward, reaching for the folder A.D.A. Simpson held out to her.

“Chandler Kiehl wasn’t just any average lovesick stalker,” Ms. Simpson explained. “After a little extensive digging we found he was wanted in connection with almost twelve different cases of torture and murder. It was hard connecting him to these crimes because until recently there were no witnesses.”

“Until recently?” Kurt parroted softly, turning to face Ms. Simpson for the first time.

“A thirteenth case,” Lydia explained, reading over the documents. “A little over a month ago. The victim survived and gave a full statement. Apparently, Chandler confessed his crime spree to this man, too, just like he did to you.”

“B-but he’s okay?” Kurt stuttered, turning to Lydia with a tiny glimmer of hope in his voice, hope that he could wash away a drop of the blood that stained his hands.

“Yeah.” Lydia closed the file, handing it back to Ms. Simpson. “But he’ll never walk again.”

Kurt’s face crumbled as he turned back into Sebastian’s embrace.

“Can we please go now?” he muttered, his voice muffled by Sebastian’s shirt. Sebastian ran a soothing hand up and down Kurt’s spine, folding him into his arms.

Lydia shot a questioning look to the A.D.A. Ms. Simpson watched Sebastian hold Kurt for a moment longer. She nodded, her soft expression sympathetic to the two men who held each other quietly.

“There’s some final paperwork that needs to be signed, but after that you are free to go.”

 

* * *

 

Document after document dropped in front of Kurt, one after the other, each replaced with immediately the moment he scrawled his name with another…then another…and another. Lydia tried to explain the contents of each document quickly in an effort to get Kurt released, and for that he was grateful. After the tenth piece of paper was shoved in front of him, Kurt wasn’t even sure it was his name he was signing. He knew he had added an extra ‘m’ to his last name somewhere along the line, and hoped that wouldn’t bite him in the ass later on.

By the time he finished signing and initialing every piece of paper they could think of to throw at him, Kurt could hardly believe they would actually let him just go.

“Here’s my card,” Lydia said, handing Kurt a small, light blue colored business card with an ornate D covering one side. “If you ever need anything, feel free to call me, day or night.”

Kurt looked the card over completely before sticking it deep into his pocket, making sure he kept it safe. “And this,” she said, handing him another less elaborately decorated business card, “is the number to the Gay and Lesbian Anti-Violence Project. They have counselors who can help if you need to talk to someone.”

Kurt looked the card over.

“I’m amazed that this town would even have a place like this,” he said, sliding the card carefully into his pocket with the first.

“Well, we manage to survive thanks to generous private donations,” Lydia said smiling with a wink aimed in Sebastian’s direction. Kurt looked up at him, and Sebastian rolled his eyes, his cheeks coloring slightly. Lydia offered Sebastian her hand, and he shook it.

“I meant to say,” Sebastian started, “I’m sorry I interrupted your conference with…”

Lydia waved a hand in front of her face.

“It was actually just lunch with my girlfriend. She works in my office, so we do it every day. I guess I could afford to miss one for a good cause. ”

Sebastian nodded, holding Kurt tight in his arms from behind.

“Tell her we say thank you,” Kurt offered, and Lydia winked at him as well.

“Will do. Come on…” Lydia waved them on, “let me walk you out to join your friends. Last I checked, they were still sitting out there.”

“Oh no,” Kurt gasped, glancing at the clock on the wall and noticing just how late it was. “Poor Justice and Madeline. They’ve been here forever.”

“I’m sure they’ll forgive you,” Sebastian said with a laugh.

“Well, I just hope they didn’t have the coffee,” Lydia commented, “because the stuff out there’s horrible.”

Lydia shook hands with the prosecutor, making a promise to grab drinks together later in the week. On the way out the door, they passed Lieutenant Hornsby, gathering papers together, and stamping them with the date along with block letters which read ‘CASE CLOSED’. She leaned down close when he caught her eye.

“This isn’t over between you and me,” she promised darkly. “Not by a long shot.”

 

* * *

 

By the time Kurt and Sebastian met up with Madeline and Justice, the sun had long set, and a new collection of officers were working the desks and manning the phones. Madeline wrapped her arms around Kurt, her perfectly lined eyes smeared and bloodshot from crying. Justice clamped a hand on Sebastian’s shoulder, pulling him into a half hug. There they stood in the waiting area, locked in one another’s arms, breathing together a collective sigh of relief.

Justice led the tired group to the car, still locked together with arms looped through arms or draped across shoulders. Everyone climbed inside, buckling their seat belts quietly – Sebastian and Kurt done with talking for a while, Justice and Madeline with nothing they could think of to say.

They stopped at a steak house a few miles from the police station. The tired and hungry troupe tried their hands at normality – a nice dinner and a little friendly small talk, but the events of the day loomed over their heads, and no matter how hard they tried, they would inadvertently fall silent, consumed by their own individual thoughts. Several times in the middle of eating dinner, Kurt would come to a full stop, often times with his fork poised in the air on the way to his slightly open mouth, his eyes suddenly clouded over, his lower lip trembling. A gentle pat on the shoulder or Sebastian’s hand on his knee was enough to snap Kurt back to the present, but halfway into the meal Sebastian noticed that Kurt drifted away more times than he ate.

They packed up their meals half-eaten. Justice and Madeline drove Kurt and Sebastian back to the extravagant hotel where a room still waited for them.

“Call me up when you want to go pick up your car,” Justice offered before bidding Sebastian goodbye, driving away with an exhausted Madeline already asleep in the front seat.

Sebastian led a dazed and drowsy Kurt through the lobby and up the elevator. Kurt trudged along on heavy feet down the carpeted hallway to their suite. He was almost asleep on his feet as he stood swaying in the doorway. Sebastian took Kurt’s hand and gently snaked an arm around his waist. He pulled Kurt inside and locked the door behind them. Sebastian led his boyfriend to the bathroom and undressed him. He turned the hot water and the jets on, and helped Kurt into the tub. Sebastian quickly stripped off his own clothes, tossing everything aside and out of sight, then joined Kurt in the filling bath.

Kurt said nothing. He barely moved. He simply sat in Sebastian’s lap, surrounded by the steaming water, and succumbed to Sebastian’s attentions. Sebastian washed him carefully, kissing him tenderly on the face and neck, not pushing, not asking Kurt for anything in return.

After the bath, Sebastian dried him, covered him in lotion, and put him to bed. Sebastian climbed beneath the covers behind him, wrapped his arms around him, and held him.

Sebastian left a single light on so that they wouldn’t be entombed in total darkness as they drifted off to sleep. He thought for sure that Kurt would knock out immediately and sleep for the whole night, but neither man was so lucky. Sebastian became immediately locked in his own nightmare of trying to get to Kurt before Chandler could hurt him…and failing. But he was jarred from this agony abruptly by the sound of Kurt screaming his name. Kurt clawed at the blankets, trying hard to pull away from Sebastian’s arms, eyes wide with panic as he tried to reach a phantom image of the man he loved, lying paralyzed on the floor.

“Kurt,” Sebastian whispered as he shook his boyfriend gently. “Kurt, wake up.”

Kurt heard Sebastian’s voice and became still. He turned his head, confused by the closeness of the sound.

Kurt attacked him, flailing with his fists, pounding at his chest, screaming like someone being stabbed repeatedly in the heart.

“Kurt!” Sebastian whispered directly into his ear. “Kurt, baby, wake up. It’s me. I’m right here.”

Sebastian held Kurt tight, trying to stop the swinging of his fists, and the way his whole body twisted unnaturally in Sebastian’s arms.

“Please, baby,” Sebastian murmured, trying to keep his voice calm and soothing, “please, I need you to wake up.”

Kurt began losing steam. His fists ceased to connect with Sebastian’s chest and he dissolved into wracking sobs in Sebastian’s arms.

Kurt’s eyes fell closed, but he blinked them open a short time later, and without a word Sebastian knew that Kurt wasn’t going back to sleep, which suited Sebastian just fine. After just two hours of solid nightmares, he felt he had slept enough.

For the next few days they stayed like this, wrapped up in each other’s arms, lying in bed, only getting up when room service brought them their food or they needed to use the bathroom. They barely slept during the night, opting instead to nap for a few hours in the afternoon, since the light of day shining on their eyes seemed to keep the terror at bay.

During one of Kurt’s naps Sebastian managed to use his iPhone to text his brother, letting him know about the horrible attack and the criminal investigation that ensued. Richard called back immediately, eager to hear the whole story from beginning to end from Sebastian’s own lips. It felt good to have his brother available to confide in. He knew Justice and Madeline would talk to him about anything, but they were almost as involved in this situation as he was. His brother was an outside party. Reliving the details with Richard was painful, but cathartic. He talked with his brother for hours over the phone. Afterward, he felt healed in a way that he hadn’t before, almost renewed.

Now he could work on mending Kurt.

Richard told Sebastian not to worry about a thing, the he had managed to smuggle a little more money into his account without their father being any the wiser. Sebastian had a suspicion that Richard might be paying back Sebastian’s inheritance with money from his own trust fund, but he didn’t say a word. He knew that even if it were true, Richard would just deny it. He hoped to someday find a way to pay back his brother’s undying support and overwhelming generosity.

Sebastian didn’t mind spending the day with Kurt cradled in his arms, but Kurt refused to speak, and the quiet started to get to him. It began to feel a little too reminiscent of those last few days he spent with his mother; too much time sitting in silence because he was a stranger to her, and her sometimes adolescent mind remembered that she shouldn’t talk to strangers.

So his attempts to bring Kurt back started with stories – anecdotes, fairy tales, anything he could think of.

“When I was seven,” Sebastian divulged, “my father bought these two champion Siamese cats…really beautiful animals. They were special. They had this really pale, creamy fur. God, he spent so much money on those little motherfuckers…” Sebastian chuckled, nuzzling his nose into the back of Kurt’s neck, inhaling the vanilla scent of his soft, chestnut-colored hair. “Well, one day I got pissed at my dad. I had this big championship soccer tournament…my first one ever and he missed it to go to some lunch meeting or something…something stupid and unimportant to kids. There were always so many of them, and they always got in the way of him spending time with us.” Sebastian adjusted his arms around Kurt’s body. “So, I caught those stupid cats and I shaved curse words into their fur. I shaved ‘fuck you’ onto one cat, and ‘shit’ onto another.”

Sebastian paused, seeing if Kurt might respond. When he didn’t, Sebastian continued.

“The shaved hair grew back in black, and man, was my dad mad! Like, fire breathing mad.” Sebastian gathered Kurt closer to him.

“But he didn’t ground me. He just…he just didn’t talk to me for a long time. The cats shed, and their fur came back all perfect, so you know, no harm done. I just never realized that I was less important than a cat.”

Sebastian sighed into the back of Kurt’s neck, and deep inside his chest, Kurt’s heart, frozen in fear and weighed down by inconsolable sorrow, began to melt.


	30. Chapter 28

Kurt felt trapped in a surreal lucid dream. Between imprisonment by Chandler, pretending to break up with Sebastian, witnessing Sebastian being tortured, killing a man, getting arrested, and then set free, his personality had divided somewhere along the way. He didn’t know how to feel. Which emotion should he surrender to? Could he just shove the pain and the hurt and the trauma behind him and start focusing on his new life? That’s what he wanted to do, but it seemed so callous, so inhuman in a way. No one would fault him if he did. The people in his life who truly mattered would forgive him for forgetting it all and putting in behind him.

In his head, he felt that he owed it to the human race to care more about it, to suffer over it, build an altar to it and linger there for a while.

Another part of him felt completely heartless – done with people, society, and the world in general. Evil existed on the planet; not just in movies and books, but real evil. It had shown up on his doorstep. It had threatened to take everything away from him. To top it off, a man whose job it was to protect him, to shield him from danger, wanted to put him behind bars, simply for who he was.

It was sometime during dinner when it all hit him. Eating his Cesar salad, he watched as people came and went, interacted, kissed over drinks, shared their meals, shared their lives. Children colored menus and babies cried, and he felt immune to all of it. He tried to smile when a baby laughed, and he couldn’t. He tried to feel sympathetic when a little girl fell on her way to her table, but he couldn’t find it in him to care. He saw a man and woman twine their arms together and drink out of champagne glasses, something that always made his heart flutter a little for the romance of it, and it didn’t affect him at all.

He had sworn he wouldn’t let this ordeal turn him into an emotionless non-human. What had changed?

He should be shouting from the rooftops. He broke away from all his prisons. He had Sebastian in his arms and a life with him to look forward to. He was finally free.

So why did he feel himself shutting down?

Pieces of him had scattered along the way and gone missing. Some of them had been pulled away forcefully. Some had dripped away slowly. The lieutenant’s words took a piece; having to relive his pain and expose himself in front of so many people had yanked free another. Chandler had stolen a handful of pieces. Kurt still didn’t know how he would live with the knowledge that Chandler had killed at least twelve people in his efforts to get to him – twelve people dead because of Kurt.

Kurt had torn out a few himself. Killing someone – even an evil someone – was too fresh for Kurt to just ignore.

Then he had to take into account the pieces that had been gone for a while.

Blaine had a piece.

Dave had taken more pieces than anyone should be allowed to have of another person.

Adam had a piece, even though Kurt didn’t know until recently where that one went.

Not seeing his father for three years had dissolved a piece.

Missing Finn’s funeral had robbed Kurt of an irretrievable piece. That hole would never heal.

Now, ironically, for some morbid, self-defeating reason, he had started pushing Sebastian away. Until he let him back in, that was another piece gone. A gigantic one.

Kurt’s psyche had become skeletal – full of too many spaces and not enough skin.

He tried over the days to collect as many pieces as he had left and put them back together but he couldn’t. Whatever progress he made during the day, the nightmares tore it all apart. Sebastian couldn’t defeat the nightmares this time. Sebastian was now too big a part of them.

Kurt feared that Sebastian actually blamed him on some level for everything that had happened. More to the point, Kurt couldn’t imagine how Sebastian could not. Sebastian had spent the last few months hiding away with him from the outside world. Because of Kurt, Sebastian only really had two other friends. He had turned Sebastian into just as much of a recluse, a homebody as he was. And then Chandler…

Kurt thought for sure Sebastian would have enough of him at some point and just leave.

That thought kept him awake on the afternoon Sebastian had snuck out of bed to call his brother.

“This is it,” he thought. If Sebastian was going to spill the truth to anyone, it would be Richard.

But Sebastian didn’t blame Kurt at all. Not a single bit.

Kurt listened to Sebastian recount the whole horrifying experience in vivid detail. Kurt almost broke at the sound of unshed tears in Sebastian’s voice.

“God fucking shit, Richard,” Sebastian said. “…yeah, well, I’m a big enough man to admit when I’m scared, dickweed. Anyways…but Kurt…you should have seen him, Ricky…he was fearless. He saved my life. I wouldn’t be here if not for him…”

Kurt wanted so much to admit the truth to him then and there; to tell him he wasn’t brave at all. He was a coward. He had to save Sebastian because he was too afraid to face the rest of his life alone.

But Kurt was huddled too deep into the cave he had created for himself, he couldn’t have leapt out of the bed to hug Sebastian if he had tried, and that terrified him. If he removed himself from the world for too long, how would he ever find his way back?

Keeping still, keeping quiet had forced Sebastian to become his sole connection to the outside world, which still lived and breathed and moved without his participation in it. Sebastian fed him, bathed him, and kept him safe in his embrace. They spent long days together in bed while things like responsibility, jobs, and society ceased to exist. Kurt hoped that maybe time would stop for them all together, and they could exist in a place where intolerance, hate, and homophobia wouldn’t affect them. They could be selfish and care only about each other.

As Kurt listened to Sebastian’s almost endless storytelling, he realized with a pang of guilt that he wasn’t doing his share.

Sebastian took care of Kurt. Kurt had yet to return the favor.

He didn’t know how.

One night he discovered the answer. Like so many things in his relationship with Sebastian, it didn’t hit him over the head or fall out of the blue. This crept up on him slowly, in whispers, in words, with kisses and touches, and silent, heart-felt pleas.

“Richard was born a few months after I turned four, and I couldn’t stand it,” Sebastian confessed, talking softly into Kurt’s hair. “I had been so used to having my mom to myself. She took me everywhere. We were travel buddies. I thought that it would just be her and me against the world forever, and then all of a sudden there was the squishy human taking my place. I was so livid.”

Sebastian placed a kiss into Kurt’s hair; a habit he had developed when pausing to reconcile a particularly difficult memory.

“I never hurt him, but I used to hide him in places – laundry baskets, behind trash cans in the kitchen, with my toys. My mother always tried to convince me that someday we would be the best of friends and that we would need each other. We became friends, of course, obviously, but I don’t think I ever believed that I would _need_ him. But I guess she was right, huh? “

Kurt wanted to turn around and loop his arms around Sebastian’s neck, but he couldn’t make himself do it.

Sebastian sighed.

“Kurt,” Sebastian whispered, planting kisses across Kurt’s shoulder. “Kurt, we won. We beat the bad guy. You saved the day. And I know this is hard…and I know that you’re scared, but I feel like I’m losing you, gorgeous.”

Sebastian sniffled, fighting back a single tear that would open the gateway to a whole flood if he allowed it to fall.

“Now…” Sebastian steadied his voice as he continued. “I want to get our life started, baby…whatever that takes. Counseling, therapy, experimental medications, mud soaks on obscure mountaintops in Turkey…”

Without meaning to let it happen, a small smile split Kurt’s lips. He continued to listen.

“I’ll take you anywhere you want to go, Kurt. We’ll do whatever you want to do. Write me up a list, and we’ll do everything on it. I have a list, too, you know, but it mostly includes public places I intend on having sex with you, so I’m sure the two will meld quite nicely…”

Kurt bit his lower lip hard to stifle a laugh, but Sebastian felt it; the almost imperceptible shake of Kurt’s body as it wanted to break into a fit of giggles.

Sebastian smiled, trying to imagine what he could say that would break Kurt further out of his funk.

“…but if you want to spend the rest of our lives here in this bed, I’ll do that, too. I don’t think it’s lived up to its full potential yet…”

Sebastian bounced the bed a few times with Kurt in his arms. That almost did it, but Kurt caught himself and swallowed his laugh quickly.

“Also,” Sebastian whispered, leaning into Kurt’s ear and licking suggestively over the delicate shell, “when you nap, I watch a lot of porn…and I mean a _lot_ of porn. And I have a few ideas that I wanted to try out on you…” His hands roamed over Kurt’s body in a playfully salacious manner, tracing his collarbone, tweaking his nipples, and grabbing hold of his cock until Kurt yelped, not able to contain his laughter anymore.

Kurt turned in Sebastian’s arms.

Sebastian’s smile turned sweet and bashful as he looked into his boyfriend’s crystal blue eyes.

“Oh,” Sebastian said, “there you are.”

“Yeah,” Kurt said. “I’m so sor-“

Sebastian captured his apology with a kiss, covering Kurt’s mouth with his own for the first time in over a week, savoring the look of shock in Kurt’s bright eyes before his eyelids fluttered shut and he melted against Sebastian’s body.

“No apologies,” Sebastian admonished gently. “Not a single one, do you understand?”

“But…”

Another kiss silenced Kurt quite effectively.

“You’re my hero, Kurt,” Sebastian whispered against Kurt’s lips. “You saved my life. A few days of being catatonic doesn’t erase any of that.”

“But…you saved _my_ life, too,” Kurt argued. “If you hadn’t come back…if you didn’t break down the door…”

Sebastian placed a few gentle fingers to Kurt’s lips to quiet him.

“I’m not just talking about…that,” Sebastian said delicately, not wanting to drum up a single memory of their capture by Chandler. “I’m talking about the last few months…every day that I’ve known you.”

Sebastian rolled onto his back, rolling Kurt on top of him. Sebastian moaned softly beneath Kurt’s weight laying over him.

“I fucking love you, Kurt,” Sebastian said finally, pulling Kurt down with a hand to the nape of his neck into a searing kiss, this one full of want and need, a desire to take Kurt, body and heart and soul to make them whole again.

Kurt pulled away slowly, giving himself enough distance to look into Sebastian’s unblemished emerald eyes and smiled.

“I fucking love you, too.” Kurt chuckled at the sound of the sentence as it passed between his lips.

Kurt didn’t make a conscious decision. His body simply began to move above Sebastian’s. He slid against him more by instinct than intention, just returning to a natural order of things, a way back to their life, side-stepping the large obstacle of the past week and leaving it far behind. Kurt leaned over Sebastian’s body and pressed against him, craving the feeling of Sebastian’s skin against his. He smiled when Sebastian moaned, long and low, a sound of such intense satisfaction that Kurt knew it had bought him at least three years out of purgatory.

“There’s my gorgeous boyfriend,” Sebastian murmured. He bent his legs up at the knees to cage Kurt in. Placing a gentle kiss to Kurt’s forehead, he took over. He positioned a hand at Kurt’s lower back to hold him and rutted against him, rolling his hips up to meet Kurt’s as Kurt relaxed into the smooth movements of Sebastian’s body. It seemed like an eternity since Sebastian last felt Kurt tremble in his arms – a situation Sebastian swore to rectify today a thousand times over. After such a long hiatus of not having each other, it didn’t take much to make Kurt fall apart on top of him, but Sebastian tried his hardest to make this moment of ecstasy last as long as he could. But Kurt’s small breathy moans were too delicious, and the way he moved to meet Sebastian’s thrusts, charmingly tentative with just a little touch of heat, as if he were rediscovering Sebastian’s body all over again, completely did him in.

Sebastian felt like a fumbling teenaged boy, cumming so quickly, but his pride recovered a bit when Kurt quickly followed, stilling in Sebastian’s arms, letting Sebastian have him just the way that he wanted him – shuddering and gasping, trapped in his arms, a little tortured as Sebastian continued to move against him, even after he whimpered from the oversensitivity of his cock.

“God I missed this,” Sebastian growled, biting Kurt’s neck possessively. “I missed having you like this, hot and naked, your body all over me...”

Sebastian couldn’t help himself, grabbing Kurt roughly, sucking over sensitive skin until marks bloomed on his pale chest. He wanted another go at Kurt, and Kurt didn’t push him away. He needed Sebastian, too, more now than he ever remembered. But he also knew they needed to talk. They had to plan for a life that existed outside their hotel room.

“What do you want to do?” Kurt said, barely whispering as Sebastian bathed Kurt’s nipple with long, drawn out licks from his tongue.

“Well, I was kind of hoping we could do that again,” Sebastian said, flipping Kurt onto his back and hovering over him, not pinning him to the mattress, but not letting him up either.

“No,” Kurt chuckled, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as Sebastian began blazing a trail down Kurt’s body, straight for his cock, which fought against exhaustion to become hard again. “No, I meant, what do you want to do…”

“I don’t care, Kurt,” Sebastian said between kisses along Kurt’s abs ending in licks down the inside of his thighs. “I don’t care what we do or where we go as long as I’m with you.”

Kurt giggled when Sebastian traced circles along the tickling skin behind his knees.

“Well, I’ve kind of been giving this some thought _ooh_ …”

Kurt closed his eyes to absorb the sensation of Sebastian’s hot, silky tongue licking thick stripes from the base of his cock to the head.

“What thoughts, angel?” Sebastian asked innocently between licks.

“We should…" Kurt stopped speaking entirely when Sebastian took him slowly into his mouth. Every plan, every bright idea flew straight from his head, and all that existed was Sebastian’s perfect mouth and his talented tongue, straightening the kinks, erasing the pain, filling the gaps.

It devastated Kurt when Sebastian suddenly stopped.

“You were saying, gorgeous,” Sebastian asked, pulling away briefly to fix Kurt with a questioning look.

"Um…we're going to have way more sex...”

Sebastian’s mouth was back on him, and Kurt closed his eyes, trying to concentrate.

“We're going to shower...”

Sebastian hummed.

"Sounds good," Sebastian said, teasing the head of Kurt’s cock with tiny licks and shallow sucks. "But what about after that?"

Sebastian let his hands roam around Kurt's hips, finding his ass and squeezing fondly. He pulled Kurt’s hips closer, taking him down his throat to the hilt. Kurt keened loudly, arching his back as Sebastian swallowed around him.

"Nngh," Kurt groaned, savoring the feel of Sebastian’s tongue as it wrapped around him. "Then we're going to sell my house and everything fucking in it."

Sebastian loved it when Kurt cursed, and rewarded him with a playful spank. Kurt bit his lip.

"I have 180 days of unused vacation time, and a bank account I barely touch. I can work anywhere, so let's just go...you and me..."

“Where should we go?” Sebastian asked, opting to talk around Kurt’s cock instead of pulling off entirely. Kurt giggled as the vibrations made their way up his shaft and sent a strange, erotic sensation shoot all over his body.

"Nngh…I don’t care. But, wherever we go, we'll take the long way," Kurt continued. Sebastian grabbed Kurt's hands and held them gently, loosely at the wrists, just enough to keep him immobile.

“The long way?"

"You know…" Kurt started to move his hips, fucking into Sebastian’s glorious mouth. "Across America, and then abroad…Paris…London…China..."

Sebastian sighed, elated at the prospect of exploring the world with Kurt.

Kurt squeezed his eyes tight as he felt himself get close.

“Oh, God, Sebastian,” Kurt moaned into the air, “won’t you let me fuck you?”

Sebastian climbed up his body quickly, kissing his lips, sliding against him, molding himself to Kurt’s body, loving the feeling of completeness that came with every inch of flesh pressed against him.

“Make love to me instead?” Sebastian pleaded gently.

Kurt's eyes glowed with love when he opened them again.

Kurt smiled.

"I think I can do that," Kurt said.

 

* * *

 

Kurt gave Sebastian full reign to manage selling his house. He wanted no part in any of it. Sebastian would handle getting it prepared and finding a realtor. All Kurt had to do was go through and label the things he wanted packed up, but that wouldn’t happen until the remains of his old house were completely wiped away and the domicile became a neutral place, indistinguishable from any other suburban dwelling.

Sebastian called Lydia to make sure that Kurt’s house was no longer a crime scene. As soon as he got the go ahead from Lydia, he hit the ground running. He hired a crime scene clean-up crew to completely eliminate any traces of blood on the floor, the walls, or the furniture. Once they did their job, Justice helped Sebastian hire carpenters, painters, landscapers, everybody and anybody who could help transform the little yellow prison into something fresh and new – to give it a new life.

The iron fence came down, replaced by a more decorative retaining wall. The outside stucco was repainted a pale blue with slight grey undertones. Sebastian had the vintage door, cracked and broken, strong grains reduced to nothing but splinters, replaced with a new, fabricated door – white, plain, and otherwise featureless, with absolutely no history - nothing special about it whatsoever. Windows were replaced and shutters installed. Landscapers leveled the soil in the garden and planted ornamental flowers and low-growing shrubs, keeping to indigenous floral species and using nothing invasive. Decorative mulch was layered over bare ground. It looked clean and neat, and very cookie cutter, Sebastian had to admit – a far cry from the eclectic collection of flowers and vegetables Kurt had grown and tended so lovingly. Whatever seeds from Kurt’s original crop of endangered vegetables could be salvaged had been collected early on by a grateful group of ladies from a local horticultural society, who promised Sebastian that they would all end up in good hands.

Madeline often occupied Kurt with long lunches at some of his favorite spots and shopping trips to the mall. Sebastian thought it best that they spend as much time together as possible since he had no idea when they would see Madeline and Justice again. Once Sebastian had informed their friends of their plans to pack up and leave, Madeline and Just had revealed a similar scheme – to follow through on their dream of returning to the little village where Justice was born and raised, and try to start a life there.

Days of work went into fixing and repairing the house. While workers redid the outside, Sebastian and Justice worked inside, packing up Kurt’s clothes, toiletries from the bathroom, and his piles of work from his office and brought them back to the hotel. Sebastian did most of the running back and forth with Kurt’s things, enjoying the feeling of being reacquainted with his beloved Porsche. Kurt had yet to take a ride, and Sebastian was salivating with the prospects of getting his sexy boyfriend into the seat of his hot car.

Most of Kurt’s furniture had already been sold on Craigslist or taken to the Salvation Army. Sebastian figured that having a small yard sale would help get rid of the odds and ends and earn Kurt a few bucks to boot. Only knick-knacks, small appliances, and the contents of Kurt’s Tomb of Anubis remained.

It was time for Kurt to return home one last time.

 

* * *

 

“I’m nervous,” Kurt rambled while he fumbled with his shoelaces. “I am genuinely nervous. Why am I so nervous? This is ridiculous. It’s just a house, right? I used to live there. I should be okay going back to it. I mean, you said it looks completely different now, right? And this is necessary. I…”

Sebastian backed Kurt up against the wall and kissed him, soft but commanding, leading the way when Kurt might otherwise falter.

“It’s just a house,” Sebastian whispered. “We’re not going to be there long…” Sebastian pressed gentle lips to Kurt’s skin. “Just long enough to pack up some things…sell some crap…take a few pictures for the realtor…and then we’re gone…”

“Gone for good?” Kurt said as Sebastian lips lingered, preparing for another kiss.

“Gone for good, gorgeous.” Sebastian’s kisses were a heaven Kurt didn’t want to be far from. Lingering in the heat of Sebastian’s mouth was more than good enough reason for Kurt to leave everything he once loved behind. But returning to the house was a necessary evil.

On some level Kurt realized it would give him closure.

He had to say good-bye.

“Now, get your sweet ass into my car …”

_Kiss on the lips._

“…so we can get this over with…”

_Kiss below the ear._

“…get back here…”

_Kiss on the neck._

“…and fuck for the rest of the afternoon.”

Sebastian ran his tongue down Kurt’s neck to his shoulder, rubbing lightly over Kurt’s nipples with his fingertips through his Ralph Lauren t-shirt. Kurt sighed. It sounded too good to turn down.

Besides, he had been dying since day one to sit inside Sebastian’s Porsche.

 

* * *

 

Sebastian wanted to take full advantage of the drive over to Kurt’s house. He wanted to have one hand on the steering wheel, and one hand down Kurt’s tight as ever skinny jeans, stroking over his hard cock, relieving him of all of his worries and his tension, but he didn’t. He knew his friends would be waiting for them to arrive and held with this final step, and he didn’t want Kurt to feel self-conscious or uncomfortable. Still, he couldn’t help resting a hand on Kurt’s knee, feeling him vibrate in the seat of the car as they rolled along, engine purring as it shifted, cornering as if on rails, propelling them along. People stopped and stared as they drove through the tiny neighborhood, narrowing their eyes and peering through the windows, trying to recognize who might be sitting behind the lightly tinted windows.

“This car is incredible!” Kurt panted when Sebastian pulled up to the curb and killed the engine.

“Imagine what it’s going to be like driving cross country in this baby,” Sebastian smirked, giving in to temptation and pulling Kurt in for a hungry, long-overdue kiss.

Kissing Kurt in his car was something he could now mark off his bucket list.

Rapid fire knocking on the passenger’s side window interrupted their impromptu make-out session.

“Come on, come on, come on!” Madeline’s muffled voice beckoned at them through the window. “Kurt! You have to come out here and see!”

Kurt turned and got an eyeful of Madeline’s ample cleavage from where she stood beside the car on the curb.

“Aah!” Kurt screamed in mock terror. “God, no! I think I’ve seen enough!”

“Pfft!” Madeline yanked the door open, and pulled Kurt out of the car hard enough to dislocate his shoulder.

“Ouch, woman!” he wailed. “What the hell’s your…hurry…”

Kurt’s words fell abruptly as he laid eyes on what used to be his house. Except for the shape of the house, and the layout of the property, Kurt could barely recognize it as having been his. Even though the house had been painted a slightly darker color, it seemed brighter, more cheerful somehow. Innocent and new – that’s how he thought it felt. No large black fence keeping it hidden. No thick wooden door obscuring its beauty. Nothing dark and complicated tainted it. It finally looked like the thing it could never be for Kurt.

It looked like a home.

“Who…” Kurt wasn’t even sure what he was asking, but Madeline answered him anyway.

“Sebastian did it,” she replied. “All of it. He picked all the colors, hired everyone to fix it up. It was all his idea.”

Sebastian took Kurt’s hand and kissed it, rubbing the soft skin of Kurt’s hand against his cheek.

“Would you like to look inside?” Sebastian offered. Kurt’s hand immediately tightened around his in response.

“It’s okay, gorgeous,” Sebastian said with another kiss. “It’s almost completely empty in there. Everything that’s left is gathered in the living room waiting for you to go through it. I promise. It’s just a house…remember?”

“Yeah, that’s what we said last time,” Kurt joked, still unable to ease his grip on Sebastian’s hand. Sebastian moved to stand in front of him, catching his gaze with soothing emerald eyes.

“But this time, I’m not going to leave you,” Sebastian promised. “Not for a second. Not unless you want me to. I’m here. We’re all right here.” Sebastian took a moment to glance around at Justice and Madeline, busy setting up folding card tables and making signs for the yard sale.

Kurt nodded, a small, crooked half grin twisting his mouth.

“Okay,” he whispered. “Let’s go inside.”

Sebastian tucked Kurt’s hand into the crook of his elbow and led him past the retaining wall to the new white door of the house. Sebastian turned the antique brass Georgian knob and pushed. The door swung open slowly. Kurt closed his eyes as he walked inside, not yet prepared to see his house again. When he heard Sebastian close the door behind him, he opened his eyes, one at a time.

What he saw before him was surprisingly unfamiliar. It didn’t look anything like his house. It didn’t even look the way it had when he originally bought it. The floor shined like a mirror, as did the wooden banister, and all the walls he could see were painted white. No frames hung from the walls, no photos or pictures or carefully calligraphied words. He saw the remaining contents of the upstairs rooms gathered in the center of the floor, but not the stand alone wardrobe. The clothes that hung inside were stacked into a neat pile on top of some boxes, and the wardrobe sold with the rest of the furniture days ago.

Kurt made his way to the staircase and walked up, almost afraid to touch the polished wood and leave fingerprints. He stepped into the hallway. All of the doors hung open a crack, light pouring in from open windows. More white walls, more carefully polished wood, everything fresh and sterile…just like he wanted.

This house would morph into someone else’s new start.

Not his, but someone else.

He walked down the hallway, peeking into each room, taking in the empty space, letting the void wash through him. He didn’t live here anymore. These walls wouldn’t contain him any longer.

In fact, where he planned on going, there would be no walls.

Traveling the world and wide open spaces.

No iron fences. No elaborate alarm systems.

No fear of the dark.

Just his manuscript and his laptop with Sebastian and his camera.

Sebastian found Kurt in the vacant room where his ghosts had hidden, locked up for so long. He looked out the window at the newly landscaped back yard. Sebastian couldn’t tell if Kurt was laughing or crying.

“Kurt?” Sebastian called softly to the man leaning his forehead against the window. “Are you okay?”

“Okay?” Kurt breathed, his voice thick with happy tears. “I’m better than okay.”

Kurt turned to Sebastian.

“I’m fantastic!”

Sebastian met Kurt halfway, lifting him up in his arms and spinning him around in dizzying circles around the slick floor of the spiritless room.

“So, should we violate this room one time before we sell the fucker?” Sebastian asked, gnawing gentle on Kurt’s exposed neck.

“It’s tempting,” Kurt answered honestly, eyes sweeping the large exposed room, “but no. Let’s just get this over with and get out of here.”

 

* * *

 

Madeline wore the shortest possible denim shorts and tightest white V-neck t-shirt Kurt had ever seen on a human being, which is probably how she managed to lure most of the neighborhood and half the town down to Kurt’s house for the yard sale. The front yard had become a constant hub of activity. Some people came to shop the last of Kurt’s collectibles, some came simply to socialize with the neighbor they barely got to know. Even before the last tchotchke had walked away in the hands of some odd, overweight man wearing sweatpants and a too tight “Frankie Says Relax” retro t-shirt, Kurt was a blubbering mess. He had hugged more people than he had ever known in his life, and had received three cakes, a Jell-O mold, and about four dozen chocolate chip cookies.

Everyone seemed sad to see their reclusive neighbor leave.

“What are you going to do with the stuff you want to keep?” Madeline asked, reaching into her pocket for the umpteenth time to hand Kurt a tissue.

“I don’t know,” Kurt shrugged. “I guess I could rent a storage space to keep it all in until we figure out what we want to do and where we want to go.”

Kurt felt someone watching him and turned to see Sebastian, a strange, unreadable expression on his face. Sebastian flashed Kurt a sly, crooked smile, then turned and walked back into the house.

An hour later, the hubbub died down. The steady stream of neighbors turned into a slow trickle, until eventually no one stopped by at all. Kurt packed the desserts into the car and helped fold up the tables. Bewildered that his boyfriend had yet to make an appearance, Kurt walked through the house in search of him. He heard his voice in the backyard, and followed it out the usually locked back door.

“Yes, sir…”

Kurt stopped in his tracks.

He had never heard Sebastian call anyone ‘sir’ and wondered for a moment if he might actually be on the phone with his father. Kurt chided himself quietly for eavesdropping, but stayed in place any way, holding his breath and waiting to hear what else he might say.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I got your number from Blaine…”

_Blaine._

The name was like a chord that tugged him forward, brought him out of hiding.

Kurt stumbled out into the yard right into Sebastian’s line of sight.

Sebastian’s eyes locked onto Kurt’s. Shocked ‘o’ shaped lips melted into a warm, genuine smile.

“One moment, sir,” Sebastian said into the phone. He walked forward toward a stunned Kurt and held out his phone.

“Kurt,” he said. “Please don’t be angry, but a very important person would like very much to talk to you.”

Kurt reached out a shaking hand and took the phone from Sebastian. Sebastian pulled Kurt’s trembling body into his arms and held him tight. Kurt swallowed hard as he spoke into the receiver.

“Dad?”

“Kurt?”

A single word spoken from the lips of his father filled one of the biggest holes inside Kurt. He crumbled against Sebastian, who caught him up in his arms before he could hit the ground as he started to cry.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	31. Ashes of an Old Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a one-shot I wrote as just a cute little interlude showing Kurt and Sebastian getting rid of some of his old things 80's angst movie style. Inspired by the Klaine Advent Drabble Challenge prompt torch.

Kurt and Sebastian looked down into the metal trash can, filled almost to the brim with remnants of Kurt’s old life – pictures, scrap book pages, odd trinkets and mementos, newspaper articles, all fodder of a life he was ready and willing to leave behind.

“This is so cliché,” Kurt said, rolling his eyes. “I mean, I feel like we’re in a bad 80s angst movie.”

“The oldies are goodies for a reason, gorgeous.” Sebastian eyed Kurt oddly as Kurt looked around nervously.

“What are you doing?” Sebastian asked. “Nobody’s watching.”

“It’s not that,” Kurt replied. “I just expect Molly Ringwald and Judd Nelson to walk out here any moment.”

Sebastian grabbed a packet of matches from his back pocket and lit three at a time, handing them carefully over to Kurt who looked at Sebastian like he was insane.

“It’ll be liberating,” Sebastian promised.

Kurt raised an eyebrow.

“Go ahead,” Sebastian said seriously. “Torch it.”

Kurt shrugged, tossing the flaming matches into the trash can. The fire caught immediately, and a wash of bright orange flame burst and crackled.

Kurt giggled.

“Wow!” he said, watching the photos curl and the paper burn. “That was strangely satisfying.”

“See,” Sebastian said. “I told you.”

The flames burned hot, and acrid grey smoke started to billow out at full force.

“Uhhh, is that supposed to happen?” Kurt asked, covering his mouth and coughing.

“They don’t show you that in the movies, do they?” Sebastian grabbed Kurt’s shirt and pulled him away from the can.

“Oh, God,” Kurt moaned, hacking and spitting into the dirt. “I think I’m going to be sick.”

A loud hissing noise startled Kurt. Sputters and spurts of compressed white powder wafted through the passing breeze. The rest of the grey smoke wafted away, and in its wake, Kurt and Sebastian could see three women, neighbors Kurt vaguely recognized as living nearby, but whom he had never really met. The three women panted heavily, coughing as the remains of the smoke aggravated their lungs, bright red canisters in their hands. The fire in the trash can had gone dormant, suffocated by white powder and foam. The two men and the three women regarded each other.

“Uh…thanks,” Sebastian said sheepishly.

“No problem,” the first lady said, looking from Kurt to Sebastian for an explanation.

“Um…we were just…” Kurt sputtered, gesturing to the trash can, cheeks stained with soot.

“Ex-boyfriend?” the second lady asked.

“Sort of,” Kurt answered. “Kind of a whole ex-life.”

All three women nodded in understanding.

“Yeah, it’s not like it happens in the movies,” the last woman said, motioning to the trash can.

“Yup,” Sebastian agreed. “It never is.”

 


	32. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm sorry this took so long to get updated, but malware destroyed one of my fic files, and a ton of story chapters for numerous stories had to be rewritten from memory. Thank you for sticking it out to the end, and join me for the sequel, Special Delivery, the first chapter of which will be up immediately.

Sebastian ran oil laden fingers slowly down Kurt’s arm, watching the droplets break free and run along his skin. Kurt hummed happily, resting his head against Sebastian’s chest and tracing patterns with his own fingers, spreading the citrus scented massage oil in delicate swoops and swirls over Sebastian’s muscles.

Kurt’s reunion with his father had been bittersweet; their conversation brief. There was so much Kurt wanted to tell his father, but it didn’t seem like the sort of talk they should have over the phone. Kurt had waited three years to divulge the secrets of where he had run off to and what had happened to him. He decided he could wait just a little bit longer and tell his father face to face. So father and son just repeated over and over how much they loved and missed each other, that they were both fine, and that they couldn’t wait to see one another again.

The events of the day drained Kurt, physically and emotionally. But after all was said and done he felt that he had accomplished everything that he set out to finish. Finally, the book of this life had a final chapter. He could close it, and start a new one.

Kurt and Sebastian drove back to the hotel in silence, preparing for a quiet evening in. Kurt packed up the last of his things, and Sebastian arranged to have everything Kurt didn’t need put into storage. There was only one thing left for them to do, and then they could start on their journey.

Kurt and Sebastian had every intention of wrapping the evening up early. They ordered room service, climbed into a bath, and even wore pajamas to bed. But Kurt’s hand started to cramp up, and Sebastian offered him a massage that started with his knuckles and his wrist, travelled up to his elbow, and then his shoulder. Shirts were removed when kisses became heated. Sebastian’s hands kneaded Kurt’s muscles, and Kurt smeared a dollop of oil over Sebastian’s chest.

After days of talking and pleading, begging and explaining, confessing and promising, Kurt was done with words. He had nothing left to say. So when they came together, when the decision to stave of sleep in favor of making love was made, it was done quietly. For once, even the addition of the occasional ‘I love you’ wouldn’t have enhanced the experience. There was something intimate to their communicating in silence. Sebastian took Kurt’s chin in his cupped hand and Kurt kissed him. Kurt hooked his fingers beneath the elastic of Sebastian’s pants and Sebastian moved to let Kurt pull them off him. Sebastian lay back on the bed and Kurt followed.

Sebastian needed Kurt, and Kurt needed Sebastian. Nothing needed to be said.

Kurt kissed Sebastian, savoring the heat of his lips while he quickly rolled a condom over Sebastian’s length. He climbed over Sebastian’s hips and slid down onto his cock with no hiss of pain, no burn, no discomfort. Kurt lay over him, his back pressed to Sebastian’s chest, his head resting on Sebastian’s shoulder. Lying so close together, they barely moved; Sebastian buried deep in Kurt’s body, taking advantage of this position to glide his fingers over Kurt’s skin, dance them gently in circles around Kurt’s sensitive hips. He took Kurt’s erection in his slick hand and stroked slowly. Moans stayed hush, like secrets neither man wanted anyone else to hear.

Sebastian closed his eyes and appreciated the whole of Kurt’s body – his comfortable weight pressing against him, the cut of his trim muscles, the soft hair that covered his legs. Sebastian ran his hands up Kurt’s thighs and felt him tremble. Sebastian loved Kurt trembling against him. He took long pauses, willing away his own orgasms. It didn’t matter to him if he came, as long as he could spend the evening feeling Kurt’s body react to his touch.

It became too much when Kurt started to move, started to writhe, started to moan, bucking his hips up into Sebastian’s grip around his cock. Sebastian kissed his temple, wrapping his arm around his waist. Kurt gripped hard to Sebastian’s legs, and that’s how they came – not with a powerful, mind-blowing surge that ripped through their bodies and left them reeling; but with subtle explosions and gentle tremors. It left Sebastian more fulfilled than ravenous; complete instead of torn apart.

“I…I’m not going to move…if that’s alright,” Kurt whispered, hands still latched onto Sebastian’s sides.

“So, basically nothing’s going to change,” Sebastian teased. Kurt tried to pinch Sebastian, but his slick fingers just fruitlessly slipped over Sebastian’s skin. Sebastian squeezed Kurt tight and smiled, feeling Kurt drift away, his grip relaxing, his limbs heavy. Sebastian grabbed the pillowcase off one of the pillows on the bed and used it to clean Kurt, careful not to wake him. He rolled them onto their sides and covered them with a blanket.

“You don’t have to move,” Sebastian whispered. “You don’t have to do anything…ever.” Sebastian sighed, holding Kurt’s sleeping body. “I don’t know what exactly I’m going to do with you, Kurt Hummel, but I do know…I’m never letting you go.”

* * *

 

“Yuck,” Kurt groaned, stepping over feet and legs, and multitudes of people who refused to move an inch to let them pass. “It smells like blood and stale popcorn in here.”

“You’ll get used to it,” Sebastian said. Kurt tripped, muttering something about uncultured Neanderthals and last season Louis Vuittons. A man stood to defend his trampled feet but Sebastian glared him back down into his seat.

“I can’t believe you’ve known Justice how long and you haven’t been to one of his fights?” Sebastian pointed past Kurt to a pair of vacant seats. Kurt made his way towards them and sat down, grimacing as he tried to get comfortable in the metal fold-down chairs.

“Well, it never really came up,” Kurt said. “To be fair, I had no one to go with, and there’s no way in hell I’m coming to a place like this by myself.”

Sebastian took Kurt’s hand, held it tight, and kissed it. Kurt looked over the heads in the crowded audience and spotted flaming red hair up front by the fighting cage, brown eyes searching up into the crowd for the two of them. Madeline spotted them and smiled wide, waving her arm wildly. Kurt pointed her out to Sebastian, and they waved back. Kurt blew her kisses and held up a hand with fingers crossed. She returned the gesture with both hands, clenching her teeth and looking nervous.

“Do you really think he won’t ask her if he doesn’t win?” Kurt asked as Madeline sat back down in her seat.

“I really don’t know,” Sebastian answered. “You know, Justice is a man of his word. He must have his reasons, but…”

Sebastian shrugged.

As much as they knew and loved their friend, Justice was still, in many ways, a mystery. Sebastian wasn’t exactly clear on Justice’s motives for waiting to win this one title before asking for Madeline’s hand, but he didn’t want to pry. After everything Justice had done for him and Kurt, he deserved the benefit of the doubt in the very least. All they could do was hope that Justice won the fight so Madeline could get her well-deserved happily ever after.

A roar of applause and cheering erupted when Justice and his opponent, an MMA fighter by the name of Paolo, came out into the arena. Sebastian whistled low as Justice entered the cage. He had accompanied Justice to the gym many times, but he had never seen him prepare for a fight. It frightened Sebastian to admit that his friend looked like a killer. Justice was shorter than his opponent, and older by a few years, but Justice’s physique was vastly more developed. Sebastian wondered how the two men could even fight in the same division.

Sebastian could tell by the way the crowd went absolutely crazy every time Justice circled the ring that he was definitely the crowd favorite. His opponent knew it, too. There was more than a little bit of intimidation in the younger wrestler’s eyes when he took in Justice’s massive chest covered in tattoos, and the way Justice stood in his corner and pounded his chest hard to the delight of his cheering fans. Only once did Justice glance down at Madeline, but when he did he let a small smile slip and sent a wink her way.

Kurt watched the first round of Justice’s fight through his fingers. As soon as the first hit connected and the blood started to flow, Kurt went pale. Sebastian thought for sure Kurt was going to be sick. A lot of people sitting around them thought so, too, and moved to empty seats elsewhere in the arena. But by the fourth round, Kurt was on his feet, yelling so loudly that Sebastian had no other option but to sit and enjoy the show.

“Pin him, Just!” Kurt screamed, leaping into the air as the two fighters scuttled around on the floor. “Break out of that arm bar and tap him out! My girl needs a diamond ring!”

Sebastian snickered at the confused stares of the remaining people around them, but he made no move to get Kurt to sit down.

Justice pulled out of the arm bar, delivering a painful kick to Paolo’s side. Justice flipped him, snaking his arms under the younger man’s armpits and locking his hands together behind Paolo’s neck, forcing his head down. Paolo kicked his heels along the mat, trying to push his head back into Justice’s nose, to stun him into letting go, but Justice was too strong. Kurt and Sebastian could see the look of fierce determination in their friend’s eyes, his overwhelming hunger to win. Justice grunted, wrapping his legs around his opponent’s thighs to stop his squirming.

Caught in his iron grasp, Paolo panicked, using all his energy to try and break free. The crowd rose to their feet, some cheering for Justice, some cheering for his opponent, but most cheering for Justice. Justice absorbed the man’s struggles, letting the younger man tire himself out. Paolo’s flailing arms started to weaken, reaching around him in vain for a way to escape. When it was obvious he wasn’t just losing steam but oxygen as well, the referee ran over to the wrestlers and called the match.

Justice let go, laying his opponent out carefully on the mat. He took Paolo’s hand in his and held it. Kurt and Sebastian could see Justice talking to Paolo, patting him on the arm when he didn’t respond. The dazed wrestler finally opened his eyes and nodded while Justice spoke, his face lighting up with a dopey half smile. Justice and Paolo’s coach helped Paolo to his feet. Justice made sure the man was steady on his feet, then the two fighters embraced. Paolo patted Justice on the back with his fist, congratulating him on his win.

The referee called to the crowd, announcing the new winner. The din in the arena was deafening. A scantily clad woman handed Justice a belt, and the referee held Justice’s arm high in the air, but Justice seemed distracted. In a room full of people yelling for his attention and cheering him on, he searched the audience for one face. When he saw Madeline, he smiled, and the whole world around him – fans, titles, sponsors vying for his attention, fans waving their arms and jumping around the edge of the ring  – disappeared. He pulled his arm away from the referee’s grasp and waved Madeline to him. He grabbed her arm through the door of the cage and pulled her inside.

She wrapped her arms around him and held him, not caring at all about the catcalls and the screams, or the sweat and blood staining her blouse. Kurt saw Justice reach out and his coach, watching with a sly smile, put something in his hand. Kurt bounced excitedly, wrapping his arms around Sebastian’s waist. Justice dropped slowly to one knee, and in the midst of thousands of screaming fans, Justice asked a teary eyed Madeline to marry him. Madeline nodded, raising a hand to cover her mouth as Justice slipped a ring on her finger. Justice stood and scooped his fiancée up into his arms. Sebastian felt Kurt’s deep sigh when they kissed. Justice spun Madeline around and then held her up in the air.

“Well,” Sebastian said, looking down at Kurt, who dabbed his eyes with a napkin, “it looks like they’re getting their lives started.”

“Yeah,” Kurt said with a quivering voice. “Yeah, it does.”

“Shall we get started with ours?”

Kurt looked up at Sebastian with tear stained cheeks and a lopsided grin. He nodded.

“Let’s go.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember...Special Delivery...go read it. :)


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